Morgan loved Buzz Lightyear…this year we gave Buzz to our grandchildren. We miss Morgan so much…we can still feel her presence and wish so much that she was still here with us as our family makes new memories. #Morganisneverforgotten #JusticeforMorgan #LoveLastsForever
First, I would like to send a huge thank you to all those who emailed me and posted comments to this blog this past year – your support has been invaluable to me. It’s hard for some people to understand that they can not “fix” a parent who has lost a child…but just being there, not forgetting their child’s name, and just being supportive, is one of the greatest gifts you can give to a grieving parent.
And, I would also like to express my apology for my lack of posting for some time now…time doesn’t get any easier, and Steve and I have been having an extremely emotional time with the holidays. I know that after a trauma, it’s normal for people to experience flashbacks (I have had many of those), anxiety (that goes without saying), hyper-vigilance (constantly), and grief (never ending).
Sadly, so many people experience trauma in their lives, and with that trauma they start to experience PTSD. According to mental health professionals, post-traumatic stress disorder (or PTSD) is a condition that results in a series of emotional and physical reactions in individuals who have either witnessed or experienced a traumatic event. Stalking is a traumatic experience, as well as losing someone you love. An unknown author said, “Grief is like a earthquake. The first one hits you and the world falls apart. Even after you put the world together again there are aftershocks, and you never really know when those will come.”
Being able to speak with a grief counselor over the years has been a huge help for Steve and I, but this type of trauma is not something that you ever get over…you don’t wake up one day and the pain is gone…no, the pain continues, so we have needed to learn how to deal with that pain.
I would like to share with you some grounding techniques that we have been given – techniques to can help control the symptoms experienced after a trauma. Again, not everyone’s trauma is the same, but many of the symptoms of trauma are.
Body Awareness: The body awareness technique with bring you into the here-and-now by directing your focus to sensations in the body. Pay special attention to the physical sensations created by each step.
I hope this helps a little – I will try to post some more ideas soon.
I love and miss Morgan so very much…still waiting and believing that a miracle will happen and Morgan will receive justice. #JusticeForMorgan
One-year-old Morgan, with her whole future ahead of her…then 19 years later that future was horrifically torn from her by her stalker(s), and where is her justice? No family should have to fight like this for justice…the pain of losing your child is enough to destroy any parent, then to have to fight an inept county, in order to get a real investigation, is just too much and should never happen. We need oversight – we need someone to look at these type of cases, with tons of evidence of murder, and say, “Okay, we need to review and investigate this evidence if we are ever going to be able to overturn the plausable false narrative & false manner of death.” We need someone to take responsibility for all the suspicious deaths, like Morgans, that were underinvestigated or just not investigated at all.
People ask me why a sheriff’s department would intentionally overlook evidence, even when it is brought to their attention. I wondered the same thing myself. Some people advised me that it was because that particular sheriff’s department was undertrained, lazy, incompetent, and much more…yes, that could be true in some cases. It could also be more serious and corrupt…sometimes bordering on a cover-up for different reasons. Figuring that out is always a challenge for co-victims. Again, why would a sworn law enforcement agency want to cover-up a murder? I have always respected and praised law enforcement, and still do, but not every agency out there has someone in charge of those amazing officers who is honest and law abiding themselves…it always comes down to who is in charge and sometimes you have to follow the money trail.
I did some digging, after speaking with so many other families who are in the same situation as us, who have also had experts who have determined their loved ones were murdered, but in those cases their sheriff refused to investigate too. In those cases the coroner determined the wrong manner of death, contrary to the evidence – easy way to get out of investigating a suspicious death. Murder investigations cost a lot of money – so, if they have a good excuse not to investigate, they don’t. In the cases where the coroner misrules on the manner of death, stating it was either, ‘Natural’ ‘Accidental’ or Suicide the sheriff does not have to investigate any evidence…they should still investigate, but that is not what usually happens. Then I read about the sheriff’s budget…a sheriff has total control on where his department’s money goes. If he/she does not want to spend it on a costly investigation into murder and he/she wants their county crime stats to reflect less crime, then they can choose not to investigate, no matter what is presented to them – so I thought, this is crazy!!!
But then after researching a little in the case of Sheriff Lou Valario, the sheriff in our county of Garfield, CO, there had not been ANY murders reflected in their crime stats for a whole 10 years before Morgan’s murder and including Morgan…nothing…hard to imagine, as Garfield County was the largest fracking county in Colorado at that time and drugs and violence were definitely happening there. Then I saw an article where Sheriff Vallario was boasting about having a lot of extra money left over in his budget, I believe the article mentioned around $100,000 (note: sheriffs get to keep whatever is not spent to use on whatever they feel is necessary for they agency (with no oversight…it is completely up to the sheriff) – in Vallario’s case it was to be used on things like a tank, etc. for his war against drugs…so much for rapes and murders…I don’t think he cares too much about that type of crime. I am pretty sure his macho and misogynistic self gets really excited at the idea of watching his men drive down the street in this huge armored BearCat…and as you can see in the article, the funds were already there waiting to be spent on something…not murder investigations, but a moment in history when a tank may be needed in a drug bust. https://www.aspentimes.com/news/garfield-county-eyes-armored-vehicle/ “It’s all an illusion,” said Jim Fisher, a former professor of criminal justice at Edinboro University and author of a book on SWAT teams. “The fact your police department just bought an armored vehicle does not make you safer. It’s going to make you poorer, because your taxes will go up to pay for training and maintenance.” Why should these small counties and towns to have tanks that someday could be used against their citizens? http://www.nbcnews.com/id/41912754/ns/technology_and_science-tech_and_gadgets/t/why-do-americas-police-need-armored-tank/#.XY4qIS2ZORs
Sheriffs have a career that affords them tons of power with practically no oversight from anyone, not voters, not other law enforcement or politicians, so corruption can be easy to get away with. Sheriffs are elected, not hired. Police Chiefs are hired, so they live under completely different rules. Then I was shocked to read, what Mirya Holman, a political scientist at Tulane University who studies sheriffs said, “A combination of large budgets and little information provides an environment where corruption is certainly possible, if not probable.”
“Because sheriffs control their own budgets, they can be a little more secret, or a lot more secret, than a police chief who has to answer to a city council or a city manager,” says Seth Stoughton, a former police officer who teaches at the University of South Carolina law school. “The problem of corruption has plagued sheriffs since their inception. Nowhere is this truer than when it comes to raising money on the side, hosting pig roasts and golf tournaments as fundraisers for the nonprofit foundations they’ve set up.” “Any outside foundations that are created — and I think we have four that were created by sheriffs down the line — we don’t even have the authority to audit those things,” says Joe Dill, a member of the Greenville County Council in South Carolina.
“In theory, sheriffs should be highly accountable, since they have to answer directly to voters. But in practice, while a police chief may be lucky to serve three years, it’s not unusual for a sheriff to be around for 20. There’s often meager interest in challenging a sheriff politically. In a small county, there may be only a few other people around with the minimum years of law enforcement experience required for the job. And with most counties dominated politically by one party or the other, sheriffs benefit from the limited attention voters pay to the post.”
With all that being said, even though no one will run against Sheriff Vallario, we will never give up fighting for justice for Morgan will continue to pursue all avenues to have her case investigated.