Tag Archives: trinity cross

A Mother’s Day Wish & A Picture From Morgan

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HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL THE WONDERFUL MOTHERS OUT THERE

Being a mother is the most fulfilling and gratifying thing in the world.  For me there have been so many wonderful moments, along with some really awful moments, but I would always choose being a mother. The overwhelming love you receive when you look into your child’s eyes can never be duplicated by any other means. And that love can never be taken away… not by anyone.

Yesterday was a hard day for me.  It was a day of tears.  I told myself it was okay to hurt.  Then while I was out and about, trying to move forward I looked over at a woman with a baby stroller.  My eyes immediately looked into the stroller and this adorable baby was beaming up at it’s mother, with a big smile on her face.  Her eyes were sparkling with an immense amount of love – you could just see it from where I was standing.  My heart filled with love remembering that look.  It was a BIG reminder of how special it is to be a mother and a reminder that my heart does still feel, and see, all the true love I have been blessed to be surrounded with.

A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.

 Author: Agatha Christie

I miss Morgan every single day… she was my baby, my best friend, and she grounded me.  Morgan would always jokingly lament how Steve and I were both water signs, while she was a fire sign. She would go on to explain all our frailities by being water signs, and she was usually right on.  Morgan would then laugh and tell us we were lucky because all 3 of our children were not water signs so they gave us some very needed grounding.

MorganmothersdayMorgan took this picture. She was always my little ballerina.  On her first birthday she took off walking on her own, and it was straight up on her tippy toes.  Most of the time when I saw her walking anywhere she usually started out on her toes.  In this picture there is a little “coupon” that she made for me one Mother’s Day.  She actually made 6 coupons and gave them to me as a Mother’s Day present.  Morgan almost always took the time to make every  gift she gave, making every one so extra special!  She always gave from her heart.  Every one of these “coupons” she gave me was for something she wanted do for me… she wanted me to “redeem” them for a dinner cooked by her, or a day together down at the ranch, just little things like that, but all the things she knew would make my day just that much brighter.  That was Morgan and I still have some of these coupons to look at – I never got a chance to redeem them all.  Now I can hold them in my hands and remember all the love she constantly gave.

Life without Morgan has been indescribable. The pain can be so very deep, yet at the same time my memories of her are so wonderful that they fill my heart with joy. It can all be very bittersweet.  I’m sure this will sound strange to most of you that have never lost a child, but up until recently I could not even bring myself to buy any of Morgan’s favorite items at the grocery store. It has been over 3 years and while we shared so many favorites, even looking at them in the grocery store caused me to cry, so there was no way I could actually buy them. Over the holidays it was pomegranates…her fav, but I couldn’t even look at them.  Recently I finally broke down and bought raspberry Noosa yogurt, another one of her favorites.  I sat outside and ate it very slowly, while looking at the ocean.  I savored every bite while thinking about Morgan and I was actually able to smile remembering how much she liked eating that yogurt. I also knew she was happy that I was looking at the ocean while eating the yogurt and thinking about her.  That probably sounds strange too, but even though Morgan was only 20 years old she told me her dream was to get her law degree from Stanford, and after a career in law she wanted to retire in northern California overlooking the ocean.  So while I was looking at the ocean I could “feel” Morgan right next to me and it felt peaceful and joyful.

Today I feel blessed not only to have such love from my 2 older children, as well as my 2 grandchildren, but I am also so grateful that I can still feel immense amounts of love from Morgan. Yes, I still cry every single day wishing my youngest daughter was still sitting next to me, but I don’t cry for very long – I always get a “blast” of warm love that curses through my body and fills me with so much love that I have no choice but to stop crying every single time I feel it.  This is another hard thing to try and verbalize to others, but I just wanted to try to express what happens to me, and how I know Morgan is still close by.  Mothers always remain connected to their children, the greatest gift there could ever be…

Sara Bareilles – Her Song Brave Keeps Playing In My Head…

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For 2 days straight I keep hearing the song BRAVE by Sara Bareilles play over & over again in my mind.  I wake up to the words, I hear it during the day, and I wonder, what is this supposed to mean, what is it trying to tell me?

I always feel like I am speaking out, but maybe Steve & I haven’t fought hard enough…there are so many things that we know about Morgan’s case (starting with her felony stalking) that people have lied about and we just weren’t capable in our emotional state to speak out and tell everyone all the details – it would mean reliving them over and over again.

I know I have to be Morgan’s voice now – I know I need to go back to the beginning and show all the things that happened to her and how they were all so WRONG.  Just like in so many other cases across this nation there are people that know what happened to Morgan, as well as who was involved in Morgan’s attack & murder, and unless they come forward with that information they are considered accomplices in the eyes of the law.

Morgan was a loving and giving person & she does not deserve to have people she was so kind to over the years keep critical information to themselves…they need to be brave and do the right thing.  They need to speak up.  They can stay anonymous when they call Northern Colorado Crime Stoppers:

Anyone with information regarding this crime is asked to contact Northern Colorado Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS (8477); Texting Tips – Text“NOCO plus your message” to 274637 (CRIMES), or to submit a tip online go to www.nococrimestoppers.com. You may be eligible for a reward.

silence

Someone Knows What Happened to 14 Year Old Ronda Blaylock

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rhonda

http://www.hlntv.com/article/2015/04/01/ronda-blaylock-cold-case-murder-reopened-dna-evidence

This is great news…we need law enforcement to continue to fight for justice in cold cases. Everyone deserves justice – the older cases have been waiting for justice a long time.

The Justice for Lisa Thomas Facebook post said, “We are coming for you,” Sheriff Atkinson warned the killer, who he believes is still alive.

Ronda’s getting a task force!  With multiple agencies involved!

