Life’s Purpose – a powerful force that allows you to “feel” your new path

Sometimes in tragedy we find our life’s purpose – the eye sheds a tear to find its focus.

rockspurposeThis quote by Robert Brault a free lance writer, really struck a cord in me.  Every single morning when I awake I feel a purpose…it’s hard to explain, but it is a good feeling, a feeling like I am here at this moment in time for a reason, and I know I can do what it is that I am suppose to do while I am still on this earth.
Of course there are times that I sit down and wonder, with pain in my heart, and tears in my eyes, “Why did my family have to go through all this tragedy? Why did our 20 year old daughter, a person that never hurt anyone in her life, never even stole a package of gum, why did she have to suffer?”  I don’t have an answer for any of those questions, but I do know that so far I have survived this horrific pain, and now every day I feel a very powerful sense of purpose in my life.  I have faith in myself that this purpose was given to me for a reason and I will charge forward with alI my strength to participate in the making of some very important changes in this world.

Somewhere Along the Journey Toward Justice for Morgan

Morgan posing on one of her Dads projects.

Morgan posing on one of her Dad’s functional art pieces.

Home from a whirlwind weekend, Steve and I find ourselves missing Morgan more than ever – but we have many blessings to share from our trip.  First we had a lovely couple of hours to just sit and talk as Vail Pass was shut down and a little snowstorm tried its best to quiet the evening.  We were on our way to the annual FOHVAMP (Families of Homicide Victims and Missing Persons) meeting and Morgan’s best friend was also stuck in the storm coming the other way over Vail Pass so it was a great time to text her and others I haven’t spoken with in such a long time.

Saturday at the meeting we had our chance to talk with Howard, the founder of FOHVAMP and thank him for all the help and support he has given us since Morgan’s death, it has meant so much and it is without doubt one of the few bright stars in an otherwise very dark time for us.  Howard always reminds me to focus on our health and well-being – to not let the murderer claim two more innocent lives, I speak about that often with Steve, and it has made a difference in our lives.

The singular most important thing I have to share from the meeting is the large presence of law enforcement.  Men and women with hearts as big as the Colorado skyline and their feelings for all the other victims like us right out on their sleeves for all to see.  It was so reassuring to be right there and witness first hand how our terribly tragic experience here was isolated to Garfield County, and in other parts of Colorado, Sheriffs and Police departments truly do care, very much, they give up their weekends to help victims such as Steve and I.  It was far beyond heartwarming.  It was reassurance that the entire world has not been flung into an uncontrolled orbit, that sanity really does still exist.

I listened to all the care, concern and advice of many officers down in the trenches every day, and have such great respect for all those whom I listened to, and even more so for those I had the opportunity to talk with.  I know all too well from what happened to Morgan about how difficult a task they face, and to meet with such unwavering dedication brought great hope for Steve and I.

Kim Goldman was there to share her own story of the horrific days she faced after her brother Ron Goldman (who was brutally murdered at the same time as Nicole Brown Simpson) and the ensuing media blitz that became a part of her life in the, “trial of the century.”  She shared her feeling of loss that was a part of so many there in the audience.

The experience was far too fresh and tender of a wound for us to stay till the end, but Steve and I have such unending appreciation and respect for what the FOHVAMP organization does for those who are suddenly in a position that most will never really understand, as Howard once told me a “club” that no one wants to be a part of.  Their website is

We were blessed with sunshine and a clear day on Sunday, and our afternoon was spent walking Wylah and Tessi down a trail along the river.

Now there is so much to do for Morgan and her memory.  We have new direction and some very promising marching orders.  Hope for us always leads us to the wish we could share that hope more fully with Morgan, and the realization that will never be.  Our path is the search for justice – and the rest of what was taken from Morgan – we, nor anyone else can ever restore.  We love and miss you so much honey…