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The Second Anniversary of Morgan’s Murder

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Never Giving Up Morgan

Never Giving Up Morgan

That morning two years ago began as any other, and then it grew to change so many lives forever.  She would wish that we always remember her in happiness. For all that she shared with us in her short time.  And for the love that she brought to this world.

Morgan did not want to leave, that choice was forced upon her by others that will answer for what they did, but that is for another day or days.  However long it takes to see justice for Morgan that challenge will be met.  Never a choice Steve and I ever imagined we would face someday, but we have, and our commitment to what we know is right is now stronger and more complete that ever before.

Days before her death we all shared what would be Morgan’s last Thanksgiving dinner with us, enjoying her happiness and love as if it would simply always be, just as it always had.  That it could all end so abruptly was unimaginable that afternoon.

Morgan’s stalker and her stalking were not mentioned.  Instead we talked of the future, her certification to teach yoga that would begin in a month, then her pursuit of a law degree after that, and her ultimate desire to help others.  It was the dream of life, as it should have been.  It was a wonderful afternoon. . .

We Love You So Much Morgan

We Love You So Much Morgan

Today it is about managing the pain.  We know Morgan wants us to be happy, to enjoy all of the many blessings we have and to carry on her love for the world, and we shall.  We are stronger now, more able to say the phrase, “we are so blessed to have Morgan in our lives for the twenty years that we did, and thankful to be able to carry her memory forward as it should be.”  There is so much work yet to do on that endeavor that Morgan so justly deserves.

As Steve and I began down the path we now embrace so fully, we felt alone, and looking back now, how quickly it was that we discovered we were not alone at all.  It’s as if Morgan herself was out asking others for their assistance in unraveling the mysteries of her death.  There should not have been so many facets to decipher, but there were.  Oh so many – yet slowly but surely the shrouds are falling off and the truth emerging.  If ever there was a case that so completely proves that the truth never changes, Morgan’s case will indeed prove that simple statement.

The truths revealed so far have really been very simple, albeit very shocking and horrific as Steve and I were first allowed to see them, but without a doubt, simple truths.  In the end all will be obvious, a giant compilation of simple truths.  And make no mistake it will not be a compilation made by Steve and I.  It comes from the expertise of so many, all across the country, all taking the time to share what they know with us as the simple curators of what Morgan’s case has become.  Every new little truth gives us pause, and it hurts, but it is what we need because it will one day spell justice for our dear departed daughter.  That one things means so very much to Steve and I, and to so many more that are now sharing in this quest of ours.

It has been so amazing and encouraging to see how every great mind picks out another piece from the same crime scene.  Another fact that was right there the morning her murdered body was found.  Another little truth that has waited, unchanged, until it was discovered to be a part of the crimes against Morgan.  That her civil rights were completely obliterated is without question and we again take a moment to thank all of those who are helping to expose these facts.  Our path seems like it has been long and painful and we will be up for wherever it takes us and however long it takes, with enough patience to see and assemble all of the facts surrounding her murder we shall ensnare the murderers and their accomplices with nothing more than the simple truths that all existed on the morning we found her.

A year ago I tried to document her investigation, but it was so difficult and tedious.  I have now come to realize it was because there was no investigation, just another simple truth.  What other simple truths do we know?  That is not for today, on the anniversary of her death we will remember Morgan, and all that she was.  And all that she had taken from her will not change, and it will still be there tomorrow.  Today we miss her greatly, and that is all we can bear for one day.  These 3 beautiful pictures were taken by someone very close to Morgan, on this very morning as the sun was coming up – Morgan used to get up before sunrise to watch the ever-changing start of the new day…she loved it so much, as she loved life, so these pictures are like an extension of Morgan herself.  Thank you so much to the beautiful soul that took them and sent them to us today.  Much love to everyone and know that we will NEVER GIVE UP!

We Miss You So Much and We Feel Your Love Stronger and Stronger

We Miss You So Much and We Feel Your Love Stronger and Stronger

Somewhere Along the Journey Toward Justice for Morgan

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Morgan posing on one of her Dads projects.

Morgan posing on one of her Dad’s functional art pieces.

Home from a whirlwind weekend, Steve and I find ourselves missing Morgan more than ever – but we have many blessings to share from our trip.  First we had a lovely couple of hours to just sit and talk as Vail Pass was shut down and a little snowstorm tried its best to quiet the evening.  We were on our way to the annual FOHVAMP (Families of Homicide Victims and Missing Persons) meeting and Morgan’s best friend was also stuck in the storm coming the other way over Vail Pass so it was a great time to text her and others I haven’t spoken with in such a long time.

Saturday at the meeting we had our chance to talk with Howard, the founder of FOHVAMP and thank him for all the help and support he has given us since Morgan’s death, it has meant so much and it is without doubt one of the few bright stars in an otherwise very dark time for us.  Howard always reminds me to focus on our health and well-being – to not let the murderer claim two more innocent lives, I speak about that often with Steve, and it has made a difference in our lives.