“Renewed attention in the case occurred shortly after police received a call from Rhonda’s mother asking law enforcement about the status of her daughter’s murder investigation.

Within days of receiving the call, authorities said they received new developments in the case, which they cannot yet release.

That information led to the development of a task force consisting of multiple police agencies to investigate the murder, police said. ”

Apparently, people who were young at the time of Ronda’s murder have realized what is important in life now that they are adults:

“Police said witnesses in the initial investigation have been re-interviewed and subsequently provided information that was not previously shared with law enforcement. The witnesses were young when the murder occurred and feared they would get in trouble with their parents or with police, officials said. Authorities added that the witnesses did not realize the importance or relevance of pieces of information they knew. Some didn’t even know Ronda’s case was still open, police said.

“It is also understandable and difficult to believe that a friend or loved one was involved in a violent crime,” Sheriff Atkinson added. ”

We wish Ronda’s family the best in getting her case solved – like LIsa’s family they have been waiting way too long for justice for their relative.

I am so happy for Ronda’s family & I hope Morgan’s case gets opened & Rhonda & Morgan both get justice…keep up the good thoughts.

 

Kelsie Schelling Case…A New Revised Lawsuit

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KelsieIt is so extremely sad as well as WRONG that Kelsie’s family, along with so many other families need to serve a lawsuit in order to try to get justice for their loved one.  When there is evidence of foul play there are so many organizations that the police can ask for help with the forensics, videos, all types of criminal evidence in order to have a solid case and make an arrest, and these organization help law enforcement for free…so what am I missing here?  It is beyond me that the police do not utilize these organizations when a family is grieving for answers and justice.  Leaving the only thing left in their power which is a civil lawsuit.

Kelsey’s family posted today a copy of their revised lawsuit: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6slmuQoMVK3QkkzZUwxWmJERHM/view
Please click on this link to read the lawsuit. We ask for a prayer that the lawsuit leads to bringing Kelsie and Kadrie home and justice

And here is a link to the article by KOAA5 News:

http://www.koaa.com/story/28734058/news5-investigates-kelsie-schellings-family-files-amended-lawsuit-against-the-city-of-pueblo-and-police-department

 

 

 

Easter Wish With Much Love

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heartegg

Morgan painted this Easter egg the night before her last Easter day.  She LOVED coloring eggs and eating Easter brunch with everyone.  Especially because she LOVED Eggs Benedict and we always made sure we either made that for Easter brunch or her next all time favorite which was Macadamia Nut French Toast…both were always sure to bring a smile.

I wanted to post this today in order to wish you all much love & togetherness with your families, along with abundant peace in your lives.  The most important thing Morgan taught us was to always appreciate every day you have on this earth, as though it could be our last.

Morgan used to tell us, almost on a daily basis, that she loved us, and she always said I love you before she got off a phone call with us, or before she went to bed at night.  Her older brother, sister, cousin & our grandchildren are still like that – they always tell us, “I love you” every time we say goodbye.  At times it feels as though my heart is going to burst – when you have that much love around you then no matter what challenges you face in life you can make it through.

cropped-missyou.jpgWhen Morgan was on her last vacation without us in Hawaii, with her Godfather & Godmother, she sent me a text with this picture of, “I Miss You” written in the sand.  I was surprised because I knew she was having such a great time & I thought she was probably happy to be able to go on a vacation without us this time.  She was/is such a loving soul, and I am extremely proud to have been her mother – I feel very blessed.

Steve & I just ended a very wonderful week – a week spent with both of our grandchildren.  We all had so much fun just being together, then with lot’s of hugs and words of love we said goodbye.  We had spent time outdoors in nature, loved playing in the ocean, cooking together in the kitchen, going to the park, swimming in the pool, taking pictures and going on a very special Easter egg hunt…all the same things we used to enjoy with Morgan while she was growing up.  Of course it was bittersweet – Steve & I kept catching each other with tears in our eyes knowing we will never again get to do these things with Morgan, or any grandchildren Morgan would’ve given us, but we were grateful to remember all the precious moments we were able to spend with Morgan over her 20 years on this earth.  She was always an extremely bright light in our lives, and we were very blessed to have spent that time with her.

Morgan is gone from this plane, but still sends signs of love to all of us.  This morning before our grandchildren left we all spent a couple more hours out by the pool.  I was sitting on a chair when my granddaughter said, “Nana, look a dragonfly, it’s Aunt Gigi (that’s what she called Morgan).  This dragonfly was beautiful.  It had translucent yellow wings and kept circling me, then it circled both of the children in the pool, then circled Steve and then landed within a foot of where I was sitting.  It was as though Morgan was trying to say, “I am here with all of you and I love you.”  It was an amazing gift on this Easter morning.

A friend I met gave me a Trinity Cross necklace for my birthday in 2012.  You may have seen a picture of it on an older post that I wrote.  It is a beautiful silver cross that she had made using her father’s design.  She told me it meant Ask, Believe & Receive.  Well to make a long story short I just wanted to let everyone know that the meaning behind that beautiful necklace has really helped me over the last couple of years…I do ask, I do believe, and I know I will receive what I want most, which is to have Morgan’s murder investigation open and justice for Morgan.  It has taken so much longer then I ever thought it would, but then again I am always reminded things happen at the time that they need to happen and for reasons that we sometimes never know.  So I am still waiting, I do not allow myself to focus on the negative because I realize that would just be counterproductive.  I do know major things have happened, and are still happening that are keeping forward movement in the fight for justice for Morgan.  Major things that are extremely positive, and I know justice is coming – putting an exact date to that moment can not be known to anyone on this planet, but the fact that it is coming I truly do believe.

Again, I wish you all much love & peace.