This past Fall, on September 30th, I flew to Denver, CO in order to attend quite a few meetings – one of which was the FOHVAMP Annual Meeting and Cold Case Domestic Homicide Study, “The People VS George Ruibal,” on Saturday, October 1st.
After I landed and checked into my hotel I found out from a friend that this very evening, Friday, September 30th, was a Black Moon Eclipse! I was then told that Chani Nicholas said this new moon is in Libra – it is actually called the JUSTICE MOON because the sign for Libra is the “scales of justice”… this was a really a positive sign for me to hear on this evening before the FOHVAMP meeting. Here is the link to what she says about the new moon http://chaninicholas.com/2016/09/new-moon-in-libra-horoscopes-for-the-week-of-september-26th/
I was extremely honored to have been appointed the position as the West Coast Regional Director, representing FOHVAMP (Families of Homicide and Missing Persons, and OCCA (Organization of Cold Case Advocates). I was also very excited about connecting with some of the Colorado co-victims that I had been working with.
I met one of my friends from Northern California shortly after my plane landed. The other 2 in our group had had their flight delayed, so my friend and I left in an Uber for the hotel. After many hours enjoying the company of my friends and associates from the JS Intuitive Investigations Alliances, of which I am proud to announce that I am the Law Enforcement Investigations Case Manager, I excused myself and went up to my room to get some long needed rest.
I opened the curtains to my room and gazed out at the sites of Denver. I felt a twinge of sadness that I no longer lived in Colorado. Then I asked out loud, “Morgan, tomorrow’s a big day, please send me a sign.” After that I went to sleep. The next morning while getting ready to go to the meeting, I called Steve. This is when something very strange happened. My phone was set on speaker, after I clicked on Steve’s number I had laid it on the counter top on speaker phone – I heard it start to ring Steve’s number, then all of a sudden, out of the blue, it started playing the song by the Beatles “With a Little Help From My Friends.” It was not only playing the song, but it was playing it REALLY LOUD! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-uTocAlIyw
I had no idea how to turn it off – I was shocked, then all of a sudden it went silent and I heard Steve’s voice say, “Hello.” I told him what had just happened. I asked him if he knew why my cell phone just started playing that song, then all of a sudden stopped when he said hello. He laughed and said, “It was Morgan sending you a sign that everything that is about to unfold this weekend will be fine, and you will get by with a little help from your friends. Now why didn’t I realize that? It made perfect sense. My team from JS Intuitive Investigation Alliances had flown in with me to attend the meetings. Well I guess “signs” are always coming to us, but we don’t always recognize all of them. 🙂 After I “got it” I said thank you to Morgan out loud.
Toni Ingram, Jennifer Shaffer, Rob Wells, Michelle Eddins and Joyce Jackson
Having had a great meeting, earning my P.O.S.T. credits, talking with some amazing people that are doing amazing work in Colorado for the families of victims, and spending time with some of the co-vicitims that I have worked with over the years, left me feeling really wonderful by the end of the day. The next meeting was just as enlightening.
The following day was very special, as I watched and helped as my “Team” gave of their time (as always) to grieving parents. The time passed so fast that before I knew it it was time to head back to the airport. Taking one last look towards the snow-capped mountains, I felt a pull at my heart. I love Colorado, and yet until things change, I do not want to live there. Since my trip to October I remember my thoughts, and know it is up to me to make sure these changes take place. Yes, I know I have done a lot – I know I have helped many…and yet I have not done the last things Steve and I have known all along we would have to do…tell Morgan’s whole story. Yes, I have told her story, and it was painful, but not her whole story. We also held back information, always in the hope that the state of Colorado would open her investigation, but they didn’t. Not to say they didn’t try, but it didn’t happen. So now we keep climbing up higher and higher, knowing that eventually our voices will be heard. Cross your fingers that 2017 will be the year of justice for Morgan.
When it comes to capital murder, luckily there is no statute of limitation. Because justice is a RIGHT!
Morgan’s keyboard & Morgan’s sheet music – photo taken by Morgan Jennifer Ingram
Every afternoon I remember Morgan sitting down at her keyboard and playing her sheet music – it filled our house with such joy. Sometimes she would sing while playing and that was always an additional treat. I loved hearing her music, as well as her sweet, soft voice.
