Transcending Trauma…Sharing Your Story

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What I have learned through the journey our family has been on since Morgan’s stalking and murder is that you can’t survive and expect to thrive all on your own after a major tragedy.  Share your story, be around others in a safe place and allow them to help you.  Let others be the wind beneath your wings so you can fly again, so you can continue your purpose on this planet.  The pain of losing a loved one never goes away, it stays with you forever.  You will never be the same and nor should you be.  Sharing your story and allowing others in, that have had similar traumas, does help – trauma support groups do change your perspective.  If you are in the District Heights area of Maryland try and attend, if not maybe this will help you get in contact with a group in your area.  Much love & light to you all!

Private Investigator or Con Artist?

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Why would someone contact grieving families, offer their services, and lie about their credentials?  Preying on families that have been torn to shreds after losing a part of their heart.  Families that want to believe because they need answers…what kind of person lies to these families?  Well, I came in contact with one, as so many other families in my similar situation have dealt with, and here is a story about what recently happened.

Months after Morgan’s death a person named Jacob Ames contacted me through the administrator of Morgan’s Stalking Facebook page.  I was told to just hear him out and he might be able to help us.  I spoke with him over the phone, only once, and trusted my “gut instinct” and very politely told him we were not interested in having a private investigator look into our daughter’s case at the time, because we already had many experts in their fields helping us.  Then I only heard from him once after that, until I decided to help the mother of another young girl that had been brutally murdered in Colorado.

To make a long story short this mother asked me if I had ever heard of a Private Investigator named Jacob Ames.  I remembered that years ago, after this blog had gone live, I had spoken with him and had gotten a “bad” feeling, so I told this mother about my only encounter with him, but that I really did not know anything more than that.  I then received a Facebook message from this man basically asking me what my agenda was and he wanted to know why I was speaking to his “client.”  I never responded to him.  My only concern was with helping a mother find her daughter’s remains, and if she needed me out of the picture while he worked for her that was fine with me, I truly only cared that she received answers as to where her daughter’s body was – she needed to find her daughter.  She then told me that he first made contact with her only 4 days after she reported her daughter missing and before they even knew she had been murdered. She said she turned him away, but he came back; 10 months after her daughter’s murder. She said she really wanted to believe he could help her so she trusted him, but instead of helping, he caused her family even more grief, and she no longer wanted to be associated with him.

She said, “He represented himself to me as a private investigator just weeks after the murder and again the year after.”  She continued on and said, “He spoke (non-stop) about other cases, including ones he had no involvement in; which included Morgan’s case.”  I asked her what he said about Morgan’s case, as we never gave him any information at all.  She said Jacob Ames told her that he investigated the case and Morgan’s brother killed her.  I was shocked! What a sick assertion from a man claiming to be a PI and having never investigated Morgan’s case!  At this point in time I am used to nameless, faceless people on the Internet claiming to “know” what happened to Morgan, but for someone in the state of Colorado to go around spreading heinous hurtful lies under the disguise of being a professional investigator is beyond criminal in my opinion.  It’s bad enough that the Garfield County sheriff and coroner (who used to be Morgan’s felony stalking detective, but is now the coroner) have continued to refuse to look at any new or old evidence and insist on not allowing any other agency to investigate, insisting her death was a suicide. But now this person was out there pretending to be a licensed PI and lying about our daughter’s case…this was over the top!

Needless to say I felt like this person was just out there preying on families that are in an extremely vulnerable state. I also know it really doesn’t matter to the government if someone is lying and causing pain, but it does matter if you can show that the person is actually breaking a state law.  So I contacted DORA – the regulatory board for licensing in Colorado.  I reported this person Jacob Ames.  After a lengthly investigation DORA sent me the following letter:

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Instead of posting the whole cease and desist filed against Jacob Ames I am showing you the main points of what was written in it by DORA.

 

Based upon the Director’s review and consideration, the Director finds that credible evidence exists that Respondent is acting or has acted without the required license, in violation of section 12-58.5-104(1)(b), C.R.S.

 

12-58.5-104. Licensure – title protection – unauthorized practice – penalty. (1)(a) Only a private investigator who obtains a license pursuant to section 12-58.5-106 may present himself or herself as or use the title of a “licensed private investigator”, “private investigator”, “licensed private detective”, or “private detective”.