The singular most important thing I have to share from the meeting is the large presence of law enforcement.  Men and women with hearts as big as the Colorado skyline and their feelings for all the other victims like us right out on their sleeves for all to see.  It was so reassuring to be right there and witness first hand how our terribly tragic experience here was isolated to Garfield County, and in other parts of Colorado, Sheriffs and Police departments truly do care, very much, they give up their weekends to help victims such as Steve and I.  It was far beyond heartwarming.  It was reassurance that the entire world has not been flung into an uncontrolled orbit, that sanity really does still exist.

I listened to all the care, concern and advice of many officers down in the trenches every day, and have such great respect for all those whom I listened to, and even more so for those I had the opportunity to talk with.  I know all too well from what happened to Morgan about how difficult a task they face, and to meet with such unwavering dedication brought great hope for Steve and I.

Kim Goldman was there to share her own story of the horrific days she faced after her brother Ron Goldman (who was brutally murdered at the same time as Nicole Brown Simpson) and the ensuing media blitz that became a part of her life in the, “trial of the century.”  She shared her feeling of loss that was a part of so many there in the audience.

The experience was far too fresh and tender of a wound for us to stay till the end, but Steve and I have such unending appreciation and respect for what the FOHVAMP organization does for those who are suddenly in a position that most will never really understand, as Howard once told me a “club” that no one wants to be a part of.  Their website is http://www.unresolvedhomicides.org/about.php

We were blessed with sunshine and a clear day on Sunday, and our afternoon was spent walking Wylah and Tessi down a trail along the river.

Now there is so much to do for Morgan and her memory.  We have new direction and some very promising marching orders.  Hope for us always leads us to the wish we could share that hope more fully with Morgan, and the realization that will never be.  Our path is the search for justice – and the rest of what was taken from Morgan – we, nor anyone else can ever restore.  We love and miss you so much honey…

TODAY (September 25th) IS NATIONAL DAY OF REMEMBRANCE FOR MURDER VICTIMS

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NATIONAL DAY OF REMEMBRANCE FOR MURDER VICTIMS
September 25, 2013
Please join COVA, the Victim Assistance Unit of the Denver Police Department, MADD, the Front Range Chapter of POMC, Voices of Victims, and Families of Homicide Victims and Missing Persons as we pause to remember all victims of homicide, for the 7th Annual National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims.Families of murder victims are encouraged to bring a picture of their loved one to display.  A representative from each family may present the name of their loved one, date of birth, and date of death at the microphone.  The media is expected to be in attendance.
Time: 11:00AM-1:00PMLocation: 1371 Cherokee Street(Plaza in front of the new Denver Crime Lab)

Featured Speaker: Jayann Sepich, Founder, DNA Saves

 

After the 2003 brutal rape and murder of her firstborn, Katie, Jayann and her family established DNA Saves, a non-profit organization dedicated to the passage of arrestee testing laws, in December of 2008.  Jayann, along with her family made it their mission to see legislation passed in all 50 states to mandate taking DNA upon felony arrest, called “Katie’s Law”. Colorado passed Katie’s Law in 2009.

 

Jayann says that she is an ordinary woman placed in an extraordinary circumstance.  She believes that through DNA testing of arrestees, lives will be saved and crimes prevented, and families spared the pain of burying a loved one.
The annual National Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims allows the opportunity to remember those lost to homicide, and honor their memories.  September 25th was chosen to honor POMC founders Robert and Charlotte Hullinger of Cincinnati, Ohio, whose daughter was murdered on that date in 1978.

A little more about Morgan…her stalker can’t take away all the beautiful times she spent on this earth

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Morgan's birhtday

Morgan’s birthday

Who was Morgan – really?  I am not quite sure why I feel the need to write this down right now, but remember how I said you should always go with what your intuition is telling you?  Well mine is telling me that even though I know who Morgan was, even though her whole family, and her friends know who Morgan was, not everyone knew her.  I have tried, throughout this blog, using her text messages, and daily events that happened to her to give everyone a look into who she really was, but now my intuition is telling me to explain more.

