Morgan created this picture of our family. When she posted it she wrote, “Pictures that make me smile.”
I love it! Morgan’s picture is on the top left, her daddy, Steve, in the middle, I am on the top right, her brother Ryan is on the bottom left and her sister Kristin is on the lower right. This was and is our family. Death can not separate, or destroy us. We are, and always will be connected by unconditional love.
Morgan’s keyboard & Morgan’s sheet music – photo taken by Morgan Jennifer Ingram
Every afternoon I remember Morgan sitting down at her keyboard and playing her sheet music – it filled our house with such joy. Sometimes she would sing while playing and that was always an additional treat. I loved hearing her music, as well as her sweet, soft voice.
When Morgan was in elementary school she learned how to read sheet music. Then when she was in middle school she decided she wanted to teach herself how to play the piano, which she did. We bought her a keyboard and she practiced all the time. Eventually, when she was in high school, she asked if she could have lessons. We were blessed to know of an amazing piano and vocal coach. Morgan then took lessons for a few years and loved it. After that she just enjoyed coming home from school, sitting at her keyboard, and playing whatever sheet music that interested her.
This was just one of Morgan’s passions, and I was always so grateful to be able to hear such beautiful music being played in our home. Morgan also had many friends that were musicians, and when they came over it was so much fun to listen to them play on the keyboard, bongos and guitars…I loved it! And I miss it. I miss Morgan and everything that was Morgan. It hurts so much at times that I can’t even swallow. It’s hard to hold back the tears while my heart constricts and I try to put on a “good” face on for everyone around me. It’s not fair that she was taken from this world – but I know life isn’t always fair. I know bad things do happen to good people.
I have so many beautiful and happy memories of Morgan, even though she was only on this earth for such a short time. She was our youngest child and very loved. What I have learned from our family, as well as so many other families that have had their loved ones murdered…the horrible toll that it takes on the whole family, the parents, the siblings, the aunts and uncles, the nieces and nephews, the Godparents, the cousins, as well as close friends – the ripple effect goes on and on.
I have seen and heard the damage to the lives of everyone that loved the “victim” and when the murderer(s) are still at large, the damage continues. 😟
As per Scripps News there has been more than 211,000 homicides committed since 1980 that remain unsolved – a body count greater than the population of Des Moines, Iowa. The FBI estimates that the homicide clearance rate in 2012 was only 64 percent, down from 90 percent reported in 1965 when the government first reported statistics.
This is just not acceptable to me – and probably not to you either, so I have become extremely involved in moving towards a solution. Something that has a chance of solving more of these cases. I want to honor Morgan in everything I do in my life, so not only have I been working with other victims of stalking, I have been chosen to be the West Coast Director for FOHVAMP (Families of Homicide Victims and Missing Persons).
At this time the US does not have a national database in which law enforcement can share their cold case information. In an effort to assist in the creation of a national database FOHVAMP will announce a national initiative to create awareness of this pressing issue and to further advance resolution in cold case homicides and missing person cases nationwide. The database will provide information to law enforcement, as well as the public with the hope that someone/somewhere will recognize the persons described in the case descriptions and provide additional information that may help solve these cases. We intend to bring about social change using a new perspective.
I am also involved as the Case Manager for Law Enforcement Investigations for the JS Intuitive Investigation Alliances, working on missing person cases, cold cases and unresolved deaths. Working alongside families, law enforcement, the FBI, and the DEA helping with leads. Both of these organizations do work pro bono for the families, as well as law enforcement. I give my time to both of these organizations because justice is a right, and I want to be a part of a solution.
I know Morgan is also helping from the other side, so even though I may no longer hear her beautiful music I can “feel” her presence in everything I do – she is still guiding me, and I am eternally grateful.
In June 2011 Morgan scratched letters in the sand in a simple yet beautiful message to say that she missed us. She took this picture, while in Hawaii and texted it to Steve and I, just another reminder of Morgan’s warmth and love, and we were so happy to know that Morgan was thinking of us. She called a little later to say she wished we could be there with her. I still remember that call. I can even hear her voice as if it was only hours ago, while at the same time, it may just as well have been another lifetime.