 

12-58.5-109. Disciplinary actions – grounds for discipline – rules – cease-and-desist orders. (10)(a) If it appears to the director, based upon credible evidence as presented in a written complaint, that a licensee is acting in a manner that is an imminent threat to the health and safety of the public, or if a person is conducting private investigations or presenting himself or herself as or is using the title “private investigator”, “private detective”, or “licensed private investigator” without having obtained a license, the director may issue an order to cease and desist the activity. The director shall set forth in the order the statutes and rules alleged to have been violated, the facts alleged to have constituted the violation, and the requirement that all unlawful acts or unlicensed practices immediately cease.

Now fade in and fade out…this story doesn’t end there, because that was back in July, I was recently asked if my complaint had really done anything.  So of course I checked and was surprised that he was still advertising as a PI.  Then a weeks ago I received the following on an email:

  “Please  circulate the link as far and wide as you can. That’s the best way to call attention to what he’s doing.  Looks like an unlicensed Colorado PI might be getting off easy due to slack from regulators…  Find out the not-so-nice side of investigators that have had complaints filed against them here! 

I do not believe laws and regulations that are set up for the protection of it’s citizens should be allowed to be ignored.  Our local and state governments need checks and balances, as we learned from our founding fathers.  When these laws and regulations are ignored and there is no accountability then why on earth would the “good” guys care about doing the right thing – if it really doesn’t matter?  Food for thought.

Despite other opinions, there has NEVER been an investigation into Morgan’s suspicious death.  I believe the decision to call Morgan’s death natural causes for the first 8 months, as well as the decision to call her death a suicide after that, was purposely done in order to keep her death from ever being investigated.  Because even a finding of “undetermined” would have not only triggered an investigation, but if nothing was ever done her case would eventually have been required to be listed as a cold case and others could then investigate…instead the Garfield County sheriff has never allowed anyone else to investigate her case – stating that he stands behind the finding of the coroner.  He states they just follow the evidence where it leads (wow, wouldn’t that be great if it were true), but unfortunately for Morgan this is just a “sound bite” for the public to hear. There was a massive amount of evidence, but they would not look at it, or follow up on any of it. It was obvious that very morning when they saw Morgan’s body that she had died at the hands of another.  How do I know?  Because years later I finally saw the crime scene photos and it is obvious. Witnesses were not interviewed, tests were not run, obvious mistruths were ignored, evidence was dismissed, and then destroyed.  An obstruction of justice.  Morgan’s murder was buried under contradictory one-line “sound bites” answers.  For example a former Assistant DA (now an Assistant Attorney General) recently said that the District Attorney’s office had investigated Morgan’s death – – not true, but why would anyone doubt him?  And yet, it was not true, and he knows it’s not true.  Steve and I had met with the DA and tried to have her open an investigation. Following that meeting she sent us a letter stating there would be no investigation, and that she stood behind the coroner’s decision.  You can’t have it both ways, but if people only listen to the short “sound bites” and believe them then I guess in Colorado you can have it both ways. If you think this sounds political – you are thinking the same thing many others have sadly concluded about Morgan’s case.  This is political and the truth has no bearing when that happens.

Does this mean we will give up?  No!  We will never give up and I personally know Morgan will receive justice.  The truth can not stay buried forever – no matter how hard people try.  And as far as I am concerned people that knowingly spread lies and obstruct the truth in order to protect and cover for the perpetrator of a capital crime should all be prosecuted as co-conspirators.  And there is a law against just that – just more food for thought.

Another Victim of Stalking Using Her Voice…

So proud of Megann.  She has endured a horrific stalking, which has caused her to seek shelter in a safe house more than once.  The following article that she posted with her local newspaper was in an effort to warn others about the seriousness of stalkers, and to raise awareness in her community.  I encouraged Megann to write to the newspaper in order to get her story out, as well as a way of helping other victims as well.

Megann has had protection orders against her stalker that have been broken.  She has been to court many times.  She is a fighter, and yet her stalking has continued.  Please read the article below.  I believe if we all use our voices and tell our stories change will ultimately happen.  So say it loud and say it clear – and people will hear you.

Letter: The horror of stalking

Bullies And Stalkers…

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Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict.

Sounds to me like a person that is a bully can easily make the transition to becoming a stalker.

Below is a link to a resource that brings the dangers of bullying to the public’s attention. This is a good resource for your community. I’ve included a link to their bullying awareness and prevention guide:

http://www.learnpsychology.org/now/bullying/

Educating ourselves about these things really does help, not only in expanding our awareness, but gives us good lessons in our ever-evolving pursuit to keep our children safe in this society.