Life’s Purpose – a powerful force that allows you to “feel” your new path

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Sometimes in tragedy we find our life’s purpose – the eye sheds a tear to find its focus.

rockspurposeThis quote by Robert Brault a free lance writer, really struck a cord in me.  Every single morning when I awake I feel a purpose…it’s hard to explain, but it is a good feeling, a feeling like I am here at this moment in time for a reason, and I know I can do what it is that I am suppose to do while I am still on this earth.
Of course there are times that I sit down and wonder, with pain in my heart, and tears in my eyes, “Why did my family have to go through all this tragedy? Why did our 20 year old daughter, a person that never hurt anyone in her life, never even stole a package of gum, why did she have to suffer?”  I don’t have an answer for any of those questions, but I do know that so far I have survived this horrific pain, and now every day I feel a very powerful sense of purpose in my life.  I have faith in myself that this purpose was given to me for a reason and I will charge forward with alI my strength to participate in the making of some very important changes in this world.

Team Morgan it’s time – you are all needed, please lend her your help!

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“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.  Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” – Jane Howard

And we have one, many actually… and you are all part of it!  When our family needed that extra strength and hope, so many wonderful people offered to help us in our quest for justice for Morgan.  Some of you have called yourselves, “Team Morgan,” and in my own mind I have always thought of you as earth angels!   I have been so grateful for every single offer of help and support.  We have been so fortunate to have assistance in so many differing areas of expertise.  Exposing the truth would never have come this far without all of it.  And now as Morgan’s case takes another step forward I invite everyone to join in.

I am extremely happy to announce that Northern Colorado Crime Stoppers, along with help from Families of Homicide and Missing Persons (FOHVAMP) is now circulating a reward poster for any information leading to the arrest of the person(s) involved in the unsolved homicide of our 20 year old daughter Morgan Ingram on December 2, 2011.

If every single one of you could please share this post with anyone, and everyone you know, I would greatly appreciate it.

reward.poster copyjpegI know there are people that know what happened to Morgan, and those people also know who is responsible.  We want those people to come forward to help solve this crime.  This is their chance to do the right thing, and to no longer hide in the shadows.  Sometimes people think that what they know will not make a difference, but rest assured every single small piece of information will help to tell the whole story.  Finding the piece that will finally tip the scale for Morgan is something I will never stop fighting for.  I have heard many stories of the threats made against, “snitches,” so far, and if you feel unable or fearful to speak your truth, then please know I have been assured you can remain absolutely anonymous.  Personally I feel that if you are forced to swallow the truth and keep it inside, then it eats at you.  It’s nature’s law.  I would like people to know that when you let the truth out the feeling you get is awesome and liberating!

I myself have wanted to desperately get out all the details, facts, and evidence that we have gathered over the past years, but I have had to hold back (from this blog) on a lot of information in the hopes that it can be used in a criminal case someday.  At times I admit I have let my anger get the best of me.  I could say, “What parent wouldn’t be angry?” but instead I would like to say because of Steve I have been blessed – he has held me back and shown me that sharing all the brutal ugliness we have uncovered is just not always helpful, and not always necessary, not yet anyway.  Things happen for a reason and they happen when they are suppose to happen…not just when I want them to happen.  What I have learned over the years is that justice is not going to come through anger or ego, only through facts, so I do the best I can to keep mine in check.  Facts come out at the correct time, not when I want them to, but when they should be released.

I can never stress enough, both to myself and to everyone whom I have contact with that my efforts are not only about the loss of our precious daughter, but about all the wrongs being perpetrated on other innocent victims every day, and what needs to change to prevent this from happening again.  Unfortunately, and horribly there are so many stories of many other people who are suffering, or have suffered great personal loss themselves.  What happened to Morgan is not an isolated case, while I pray the cover-up that has followed is an isolated case.  For the good of all, this has to stop somewhere.

The simple yet overwhelming truth is that for Morgan to have justice someday, unpleasant truths will eventually have to have to come out, and visit the light of day.  It should not be much of a stretch to see that this will be unpleasant for some, and for others it is something that they will want to avoid at all costs.  To those I say that for Morgan to have been victimized, then murdered, only to be victimized again, was horrific for her, and all those who knew and loved her so much.

The knowledge that pursuing justice for Morgan will lead to a very needed change in the way victims and co-victims are treated in the future is extremely important to me, and I know it would have been so important to Morgan as well.  I know that this fight for justice is not only being waged by Morgan’s family and friends, but also by complete strangers that want to help make changes for the better in this world  – I will probably never be able to explain it except to say there are forces at work that have been making the impossible possible in this fight.

