Victims deserve justice, families deserve justice – it’s as simple as that…

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FOHVAMP

This past Fall, on September 30th, I flew to Denver, CO in order to attend quite a few meetings – one of which was the FOHVAMP Annual Meeting and Cold Case Domestic Homicide Study, “The People VS George Ruibal,” on Saturday, October 1st.

After I landed and checked into my hotel I found out from a friend that this very evening, Friday, September 30th, was a Black Moon Eclipse!  I was then told that Chani Nicholas said this new moon is in Libra –  it is actually called the JUSTICE MOON because the sign for Libra is the “scales of justice”… this was a really a positive sign for me to hear on this evening before the FOHVAMP meeting.  Here is the link to what she says about the new moon http://chaninicholas.com/2016/09/new-moon-in-libra-horoscopes-for-the-week-of-september-26th/

scales-316888_1280

I was extremely honored to have been appointed the position as the West Coast Regional Director, representing FOHVAMP (Families of Homicide and Missing Persons, and OCCA (Organization of Cold Case Advocates). I was also very excited about connecting with some of the Colorado co-victims that I had been working with.

I met one of my friends from Northern California shortly after my plane landed.  The other 2 in our group had had their flight delayed, so my friend and I left in an Uber for the hotel.  After many hours enjoying the company of my friends and associates from the JS Intuitive Investigations Alliances, of which I am proud to announce that I am the Law Enforcement Investigations Case Manager, I excused myself and went up to my room to get some long needed rest.

I opened the curtains to my room and gazed out at the sites of Denver.  I felt a twinge of sadness that I no longer lived in Colorado.  Then I asked out loud, “Morgan, tomorrow’s a big day, please send me a sign.”  After that I went to sleep.  The next morning while getting ready to go to the meeting, I called Steve.  This is when something very strange happened. My phone was set on speaker, after I clicked on Steve’s number I had laid it on the counter top on speaker phone – I heard it start to ring Steve’s number, then all of a sudden, out of the blue, it started playing the song by the Beatles “With a Little Help From My Friends.”  It was not only playing the song, but it was playing it REALLY LOUD!  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-uTocAlIyw

I had no idea how to turn it off – I was shocked, then all of a sudden it went silent and I heard Steve’s voice say, “Hello.”  I told him what had just happened.  I asked him if he knew why my cell phone just started playing that song, then all of a sudden stopped when he said hello.  He laughed and said, “It was Morgan sending you a sign that everything that is about to unfold this weekend will be fine, and you will get by with a little help from your friends.  Now why didn’t I realize that?  It made perfect sense.  My team from JS Intuitive Investigation Alliances had flown in with me to attend the meetings.  Well I guess “signs” are always coming to us, but we don’t always recognize all of them. 🙂  After I “got it” I said thank you to Morgan out loud.

fohvamp

Toni Ingram, Jennifer Shaffer, Rob Wells, Michelle Eddins and Joyce Jackson

Having had a great meeting, earning my P.O.S.T. credits, talking with some amazing people that are doing amazing work in Colorado for the families of victims, and spending time with some of the co-vicitims that I have worked with over the years, left me feeling really wonderful by the end of the day.  The next meeting was just as enlightening.

The following day was very special, as I watched and helped as my “Team” gave of their time (as always) to grieving parents.  The time passed so fast that before I knew it it was time to head back to the airport.  Taking one last look towards the snow-capped mountains, I felt a pull at my heart.  I love Colorado, and yet until things change, I do not want to live there.  Since my trip to October I remember my thoughts, and know it is up to me to make sure these changes take place.  Yes, I know I have done a lot – I know I have helped many…and yet I have not done the last things Steve and I have known all along we would have to do…tell Morgan’s whole story.  Yes, I have told her story, and it was painful, but not her whole story.  We also held back information, always in the hope that the state of Colorado would open her investigation, but they didn’t.  Not to say they didn’t try, but it didn’t happen.  So now we keep climbing up higher and higher, knowing that eventually our voices will be heard.  Cross your fingers that 2017 will be the year of justice for Morgan.

When it comes to capital murder, luckily there is no statute of limitation.  Because justice is a RIGHT!

Not a victim of stalking? Are you kidding me?

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Crazy as it seems, there have been a small group of people that keep insisting that our daughter Morgan Ingram was not even a victim of stalking.  I guess it doesn’t matter to them what the truth is.  They don’t seem deterred by the fact that she was murdered during an ACTIVE investigation into her stalking only 2 days after her felony stalking detective warned us that he believed her stalking was about to escalate and he would be assigning additional patrols to our home.

