Tag Archives: words from beyond

ARE YOU BEING STALKED?

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sunshiningthroughARE YOU BEING STALKED? 

The National Center for Victims of Crime www.ncvc.org/src list the following information.  I wish we had known about this while Morgan’s stalking was happening, so in order to raise awareness, in parenthesis I have written in my own notes to share with you.

 

 

 

Stalking is a series of actions that make you feel afraid or in danger

Stalking is serious, often violent, and can escalate over time

Stalking is a crime

You are not to blame for a stalkers behavior

Some things stalkers do:

  • Repeatedly call you, including hang-ups.
  • Follow you and show up wherever you are. (this did happen to Morgan, multiple times)
  • Send unwanted gifts, letters, cards, or e-mails.
  • Damage your home, car, or other property. (this happened to us after Morgan’s murder – her stalker stalked us)
  • Monitor your phone calls or computer use. (we believe this is how Morgan’s stalker always knew exactly where she was and when she would be home)
  • Use technology, like hidden camera or global positioning systems (GPS), to track where you go. (we believe this happened to Morgan)
  • Drive by or hang out at your home, school, or work. (Morgan’s stalker would drive by her on her way out of school and was constantly monitoring her at her home)
  • Threaten to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets. (Morgan was fearful for her puppy and we believe her stalker did try to poison her puppy, but we were able to intervene and save her)
  • Find out about you by using public records or on-line search services, hiring investigators, going through your garbage, or contacting friends, family, neighbors, or co-workers. (After Morgan’s murder we moved, but her stalker found us.  Steve went to roll the garbage cans down our long driveway the morning of the trash pick up, and noticed the trash can that had been full the night before was completely empty…these trash cans were not by the street, they were up a long driveway up against our house…someone took our trash)
  • Other actions that control, track, or frighten you. (Morgan’s stalker tapped and banged on her window to create fright, he pushed in the buttons on our front door lock to use the sound to create fright, he ran around our house setting off the motion lights and alarms over and over again right after the sheriffs would leave to let us know he was still there, he showed up in our backyard, standing and staring at her only 10 ft away, in the dark of the night, when she went to let her puppy out to go potty…terrifying her, he was on our roof, plus so many more things…stalkers try to take away your life in so many different ways)

Stalking is unpredictable and dangerous  

No two stalking situations are alike

There are no guarantees that what works for one person will work for another, yet you can take steps to increase your safety

Things you can do:

  • If you are in Immediate danger, call 911
  • Trust your Instincts.  Don’t downplay the danger.  If you feel you are unsafe, you probably are.
  • Take threats seriously.  Danger generally is higher when the stalker talks about suicide or murder, or when a victim tries to leave or end a relationship.
  • Contact a crisis hotline, victim services agency, or a domestic violence or rape crisis program.  They can help you devise a safety plan, give you information about local laws, refer you to other services, and weigh options such as seeking a protection order.
  • Develop a safety plan, including things like changing your routine, arranging a place to stay, and having a friend or relative go places with you.  Also, decide in advance what to do if the stalker shows up at your home, work, school, or somewhere else.  Tell people how they can help you.
  • Don’t communicate with the stalker or respond to attempts to contact you.
  • Keep evidence of the stalking.  When the stalker follows you or contacts you, write down the time, date, and place.  Keep e-mails, phone messages, letters, or notes.  Photograph anything of yours the stalker damages and any injuries the stalker causes.  Ask witnesses to write down what they saw.
  • Contact the police.  Every state has stalking laws.  The stalker may also have broken other laws by doing things like assaulting you or stealing or destroying property.
  • Consider getting a court order that tells the stalker to stay away from you.
  • Tell family, friends, roommates, and co-workers about the stalking and seek their support.  Tell security staff at your job or school.  Ask them to help watch out for your safety.

If you’re stalked you might: 

  • Feel fear of what the stalker will do.
  • Feel vulnerable, unsafe, and not know who to trust.
  • Feel anxious, irritable, impatient, or on edge.
  • Feel depressed, hopeless, overwhelmed, tearful, or angry.
  • Feel stressed, including having trouble concentrating, sleeping, or remembering things.
  • Have eating problems, such as appetite loss, forgetting to eat, or overeating.
  • Have flashbacks, disturbing thoughts, feelings, or memories.
  • Feel confused, frustrated, or isolated because other people don’t understand why you are afraid.

