OUR FAMILY – Before A Stalker Stole Our Youngest Child

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Another memory found…our oldest daughter had these little cards made before her little sister was stalked & murdered.  They depict Steve & I, our whole family, Dad (Steve), Mom (me), our oldest daughter (Kristin), our son (Ryan), and our youngest daughter (Morgan), then Morgan & I with our dog (Tessi)…we now all have a hole in our hearts, as we no longer have Morgan in our lives.

When someone is violently taken from this world they are not the only victim…there are many victims that still live and suffer because their loved one was taken.  No one can prepare themselves for such a horrific thing. Homicide grief expert Lu Redmond has estimated that there are seven to ten close relatives, not counting significant others, friends, neighbors and co-workers for each victim. Those left behind to mourn are called “homicide survivors” and no amount of justice, restitution, prayer or compassion will bring their loved one back.  https://www.huffingtonpost.com/diane-dimond/getting-away-with-murder_b_117930.html

So when stalking is not taken seriously and ends in the death of the victim – the world for many, has now changed forever…stalking can become violent & lethal. Stalking is a crime and needs to be taken seriously and dealt with quickly, before it becomes lethal.

In the case of our daughter Morgan – this was a “gang” stalking.  There were more than 2 people in a “group or gang” that had targeted her.  We know this now, after all our investigations, and being informed by law enforcement at the highest level in this country.  The 2 “main” stalkers wanted her dead for 2 different reasons, because they were 2 different “types” of stalkers.

  • The Resentful Stalker: an individual motivated by an insult or wrongdoing (real or imagined) to scare or intimidate the target.
  • The Predatory Stalker: the rarest subgroup, these individuals stalk for the purposes of eventual rape or sexual assault.

The lethality of these 2 different “types” of stalker was significantly increased and should have been stopped before the escalation that caused Morgan’s murder.  This is why being informed and raising awareness is of the upmost importance.

 

Alice’s Tea Cup in New York…

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Alice’s Tea Cup in New York was another of Morgan’s favorite places to be…and Lemongrass Jasmine Tea was her favorite tea she ordered while there.  Just another memory of Morgan.  She loved tea shops, book stores, and museums.  That was also who Morgan was.

I miss her so much – my heart hurts every single day without her.  Every time I find a memory like this, I smile thinking about how much she loved such simple things as good tea, then I cry because it will never be again.  Someone evil stole her away from her life on this planet – these are now just precious memories of her.  I believe Morgan’s soul is still on her journey, and I will see her again someday when my time on this planet is done…but till that day I will miss her with all my heart.

IT IS NOT OKAY TO BULLY OR BLAME THE VICTIM…EVER!

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This is exactly what I told Crime Watch Daily, “It’s not okay to blame victims, or to bully victims, they have had enough pain already.  Morgan always conducted her life here on earth with grace, compassion, understanding and love…and in honor of her, we will never allow these type of people to distract us from our goal, which is, #Justice For Morgan.”

Victim-blaming can be seen as an outright attack on the victims or co-victims of a crime, or anytime someone decides to question what a victim could have done differently to prevent that crime, even if that accuser doesn’t completely grasp what he/she is doing with their actions, that person is participating, to some degree, in the culture of victim-blaming.  This has been happening, not only to me and my family, but to Morgan’s good friends as well, for years now.  Sometimes it has been as minor as “questioning” why we did or did not do something, and sometimes it is an outright attack of everyone that is in support of getting justice for Morgan.

Please know that everyone who knew and loved Morgan, has at one time or another, blamed themselves…they have all verbalized to me that there must have been something they could have done to help stop her stalking, or save her that night, before she lost her life.  As her parents, Steve and I have agonized and asked the Universe, just like other parents who have lost their child to an unexpected violent death, why are we still alive, and she is gone?…we would rather be the ones gone, we would have given our lives in exchange for her life…but we were not given that choice.  and it hurts more than words can express.

Here is another interesting reason some people may become victim blamers:  “I think the biggest factor that promotes victim-blaming is something called the just world hypothesis,” says Sherry Hamby, a professor of psychology at the University of the South and founding editor of the APA’s Psychology of Violencejournal. “It’s this idea that people deserve what happens to them. There’s just a really strong need to believe that we all deserve our outcomes and consequences.”  These type of people want to hold the victim and/or co-victims responsible for the consequences of the crime.

There are many reasons people engage in victim-blaming…but the reason really doesn’t matter, the fact is, victim-blaming and bullying is WRONG!

Please keep sharing Morgan’s reward poster – thank you!

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