A Tree for Morgan…Remember Me Loving You

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Because of the love & kindness of the Rodden family Morgan has her own tree in Carbondale, CO.  It overlooks a wonderful dog park where her puppy Wylah used to play.  This tree was chosen and planted by this wonderful family as a beautiful reminder of Morgan and I know Morgan would be very grateful.

As it grows and produces more shade to all those who stand under it, along with their fur babies, I hope they take a moment and read the plaque that is attached to the tree.  It says, “Remember Me Loving You.”  Morgan Ingram 8.16.1991 – 12.2.2011.  This is a saying that Morgan loved.  Morgan never missed an opportunity to express her feelings – she was very open and honest with everyone.  A day never went by without her verbalizing her love.  You never know when it will be too late to tell someone you love exactly how you feel, but I know that is not something Morgan would have ever needed to worry about – she always said I love you early and often.

I felt it was time to finally post this picture of the Morgan tree.  I am so very grateful to have such loving, caring people in our lives.  Some of which I had never even met until after Morgan’s murder.  Sometimes I feel people like these should be called earth angels. They appear to us when we feel we can no longer go on.  They lift us up with their light and joy and they give us a glimpse of happiness one more time, if only for a moment.  Because of people like this you know you must go on, because with every new day the sun still rises and the leaves on the trees glisten with the fresh morning dew.  Nothing stops.  My whole world will never be the same without Morgan, but the world still goes on.  And every day is a new day in which you can make a difference in this world.  A day that I can honor my child with my love and through my actions.

This coming Sunday, August 16th will be Morgan’s birthday…she would have been 24 years old.  At the beginning of August 2011 her life had changed forever – she had a stalker.  She had no idea at that time who it was, and she was so very frightened.  Because of her stalker(s) that birthday, 4 years ago this coming Sunday, ended up being Morgan’s very last birthday on this earth – she just turned 20.  We talked about where she wanted to spend her next birthday – the big 21.  She said Las Vegas wasn’t really her thing and she was thinking that maybe we could all take a trip to Santa Fe, New Mexico to celebrate.  She loved the art galleries and the people there.  I told her she had a whole year to think about it and whatever she decided would be great.  How could I have ever known we would never have a chance to see her turn 21?

Every day this week as I count down to this coming Sunday I get a little sadder, a little weepier, and my heart aches.  Yet at the same time I feel Morgan’s spirit very, very close.  When I feel Morgan close by it always brings a smile to my face…I love her so much!  This Sunday we will burn a candle for Morgan, our family will cry and laugh and remember all the wonderful moments we were grateful for.  Because of Morgan I promise to never ever take a single day for granted.

Keep the ones you love close, tell them you love them early and often.  Make lots of memories with them and always make them your number one priority in life…because they are.

If you get a chance this coming Sunday, August 16th please burn a candle for Morgan and pray that her investigation is opened and justice is served.   Pray that state officials in Colorado care enough to do the right thing for Morgan, as well as all the other victims of stalking, murder and missing persons.   Your actions, thoughts and prayers really do matter.  Much love to you all.

Hello to Fall 2014 – Tonight is the Autumn Equinox

fallmorgantessiAt 10:29 pm EDT tonight the Earth will have equal amounts of light and darkness – day and night are balanced to nearly 12 hours each all over the world, tonight is called the beginning of Fall and the Autumn Equinox.  Meteorologically speaking, Autumn began on Sept. 1st, but the Autumnal Equinox marks the astronomical start to the Fall season.

In some places like Colorado the leaves are starting to change, there is a briskness in the air, and I must admit this always was my favorite time of the year, and I know Morgan loved it as well.  Now nightfall will come sooner – in 2011 that was not a good thing for us.

Today is a day of reflection for me.  I have been thinking back to the Fall of 2011 when Morgan’s stalking had been ongoing since August 2nd, but that Fall we had no idea that her stalking would end her life in just a few short months.  I remember at that time Morgan was determined not to let the actions of her stalker keep her from the things she loved.  She was frightened, and cautious, but determined not to allow anyone to take her love of life away.  She was enjoying school, ballet, photography and being with her friends.  At that time her stalking terror was confined to our house – she felt much safer away from home.  With nightfall coming earlier her bright days of feeling safe were now being cut shorter with the Fall Equinox.

