ARE YOU BEING STALKED?

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sunshiningthroughARE YOU BEING STALKED? 

The National Center for Victims of Crime www.ncvc.org/src list the following information.  I wish we had known about this while Morgan’s stalking was happening, so in order to raise awareness, in parenthesis I have written in my own notes to share with you.

 

 

 

Stalking is a series of actions that make you feel afraid or in danger

Stalking is serious, often violent, and can escalate over time

Stalking is a crime

You are not to blame for a stalkers behavior

Some things stalkers do:

  • Repeatedly call you, including hang-ups.
  • Follow you and show up wherever you are. (this did happen to Morgan, multiple times)
  • Send unwanted gifts, letters, cards, or e-mails.
  • Damage your home, car, or other property. (this happened to us after Morgan’s murder – her stalker stalked us)
  • Monitor your phone calls or computer use. (we believe this is how Morgan’s stalker always knew exactly where she was and when she would be home)
  • Use technology, like hidden camera or global positioning systems (GPS), to track where you go. (we believe this happened to Morgan)
  • Drive by or hang out at your home, school, or work. (Morgan’s stalker would drive by her on her way out of school and was constantly monitoring her at her home)
  • Threaten to hurt you, your family, friends, or pets. (Morgan was fearful for her puppy and we believe her stalker did try to poison her puppy, but we were able to intervene and save her)
  • Find out about you by using public records or on-line search services, hiring investigators, going through your garbage, or contacting friends, family, neighbors, or co-workers. (After Morgan’s murder we moved, but her stalker found us.  Steve went to roll the garbage cans down our long driveway the morning of the trash pick up, and noticed the trash can that had been full the night before was completely empty…these trash cans were not by the street, they were up a long driveway up against our house…someone took our trash)
  • Other actions that control, track, or frighten you. (Morgan’s stalker tapped and banged on her window to create fright, he pushed in the buttons on our front door lock to use the sound to create fright, he ran around our house setting off the motion lights and alarms over and over again right after the sheriffs would leave to let us know he was still there, he showed up in our backyard, standing and staring at her only 10 ft away, in the dark of the night, when she went to let her puppy out to go potty…terrifying her, he was on our roof, plus so many more things…stalkers try to take away your life in so many different ways)

Stalking is unpredictable and dangerous  

No two stalking situations are alike

There are no guarantees that what works for one person will work for another, yet you can take steps to increase your safety

Things you can do:

  • If you are in Immediate danger, call 911
  • Trust your Instincts.  Don’t downplay the danger.  If you feel you are unsafe, you probably are.
  • Take threats seriously.  Danger generally is higher when the stalker talks about suicide or murder, or when a victim tries to leave or end a relationship.
  • Contact a crisis hotline, victim services agency, or a domestic violence or rape crisis program.  They can help you devise a safety plan, give you information about local laws, refer you to other services, and weigh options such as seeking a protection order.
  • Develop a safety plan, including things like changing your routine, arranging a place to stay, and having a friend or relative go places with you.  Also, decide in advance what to do if the stalker shows up at your home, work, school, or somewhere else.  Tell people how they can help you.
  • Don’t communicate with the stalker or respond to attempts to contact you.
  • Keep evidence of the stalking.  When the stalker follows you or contacts you, write down the time, date, and place.  Keep e-mails, phone messages, letters, or notes.  Photograph anything of yours the stalker damages and any injuries the stalker causes.  Ask witnesses to write down what they saw.
  • Contact the police.  Every state has stalking laws.  The stalker may also have broken other laws by doing things like assaulting you or stealing or destroying property.
  • Consider getting a court order that tells the stalker to stay away from you.
  • Tell family, friends, roommates, and co-workers about the stalking and seek their support.  Tell security staff at your job or school.  Ask them to help watch out for your safety.

If you’re stalked you might: 

  • Feel fear of what the stalker will do.
  • Feel vulnerable, unsafe, and not know who to trust.
  • Feel anxious, irritable, impatient, or on edge.
  • Feel depressed, hopeless, overwhelmed, tearful, or angry.
  • Feel stressed, including having trouble concentrating, sleeping, or remembering things.
  • Have eating problems, such as appetite loss, forgetting to eat, or overeating.
  • Have flashbacks, disturbing thoughts, feelings, or memories.
  • Feel confused, frustrated, or isolated because other people don’t understand why you are afraid.

These are common reactions to being stalked.

If someone you know is being stalked, you can help.  Listen, show support.  Don’t blame the victim for the crime.  Remember that every situation is different, and allow the person being stalked to make choices about how to handle it.  Find someone you can talk to about the situation.  Take steps to ensure your own safety.  For more ideas on how you can help, call 1-800-FYI-CALL.

3.4 million people are stalked each year in the United States

Women are three times more likely to be stalked than men

To learn more about stalking, visit the Stalking Resource Center Web site www.cvc.org/src

The National Center For Victims of Crime can help you make a safety plan, learn more about your legal rights, and find help in your area.

1-800-FYI-CALL

(1-800-394-2255)

TTY 1-800-211-7996

Monday – Friday 8:30 a.m. – 8:30 p.m. ET

www.ncvc.org – [email protected]

If you are in immediate danger, call 911