These are common reactions to being stalked.

If someone you know is being stalked, you can help.  Listen, show support.  Don’t blame the victim for the crime.  Remember that every situation is different, and allow the person being stalked to make choices about how to handle it.  Find someone you can talk to about the situation.  Take steps to ensure your own safety.  For more ideas on how you can help, call 1-800-FYI-CALL.

3.4 million people are stalked each year in the United States

Women are three times more likely to be stalked than men

To learn more about stalking, visit the Stalking Resource Center Web site www.cvc.org/src

The National Center For Victims of Crime can help you make a safety plan, learn more about your legal rights, and find help in your area.

1-800-FYI-CALL

(1-800-394-2255)

TTY 1-800-211-7996

Monday – Friday 8:30 a.m. – 8:30 p.m. ET

www.ncvc.org – [email protected]

If you are in immediate danger, call 911

It’s time for justice for all victims of crime!

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KelsieandMorganposterColorado cares and there will be justice for both Kelsie & Morgan.

Their time is coming because so many people want to see the right thing done, and we care because we don’t want to see these things continue to happen to others.

Today someone I have never met, and actually had never even spoken to before today helped us with Morgan’s case – I didn’t ask her to, but she said the most amazing thing, she said she did it because it was the right thing to do.  Can you imagine?  This is why I will never give up on humankind!

There are so many kind, compassionate, and moral people still residing in this world. Every time someone reminds me of that with their actions my heart rejoices.  I believe that every single day of our lives we are all given choices, and what we do with those choices define us.  Fear sometimes keeps us from making the choice we know we should make, but giving in to that fear is still making a choice.  Be brave, be fierce, always make the choice your heart, your intuition, your gut (whatever you want to call it) tells you is the right choice.

Please keep Kelsie & Morgan in your prayers.  Change can & will be made because of each and every one of you.  Change

– JUSTICE FOR MORGAN –

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JusticeforMorganposter3.1.2015

More and more people are spreading the word and joining in the groundswell of folks from all over the world that see the injustice in what happened to Morgan.  They are appalled that this could happen and they want to help right this wrong.

We are very grateful to everyone that has joined us in our quest for justice for Morgan.

Thanks to Dennis Crowley founder of Wheels of Hope for designing this poster and for spreading awareness.  I met Dennis through his active participation in support of the Pueblo, CO case of a missing young woman named Kelsie Jean Schelling missing since February 4, 2013 – please click on and listen to this very emotional YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfAFFHazsXk  Please keep Kelsie, as well as all the other missing loved ones in this country in your heart and thoughts…we have to continue all efforts to help bring them home.

I would also like to send a big thank you out to everyone that has stuck by us for over 3 years now – all of you out there that are TEAM MORGAN – we will see justice for Morgan, I promise you it’s coming.

I believe the walls of injustice and deceit will fall down and truth will reign.   It is amazing that after 3 years the family and friends of the criminal(s) still try to contact me to say that I am accusing innocent people and I should be ashamed of myself.  They spread lies and untruths about everything in Morgan’s case hoping that people will believe them instead of the real facts.  Instead of being upset about this I ask myself, “Why after so long are the same people trying so hard to keep Morgan’s case from being investigated?”  The only logical answer I can see is that they “know” if her case is actually opened and investigated there will be indictments, and the people they are trying to protect – the bad guys – will go down.

That’s the whole idea…justice for Morgan, JUSTICE FOR THE VICTIM!  Do any of these “others” that keep trying to derail her investigation really think that by just stating there is no evidence of foul play that there isn’t?  Sorry to rain on the parade, but there is evidence of foul play…a lot of evidence, although the only thing people really need to know is that there is irrefutable evidence that Morgan’s body was moved postmortem.  Meaning that her body was moved after she had already died.  It was moved and reposition (staged) and BODIES DO NOT MOVE ON THEIR OWN.  This alone screams foul play!