My days of beating myself up for not being able to protect my daughter are over.  They were very painful days, but I now realize that it was something that I needed to go through in order to finally come to the realization that it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t her father’s fault, or her siblings fault, or her friends fault that we couldn’t protect her – it was the fault of the person that took her life.  We all wanted to protect her – we all loved Morgan so much.

I now realize that we all make choices in our lives, and when someone chooses to do evil things to another, that is their choice and they are the ones, the only ones, that should carry that burden.  The night Morgan was murdered it was the perfect storm…everything went wrong for Morgan.  She didn’t want to sleep at home, she was scared.  She tried to sleep at a friends house, and when that didn’t work she tried to have another friend sleep over, and when that didn’t work she came home alone.

Steve and I were so exhausted we both made huge mistakes. Earlier in the evening we were all gone out of the house between 6:00 – 8:00 pm.  I shut the dogs up in the laundry room, so it was possible that a person could have come into our home while we were away, and hid out until all were asleep (we didn’t leave the dogs loose like we usually did, because Morgan’s puppy had just ripped up a stuffed animal), and when we returned home Steve turned off the driveway motion alarm, because every time the sheriff’s cruisers drove by it would go off and scare everyone awake in the middle of the night.

After Morgan went to sleep that night we closed the door to our room instead of leaving it open – we always left it open so our dog could guard the whole house (even though she wasn’t much of a guard dog, at least we hoped she could alert us if anything happened.)  Steve and I both took sleeping pills to insure a good nights sleep – normally we took turns, so one of us could be on alert.  Steve was always moving around the location of various motion detectors, and that day he had taken the detector from the back patio to the garage in order to paint it, so it would be more concealed…unfortunately this left the back of our house more accessible that night. And that night Morgan hadn’t managed to get a friend to sleep over, so she was now sleeping in her room alone, on the the other end of our house, approximately 55 feet away from us…much too far away, with both doors closed we couldn’t hear anything.  We thought because she had a panic/alarm button on her nightstand, as well as her cell phone in bed with her, that she could alert us if anything was wrong – she had used both many times.  This was not a good plan because obviously if she were asleep and someone came in her room they could have easily overpowered her in her before she could send a text from her phone of push her panic button…and that night someone tore her panic button off it’s mount and tossed it on the floor away from her bed, and as for her cell phone it was found the next morning under her bathroom door…I now wish we had had cameras inside our home, along with motion alarms inside our home, among so many other regrets.  I just really want others to know what went wrong for us – it may help them somewhere down the line to be more aware than we were of what could possibly happen.  A stalker is always watching – that’s what they do, and they can always wait for that one perfect moment to strike, while you on the other hand have to be hyper-vigilent 24/7.

fallredleavesSo again I will repeat that Fall is a beautiful time of the year, and nature has absolutely nothing to do with Morgan’s murder – only the person that made the choice to kill her, and steal her from this world.  I believe someday there will be justice for Morgan, and her murderer will receive his punishment, along with anyone who assisted or covered for him…just like Morgan’s murderer made a choice, anyone that knows what he did, and doesn’t come forward is just as responsible, and that is a choice that they are making.  It’s not too late for people that have information to come forward…it’s just too late for the one responsible for taking Morgan’s life.

He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it 

Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

 

 

Happy Birthday Morgan – we didn’t forget this would have been your 22nd birthday sweetheart!

Happy 22nd birthday Morgan…I know you can’t be here with us to celebrate this day – we were all so blessed that you came down to earth to become part of our family, and I do know you are all around us, and we also know that you know how much we all love you. Mom

We just found this recording that you did Morgan – the one of you and I when you were trying to get me to promise not to clean while you were going to be away for a while. I know you would get frustrated with me when I would clean the things you were planning on cleaning when you returned…I know you didn’t want me to be put out like that and when you were trying to get me to promise on tape we were both laughing so hard. I love hearing your voice on the recordings I found…it make me feel like I can still hear you.

