Life’s Purpose – a powerful force that allows you to “feel” your new path

Sometimes in tragedy we find our life’s purpose – the eye sheds a tear to find its focus.

rockspurposeThis quote by Robert Brault a free lance writer, really struck a cord in me.  Every single morning when I awake I feel a purpose…it’s hard to explain, but it is a good feeling, a feeling like I am here at this moment in time for a reason, and I know I can do what it is that I am suppose to do while I am still on this earth.
Of course there are times that I sit down and wonder, with pain in my heart, and tears in my eyes, “Why did my family have to go through all this tragedy? Why did our 20 year old daughter, a person that never hurt anyone in her life, never even stole a package of gum, why did she have to suffer?”  I don’t have an answer for any of those questions, but I do know that so far I have survived this horrific pain, and now every day I feel a very powerful sense of purpose in my life.  I have faith in myself that this purpose was given to me for a reason and I will charge forward with alI my strength to participate in the making of some very important changes in this world.

Morgan’s murder…we fight back with truth & facts

Colorado - beautiful, but what secrets lurk?

Colorado – it’s beautiful, but is it now a happy hunting ground for predators?  And I am not referring to mountain lions.

A very interesting occurrence keeps repeating itself over, and over again.  Recently when I blogged about releasing evidence on Morgan’s case it brought out the same bottom feeders that have been spreading lies all around the Internet about me, Morgan, our family, etc. ever since this website, and blog was originally launched.  They came out in force – calling my cell phone, attacking some vocal supporters (Cyber-stalking by calling their place of business, calling their cell phones, blasting loud music over the phone, and on and on), going on the Internet to again spread untruths as if they know what they are talking about – which they don’t. I want to be very clear that as far as Steve and I are concerned we view it all as a distraction (even though cyber-stalking is a crime, and should be punished as one), if we let it get to us it would distract us from what we need to do in order to get justice for Morgan, so we don’t – we do not want or need, and will not engage in any distractions.  It is like having a fly in the room buzzing around – you may want to take the time to swat at it, but if you are in a rush to get something done you just don’t bother. Now after getting that off my chest I know I probably shouldn’t have even mentioned it, but I have found out from many national victims experts that this is a phenomenon that is occurring all over our country – people attacking victims, strange, but very true.  Sometimes they are the family of the criminal, sometimes friends of the family of the criminal, and sometimes even families of other criminals that feel like by attacking other victims it justifies their existence…either way it’s sick!  And when members of the criminal justice system do not respond appropriately to this type of intimidation, and fail to correct system deficiencies that enable opportunities for these people to intimidate victims and victim’s families, they become inadvertent accomplices to these intimidators.  FACT:  As stated by someone else in September of 2011 –  Morgan’s stalking was not a figment of a young woman’s imagination.  Her terrorizing was not only observed by others, but also recorded on security cameras placed around her home (and yes after we realized she had a stalker we had a camera pointed at her bedroom windows, as did the sheriffs themselves, once it became a felony stalking case, they had their own camera pointed at it as well).  The case was elevated to the level of felony stalking by the Investigators due to escalating events, not by Morgan or her family.  In other words, evidence was there to prove a perpetrator existed. FACT:  Predatory stalkers – for the predatory stalker, stalking is foreplay; the real goal is sexual assault. Steve and I believe this is the type of stalker Morgan had.  Please read this article by Joni E. Johnston, Psy.D. that was published in Psychology Today  FACT:  It has been a very long journey since the morning we found Morgan’s lifeless body in her bedroom, and our lives were forever changed.  That cold grey morning on December 2, 2011 I screamed for Steve to come into Morgan’s room, as Steve ran in and rolled Morgan over from her side onto her back, I called 911, I could hear Steve – crying out and begging Morgan to breathe, while giving her CPR.  I could hear him while I was on the phone with the 911 operator, my world was starting to swirl out of control – my soul was telling me she was no longer in her body, but I was trying not to listen to myself, I wanted with every cell in my body for Steve to be able to save her. There was so much that we did not know back then, and in our complete shock and horror we could not see the forest through the trees.  We were too trusting…the only thing that kept us asking questions was a gut feeling, and the need to keep busy, and get answers.  We were told by the lead detective that very morning, before her body was taken away for an autopsy, that her death had nothing to do with the stalking.  How could you know that we asked?  We were told there was no signs of forced entry, no sign of a struggle, no sign of sexual assault, no sign of suicide, it was a mystery until the autopsy was completed, and the toxicology results were in.  