Morgan is gone, but not forgotten. Someone has gotten away with murder.  Morgan’s suspicious death was at the hand of another.  Morgan deserved to live and continue to touch the world.  I only hope now that through her tragedy she will still be able to continue to help people.  I believe “Colorado Cares” and will do what it needs to do in order to solve Morgan’s murder and protect it’s people.  Colorado has been very progressive in many ways, but the “bad guys” will always continue to try to find ways to get away with their crimes.  And that is where change comes in.  Change is always made out of persistence and conviction.

Accountability protocols must be put in place to make sure all links in the chain of command are in place, especially in rural areas.  Let us start this “ripple” effect with Morgan’s case to show the world what is needed at this very moment in time.

Good things come to those who believe, better things come to those who are patient, and the best things come to those who never give up.

We all believe, we will be patient (we are in this for the long haul), and we will never give up of that you can be certain.

Never believe that a few caring people can’t change the world.  For, indeed, that’s all who ever have  – Margaret Mead

 

Typologies of Stalkers – predicting who will be stalked…

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The first thing I want to say is you can not predict who is going to be stalked, or why they are being stalked.  I have heard from so many victims and survivors of stalking that have said people have suggested to them that maybe “they” did something wrong that made them a target.  WRONG!  It is never the victims fault.  It wasn’t what they were wearing, it wasn’t how friendly they were, it wasn’t anything that THEY need to change, it is the person that exhibits the stalking behavior – not the victim!

There are so many different types of stalkers and stalking situations.

Facts from Purcell et al 2001; Meloy & Boyd 2003.  There are 5 different typology classifications that are usually stated:

1. The rejected stalker

2. The resentful stalker

3. The intimacy seeker

4. The incompetent suitor

5. The predatory stalker

Personality disorders are predominate in the rejected stalker, erotomania can be the drive behind the resentful stalker, the intimacy seeker stalker is said to have paranoid disorders, the incompetent suitor often is an intellectually limited or a socially disabled individual, and the predatory stalker is believed to be a sexual deviant.

Female stalkers usually have higher rates of psychosis than men.

Stalking is a serious crime.  Risks associated with stalking:

1. Violence

2. Persistence

3. Recurrence

4. Psychosocial Damage

Adults between 18 and 29 years old are the primary targets of stalking, comprising 52% of all victims.  (Los Angeles Commission on Assaults Against Women website) 

Stalking is the most under reported crime in our nation.  Why?  Some victims and survivors have told me they don’t think they will be believed, some say they are embarrassed, others say they thought if they just ignored it then it would all go away…make no mistake your stalker won’t just go away.  Morgan thought if she ignored her stalker he would just go away – that never happened.  For stalkers it is most often a compulsion and they don’t stop.

Here are some statistics:

  • 83% of stalking incidents were NOT reported to police or campus law enforcement (Ibid).
  • 93.4% of victims confided in someone, most often a friend that they were being stalked (Ibid).
  • 26.7% of victims considered their victimization a personal matter, and did not report it to police.
  • Additionally, only “7% of victims contacted victim services, a shelter, or a helpline”(Baum, Catalano,& Rand, 2009).

I believe so much more awareness about the true facts about stalking is needed.  It is an extremely serious and life-changing crime.  I understand why people that have never been stalked don’t completely understand – in the beginning of Morgan’s stalking she didn’t understand why she was targeted, and we had no idea about how lethal stalking could be.

During Morgan’s stalking some people said, “Well maybe it’s just kids playing ding-dong-ditch, or just a joke.”  It wasn’t a joke, it was a constant frightening pattern of stalking.  She was regularly frightened, startled, surveilled, and followed.  Her life was taken from her.  It was not a kids game, it was a lethal game of cat and mouse and Morgan lost her life.

Our once bright and safe house became a dark fortress.  Our peaceful evenings were no longer peaceful – they had become terrifying, stressful, and exhausting.  The more precautions we took the more her stalker seemed to enjoy his game.  This is why the Colorado State Legislature urges early intervention before stalking escalates into something more serious.

We were told in the beginning not to share information about Morgan’s stalking with neighbors because the sheriffs believed her stalker was living in our neighborhood.  We know now that was not good advise – we should have shared the information immediately and often so others would become aware.  Also having neighbors who were watching out and reporting anything they saw would have been extremely helpful.  Rest assured as the sheriffs were called to our house on a regular basis the neighbors could see something was going on, so who were we kidding?  Community involvement is very important. Victims should tell everyone, family, friends, neighbors, classmates, teachers, employers, co-workers…everyone.