So please I am asking you all now to share this blog, and this poster in any way you can.  This is a very powerful way you can help find justice for Morgan.

You can even print the poster and hang it anywhere you think it may be seen by people that may know something.  Especially in Newcastle, Glenwood Springs, Carbondale, Basalt, and Aspen, CO.  Coffee shops, sports shops, churches, grocery stores, colleges, anywhere that they will allow you to post this.  Thank you all so very much – with much love from the bottom of my heart!  

 Please help – Justice for Morgan!

***Criminals do “trip up” – they can’t help themselves…just found out that on 3/16/2014 Keenan was arrested again, it was in the local newspaper listed under recent crimes, posted by the Glenwood Springs Police (not the sheriffs).  His criminal record keeps growing, but for some reason he seems to be “protected” and nothing ever really happens to him – this is a question I continually ask myself.

National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims

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Today is the National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims – I would like everyone to know that Morgan will be represented during this presentation.  My sincere thanks to FOHVAMP and COVA for including her, even though Steve and I can not be present.

COVA
This year we observe our nation’s 8th Annual Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims. We are planning a commemorative ceremony on Thursday, September 25th.Mistress of Ceremonies: Michelle Adams

Special Guest Speakers: Phil Clark, Leader of the Front Range Chapter of Parents of Murdered Children (POMC), Mark Reichert, Board President, Families of Homicide Victims and Missing Persons (FOHVAMP)

Time: 11AM – 1PM

Location: Plaza in front of the Denver Crime Laboratory, 1371 Cherokee Street, Denver.  For a map of parking lots in the area with rates please click here.

Families of murder victims are encouraged to bring a picture of their loved one to display. A representative from each family may present the name of their loved one, date of birth, and date of death at the microphone.

September 25th was chosen to honor POMC founders Robert and Charlotte Hullinger of Cincinnati, Ohio, whose daughter was murdered on that date in 1978.

THE ANNUAL EVENT IS CO-SPONSORED BY:  The Front Range Chapter of Parents of Murdered Children, Voices of Victims, Denver Police Department Victim Assistance Unit, Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD), Families of Homicide Victims and Missing Persons, Rocky Mountain Victim Law Center, Denver District Attorney’s Office, Attorney General’s Office, Division of Criminal Justice, and COVA.

FOHVAMPCRESTlogo_pomc

 

Morgan Is A Very Bright Light…

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Morganwyoungtessi

Morgan with Tessi as a puppy – granted she was a big puppy, but she was very young at the time this picture was taken.  Morgan loved children and animals – they always made her smile.

Morgan was a gentle and sweet soul, existing as one with the earth.  Loved by all, and who’s bright light attracted everyone, and everything – including both light and darkness, people that were good, and people that were evil.

I really miss listening to her play her keyboard and sing.  One of the song that she used to sing almost every day was Hallelujah.  You may think it is just a coincidence, or a sign, or a whisper from an angel, but whatever you may believe in my heart every time I walk into a room and this song is playing or just goes on I “feel” like Morgan is reminding me that she is right there with me.  I “feel” a warm surge go through my back and all the sadness and longing I have to see her again becomes less because I “feel” like she is right there with me.  So on that note I would like to share with you the song below.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMNRXQuvl64

The most beautiful word: Hallelujah.

The most beautiful song, originally written and sung by none other than Buddhist, and Ladies’ Man, Leonard Cohen.  This song has different meanings to a lot of people but it is a beautiful song and one that makes me feel happy inside.

“And even though it all went wrong, I’ll stand right here before the Lord of song, with nothing on my tongue but ‘Hallelujah’.”

It’s, as I say, a desire to affirm my faith in life, not in some formal religious way but with enthusiasm, with emotion…It’s a rather joyous song. I wanted to write something in the tradition of the hallelujah choruses but from a different point of view…It’s the notion that there is no perfection—that this is a broken world and we live with broken hearts and broken lives but still that is no alibi for anything.

On the contrary, you have to stand up and say hallelujah under those circumstances.

~ Leonard Cohen

And most famously, by Rufus Wainwright, a version that made it into Shrek, the blockbuster children’s fave movie.

