Another story to share…

Kathy is a survivor of domestic violence from SOAR, Sisters Overcoming Abusive Relationships. In the link below you will see a video that premiered during Financial Literacy Month, Kathy pays it forward so that they can create a Rhode Island where domestic violence does not exist. ‪#‎PreventDV‬

This would also be considered stalking…another violent and controlling form of stalking. Just because she once dated him doesn’t change the fact that he stalked and abused her. It is horrible and happens all too often. Kathy is extremely lucky she had such a wonderful family and support system.  Remember to always listen to the victim – try to help.  The victim is NEVER to blame – it is the criminal that is to blame. And Kathy is right…together we can change the odds. Share your story.

Share Your Story…

Remember eveshare your story pleaseryone…share your story, shout it out, and say it clear, so the whole world can hear – why – because your story is important, and it just may help save another person.

There are so many others going through similar horrifying situations, and the more we share, the more solutions and attention to the seriousness of stalking will be created.  So please, please share.  I know it’s hard…I have tried to share as well, and there are still things I will not reveal to the general public at this time.  And that’s okay – you don’t have to share your name or the place you are from, just what you have experienced or are experiencing, and what has happened in your situation.  What isn’t working, what has worked, who has helped you, what help you may need from others, or what suggestions you have for others.  It’s all important.

“For a community to be whole and healthy, it must be based on people’s love and concern for each other.” ~ Millard Fuller

 

April 21, 2015 – National Crime Victims’ Rights Week Event in Denver, CO

Tuesday, April 21st: 
National Crime Victims’ Rights Week Event

Location: Denver Wellington Webb Building, Atrium

201 W. Colfax Ave, Denver, CO 80202

Time: 12:00

 

Guest Speakers: 

Cynthia Coffman, Colorado Attorney General 

Tammy Anckner, Author & Accidental Advocate 

Matt Anckner, Survivor & one of the faces of Denver’s ‘Start by Believing’ Campaign 

Karen Klein, Colorado Area Coordinator, HOPE Animal-Assisted Crisis Response 

HOPE AACR “Comfort Canine” Teams will be present during the event

“For a community to be whole and healthy, it must be based on people’s love and concern for each other.” ~ Millard Fuller

Since 1981, National Crime Victims’ Rights Week (NCVRW) has challenged the nation to confront and remove barriers to full justice for all victims of crime. Each year, communities across the country revisit the history of the victims’ rights movement and recommit themselves to advancing the progress already achieved. This year’s theme—Engaging Communities. Empowering Victims.—focuses on the role communities play providing victims with the support they need to pursue justice and recovery.

National Crime Victims’ Rights Week – April 19 – 25, 2015

Yesterday was the first day of this year’s National Crime Victims’ Rights Week April 19-25

Every April, the Office of Victims of Crime (OVC) helps lead communities throughout the country in their annual observances of National Crime Victims’ Rights Week (NCVRW) by promoting victims’ rights and honoring crime victims and those who advocate on their behalf. This year’s NCVRW will be held April 19-25 and the theme Engaging Communities. Empowering Victims. presents the opportunity to highlight the diversity of our communities, expand partnerships to serve victims of crime, enhance efforts to meet victims where they are, and empower crime victims as they pursue justice and recovery.

The U.S. Department of Justice will kick off the week with OVC’s annual National Crime Victims’ Service Awards Ceremony in Washington, DC to honor outstanding individuals and programs that serve victims of crime.

NCVRW honors and celebrates the achievements of the past thirty years in securing rights, protections, and services for victims. The bipartisan Victims of Crime Act (VOCA), passed by Congress in 1984, created a national fund to ease victims’ suffering. Financed by fines and penalties paid by offenders, the Crime Victims Fund supports victim assistance and services, such as rape crisis and domestic violence programs [customize to include local services] and victim compensation programs that pay victims’ out-of-pocket expenses such as counseling, funeral expenses, and lost wages. VOCA has also pioneered support efforts for victims of once-hidden crimes such as domestic and sexual violence. Outreach is increasingly focused on previously underserved victim populations, including victims of color, religious and ethnic minorities, LGBTQ victims, and immigrant populations to name a few. Efforts are being made to ensure that all victims, regardless of their background or the crime committed against them, receive the support they deserve.

“Victim empowerment is a central tenant of our work,” said Joye E. Frost, Director, Office for Victims of Crime (OVC), U.S. Department of Justice. “By engaging the entire community, we are able to maximize and leverage existing resources to better serve all victims of crime and provide the necessary support through their journey to healing. This year’s NCVRW theme emphasizes that we all have a role to play.”

OVC encourages widespread participation in the week’s events and in other victim-related observances throughout the year. For additional information about the 2015 National Crime Victims’ Rights Week or additional ideas on how to support victims of crime, visit the Office for Victims of Crime website, www.ovc.gov.