Morgan was 19 when her stalking started.  She turned twenty about 2 weeks later – she was born in August, she was a Leo – that should explain to some of you about her drive and her inner courage.  She was not shy about speaking out when she thought someone was being unjustly persecuted.  Morgan always stood up for her own rights as well, and enjoyed her freedom.  After raising two other children, and being involved in so many other children’s lives over the years I knew that at age 20, I could not even begin to tell Morgan what to do, I could only explain to her why I would like her to do things like, text me on her way home, always let me know where she was, and who she was with, and always carry pepper spray on her – but this was only during her stalking – we never had to employ any of this before her stalking began, as some people have suggested.  We actually thought we lived in a safe place, but I now know no place in this world is safe from evil.  Morgan was such a sweet and loving soul that she never argued about my suggestions, she knew I was worried about her, and she did not want to cause me, or her father or anyone else any additional stress so our beautiful and kind daughter took my suggestions willingly…she was frightened too, and as other stalking victims have said to me over, and over again about how they felt while being stalked, Morgan said the same thing – she just wanted it to stop, she just wanted to believe it was over…they all do.  Morgan tried to tell herself, as did I, if it was quiet for a day or two that maybe it was over…but it wasn’t.

shadowfigure

Morgan was our youngest child, one of three.  Her older sister and brother adored her.  She was a twin, but I lost her twin during my pregnancy, and Morgan (our little Leo) hung in there, she was tough.  When Morgan was only 11 years old she was exposed to chronic Carbon Monoxide for a year – it was horrible!  She went from feeling like she had the flu to being so sick she started to lose her hair – she was pale and would shake all over.  Steve and I have great insurance so we brought her to Children’s hospital, and every specialist we could think of in Colorado, but they could not figure out what was wrong with her.  Morgan was so brave, and so happy when we finally found out what was causing the problem. We got her out of that house immediately, it was hard because it was the middle of winter in a ski town so there were not many places available, but she never complained – not even once, again she was very tough.  She was so happy to be feeling better and to be back in school with her friends – unfortunately at that time we had no idea that the Carbon Monoxide would cause her more problems down the line…but what did Morgan do?  It would have been easy for her to let it hold her back, let her fade into the background, but Morgan said she was happy about all the problems she had suffered through, because she felt that it had made her stronger and even more driven.  She wrote, and did two speeches about it – she wanted to get her story out so others would know the dangers of Chronic Carbon Monoxide poisoning…not just Acute Carbon Monoxide poisoning like we sadly read about in the paper, after a whole family dies.

She was not materialistic, she loved going on “road trips” with her father and I – she always kidded us that we were a “crack-up”, as did some of her friends that we would invite along, all these trips and outings have left us amazing and happy memories that I wouldn’t change for anything.  As a family we always loved having kids in the house, we sponsored hockey kids for a year, had various cousins live with us at times, enjoyed having big holiday dinners and BBQ’s.  Morgan always enjoyed all the holiday craft times, egg dying, Christmas ornament making, and in her last two years became enamored with baking desserts for everyone.

Morgan even made heart shapes out of parmesan cheese :}

Morgan even made heart shapes out of parmesan cheese :}

Morgan had just finished her first two years of college and transferred her credits to CU Boulder so she could finish up her last two years and receive her BA.  Morgan wrote the following just before she was murdered, she thought she was going to get the chance to finish up her last 2 years of college and then go on to law school. She loved Philosophy and couldn’t wait to do even more good things with her life…now we are all going to help her fight for woman’s rights, as well as the right for all humanity to be treated equally. Change will be made – we are all here to help see this through Morgan.

Morgan wrote: About to spend the next two years overdosing on Philosophy in an amazing way. Also, anyone interested in perhaps making a grassroots effort to make a difference for woman’s rights? Anyone?

Her other passion, besides learning was her pets.  She loved all animals, and they always loved her.  Her cat Mogwai loved sleeping in her suitcase.  Whenever he heard her come home from school but not come in her room he would yell out, “,Ma, Ma”  he was a total Mama’s boy.

Mogwaiinsuitcase

Her horse TC love her so much – they were like brother and sister.  He knew when she was killed.  I went to tell him later that same day and when he saw me he reared up, threw his head from side to side and yelled out.  You could see in his eyes that he already knew and was extremely upset.  He would not come to me and he always comes to me.  I just cried and told him how sorry I was that I didn’t protect her.  No one in this world could tell me animals don’t know.  I was there and saw how her horse reacted that day and I am here to tell you he has never done that in his life…he knew, and he was very angry that this had happened to someone so dear to his heart, someone he could communicate with, someone who was so caring and gentle.  I also would like to tell you that horses NEVER forget.tc2

 

 

 

Morgan and her puppy Wylah May – Morgan adored this little one.  Morgan worked very hard on a movie in California in the beginning of that summer and spent all her hard-earned money on that puppy.  Made her special food, took her down to the river, the parks, took her for play dates with other dogs…this little dog was like a baby to her.  Wylah was about 5 months old when Morgan was murdered.  She is now an older, wiser, and beautiful dog.  She is sweet and loving and great with other dogs but very weary of certain people – even if they are far away when she is on a walk she observes people around her and actually growled at a strange-looking man just a week ago.  I guess she is a hyper-vigilant dog now.

Morgan and Wylah with bubbles

Morgan and Wylah with bubbles

She loved her little happy ferrets – they always made us smile.