When Morgan was in elementary school she learned how to read sheet music. Then when she was in middle school she decided she wanted to teach herself how to play the piano, which she did. We bought her a keyboard and she practiced all the time. Eventually, when she was in high school, she asked if she could have lessons. We were blessed to know of an amazing piano and vocal coach. Morgan then took lessons for a few years and loved it. After that she just enjoyed coming home from school, sitting at her keyboard, and playing whatever sheet music that interested her.
This was just one of Morgan’s passions, and I was always so grateful to be able to hear such beautiful music being played in our home. Morgan also had many friends that were musicians, and when they came over it was so much fun to listen to them play on the keyboard, bongos and guitars…I loved it! And I miss it. I miss Morgan and everything that was Morgan. It hurts so much at times that I can’t even swallow. It’s hard to hold back the tears while my heart constricts and I try to put on a “good” face on for everyone around me. It’s not fair that she was taken from this world – but I know life isn’t always fair. I know bad things do happen to good people.
I have so many beautiful and happy memories of Morgan, even though she was only on this earth for such a short time. She was our youngest child and very loved. What I have learned from our family, as well as so many other families that have had their loved ones murdered…the horrible toll that it takes on the whole family, the parents, the siblings, the aunts and uncles, the nieces and nephews, the Godparents, the cousins, as well as close friends – the ripple effect goes on and on.
I have seen and heard the damage to the lives of everyone that loved the “victim” and when the murderer(s) are still at large, the damage continues. 😟
As per Scripps News there has been more than 211,000 homicides committed since 1980 that remain unsolved – a body count greater than the population of Des Moines, Iowa. The FBI estimates that the homicide clearance rate in 2012 was only 64 percent, down from 90 percent reported in 1965 when the government first reported statistics.
This is just not acceptable to me – and probably not to you either, so I have become extremely involved in moving towards a solution. Something that has a chance of solving more of these cases. I want to honor Morgan in everything I do in my life, so not only have I been working with other victims of stalking, I have been chosen to be the West Coast Director for FOHVAMP (Families of Homicide Victims and Missing Persons).
At this time the US does not have a national database in which law enforcement can share their cold case information. In an effort to assist in the creation of a national database FOHVAMP will announce a national initiative to create awareness of this pressing issue and to further advance resolution in cold case homicides and missing person cases nationwide. The database will provide information to law enforcement, as well as the public with the hope that someone/somewhere will recognize the persons described in the case descriptions and provide additional information that may help solve these cases. We intend to bring about social change using a new perspective.
I am also involved as the Case Manager for Law Enforcement Investigations for the JS Intuitive Investigation Alliances, working on missing person cases, cold cases and unresolved deaths. Working alongside families, law enforcement, the FBI, and the DEA helping with leads. Both of these organizations do work pro bono for the families, as well as law enforcement. I give my time to both of these organizations because justice is a right, and I want to be a part of a solution.
I know Morgan is also helping from the other side, so even though I may no longer hear her beautiful music I can “feel” her presence in everything I do – she is still guiding me, and I am eternally grateful.
It is already fall and October 1st is rapidly approaching – I would like to let everyone know that the FOHVAMP (Families of Homicide and Missing Persons) Annual Meeting is being held in Colorado on that date. If you, or anyone you know of, has had a loved one whose case has not yet been solved please read the invitation to this meeting, as attendance is available to anyone, whether or not your case is in Colorado. This would be a good venue for you to attend – it could prove to be invaluable to your case.
The main feature this year will be a Cold Case Study in which co victims will learn more about the complicated nature of how our system of justice works, and possibly glean ideas on how to better manage their own unresolved homicide or missing person cases.
It is such a HUGE undertaking to attempt to make our system better, but I believe education and communication for both the families, as well as law enforcement, will accomplish a lot when it comes to solving these type of cases, before they become cold. If there is no justice there can be no peace. Families need answers. Families need to know that everything that can possibly be done is being done, and that their loved one is not forgotten.
Personally, Steve & I have learned so much since the morning we found our youngest daughter Morgan dead. In our case, when it happened I went into a kind of shock. I started telling myself I was just dreaming, and that I will wake up any moment and she will still be alive. Then I started to beg for a reset button so that I could be transported to the day before she was gone forever. I wanted so desperately to hit that reset button and see her smiling face again, so I could take her far, far away, where evil couldn’t find her. You beg, you plead, and eventually you slip into what I call “survival mode.”