Then on the 19th of December we were told Morgan died of natural causes.  We desperately needed to understand how our healthy 20 year old could die of natural causes when she had a stalker that we were told would most likely escalate his behavior only 2 days earlier.  We were worried that if it really was natural causes that our grandchildren could be in danger.  We needed answers, and refused to give up.  The quest for answers was extremely painful as we slowly peeled back layers and layers of deceit, that at times were so hard to understand due to lack of response from the Sheriff & Coroner’s offices. The forensic pathologist would not budge from his decision that she died of natural causes, although the information that was being given to him, information that would explain how his conclusion was incorrect came from specialists in the medical field, not us.  In our quest for the truth I was threatened, I then informed both the Sheriff & Coroner’s offices, they did not respond, only to have that exact threat fulfilled when Morgan’s manner of death was changed from natural causes to a suicide 8 months after her murder.  I guess everyone thought we would back off…the truths we have uncovered have taken us over 2 years, and it has been a slow tortuous journey.  We have been told time is on our side – I really couldn’t comprehend that statement at the time, but now after information and evidence has presented itself so long after her murder I finally do understand the truth in that statement.  What we know today we did not know 2 years ago, not 1 year ago, not even 6 months ago.  My blog reflected the truth about what we knew at that time that I made those entries, using what we had in front of us at that moment – what we know now is so much more.  This has been a process, and a journey I pray no other parents will ever have to go through, although I know there have been other families that already have gone through this nightmare, and many more that will probably go through this same thing in the future if changes are not made.  It is NOT okay to be complicit when it comes to a crime I don’t care who you are; especially if you are sworn to serve and protect.  The truth always needs to come out, and should not be buried and ignored. FACT:  The first thing I want to say is that Detective Rob Glassmire (the Detective assigned to Morgan’s felony stalking case) told me 2 days before Morgan’s murder that the following Tuesday he would be picking up the SUSPECT’S time sheet from City Market in El Jebel and would be laying it over my timeline in order to see if the SUSPECT’S hours coincided with the stalking events.  He not only did not do this at that time, but we never got to see the work hour schedule until over a year after Morgan was murdered.  I have since entered the SUSPECT’S hours into my timeline, and it makes me sick to my stomach to now see, in black and white,  almost every single incident of stalking/harassment/torture and murder that happened to Morgan was just before the SUSPECT clocked in at work, or right after he got off from work.  He worked mostly the graveyard shift, and it takes less than 5 minutes to drive from his place of employment at City Market to where our house was at the time.  This not only flies in the face of the STALKER’S mother’s email to me informing me that he wasn’t even in the state at the time of the murder (another lie), and that the SUSPECT was never around during any of the stalking incidents (how would she know when the stalking incidents took place?), but also the big question is why did Garfield County Sheriff Detective Rob Glassmire (the lead detective in Morgan’s FELONY STALKING CASE) not overlay the hours like he said he would? FACT:  By the time Detective Glassmire collected the SUSPECT’S hours he already had a dead 20 year old woman, one that had been in excellent physical condition, except that she had a stalker, she had identified the stalker, she had wanted to get a protective order, he had said 2 days before her murder that he felt the stalking was going to escalate. Unbeknownst to us at the time he had told one of the SUSPECTS, only 4 days before the murder, that the following week he would be collecting the suspects hours to overlay them over my timeline and that on the same day he would be formally interviewing Morgan on camera for her official statement.  Now was this a rookie mistake?  Was this intentional?  Did this contribute to Morgan’s murder?  We may never know, and by the time that Tuesday came when Detective Glassmire was supposed to collect those hours, interview Morgan, and wrap up the case, Morgan had already been dead for 4 1/2 days…it was too late.  Is this why the very morning he arrived at our house, after we found Morgan’s lifeless body, he had emphatically told us her death was a mystery, but he was positive it had nothing to do with the stalking?  Why would he say that without an investigation?  What was he trying to hide? Was the Garfield County Sheriff’s office planning on making an arrest the following week with just another slap on the wrist and then releasing the SUSPECT again, just like they, and the Glenwood Springs Police had done so many times in the past?  Did their plan go horribly wrong?  FACT: The SUSPECT had had at that time multiple past arrests for criminal trespass (maybe I am missing something here, but isn’t that what stalking is called before it becomes a felony stalking case?), suspicious events, drugs, drug paraphernalia, underage alcohol, etc. and then 24 days after Morgan’s murder the SUSPECT was arrested again.  