I recently read this submission, by someone over the Internet, and thought she summed it up rather eloquently – so please read this, as I have not approved some comments that have tried to make it on to “MY” blog, because there are still some people in this world that hold onto the belief that we should always blame the victim…which in my mind is so very wrong!

Written by Jenn: We discussed the concept of blaming the victim in my Social Psychology course. In class we learned about why this occurs. When we hear of something horrible that has happened to someone else (i.e. murder, rape, assault, etc.) this scares us. Our minds react to tell ourselves that this person made some poor choice that led to this horrible event. So, we blame the victim for using poor judgment instead of placing the blame on the offender.

Sometimes it is harder to admit that horrible things can happen to anyone regardless of who they are or what choices they’ve made. It makes us feel safe and in control to blame the victim. We think if the victim would have done something different they wouldn’t have been attacked, assaulted, kidnapped, raped, murdered, etc. Therefore if we make the right choices then we won’t be attacked, assaulted, kidnapped, raped, murdered, etc.

We must face that we live in a world where horrible things happen to good or bad people, to intelligent or naive people, to prepared or unprepared people. Our choices don’t always matter. Sometimes we even make poor choices but nothing bad happens. We walk down an unsafe alley and are not attacked. So when we hear of someone who walked down an unsafe alley and were attacked we cannot blame that person for being attacked. The offender/perpetrator should be blamed; they chose to attack, murder, rape, assault, kidnap, etc.

Understanding why we blame the victim isn’t meant to pardon this thought process but to explain it (just because something in the human thought process is explained doesn’t mean that it is right and just). Although this is a common response we should not blame the victim in order to satiate our fears. By understanding why humans do this, maybe we can stop ourselves when we start to blame the victim or when we see others do this. Being educated on why humans do certain things or think in a certain way can help us to be aware of our irrational thinking, correct it, as well as educating others on this matter.

Here are my thoughts:

Not only do the perpetrators of crime, and their supporters, engage in victim blaming, but sometimes, unknowingly, law enforcement engage in it as well when investigating reports of stalking.

From the Oxford University Press – terminology: Victim blaming
Ways of thinking about the causes of criminal victimization which seek explanations from the individual victim’s conduct and the victim’s relationship with the offender, rather than looking for wider social factors which help to explain victimization. In the context of police investigations, victim blaming can take the form of disbelieving the victim’s report of a crime being committed, or giving some types of incident lower priority on the grounds that the victim is less deserving than others.

Please read & share with others in conversation.  Facts and education are key to stopping so many criminals before they can escalate.  Especially for our law enforcement officers.

STALKERS:

Most stalkers are what Zona (1993) and Geberth (1992) call “Simple Obsessional” or, as Mullen and Pathe put it (1999) – “Rejected”. They stalk their prey as a way of maintaining the dissolved relationship (at least in their diseased minds). They seek to “punish” their quarry for refusing to collaborate in the charade and for resisting their unwanted and ominous attentions.

Such stalkers come from all walks of life and cut across social, racial, gender, and cultural barriers. They usually suffer from one or more (comorbid) personality disorders. They may have anger management or emotional problems and they usually abuse drugs or alcohol. Stalkers are typically lonely, violent, and intermittently unemployed – but they are rarely full fledged criminals.

Contrary to myths perpetrated by the mass media, studies show that most stalkers are men, have high IQ’s, advanced degrees, and are middle aged (Meloy and Gothard, 1995; and Morrison, 2001).

Rejected stalkers are intrusive and inordinately persistent. They recognize no boundaries – personal or legal. They honor to “contracts” and they pursue their target for years. They interpret rejection as a sign of the victim’s continued interest and obsession with them. They are, therefore, impossible to get rid of. Many of them are narcissists and, thus, lack empathy, feel omnipotent and immune to the consequences of their actions.
Even so, some stalkers are possessed of an uncanny ability to psychologically penetrate others. Often, this gift is abused and put at the service of their control freakery and sadism. Stalking – and the ability to “mete out justice” makes them feel powerful and vindicated. When arrested, they often act the victim and attribute their actions to self-defense and “righting wrongs”.

Stalkers are emotionally labile and present with rigid and infantile (primitive) defense mechanisms: splitting, projection, projective identification, denial, intellectualization, and narcissism. They devalue and dehumanize their victims and thus “justify” the harassment or diminish it. From here, it is only one