Morgansbirthday hammock

Morgan lying on her birthday hammock (on her last birthday in August 2011).  We miss you Morgan more than words can express, we know you are in a beautiful place now, we feel you all around us, but it’s so hard not to squeeze your hand, or kiss your cheek.  Please know we are all thinking about you today and love you so very much
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Morgan’s best friend wrote to Morgan this morning: Oh Mamma Bear, this is the second birthday to pass without you. I miss you so much, not a day goes by that you do not come to my mind and heart. You are my soul twin, and I know we will meet again. Today is for you lovie  ps a dream birthday visit/ romp/ tea party would not be objected tonight
- FRIENDS -

– FRIENDS –

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And then Morgan’s Aunt & cousins sent her birthday wishes…Wishing Morgan a Happy Birthday!!!!! We love and miss you Auntie Ada, Jason , Lisa and little Clay

Picture taken in Steamboat Springs in August 2011 when we went with Morgan to visit during her Aunt & Uncle & cousin’s family reunion (we needed to get her away from the stalking that was keeping us all awake all night, and we all 3 really needed a good night’s sleep) – everyone brought their dogs we must have had at least 7 dogs all together, and everyone had so much fun, while Morgan ran around snapping pictures.Steamboatreunion

A Lack of Expertise or Something More Sinister?

Bug on flowers

Morgan would sit an wait for hours, to capture the image. Investigators owed her the same respect.

In some cases a simple lacking of knowledge would be better than none at all.  But just what do I mean by that?  I’m focusing on only one thing – the training of the Garfield Sheriffs to carry out a specific task.  A task I wasn’t aware they took on in its entirety.  It is very specialized and training intensive.  Months ago, a typical scenario for another law enforcement agency was explained to Steve and I, so we could identify similarities and alas, there were none.

I am talking about the proper processing of a death scene.  The single most important element to an eventual arrest and conviction of the criminal.  There is undoubtedly no one best way to do it, but then there would certainly be a minimum, a bare minimum.  I researched once into the Deputy Coroner of the Garfield County, Where our daughter Morgan was killed, and then her death scene investigation was conducted.

Before it was so upsetting to discover the fact that just a little to the west, in the next county over, in Mesa County, there is a different coroner naturally.  But this coroner is himself a medical doctor and requires every deputy coroner to complete two different certifications (not so in the county where Morgan was murdered):

1. Investigator to be a member in the Colorado Coroner’s Association (CCA). The CCA sets standards for minimum training to become a member and requires continuing education to maintain membership.

2. The American Board of Medicolegal Death Investigators (ABMDI) ® is a voluntary national, not-for-profit, independent professional certification board that has been established to promote the highest standards of practice for medicolegal death investigators.

This is the minimum in the adjoining Colorado county.  The Garfield County Coroner is not a doctor, which is not required, he was an owner of the funeral home and legally only needed a High School diploma, and the Deputy Coroner at Morgan’s death scene was the funeral home manager at Farnum-Holt Funeral Home and had none of the training required by Mesa County – none. The Deputy Coroner does not need to meet any requirements, not even a High School diploma, but he is responsible for certain filings, etc., which …this is who showed up at Morgan’s crime scene to determine if there was any foul play.  Thomas Walton, the then Garfield County Deputy Coroner – after all our due diligence, collecting all the state documents, we now know he had no training, and did none of the paperwork required for this position, making him legally not a deputy coroner.  He was the one who took the crime scene photos we have, never took a body temp, and said he got all his “facts” from the sheriffs, he never interviewed us.  He later said he could not make any changes on Morgan’s PER unless instructed by Detective Glassmire, because that is where he got all his information. The law clearly shows this is not what should be done.

But I was not there when he wrote up his “Autopsy Request” in which his “facts” were all wrong, and now as  read the unattended death report for Morgan, I find that Thomas Walton – Chief Deputy Coroner of Garfield County – didn’t really do anything, the sheriffs by their recounting, were the ones involved.  But they have no certification in death scenes either!  Is this a search for the truth?  Is this how you would want a suspicious death investigated?  Colorado law clearly states this is not how you do it – but that didn’t stop them in Morgan’s case.

In fact, in the neighboring county, that I refer to, they actually have standards, and the law enforcement officers are not to touch the body, maybe because they are not trained!  There were observations made the Garfield County Sheriffs investigators that are completely wrong and contradict each other, maybe, once again, because they have no training in death scene investigating.  And before the crime scene photos were even taken (maybe before the deputy corner even arrived) someone had illegally tried to close Morgan’s eye, wiped blood off her face, covered her up with a towel, and many other things that they are NEVER supposed to do in a suspicious death investigation.  Incompetence, inadequate investigation, “bumbling” like the DA said, or something more sinister?