The forensic pathologist, Dr. Kurtzman, who did our daughter Morgan’s autopsy, has had his credentials as a doctor questioned by nearly every expert that has reviewed both of his Postmortem Report’s. He concluded on the first report that Morgan died of natural causes, and then after threats that he would change it to suicide if I, Toni Ingram (Morgan’s mom) didn’t back off from questioning him, he did in fact change it to suicide.

That same pathologist, Kurtzman, also wrote, in both reports, that Morgan was the victim of stalking (because she was – she was murdered during an ACTIVE felony stalking investigation), yet there are still a small group of people out on the Internet (and they know who they are, and what their agenda is) claiming that there was never a stalking.  This is the worst form of victim bashing there is.  Why?  Because these sick people are protecting the criminals. They have had a consistent, relentless agenda for the last 5 years as they continually bash the victim…using deceitful tactics, giving out misinformation, changing the facts, and outright lying.  They are always acting like they have pure, unmotivated reasons for their actions, which is absolutely untrue…the bottom line is that they are lying and victim-blaming / victim-bashing – and this is pure evil! Lies help criminals get aways with their crimes – it allows murderers to still live among us.

“Viciousness is part of the world we live in, some of us choose to ignore it with the rationalisation of wanting only positivity to flow our way. How selfish we have become! That the pain of others has become a hindrance to the fulfilment of our positive selves.” – Aysha Taryam

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So many times crimes begin with stalking.  Many times you read about a case of burglary, rape, kidnapping among many other types of crimes, but what you usually don’t read about in the news is that many of these cases involved the victim being stalked, and surveilled, before the crime happened.

This article talks about a woman that listened to her “intuition” or “gut feeling” and did a smart thing in this case – possibly saving herself from becoming a victim.  She shared her story on Facebook in order to raise awareness, and warn other women to be on the lookout.  I believe this is just another type of stalking story – whether the predator watches and stalks someone for 30 minutes, or 30 years, it is still a precursor to a dangerous situation. For someone to have wrapped a shirt around this woman’s wiper blade, it is much more likely that someone “knew” a single woman would be getting in this car…they knew her routine, and were lying in wait.

http://www.9news.com/mb/news/womans-facebook-warning-about-shirt-wrapped-around-windshield-wiper-goes-viral/411917785

 

How can you help a victim of stalking?

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There are many ways you can help a victim of stalking:

BELIEVE – LISTEN – RESPECT – SUPPORT – EMPOWER

SPEAK OUT – RESPOND

You CAN make a difference in someone’s life.  You can help STOP a stalker.

Be Authentic…

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A good friend of mine, one that I have immense respect for, wrote, “You know you’re living an authentic life when everyone doesn’t like you…you said no, drew lines in the sand, spoke up or perhaps said nothing, and it was wildly unpopular. An intention only to please others and to be liked, is a disease that has filled cemeteries all over the world.”

Such a profound statement…

Most of my life I tried to be kind to others, probably to a fault.  I didn’t want to share any bad news, no negativity.  I never wanted to talk about problems – to me there were no problems, only challenges to be overcome.  I was always trying to lift people’s spirits, as it was very important to me.

Then after Morgan was murdered, smiling on the outside, while I was dying on the inside, finally got to be too exhausting.  I started to open up more and more with people.  I started to share the facts about what happened to Morgan.  Next I made a shocking discovery, as many other parents of murdered children do…most people, sometimes even your own family, and friends, don’t want to know what happened – they don’t want to talk about it, they don’t even want to bring up your child’s name.  There are many reasons for this.  Sometimes they are so upset they want to just “forget” about it, because they can’t cope, sometimes they don’t know how to talk about it, because it makes them “uncomfortable,” and sometimes they want you to “just get over it,” so they can have their friend back the way they used to be.  And I am sure there are many more reasons people have for not wanting to talk about it – but none of those reasons really work for me.  I realize it is not my job in life to change their opinions.  I had to realize those people would no longer be involved in my life.

Through the pain of losing my youngest daughter I have learned to be authentic.  I speak my mind, for myself, for Morgan, and for all other victims as well…all those who can no longer speak for themselves.  I chose to be upfront, honest, and push forward towards justice with love.  If others don’t like it, that is fine with me – this is my life, not theirs.  I know I can’t make everyone happy, so I no longer try.  I believe in the path I have chosen, and that path gives me happiness.  Being of service to other victims, and co-victims brings warm happiness to my heart.  The pain of losing Morgan never goes away – I just learn to live with it.  I are forever changed because a piece of my heart is missing, and I know deep down that I am still here for a reason.  I know it is now my turn to try to make a difference in this world, and in doing so I honor my precious daughter Morgan.

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.”
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

To understand grief a little better here is a pretty good article to read…it can help you talk with a friend who really needs you after a great loss in their life.

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-17928/what-i-wish-more-people-understood-about-losing-a-child.html