National Crime Victims’ Rights Week – 2020


This year’s NCVRW theme—Seek Justice | Ensure Victims’ Rights | Inspire Hope.

As you observe National Crime Victims’ Rights Week (NCVRW) and the 2020 theme—Seek Justice | Ensure Victims’ Rights | Inspire Hope—view and share the 2020 NCVRW Theme Video.

This year’s theme underscores the importance of seeking justice for all victims of crime, ensuring that crime victims’ rights are honored, educating the public about those rights, and inspiring hope for individual survivors and communities. View the Theme Video to learn more about this year’s theme and share as part of your online campaign.

Share the story of your stalking…your story could save a life

Writing down the details and feelings of your experiences is not only extremely healing, it can help others that are suffering in silence. If you would like to share a short form of your story here on this blog please post a comment here and I will get back to you as soon as I can. I would then be able to post it for you here as a blog post – you can have your name on it or I can keep it anonymous if you would rather do it that way.

I know stalking is terrifying. I know stalking changes you forever. It’s hard to comprehend how many victims and survivors of stalking have contacted me over the years to thank me for sharing my story – I have been told it has helped so many, and that makes my heart happy. So, now I would love to see others share their story as well, in the hope that more victims and survivors will get something out of those stories too.  Thank you so much!



Holidays 2019 – Some Ideas For Those Dealing with Trauma…

First, I would like to send a huge thank you to all those who emailed me and posted comments to this blog this past year – your support has been invaluable to me. It’s hard for some people to understand that they can not “fix” a parent who has lost a child…but just being there, not forgetting their child’s name, and just being supportive, is one of the greatest gifts you can give to a grieving parent.

And, I would also like to express my apology for my lack of posting for some time now…time doesn’t get any easier, and Steve and I have been having an extremely emotional time with the holidays. I know that after a trauma, it’s normal for people to experience flashbacks (I have had many of those), anxiety (that goes without saying), hyper-vigilance (constantly), and grief (never ending).

Sadly, so many people experience trauma in their lives, and with that trauma they start to experience PTSD. According to mental health professionals, post-traumatic stress disorder (or PTSD) is a condition that results in a series of emotional and physical reactions in individuals who have either witnessed or experienced a traumatic event. Stalking is a traumatic experience, as well as losing someone you love. An unknown author said, “Grief is like a earthquake. The first one hits you and the world falls apart. Even after you put the world together again there are aftershocks, and you never really know when those will come.”

Being able to speak with a grief counselor over the years has been a huge help for Steve and I, but this type of trauma is not something that you ever get over…you don’t wake up one day and the pain is gone…no, the pain continues, so we have needed to learn how to deal with that pain.

I would like to share with you some grounding techniques that we have been given – techniques to can help control the symptoms experienced after a trauma. Again, not everyone’s trauma is the same, but many of the symptoms of trauma are.

Body Awareness: The body awareness technique with bring you into the here-and-now by directing your focus to sensations in the body. Pay special attention to the physical sensations created by each step.

  1. Take 5 long, deep breaths through your nose, and exhale through puckered lips.
  2. Place both feet flat on the floor. Wiggle your toes. Curl and uncurl your toes several times. Spend a moment noticing the sensations in your feet.
  3. Stomp your feet on the ground several times. Pay attention to the sensations in your feet and legs as you make contact with the ground.
  4. Clench your hands into fists, then release the tension. Repeat this 10 times.
  5. Press your palms together. Press them harder and hold this pose for 15 seconds. Pay attention to the feeling of tension in your hands and arms.
  6. Rub your palms together briskly. Notice the sound and feeling of warmth.
  7. Reach your hands over your head like you’re trying to reach the sky. Stretch like this for 5 seconds. Bring your arms down and let them relax at your sides.
  8. Take 5 more deep breaths and notice the feeling of calm in your body.

I hope this helps a little – I will try to post some more ideas soon.