I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord
But you don’t really care for music, do ya?
Well it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth
The minor fall and the major lift
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Well your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya
She tied you to her kitchen chair
And she broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot somebody who out drew ya
It’s not a cry that you hear at night
It’s not someone whos seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Hello to Fall 2014 – Tonight is the Autumn Equinox

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fallmorgantessiAt 10:29 pm EDT tonight the Earth will have equal amounts of light and darkness – day and night are balanced to nearly 12 hours each all over the world, tonight is called the beginning of Fall and the Autumn Equinox.  Meteorologically speaking, Autumn began on Sept. 1st, but the Autumnal Equinox marks the astronomical start to the Fall season.

In some places like Colorado the leaves are starting to change, there is a briskness in the air, and I must admit this always was my favorite time of the year, and I know Morgan loved it as well.  Now nightfall will come sooner – in 2011 that was not a good thing for us.

Today is a day of reflection for me.  I have been thinking back to the Fall of 2011 when Morgan’s stalking had been ongoing since August 2nd, but that Fall we had no idea that her stalking would end her life in just a few short months.  I remember at that time Morgan was determined not to let the actions of her stalker keep her from the things she loved.  She was frightened, and cautious, but determined not to allow anyone to take her love of life away.  She was enjoying school, ballet, photography and being with her friends.  At that time her stalking terror was confined to our house – she felt much safer away from home.  With nightfall coming earlier her bright days of feeling safe were now being cut shorter with the Fall Equinox.

My days of beating myself up for not being able to protect my daughter are over.  They were very painful days, but I now realize that it was something that I needed to go through in order to finally come to the realization that it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t her father’s fault, or her siblings fault, or her friends fault that we couldn’t protect her – it was the fault of the person that took her life.  We all wanted to protect her – we all loved Morgan so much.

I now realize that we all make choices in our lives, and when someone chooses to do evil things to another, that is their choice and they are the ones, the only ones, that should carry that burden.  The night Morgan was murdered it was the perfect storm…everything went wrong for Morgan.  She didn’t want to sleep at home, she was scared.  She tried to sleep at a friends house, and when that didn’t work she tried to have another friend sleep over, and when that didn’t work she came home alone.

Steve and I were so exhausted we both made huge mistakes. Earlier in the evening we were all gone out of the house between 6:00 – 8:00 pm.  I shut the dogs up in the laundry room, so it was possible that a person could have come into our home while we were away, and hid out until all were asleep (we didn’t leave the dogs loose like we usually did, because Morgan’s puppy had just ripped up a stuffed animal), and when we returned home Steve turned off the driveway motion alarm, because every time the sheriff’s cruisers drove by it would go off and scare everyone awake in the middle of the night.

After Morgan went to sleep that night we closed the door to our room instead of leaving it open – we always left it open so our dog could guard the whole house (even though she wasn’t much of a guard dog, at least we hoped she could alert us if anything happened.)  Steve and I both took sleeping pills to insure a good nights sleep – normally we took turns, so one of us could be on alert.  Steve was always moving around the location of various motion detectors, and that day he had taken the detector from the back patio to the garage in order to paint it, so it would be more concealed…unfortunately this left the back of our house more accessible that night. And that night Morgan hadn’t managed to get a friend to sleep over, so she was now sleeping in her room alone, on the the other end of our house, approximately 55 feet away from us…much too far away, with both doors closed we couldn’t hear anything.  We thought because she had a panic/alarm button on her nightstand, as well as her cell phone in bed with her, that she could alert us if anything was wrong – she had used both many times.  This was not a good plan because obviously if she were asleep and someone came in her room they could have easily overpowered her in her before she could send a text from her phone of push her panic button…and that night someone tore her panic button off it’s mount and tossed it on the floor away from her bed, and as for her cell phone it was found the next morning under her bathroom door…I now wish we had had cameras inside our home, along with motion alarms inside our home, among so many other regrets.  I just really want others to know what went wrong for us – it may help them somewhere down the line to be more aware than we were of what could possibly happen.  A stalker is always watching – that’s what they do, and they can always wait for that one perfect moment to strike, while you on the other hand have to be hyper-vigilent 24/7.

fallredleavesSo again I will repeat that Fall is a beautiful time of the year, and nature has absolutely nothing to do with Morgan’s murder – only the person that made the choice to kill her, and steal her from this world.  I believe someday there will be justice for Morgan, and her murderer will receive his punishment, along with anyone who assisted or covered for him…just like Morgan’s murderer made a choice, anyone that knows what he did, and doesn’t come forward is just as responsible, and that is a choice that they are making.  It’s not too late for people that have information to come forward…it’s just too late for the one responsible for taking Morgan’s life.

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it 

Martin Luther King, Jr.