Here is a very powerful youtube that will give you a little more understanding about the danger of stalkers:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8Pc6GEUfZ0

 

 

 

Wow! 11,172 views to this blog in one day – yesterday…

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11118634_xXlupere_c I guess a lot of people really care about Morgan’s case and want to see her get justice.

There have been over 5 million views on this blog since I started it the summer of 2012.  The largest amount of people that ever viewed this blog in one day totaled 227,488 and that really blew me away.  It was by far the largest number we have ever seen in one day, and since then the numbers have stayed pretty consistent on average between 1,000 – 3,00 per day.

I am so excited that more and more people are reading her story, and awareness of how brutally harsh the reality of stalking is grows.  About how stalking turns your life upside down.  If one thing could come from the absolute horror that Morgan’s stalking and murder were I would want it to be awareness.  Awareness so that others do not suffer the same fate.  Morgan did nothing to deserve what happened to her, nor do the other victims of stalking, they all deserve the rights we all hold so dear.  I am determined to raise awareness about the seriousness of stalking so change is eventually made and victims can get the help they need, not only to just survive, but to get their lives back too.  Stalking victims have so many of their rights stripped away from them, and we all have to do a better job to help.

But yesterday as the number of views on the blog spiked up to 11,172 – there was something else that was going on at the same time.  While so many people were reading Morgan’s story, I was doing my best to help another victim of stalking.  There are decisions that need to be made by the victim and they are very tough decisions, each and every one of them holds the possibility of profoundly affecting their life.

For instance there is the subject of protection orders.  The idea is simple, once you know who your stalker is then go before a judge and request that your stalker can’t be anywhere you are.  If granted by the judge then the victim now has a little safety, as long as the stalker obeys the law and respects the order.  Only the stalker is already breaking the law repeatedly by stalking and what if they don’t respect the court order to stay away?  Worse yet what if the order to stay away only angers the stalker and the victim is in more danger than they were before?

This is what I mean by very tough decisions, every one of them.  In Morgan’s case we were asked to delay getting a protection order so the sheriffs could have a better chance of catching him.  Morgan wanted the protection order, but we decided to trust what we were being told so we did wait, only the wait became another wait, and then no protection order ever.  Now of course I feel like that was such a mistake. I know that protection orders can come with dangers of their own, but never getting one didn’t help Morgan either.  Tough decisions.  How much easier it would be if you were not being stalked at all, no stalker, no victim, no need to stress over a protection order.  In a perfect world wouldn’t that be nice?

Stalking victims truly lose so much of their simple everyday life.  Think of your cell phone, leaving anything like, “find my phone,” turned on in case you misplace your phone is out of the question, too dangerous because it could very easily be tracked by your stalker.  Social media, forget about it, no selfie pictures, no gushing about the restaurant, or your fabulous vacation, or even your flat tire.  Anything that gives away your location or patterns can be used against you by your stalker.

Please always remember – anyone at anytime can become a victim.  It is never the fault of the victim.  Although women are more likely to be stalked than men, anyone can be a victim of stalking, including college students, victims can be from any economic, ethnic, or religious group.  The National Center for Victims of Crime says that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 13 men will be victims of stalking in their lifetime.  Stalking is the most under reported crime in our nation at this time and it is serious… so change has to be made.

I just have to share this closing thought from the Legislature of Colorado in their decree on stalking.

The general assembly hereby recognizes the seriousness posed by stalking and adopts the provisions of this part 6 with the goal of encouraging and authorizing effective intervention before stalking can escalate into behavior that has even more serious consequences. 

Thank you all for supporting Morgan as well as sharing her story with others in order to raise awareness.  Morgan was taken from us by her stalker, but I want her story to be a reminder to everyone that stalking can be deadly, so always please take it seriously, especially if you should ever become a victim, and if you are not a victim, then reach out to  anyone whom you discover is a victim.  There might be some little thing you could do that would bring a measure of comfort to their lives.

Thank You…