This time he was pulled over on a “warrant” for selling stolen jewelry.  When Glenwood Springs Police pulled him over (the police dog alerted to the car he was driving so it was searched) he was arrested on multiple charges of having drugs, drug paraphernalia as well as felony distribution.  Before I ever knew about this arrest, in the first week after Morgan was murdered I had verbally told Detectective Glassmire (on phone calls, as well as in person) about items of jewelry that were missing from Morgan’s room.   He had asked me to let him know if I noticed anything missing the first day we were allowed back in her room.  He seemed to be concerned because I had described a few of these items that were missing, and told him a couple of the missing pieces of jewelry were from old boyfriends, he told me in a stalking case that could be a very big tip-off.  One (and only one) of these items was found in the first week after her murder, but none of the other pieces were ever located (they were, and are still gone) and Detective Glassmire was told that as well as a detailed description of these pieces.  So of course Steve and I felt the details of this arrest would be very important to find out about.  When I called Detective Glassmire to tell him about the arrest he told me he did not even know the SUSPECT had been arrested.  We never thought of it at the time, but now wonder why a report of stolen property was never filed on the missing jewelry – why?  FACT: Why was the Colorado Bureau of Investigation (CBI) not called in the morning we found Morgan’s body?  I asked Detective Glassmire that exact question, and the answer he gave me was, “if we called in the CBI on every suspicious death we would be perceived as lazy, and not wanting to do our jobs.”  What kind of answer is that?  Doesn’t every family deserve answers, especially when their daughter has a stalker with an active felony stalking case?  Especially when the morning her body is found your house has crime scene tape around it, your told it’s a crime scene, you are told they are taking her body away because she died under suspicious circumstances.  Isn’t the truth important – not only for the family of the victim, but for society in general?  If you have a suspicious death (as they called Morgan’s death, because of the ongoing felony STALKING case at the time) shouldn’t you use whatever methods you have at your disposal to arrive at the truth?  If a murder is ignored wouldn’t logic predicate that most likely that murderer will go on to murder again?  How is this fair to the next victim?  What about the protection of the citizens of the Roaring Fork Valley – will they wait until another murder happens, and just call it another suicide?  Is this why the suicide rate in that part of Colorado is so much higher than almost anywhere in the country? FACT: I know Garfield County would like people to believe there was never a stalking (pretty hard to believe since Morgan’s stalking lasted 4 months, and was an active criminal felony stalking case, with a detective assigned to the case, and plenty of evidence, footprints, video images, physical sightings, and many of her friends, friend’s parents & teachers were aware of it, etc.)  I know they want everyone to believe there was no stalker, because Sheriff Lou Vallario went out in the front of the courthouse in September 2012 and spoke into the camera of CBS News stating that his officers went out to the Ingram’s house over 50 times and never saw a STALKER.  Back then I had no idea why he would say something like that – we were still in a deep bubble of grief, the Coroner had Morgan’s manner of death listed as natural causes all those 8 months, but we intuitively felt that couldn’t be correct, and then the Coroner changed the manner of death to suicide, we knew that wasn’t correct either.  Of course the Sheriff’s Deputies wouldn’t be expected to drive up to our house, long after we called about a stalking incident, just in time to see the STALKER sitting on our lawn just waiting for them to get there…I would be shocked if they did see the stalker, but they did see, and they did receive from us many forms of evidence of the stalker over that period of time and they knew Morgan had a STALKER.  The Sheriffs are the ones that showed us the footprints outside her windows, they are the ones that pointed out to us the well worn trail in the berm behind our house that led directly to the back of our house, I even called in one of the stalking incidents (probably the closest they ever got to an apprehension) when Morgan was not even home at the time – it happened to me, and scared the hell out of me.  So why did Detective Glassmire say Morgan’s death had no connection to the stalking the very morning her body was found, and why did Sheriff Lou Vallario tell the press, 8 months after her murder, that his officers came to our house over 50 times and never saw a stalker?  Why did the Sheriff Lou Vallario state that he would never open Morgan’s case?  I thought there was no statute of limitations in a murder case?  I have never heard a law enforcement agent say they would never open a case of murder – if he wanted to believe it wasn’t murder he still could have said if new evidence is presented then her case would be opened, but that is not what was said…why?  