Author Archives: Toni Ingram

Not a victim of stalking? Are you kidding me?

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Crazy as it seems, there have been a small group of people that keep insisting that our daughter Morgan Ingram was not even a victim of stalking.  I guess it doesn’t matter to them what the truth is.  They don’t seem deterred by the fact that she was murdered during an ACTIVE investigation into her stalking only 2 days after her felony stalking detective warned us that he believed her stalking was about to escalate and he would be assigning additional patrols to our home.

The forensic pathologist, Dr. Kurtzman, who did our daughter Morgan’s autopsy, has had his credentials as a doctor questioned by nearly every expert that has reviewed both of his Postmortem Report’s. He concluded on the first report that Morgan died of natural causes, and then after threats that he would change it to suicide if I, Toni Ingram (Morgan’s mom) didn’t back off from questioning him, he did in fact change it to suicide.

That same pathologist, Kurtzman, also wrote, in both reports, that Morgan was the victim of stalking (because she was – she was murdered during an ACTIVE felony stalking investigation), yet there are still a small group of people out on the Internet (and they know who they are, and what their agenda is) claiming that there was never a stalking.  This is the worst form of victim bashing there is.  Why?  Because these sick people are protecting the criminals. They have had a consistent, relentless agenda for the last 5 years as they continually bash the victim…using deceitful tactics, giving out misinformation, changing the facts, and outright lying.  They are always acting like they have pure, unmotivated reasons for their actions, which is absolutely untrue…the bottom line is that they are lying and victim-blaming / victim-bashing – and this is pure evil! Lies help criminals get aways with their crimes – it allows murderers to still live among us.

“Viciousness is part of the world we live in, some of us choose to ignore it with the rationalisation of wanting only positivity to flow our way. How selfish we have become! That the pain of others has become a hindrance to the fulfilment of our positive selves.” – Aysha Taryam

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So many times crimes begin with stalking.  Many times you read about a case of burglary, rape, kidnapping among many other types of crimes, but what you usually don’t read about in the news is that many of these cases involved the victim being stalked, and surveilled, before the crime happened.

This article talks about a woman that listened to her “intuition” or “gut feeling” and did a smart thing in this case – possibly saving herself from becoming a victim.  She shared her story on Facebook in order to raise awareness, and warn other women to be on the lookout.  I believe this is just another type of stalking story – whether the predator watches and stalks someone for 30 minutes, or 30 years, it is still a precursor to a dangerous situation. For someone to have wrapped a shirt around this woman’s wiper blade, it is much more likely that someone “knew” a single woman would be getting in this car…they knew her routine, and were lying in wait.

http://www.9news.com/mb/news/womans-facebook-warning-about-shirt-wrapped-around-windshield-wiper-goes-viral/411917785

 

How can you help a victim of stalking?

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There are many ways you can help a victim of stalking:

BELIEVE – LISTEN – RESPECT – SUPPORT – EMPOWER

SPEAK OUT – RESPOND

You CAN make a difference in someone’s life.  You can help STOP a stalker.

Be Authentic…

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A good friend of mine, one that I have immense respect for, wrote, “You know you’re living an authentic life when everyone doesn’t like you…you said no, drew lines in the sand, spoke up or perhaps said nothing, and it was wildly unpopular. An intention only to please others and to be liked, is a disease that has filled cemeteries all over the world.”

Such a profound statement…

Most of my life I tried to be kind to others, probably to a fault.  I didn’t want to share any bad news, no negativity.  I never wanted to talk about problems – to me there were no problems, only challenges to be overcome.  I was always trying to lift people’s spirits, as it was very important to me.

Then after Morgan was murdered, smiling on the outside, while I was dying on the inside, finally got to be too exhausting.  I started to open up more and more with people.  I started to share the facts about what happened to Morgan.  Next I made a shocking discovery, as many other parents of murdered children do…most people, sometimes even your own family, and friends, don’t want to know what happened – they don’t want to talk about it, they don’t even want to bring up your child’s name.  There are many reasons for this.  Sometimes they are so upset they want to just “forget” about it, because they can’t cope, sometimes they don’t know how to talk about it, because it makes them “uncomfortable,” and sometimes they want you to “just get over it,” so they can have their friend back the way they used to be.  And I am sure there are many more reasons people have for not wanting to talk about it – but none of those reasons really work for me.  I realize it is not my job in life to change their opinions.  I had to realize those people would no longer be involved in my life.

