Tag Archives: #Lossofachild

A Short Recap of the Stalking…

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Back in August of 2011, when our 19-year-old daughter, Morgan, was being stalked, we had no idea what to do or where to turn. 

  • Stalking fact: More than all victims of stalking indicated that they were stalked before the age of 25, and nearly 1 in 4 were stalked before the age of 18.
  • We did not know why or who was doing this. In my naivety, I thought only famous people were stalked. Our daughter was scared; we were scared for her, and also very angry, only wanting to protect and keep her safe.
  • For 4 months, we did not have a full night’s sleep. The stalker kept waking us up. We were afraid to leave the house unoccupied, fearing the stalker would break in while we were gone. Morgan was afraid to go outside without pepper spray for fear of being assaulted, especially after dark. Morgan was afraid of going to bed and having her stalker hide under her bed, so she took her bed off the frame and dropped it onto the floor so there was nowhere to hide… We all became hyper-vigilant, always looking over our shoulders, anticipating every vulnerability.
  • We did everything we could think of to keep her safe. We set up safety protocols, put up cameras, motion detectors, and called the sheriff’s office at all times of the day & night, every time something happened. I kept a detailed log of every incident. It became a felony stalking case, but after only 4 months, she was found dead, and my world was shattered. I was no longer the same, and never would be again. There are no words to explain the feeling of losing a child and feeling like there had to be something else I could have done to save her. Morgan was now a victim of stalking, and my husband and I were left to be the survivors of that stalking.

My Feelings Today…November 29, 2017

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I haven’t posted anything for a while…the holidays are hard for anyone who has lost a loved one, and our family is no exception.  My heart has been breaking more and more every day, as the days grow closer to this coming Saturday, December 2nd.  Saturday will be the horrible reminder that 6 years have passed since Morgan was taken from us.  It is a hurt that I can never explain – it goes down deep into my very soul.

Being together, and close on Thanksgiving, was nice, and as usual, very hard – all at the same time.  Putting on a happy face, while hurting so badly inside is never easy, but I do it, as do others.  See, you never “get over” the loss of a child.  We set an extra place at the table for Morgan, and then we realized someone else at the table had just lost her husband, about a year ago, as well as her 19-year-old daughter before that, so I told her the empty seat and place setting was for all of them…none are forgotten – as long as they are still in our hearts and minds.  She started to cry, and was so happy to have an opportunity to talk about the husband and daughter she had lost.

I really wish that others could understand our pain, but at the same time I would never want them to experience the same loss that we have had in order to understand.  No one could ever understand that pain, unless they had experienced that ultimate loss – the loss of their child.   I would never wish that upon any other parent!

So many people tell me that I am such a strong person, but in reality I wasn’t given a choice.  Losing Morgan was the worst thing that has ever happened to me…a part of me died with her on December 2, 2011.  And yet the sun still comes up every morning, and the world continues to turn.  So just like other parents who have had a child taken from them, I take a deep breath every morning, and try to put on a smile.  I tell myself I am grateful that I have been given the gift of another day, a gift Morgan had stolen from her, a new day in which I can choose to do something good for someone else, in honor of Morgan.

Saturday will be an exceptionally hard day for all of us, and then the fight for justice will continue…because Morgan deserves justice.