Morgan was in Hawaii visiting her Godfather and his wife, seeing the sights, catching up on life, and she was absolutely beaming. Steve called it Morgie’s big adventure as he called her trip just before that, and the one just before that. The early summer 2011 had become a collection of big adventures for Morgie. Two trips of travel mixed with working for her, and this one just for fun. It took a lot of hard work and dedication, but Morgan had recovered enough to travel. She had completely rebuilt her health and between her older sister and her Godfather the 19 year old young woman was busy traveling on her own.
She was formulating plans for herself too, by then she was dreaming of, and determined to go to Stanford law school, after finishing a degree in English at CU Boulder, but before that she was after a certification as a yoga instructor so she could work at something she loved while going to school and have a fall back, just in case. The sky up there was the limit, Morgan had her whole life before her.
Missing Morgan
Four years and six months later we would scratch letters in the sand and tell her we missed her. Only there was no place to text the picture to. No number to call her to say we wished that she could be there with us. We could only look up to the heavens and say these things out loud feeling like the little angel had heard us and have the overwhelming feeling yet again that it just wasn’t fair. When Morgan scratched her letters in the sand she would see us in less than a week. Her face would light up and she would come running into the terminal when she saw us letting out her typical Morgan squeal of happiness and adding a big tight hug along with it. Our letters scratched in the sand brought nothing close to that feeling.
Love You Morgan
20 candles for Morgan’s twenty years of life. Her 20th year had only just begun, and the 20th candle we lit did not stay lit as long as the other candles – as you can see in the picture above.
Dear family and friends were with us to tell Morgan they missed her too on this fourth anniversary of her death, her murder. It’s been a long four years, years that have brought many changes to our lives. Morgan trusted and loved with all her heart, she shared her zeal for life with all those around her. Those now forced to miss her have only the precious memories of time spent with her. And the dreams of what she might be doing now. Morgan would want us to remember her loving us, and oh how we do.
We will celebrate your 24th birthday today Morgan…we will never forget. As we burn our candles for you we will be sending out beautiful and positive thoughts of love. You always were, and always will be my baby girl…remember that time in the car I told you that? And you laughed because you were no longer a baby? Well I told you then and I will tell you again now – no matter how old you get you will ALWAYS be my baby. And yes I know you will never be more than 20 because that is how old you were when you passed but for me every single one of your birthdays still matters.
So now I celebrate your 24th birthday without you here and yet I know you are still here, just not anywhere that we can see you. But be assured sweetheart your presence is felt. You are in the sunrise this morning, I hear your voice as the birds started their beautiful conversations amongst each other, I felt you in the early morning fog that lay over the grass, and I see you in the vast blue morning sky. You are always around.
Here are some beautiful candles that have already been lit for you by some very special people that love you.
Happy 22nd birthday Morgan…I know you can’t be here with us to celebrate this day – we were all so blessed that you came down to earth to become part of our family, and I do know you are all around us, and we also know that you know how much we all love you. Mom
We just found this recording that you did Morgan – the one of you and I when you were trying to get me to promise not to clean while you were going to be away for a while. I know you would get frustrated with me when I would clean the things you were planning on cleaning when you returned…I know you didn’t want me to be put out like that and when you were trying to get me to promise on tape we were both laughing so hard. I love hearing your voice on the recordings I found…it make me feel like I can still hear you.
– FRIENDS –
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And then Morgan’s Aunt & cousins sent her birthday wishes…Wishing Morgan a Happy Birthday!!!!! We love and miss you Auntie Ada, Jason , Lisa and little Clay
Picture taken in Steamboat Springs in August 2011 when we went with Morgan to visit during her Aunt & Uncle & cousin’s family reunion (we needed to get her away from the stalking that was keeping us all awake all night, and we all 3 really needed a good night’s sleep) – everyone brought their dogs we must have had at least 7 dogs all together, and everyone had so much fun, while Morgan ran around snapping pictures.