Morgan's ferret Mocha peeking out of a bag

Morgan’s ferret Mocha peeking out of a bag

And Tessi missing Morgan coming through the front door, and while petting her always called her beautiful. Tessi and Morgan would always be together on the couch when Morgan was watching television.  She seemed to like all the movies Morgan liked.  Tessi misses Morgan so very much!

mjtessipuzzle

 

And of course I could go on for years writing just this one post about Morgan because there are so many wonderful things about her I could never put them in one post but I hope throughout the entire blog you will get the true “sense” of who Morgan was.  She is the most beautiful, and gentle soul I have ever met, and I am truly proud to have been her mother.  We will get justice and we will make changes…count on it.

 

Understanding the stalker, and the responsibilities of being a good parent, and a good human being

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As the world grows it learns.  The FBI has begun to further understand the intricate nuances of stalkers and their multifaceted dangers.  Click here for a great article to read about predatory stalkers. 

Keenan Vanginkel stalked and escalated, as predicted that he would.  The lead detective assigned to Morgan’s felony stalking case knew the escalation was coming, and tried to warn us only two days before Morgan’s murder, at the same time he said he felt he was getting very close to making an arrest.  I do not think the detective knew what kind of escalation it would be, but he did say he felt it would escalate, and sadly for our daughter Morgan it was all too little, and too late.  She is now dead, and after the unspeakable travesties of Garfield County, Steve and I are stuck in a gut-wrenching, and never-ending rut of correcting those who should have been protecting Morgan, and her rights (before, and after her murder), but were not…

An afternoon in Santa Fe

An afternoon in Santa Fe

The last words of the detective, before Morgan was killed, was not only that her stalking was going to – “if anything it’s most likely going to escalate,” it was also that he wasn’t sure if Keenan’s girlfriend Brooke was not involved at all – OR, as he had begun to think more so lately, that she was very involved.  When your daughter is murdered somehow the who was more involved loses some of its fire.

So many lies have been uncovered that it is hard, really hard, not to point fingers at those who knew, and chose to pretend they did not.  Such as even the father of Brooke.  He confessed on the morning that Morgan’s body was found, to a client and certainly, by his own admissions,  knew enough to put a stop to it, but chose not to.  Instead he found it more important to protect his daughter.

There is a trend unraveling in Colorado these days, parents exposing the crimes and culpability of their children so others will not suffer.  It is an in-depth and complex idea.  Just the slightest word from a parent to law enforcement, that is willing to listen, has solved some of the shocking crimes that plague Colorado of late.  But you see there are two parts to the equation.  First there is a parent willing to give up the knowledge, and then there is law enforcement willing to listen. Here are some examples recently in Colorado:

1. His mother called 911 on Oct. 23, saying he wanted to confess to the Jessica Ridgeway Murder: Austin Sigg, teen suspect in slaying of 10-year-old Colo. girl Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/04/12/colorado-teen-pleads-not-guilty-in-murder-10-year-old-girl/#ixzz2dt6rZTJR

2. In a plot to kidnap, beat a man and then dump him in the woods to starve, the parents of some of the boys that were plotting this crime turned over information about the alleged plot to the Eagle County Sheriff’s Office and Basalt Police Department. Read more: http://www.vaildaily.com/article/20120420/NEWS/120429983

In Morgan’s case there was neither.  On one hand the parent was, “just protecting his daughter,”  and on the other hand there were county officials that wanted to ignore what was, and had happened.  There was the Garfield County Sheriff Lou Vallario stating on camera for CBS Channel 4 that he would “never open this case.”  At least he knew it was a case.  And the contracted Forensic Pathologist was busily threatening me to stop having Morgan’s doctors, as well as other specialists tell him that she did not die of natural causes.  That at the very least (especially under the circumstances of felony stalking) Morgan’s case should have been written up as undetermined (open an investigation) or homicide (open an investigation).  Who threatens a mother to give up the quest for justice for their daughter?

The only thing that has changed is not where I end, but rather where I start.  You see I have never had to suffer the loss of a murdered daughter before.  And I have never been left with the task of trying to squeeze justice from those that just want us to just go away.  The unbelievable has unfolded within this blog many times.  I now think it is about to take a turn for Morgan.  And if anyone deserves a turn at justice, it is our daughter Morgan.  She cared, and loved, and wanted only to help others.  That much is without doubt.  She was also viciously murdered, and suffered through every attempt that Garfield County has done to hide that fact.

I so dearly wish I could share her smile with the world just one more time, but instead I will have to settle for letting everyone see what really happened to her. And hope that in so doing many more will be saved.  Stalking needs to be taken seriously by all offices of law enforcement (not just some), by all judges (not just some) and no more excuses, no more hidden agendas, we want transparency.  We miss you Morgan, but we will never give up the quest for justice.