ENGAGING COMMUNITIES. EMPOWERING VICTIMS

Revenge Stalking…

youshouldknowAnother current victim of stalking recently posted on Morgan’s Stalking Facebook page.  She has been experiencing a horrific revenge stalking.  She said she is working with the authorities and task force, but doesn’t really know whether they completely get it.  It is hard for even the professionals to understand the different kinds of stalking, and even harder to know what to do about it.  I believe there needs to be more training and education for law enforcement because stalking is a very dangerous crime that happens everywhere, and seems to be getting worse every year.
I also believe that awareness of all the different stalking situations, and knowing what others have endured is a really good thing to understand.  The more you know the better you can protect yourself, and your loved ones.  From the bottom of my heart I wish I had known more about stalking, and the different typologies of stalkers, in order to save Morgan.  If I had known then what I know now I still may not have been able to save her, but I think I would have had a much better chance.
On another note I want to address the fact that there are still so many ignorant people on the internet – people that did not know Morgan, or me, or any of the actual facts of her case, but proclaim to know everything.  They write that they think I was overbearing, and that Morgan wasn’t stalked, she was only depressed, and killed herself.  When I hear this, not only do I think this type of ignorance is exactly like those people in the past that used to say victims of rape had it coming, because they wore too short a skirt, or they had on too much make-up, but I also wonder if these type of people are the ones that secretly condone violence against women?  I couldn’t understand back then how people could be so cruel or ignorant, and now years later when I hear or read these words, I now understand that those type of people do still exist…and I feel very sorry for them.  They are so very wrong.  They do a disservice to rape victims, stalking victims, and all victims – victims that did nothing wrong – it is the criminal, the perpetrator that has done the wrong thing, not the victim.
What these people say is not only wrong, but rediculous.  It is completely the opposite of Morgan’s situation.  Morgan was a free spirit – all her friends that really knew her would tell you so.  She always came and went as she wanted.  She always did things because it made her happy – never to make someone else happy.  Morgan understood that in life if you are happy then you can help others be happy – just with a smile. 🙂
Every human being on this earth is different, and when you are blessed with a child like Morgan you can never become overbearing, you do not argue loudly, or fight with them – not only would it break your heart to treat someone like Morgan in that manner, but a free spirit that knows right from wrong, and has a strong sense of herself, would never put up with that type of treatment.  I will agree all day long that after I found out that Morgan was being stalked I thought I was being overprotective, and now I will tell you that I wasn’t protective enough…my daughter was murdered and I couldn’t save her.
Unlike Morgan’s older siblings, cousin and various hockey boys that lived with us over the years, Morgan was not into the normal teenage drama, or materialistic trappings, Morgan was just Morgan.  Kind, sweet, sensitive, and adored by everyone, especially by her father and I.  More than most people she understood how important it was to show people kindness, and love on a daily basis.  I was extremely blessed to have her as my daughter.  She would randomly tell me that she loved me.  It was so sweet to go on errands with Morgan, listen to her explain to me about a letter she was composing to an ex-boyfriend, and then just look at me and say, “I love you mom.”  Even though she was 20 years old she would still just grab my hand and squeeze it, without looking at me, just like when she was a little girl…it was our way to say, “I love you” without saying it out loud in front of other people.  I know it’s hard to understand, but even now, 3 + years after she was stolen from our lives, I will drive around doing errands and when I park my car I look over into the passenger seat, and feel that she is still there – I hold out my hand, and wish I could feel her squeeze it.  The tears start to roll down my checks, and I brush them away, and look out the car window wondering if everyone is looking at the tears rolling down my face.
Morgan was my best friend.  She asked to go on vacations, and road trips with her father and I even though she was over 18, and had no reason to do so.  She said it was because she always had so much fun with us, we would sing and crack jokes in the car on long road trips, always with a new place and a new adventure to look forward to.  Morgan even brought friends along on many trips and her friends had a blast with us as well.  But it was a mutual feeling – Steve and I loved having Morgan with us, along with her friends.  For some reason it always gave us ideas for even more exciting first-time places to go visit with different things to see.  Her friends are still such a wonderful part of our lives – they are great people, they miss Morgan, and always keep in touch, just to let Steve and I know about the important moments they are experiencing in their lives.  I really appreciate this as it helps me feel like Morgan is still involved in moving forward with all her friends.
Morgan was not depressed – Morgan was a victim of stalking.  Morgan did not commit suicide.  And I am not an overly grieving mother that can not accept that my daughter committed suicide.  I am a mother that lived through the horrific events of my youngest daughter’s stalking, and got to see it up close and personal.  Morgan was a victim of felony stalking and she was murdered by her stalker.  This was only days before she was scheduled to be interviewed, on camera to give her statement about her stalker, after 4 months of being terrified.  The doors were closing in on her stalker, and he decided to end her life. The really scary part that others need to realize is if your stalker can kill you in order to shut you up, and the people entrusted with stopping the criminal can just sweep your murder under the rug, and refuse to investigate, then we are all in danger…if criminals can just kill off their victim so they can never testify against them then these murderers remain free to continue their reign of terror!
In Morgan’s case the evidence ALL points to foul play – it all points to who killed her, and the truth will come out.  Crucial and critical evidence has been seen, and Morgan is not the only case that is really a murder that has been written off as a suicide.  Obviously these people on the internet that try to paint Morgan as something she was not have their own agenda and don’t understand (or don’t want to understand) what it is like to be a victim of stalking.  That is one of the big reasons for this blog.  I have been trying to raise awareness about stalking and what a life-changing and devastating ordeal it is to be, or have been, stalked.
So please take the time to really and truly be informed about the truths of stalking.  It may save your life, or someone’s life that you love.
The woman that I started out writing about on this post also wrote the following to me:

Please know I am so, so sorry about Morgan. I’ve read your entire blog. I weep with you in your loss of such a remarkable woman. I feel as if I know you and your family, and her, too. (((HUGS))) God bless you. Thank you for reaching out and sharing her – and your – story. Her story does help all of us stalking survivors be more aware of how terribly destructive stalking is and can be.

It seems that these predators are hellbent on preying on kind, giving women. Mine is an obvious psychopath/sadist, and has a group of people that help him in his “cause”. No one expects that anything so horrific can happen… Unfortunately, this is the 2nd time I’ve been stalked. This time it is far, far worse. The stalking laws are just not harsh enough…