VICTORY – The Petition to Colorado State Governor John Hickenlooper Has Been Received

I want to shout out a big THANK YOU to everyone that signed the petition to Colorado Governor Hickenlooper.  The petition has been delivered and we are now awaiting an answer.  I promise to keep you all updated on any replies I receive from the Governor.

It was so wonderful to read through all the comments that were posted with the petition.  You were all so passionate and strong that it filled my heart with love as I read through them.

In the past three years since Morgan’s stalking and murder I have come to realize that this is not only a total injustice to her and our family, but to everyone.  With over 1,600 cold cases in Colorado alone, and at this moment in time Morgan’s case isn’t even considered a cold case because of the incorrect manner of death that is listed on her death certificate, it’s not hard to understand that murderers are still out there, still free to walk among us.  Every time I see the following quote I understand that we can never give up, because if we do there will be even more victims that will be gone without a case…and in what world should that ever be acceptable?

“Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are” – Benjamin Franklin

https://www.change.org/p/colorado-state-governor-john-hickenlooper-we-want-morgan-ingram-s-felony-stalking-investigation-opened-with-the-attorney-general-s-office

Valentine post card…I miss you

valentinesimissyou

 

Morgan I miss you so much and I just remembered the Valentine gift I gave you that has never been found – it was on your keychain with your house key.  A little frog prince charm with sparkling crystals on it from Red Envelope…who took it?  Another mystery item never found after you were gone.  I’m sure someone knows what happened to your keychain.

The Warmth of a Horse…

tcatrancOnly 2 days before Morgan’s last day on this earth it was a Tuesday; a cold but sunny December afternoon.  Morgan came home from school, ate lunch and asked if I would go with her down to the ranch behind our house to enjoy a short visit with our horse TC.  I said yes, as I had not taken a lunch break yet and thought this would be a good excuse to get up from my desk and stretch my legs.  We grabbed a couple of carrots, drove around the corner, parked the car, went in the barn to get his brushes.  We then walked over to visit with TC.

TC was in a corral with a few other horses, but that didn’t stop him from running to the fence as soon as he heard Morgan’s voice.  Morgan was only 2 years old when TC was born on our ranch in Old Snowmass, CO and the connection between Morgan and TC had always been a very strong one.  We went in the corral, put on his halter and walked him out of his corral.  I held him while Morgan gave him a quick brush-out.  TC was nuzzling her the whole time.  As soon as she was done she put her arms around his neck and laid her face right up against his neck, soaking in his warmth.  She closed her eyes and stayed in that position for a really long time.  I said nothing – just watched.  TC closed his eyes too and stood perfectly still the whole time.  Finally Morgan spoke.  She said, “TC always makes everything feel better.  Can we come down here every day this week?”  I almost started to cry – I knew she was so very exhausted and stressed out over the fear that was created by her stalker.  As a mom I wanted to make it all better, but had no idea how to do that.  I told Morgan, “Of course we can.”

TC has always been a “healing” horse…many animals have that gift.  I have always been grateful to have this beautiful, kind, loving paint horse in our family…and please understand he is not just a “horse” he is truly part of our family.  As fate would have it the next two days, Wednesday and Thursday, we were unable to take a break and go down to the ranch and then by Friday morning it was too late…Morgan was dead.

Many people will not understand what I am about to say…and many people will understand completely.  The afternoon of Friday, December 2, 2011 was the worse day of my entire life.  Morgan was dead, and the shock of losing her was tremendous.  That same afternoon, while I was sitting on the couch crying, all of a sudden I had an extremely strong “feeling” that I should go over to the ranch because nobody had told TC.  I got up and started for the front door.  All of a sudden my sister-in-law asked me where I was going.  When I told her she said she was not about to let me go anywhere by myself.  So we both headed over to the ranch.  As I was walking towards TC’s corral I noticed two horses up against the fence, but I didn’t see TC.  As I got closer I saw TC in the center of the corral looking at me.  I couldn’t understand why he wasn’t coming over to the fence like he had his whole life.  The look in his eyes was so strange.  As I got closer to the corral I just blurted out, “I am so sorry TC she’s gone.”  All of a sudden TC, our big gentle horse,  reared up in the air – striking out with both his front hooves, as he tossed his head and screamed.  I can only describe the sound that was coming from him as an ‘angry guttural moan’…his eyes were wide open, nostrils flaring, he came back down to the ground and started to turn in circles, kicking out with his back legs.  The other horses in the corral gave him a wide berth – they were not about to go near him.  He was acting like a wild stallion.

I finally reached the fence, and collapsed against it crying.  I kept saying, “I know TC I wasn’t able to protect her,” but he would not come to the fence, he just kept running around in circles, nostrils flaring, stomping at the ground.  Just like the other horses in his corral I knew he didn’t want me, or anyone else around him.  He was hurt, angry, and didn’t want to accept that Morgan was gone – do you wonder how I knew what he was thinking?  Anyone watching him at that very moment would have known what he was thinking and feeling just by the look in his eyes, and how he was acting…it doesn’t take a horse whisperer, or an animal communicator to understand – all it took was to watch, and hear his extreme anguish.  Anguish that is not only a human feeling, but a feeling that animals possess as well.

My sister-in-law walked up behind me and gave me a hug.  In-between sobs I told TC that I loved him, and I turned to walk away.  With a heart that was breaking, and a mind that was trying to convince me that this was all a very horrible dream, I went back to our house.  When I arrived back at the house Steve asked me why I had gone to the ranch.  I didn’t really understand why I went except that I felt someone had to tell TC – he loved her too.   I told Steve exactly how TC had reacted.  He then said something to me that set me back on my heals…he asked, “Do you think TC saw him?”  To this day I still wonder.  He was in a corral just on the other side of the berm behind our house – the berm where the stalker(s) would sneak up from behind our house.  The berm that had a trail worn into it during the stalking.  The trail the sheriffs had seen and told us about.  Could he have seen something?  Maybe, but he is only a horse, and had no way to warn us.