And now why, over 2 years after Morgan’s murder do the Garfield County Sheriff’s office, and the DA’s office tell people that call them about Morgan’s case that there was never a stalker, and that Morgan committed suicide, case closed?  How are people with credible information going to be able to give that information to law enforcement if law enforcement doesn’t want to hear it?  What are they trying so hard to hide?  FACT: Morgan did have a stalker.  Steve and I lived in the same house as Morgan – we heard and experienced it with her, and believe me it was traumatic!  Her stalking was not the figment of her imagination.  Her terrorization was not only observed by others, but also recorded on security cameras placed around our home.  We lived through motion alarms (positioned all around the house) going off in the middle of the night, along with motion lights (by almost every window and door) going off and on. And again, her case was elevated to the level of a felony stalking by the Investigators due to escalating events, not by Morgan or Steve and I.  In other words, evidence was there to prove a perpetrator existed.  Patrol Officers spoke with Morgan every time they showed up, and once it turned into a felony stalking case she spoke with the Detective assigned to her case almost every Sunday, they just never wrote up the reports on every incident, and we did not know at the time to request the reports after every incident, so we had no idea that the reports were not being typed up.  None of us asked for this to happen to Morgan or our family, and just like so many other victims we had no idea what to do.   Morgan was an extremely strong young woman and was NOT driven to the point of no return.  She was scared, but also very ANGRY, and angry people do not end their own lives.  Angry people go after those who are stealing their personal joy in life. She refused to allow the stalker to stop her from going to school, work or visiting friends that needed her.  She was very careful to always have pepper spray on her, she tried to always have friends walk her to her car and have me meet her in the driveway when she returned home.  The last week of her life she tried to always have a friend stay overnight with her when she slept at home, even though we were there as well – she was frightened. The night before her murder she asked for a knife to protect herself, and Steve bought her one…it was in her bed when we found her on the morning of 12/2/2011…it was never collected by the Sheriff’s. The same night she was murdered she had a bad feeling, she was extremely scared, she tried to sleep over a friend’s house.  I never knew this for a long time until I spoke with the Aunt whose house it was.  Through tears she expressed to me that she told Morgan that she had a migraine when she came home, and did not want Morgan to sleep over – Morgan told her it was okay and not to worry. When she heard about what happened to Morgan her guilt at sending her home that night wore on her, and consumed her.  I told her it was not her fault, none of us had any way of knowing what would happen that night…this was the fault of her murderer, and no one else!  FACT: Morgan had NO alcohol and NO illegal drugs in her toxicology results, and I wouldn’t have thought there would be, but the Sheriff’s office seemed like they were prepared for just that outcome…must have been shocking to them at the time when there wasn’t anything like that in her system.  People may not want to believe what they are being told, maybe because it does not fit into what they “believe” in their view of the world, but Morgan really was a very conservative young woman, she would never even drink a sip of wine with dinner if she knew she would be driving, she had a medical marijuana permit because she wanted to be able to handle any pain she may have in a natural manner (she had hyperalgesia), she did not like prescription meds, and did not want to use marijuana unless it was legal.  Even with a medical marijuana permit she still hardly ever used it.  She did not “recreationally” use illegal, or prescription drugs.  When I was sent the 1st Postmortem Examination Report, along with the toxicology results on December 19, 2011 the only thing she did have in her blood was an extremely high level of a drug called amitriptyline.  Morgan did not have a prescription for amitriptyline, she had an old bottle that was expired.  She had taken a low dose of 25 mg years ago for chronic nerve pain, a condition that caused her to develop hyperalgesia after long-term low level exposure to Carbon Monoxide (25 mg is not used for depression, it is used for nerve pain – Morgan was NEVER diagnosed with depression).  Through diet, exercise, hyperbaric chamber treatments, and stress control, using all the methods she had learned over the years (yoga, piano, etc.), she was able to overcome this condition that had been robbing her of a normal healthy life.  She was a fighter – an extremely strong, and intelligent girl – she would not allow anything to stop her.  She loved life, and wanted to live it. FACT: Besides the accepted uses of amitriptyline it has also been used in a less desirable, nefarious way as a tool of not only date rape, but also murder.  Several high profile and many lesser reported cases throughout the world have documented the use of amitriptyline as a weapon against other humans.  This drug has been used by rapists and murderers.  That is why it is one of the drugs on laboratory sexual assault panels.  