Through the pain of losing my youngest daughter I have learned to be authentic.  I speak my mind, for myself, for Morgan, and for all other victims as well…all those who can no longer speak for themselves.  I chose to be upfront, honest, and push forward towards justice with love.  If others don’t like it, that is fine with me – this is my life, not theirs.  I know I can’t make everyone happy, so I no longer try.  I believe in the path I have chosen, and that path gives me happiness.  Being of service to other victims, and co-victims brings warm happiness to my heart.  The pain of losing Morgan never goes away – I just learn to live with it.  I are forever changed because a piece of my heart is missing, and I know deep down that I am still here for a reason.  I know it is now my turn to try to make a difference in this world, and in doing so I honor my precious daughter Morgan.

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

To understand grief a little better here is a pretty good article to read…it can help you talk with a friend who really needs you after a great loss in their life.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17928/what-i-wish-more-people-understood-about-losing-a-child.html

 

 

 

 

 

The Missing Frog Prince…from a Valentine’s Day long ago

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 HERE IS A PICTURE OF THE LITTLE FROG PRINCE KEYCHAIN I BOUGHT FROM RED ENVELOPE IN 2009.  IT WAS A VALENTINE’S PRESENT FOR MORGAN – IT IS STILL MISSING, AND HAS NEVER BEEN FOUND!

Today on Valentine’s Day, as I closed my eyes to remember Morgan, another memory “appeared” in my mind.  This happens to me quite often.  They are always important pieces to the puzzle that have to do with Morgan’s case. On the morning of December 2, 2011, when so many things were happening, it was just too much to process.  We had just found our youngest daughter, dead in her bed.  We were in shock.  We were in pain.  And yet we did hear what was being said, and we did retain it.

I have mentioned to other parents, of recently murdered children, that for me it was like hundreds of little puzzle pieces constantly swirling above my head, and all you want is for them to fall into place, in order to show a “complete” picture of what happened to my child.  Then I see these parents open their eyes wide, as if surprised and happy that someone expressed what they themselves have been feeling.  What I usually hear them say, is “Yes, that is exactly it!”

So when the memory of this little keychain “appeared” in my mind I immediately knew why.  The morning of Morgan’s murder, when her felony stalking detective, Garfield County Sheriff Rob Glassmire, asked me if Morgan was missing a keychain, i looked at the rack where we all hung our keys, and said no. The keychain Morgan used to drive the car (my keychain), the one with the front door key on it to the new lock we had put on our front door, was hanging on the rack.  But what I hadn’t remembered that morning was that Morgan did have her own keychain, the one with this little frog prince on it.  I didn’t remember because Morgan had not used it since a couple of weeks after the stalking had started.

Why hadn’t she used her keychain?  Because her car had almost 300,000 miles on it at the time, and was having some mechanical problems.  So when we realized she had a stalker(s) I told her I would prefer she just drive my car, as a safety precaution.  Then when our front door lock started to break, and Steve replaced it, my keychain only had the new front door key on it – the old key was no longer on my keychain.

And why does it matter if her keychain was never found after her murder?  Because it not only had her car key on it, but it also had the old front door key on it.  And that matters because that key also opened the door into the house from the garage, and possibly unlocked the french door from the back patio into the master bedroom – but I never thought of that at the time.  Then after we had gone through all of Morgan’s things and packed them up to move, I realized her keychain was no where to be found.  We looked everywhere, but never found it.  We reported this to the detective, but like so many other details in her case he had no interest in the missing keychain.  Someone knows where this keychain is and could lead us to even more answers.

If you live in Colorado, and if you ever remember seeing someone that may be connected with Morgan’s case, with this same keychain, please contact Northern Colorado Crimes Stoppers.  The process is completely secure and anonymous.  Tips can be sent via telephone, text or email at 800-222-TIPS or 800-222-8477 or via the web at https://www.tipsubmit.com/webtips.aspx?AgencyID=361&DSID=361 or by text or SMS, Text “NOCO (plus your message)” to 274637. Upon reception of your first incoming message, the system will auto-reply with a confirmation containing your unique Tip ID., To submit follow-up information, you simply reply.  Nothing else is needed.  All follow-up tips, and even your replies from the application, are written under the original record.  They are shown threaded and date/time stamped in the narrative.  The thread may be terminated by the text STOP at any time.  You can also manually select the “Terminate Thread” button from within the application.

All calls are anonymous and all communications are encoded and encrypted.

There is a reward available for any tips that lead to an arrest in Morgan’s case – thank you!