So as I look at this more globally, it is a sad state of affairs.  For any death in Garfield County at that time, it was likely going to be presided over by a funeral home manager from Farnum-Holt Funeral Home, with no real training in death scene investigation.  He does not even belong there!  And then doing the actual hands on investigating will be sheriff’s officers with no certification in death scene investigation.  Did the honorable District Attorney even know this when she said that the Garfield County Sheriff’s Department completely botched the investigation?

In Mesa County, Colorado, deputy coroners have two forms of certification in death scene investigation, ongoing education, and law enforcement – look but don’t touch, you are not trained.  In Garfield County, none of the above.  Does apprehending and convicting the criminals mean anything here?  Is it just an after thought?  Not really a serious consideration?  Or is it just women they do this to?

Morgan’s death scene investigation was no investigation at all as far as I can see.  The observations made are contradicted by the contracted forensic pathologist whom none of the experts that have looked over Morgan’s case agree with so I’m left to conclude they are most likely both incorrect.  Is this how my daughter’s investigation should have been conducted?  Untrained, no trained, little training, and please don’t give me an excuse about on-the-job-training.  Experience by doing it with no training a few times, learn from your mistakes.  It is unbelievable to me!  Morgan deserved far more than that.

We can’t bring Morgan back, and we can’t have a do over on her investigation.  What I really want to know is what do we tell he next family and their girl.  I truly and very deeply worry for them now.

There are Guardian Angels on Earth, and some of them do wear badges…stalkers beware – things are changing.

Just tonight I received an anonymous email through the website.  I read it twice and cried, and cried.  The tears I shed were not tears sadness, but tears of joy, and happiness. And my heart felt as though it grew larger at the same time.  I have not copied the whole email out of privacy for the writer, but I just had to share some of it with you, because I have always put my trust in Law Enforcement and I have felt so let down and angry this time because I told Morgan, towards the end when she had given up on them, that they were still trying to help catch her stalker and to keep the faith – she listened to me, and ended up dead.  I do believe there are great Law Enforcement Officers out there that really do want to help save  people and now I know they are just as upset about the way Morgan’s felony stalking and murder was handled as we are.  So before I launch into the 2nd half of this blog, which will be about the investigation, or lack there of, I just want to show you something from a Detective that really does care – this is the type of warrior and hero I wish Morgan had watching over her before it was too late.

snowyroad

I continue to read your blog and more and more I become angry at the way this was handled.  It sickens me.  It was (and is) neither professional nor moral.  I dearly wish that I could have been the Detective assigned to your case.  I have a very powerful work ethic and I absolutely abhor blatant disregard of victim’s rights.  Your plight has done nothing but solidify that strongly held belief.  I once raised my right hand and swore to defend this great country from all enemies, both foreign and domestic – with my life if need be.  I again raised my right hand and swore before God to uphold the Constitution and laws in the performance of my Law Enforcement duties and to protect the innocent.  I became the Sheepdog.  I became the silent protector in the night.  A shield of hope.  I became the one thing that violent criminals fear:  The one person who can and will visit the same terror and violence unto them that they cause their victims.  Everyday prior to beginning work, I tell myself that the Wolves will not prevail.  I will be that wall that stands between them and the innocent.  In order to continue their terror, in order to continue their violence, they will have to go through me first, for that is my sworn oath.

Please take heart in one simple fact:  There are many, many professionals in Law Enforcement that feel the same way I do.  It is not an easy job, but none of us pursued this profession because it was easy (or to get rich),  We do this because we are inherently good people and wish to do nothing more than protect those innocents that need it.  Do not lose Hope nor Heart, for the truth is a blinding light that has a way of seeping out of the deepest, darkest night.  Justice will prevail, of that I am certain.  Keep hold of your convictions and fight the good fight.  Your struggles have had an immediate impact on the citizens that I am in charge of keeping safe.  I will continue to work feverishly to protect them and swear that what has happened in your situation – will NEVER happen on my watch.  There are Guardian Angels on Earth, and some of us wear badges.

Peace to you and your family.