Amitriptyline not only has the ability to produce fast results in subduing a victim (when administered in medically unaccepted methods), but also is easily available, not only on the street but via online shopping.  The Coroner’s office and the Sheriff’s office are negligent in their duties as employees of the people when they choose to label a death by drugs as a “suicide” when there is no evidence to support drugs were taken willingly by the victim or with a particular intent.  “Morgan Ingram died from “amitriptyline intoxication” according to Kurtzman’s 2nd Postmortem Report, it listed her manner of death as suicide.  This is not definitive of “suicide” and the only conclusion for the Coroner’s office giving this new diagnosis of death to the public, months after Morgan’s death, is the Coroner, in an attempt to stop any further investigation by our family and friends decided to publicly discredit any information that was in direct disapproval or contradiction of his departments procedure and actions.  FACT: Morgan was murdered!  Now over 2 years after Morgan’s murder I will tell you all the biggest fact of all…neither one of the stated “manners of death” that the Coroner’s office has stated are true.  How do we know that you wonder?  Very easy, after the 1st most horrific day in our lives we had a 2nd horrific day – the day we learned that Morgan really did die “face down” as the Sheriff’s reports, and the PER’s stated…I was the first person to find her, and then Steve ran in her room, threw the blanket off her, and rolled her on her back in order to administer CPR – I found her lying on her right side, not face down, Steve saw her on her right side as well, we told the first responders this fact when asked, we also told the Sheriff’s and Detective Glassmire – they were all told this on that very morning before we were asked to leave our house as the crime scene tape was put up.  In fact I described in detail that she was lying on her right side, with the blanket only partially up her arm.  1/2 her bare arm and shoulder were exposed, I shook her shoulder and realized she was not responding.  I ran out of her room and yelled for Steve to come right away.  Steve ran in her room, with me leading the way, pulled her blanket off, which is when we both saw that her eyes were wide open, knees pulled slightly up, elbows bent and hands clenched.  Steve rolled her on her back and started CPR.  I also told everyone that I thought her body had looked “posed”.  The reason for this was that she was on the opposite side of the bed from where she usually slept in an unusual sleeping position.  I had never seen her sleep like that – little things like that you “know” more than think at the time.  We tried many times to have this statement corrected on her PER’s to reflect the correct position her body was found in, but to no avail.  We did not know the significance of this one thing at the time, but now we know it is huge piece of evidence!  We have now been told…NO – BODIES DO NOT MOVE ON THEIR OWN Morgan’s murderer posed her body after lividity had already set in, now that we have discovered this fact we had no choice but to accept the fact that there is no question that she was murdered.  How could she have died from natural causes or suicide if her body was moved after death?  It can’t happen – someone else was in her room and moved her body after she was already dead, what we didn’t release until recently is that the Garfield County Sheriff’s knew that very morning while they “investigated” her death scene after interviewing Steve and I, because we told them that we found her on her right side.  Are we furious?  You’d better believe it, and you should be as well.  Now find, arrest and convict her murderer – do not wait until there is another body Garfield County – you now have less than 90 days to remedy this situation! Steve and I have tried to engage the community and raise awareness of stalking and it’s consequences.  When laws are passed at the Federal and State level in order to protect victims of stalking from ending up like Morgan, and those laws are ignored by law enforcement what is the remedy?  We have known so many amazing law enforcement agents over the course of our lives – true unsung heroes, so we were not prepared to have been failed so miserably in Morgan’s case.  We want justice in order to create change.  Having great anti-stalking laws on the books is wonderful but what happens when they are not enforced?  How do regular citizens get help when law enforcement will not even speak with them, or answer their letters, or look at the evidence that they have uncovered and presented all on their own?  We will continue down this path of releasing ALL the facts in this case until Morgan’s case is opened, investigated and justice is served.  We will NEVER stop, and we will NEVER give up.  Morgan deserves justice, her family deserves closure, her friends want the truth to come out, and no one wants a predator to get away with murder. Morgan was a warrior and had conviction.

Never Giving Up Morgan

Never Giving Up Morgan

I will keep blogging with more, and more facts in the days to come…it is not pretty, and I wish I didn’t have to share this with the public (it literally makes me ill), but it seems like this is the only way.  The more people that know the TRUTH the better chance that there will be justice for Morgan, and others some day.  Please stay strong with us as this “mystery” that is no longer a “mystery” unfolds.  Thank you all for your support!