For me survival mode occurred when I realized it wasn’t a nightmare – it was really happening, our youngest daughter was dead. I knew there was no reset button, and I could never bring Morgan back. I understood that the searing pain I had in my heart was never going to go away – how could it? A piece of my heart had been cut out and was now missing forever. I had to evolve into some new version of myself – someone that could still move forward. While my mind was telling me there was no way I could ever go on with my life, my heart kept urging me to hang on. Oh, how hard moving forward is when you have lost a piece of your heart forever. I chose to move forward, as painful as that was. I felt it was the right choice. I had always taught Morgan, as well as our other two children, that giving up was not an option, so how could I just give up? No, that was not an option for me either. It took years for me to grow out of survival mode, to actually understanding my new life, and path that I am now following. I guess you could call this an act of surrendering to this new path instead of allowing my pain to become all consuming. I knew in my heart (not my mind) that there were things I could do, that we can all do, to make changes, big changes, so other families in the future won’t have to suffer as we have. FOHVAMP has always tried to facilitate these type of changes. They want to help these families, and that is why I support FOHVAMP.
The FOHVAMP Annual Meeting is a wonderful opportunity for law enforcement to hear how the families feel, and learn how the families can actually help the case. It is also a good time for the families to hear about some of the challenges law enforcement has and together maybe they can both find ways to “pool” their information and solve the cases much faster.
For detectives, looking to earn P.O.S.T. certification credits, you can register as well for a $40 class fee. In my capacity as the California Representative for OCCA (Organization of Cold Case Advocates) I would like you to know that all the co victims I have worked with over the years want the same thing…ANSWERS. The more all of us learn how to find those answers, the faster we can solve these cases.
FOHVAMP Annual Meeting
Saturday, October 1, 2016
9am to 4 pm
9350 Grant St
Thornton, CO 80229
Cold Case Study Co Sponsored By;
Center for Domestic Violence
This year’s Annual Meeting will be at the beautiful Brittany Hill Conference Center located in Thornton Colorado just off I-25 and Thornton Parkway. Our main feature this year will be a Cold Case Study in which co victims will learn more about the complicated nature of how our system of justice works, and possibly glean ideas on how to better manage their own unresolved homicide and missing person cases.
In the course of this Cold Case Homicide Study, we will hear from many of the actual key figures in the investigation such as District Attorney, Crime Lab Experts, Police detectives, victim advocates and co victim.
Through the course of this study, it is our sincere hope to bring out lessons learned from all of these individuals as to the need for good communication between Co Victims and law enforcement, between law enforcement agencies, District Attorney’s, Coroners, crime lab experts and others. Our first presentation was one where law enforcement and authorities involved in these very complicated and difficult investigations learned a great deal and were able to take those lessons learned and apply them to their own individual cases.
Admission will be $40.00, which includes a fabulous lunch and the conference center fee.
You can pay online ahead of time or you may pay at the door before the start of the meeting. Follow this link if you prefer to pay online: https://www.paypal.com/us/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_flow&SESSION=MYLUGF6HfKc_xBrV-nrmeUCUovIxn2u1QPwV8j2XCL0kXV9W62o3_HwAu3G&dispatch=5885d80a13c0db1f8e263663d3faee8d4fe1dd75ca3bd4f11d72275b28239088 remember to write under “purpose” Annual Meeting & your name, so you will be on the list of paid attendees.
And for all of you that have lost a child, here is a poem that explains a little about the “exclusive club” that none of us parents would have ever wanted to become a member of, and would never, ever wish upon another family.
WHEN I TELL YOU THAT MY HEART STILL HURTS,
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
WHEN I TELL YOU THAT MY EYES STILL CRY,
YOU LOOK THE OTHER WAY.
HOW COULD YOU KNOW THE PAIN I HAVE,
AND THE SORROW THAT I FEEL
FOR YOU HAVEN’T LOST A PRECIOUS CHILD
SO FOR YOU THIS ISN’T REAL.
I CAN’T SAY THAT I BLAME YOU
FOR I ONCE WAS JUST LIKE YOU
I WOULD TURN MY HEAD AND WALK AWAY
NOT KNOWING WHAT TO DO.
BUT NOW I KNOW, OH HOW I KNOW
WHAT ANOTHER MOTHER FEELS,
FOR ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE LOST YOUR CHILD,
OUR SHARED PAIN IS NOW SO REAL.
THIS PAINFUL LOSS THAT BEREAVED MOTHERS SHARE
BRINGS US CLOSER IN OUR HEARTS
NOW WHEN WE MEET AND SHARE OUR CHILD
WE ARE FRIENDS RIGHT FROM THE START.