Life is a very precious thing, and every day is precious as well.  Sometimes when I look into TC’s eyes I can see that his mind gently drifts away with happy thoughts of Morgan, and I wonder if he can still see her.  I am so grateful for all the wonderful memories that everyone, including TC have of her.  She is still felt in the warmth of the sun, the gentle breezes as well as the sparkle in the fresh snow.  Morgan is still always around us and never gone.  Love can never be taken away – it remains forever.

 

 

Morgan & Her Dad…Goofing off in the sun

stevemorganThis picture was taken on one of our many trips from Colorado to California, and back again.  Driving through the desert in Utah was alway inspiring.  Looking at the rock formations was food for the imagination…imagining lost tribes of Indians, or gigantic dinosaurs roaming the massive red rock formations, with no limit to the possibilities, your mind’s eye can imagine so many different scenarios.  Whenever we were able to stop for a break from driving, Steve and Morgan loved to walk around and check out the sights…and of course pose for funny pictures.

I miss all our wonderful trips with Morgan talking to us from the back seat of the car.  We would talk, laugh, play music and sing.  Sometimes she would bring a friend along and it was so much fun.  We would stop at places like Charlie Browns in the desert before Los Angeles and check out all the old fashioned candy, giant emu eggs, and amazing memorabilia that seemed to be everywhere.  Every trip we made on vacation was an adventure and Morgan loved every moment of it as much as we did.  I am so glad that we able to spend so much time with Morgan.  From the very moment she was born we enjoyed her presence, and I would never have guessed in a million years that we would be graced with her here on earth for such a short amount of time.  I am extremely grateful that we were able to have such wonderful and lasting memories with her and that she chose us to be her parents.

Remembering Morgan is easy…we all do it every day.  But it is still hard to not be able to make new memories with her.  We smile and laugh about the fun times, and still hurt over the fact that she has missed, and will continue to miss, every sunrise and sunset, along with every family holiday, vacation, graduation, anniversary and wedding, and so many more moments that I know she loved.  Do I think she isn’t with us in spirit to celebrate these things?  No, I do believe she is still with us in spirit, but I don’t believe she should have been taken from this world against her will, taken from our family the way she was.  There is no place in this world where that is okay…it’s just not okay.  No one has the right to take another life.

The wrongs that were done to Morgan need to be righted.  There needs to be an investigation into her suspicious death, and indictments need to be made.  Turning a blind eye to the outrageous things that have happened to Morgan, before and after her death, will only insure that other families will continue to suffer as we have, and no sane person would ever want that.  This needs to end, and end now.

To date we still continue to be attacked as we press forward for justice for Morgan.  Those people that have been spreading lies, hiding behind their computer screens, in their own dark corners thinking no one will ever find out the truth – they need to realize many people already know the truth – the truth has always been there.  For the person(s) that did this to Morgan, as well as all those who continue to try to keep Morgan’s case from ever becoming a case, by threatening and bullying everyone that have attempted to help get justice for Morgan, I would like them to know that hiding in the shadows isn’t going to work anymore.  Staying anonymous while spreading lies and mistruths may work for awhile, but not forever.  The bright light of truth is still growing ever brighter every day and will not stop.

Remember this quote:

“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always.” 

― Mahatma Gandhi

 

Tessi still wishes Morgan would come home…

tessdoor After 3 years Tessi still grieves for Morgan.  Not every day, but there are times you can see the sadness in her eyes when someone mentions Morgan’s name.  If you have ever wondered if dogs hurt when they loose someone they love I will tell you from first hand experience, they do, they have huge hearts and their hearts grieve just like human hearts.

And Morgan’s dog Wylah has nightmares still.  She cries out in her sleep.  She was just a puppy at the time of Morgan’s murder and she was definitely traumatized.  The good news is she is starting to become a lot more trusting of people – she wasn’t for the first year or so.  A good friend of mine said to put my hand over her heart when she looked sad.  I did that for quite a while and I must report that it did work…the sparkle in her eyes has come back and she is extremely affectionate and loving.  I am so happy because I know Morgan loves her little dog so much and wants her to be happy.

Morgan’s cat Mogwai grieves too.  Sometimes he gets despondent and doesn’t want anyone around him, and other times he just wants to be able to cuddle up like he used to do with Morgan.  The problem is he will cuddle up to us but then look really sad, like it’s just not the same. He then gets up and slowly walks away to be alone again.  I try to follow him, call his name, dangle string in front of him to play, but he just looks at me with eyes glassed over as though he is trying to just focus on his memories.  But recently when Mogwai looks upset Tessi has started to walk over to him to try to cheer him up…it’s so adorable, she licks him (with her huge tongue) in his ear, then he looks grossed out, but he still sits still and let’s her…I think he likes her attention, even though it is very slobbery. 🙂

It’s has been heartbreaking at times to see these wonderful, kind and furry members of our family grieve, but just like with all of us I know it is a process that can not be avoided.  I think it just makes all of us, humans and animals alike, treasure the moments we have together and appreciate even the smallest things in life like chasing a ball in the park.

“Over the years I’ve come to appreciate how animals enter our lives prepared to teach and far from being burdened by an inability to speak they have many different ways to communicate. It is up to us to listen more than hear, to look into more than past.”
― Nick TroutLove Is the Best Medicine: What Two Dogs Taught One Veterinarian about Hope, Humility, and Everyday Miracles