Snow on Mount Sopris

Today seems like one of those oh wow moments.  I have wondered, and I have really questioned the actions of some people out there who seem to take absolute enjoyment in painting Morgan into something she was not…not even close.

I raised all my children to question, and I believe that is healthy.  Accepting things at face value is easily the best recipe for disaster.  But then, stalkers are just plain bad people, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.  Peeping Toms, perverts, invaders of privacy for sexual gratification, or whatever else you want to call them – they all fall right into the same bad group, and I believe with all my heart Morgan’s perp was all of those.

So assuming we are people of the earth that care, how or why in the world would you do anything to support these creeps. C. H., who lived down the street, separated from J. H. at the time, and mother of B. H., whom you saw on the Dr. Phil Show, developed this pattern where she would spread a rumor, a falsehood, a big old lie about why the Sheriff’s Deputies were in the neighborhood, the following morning after an incident happened at our house.

Some of those lies might sound familiar now as I hear they keep making the rounds on the social media sites.  First was, Morgan went missing last night, that’s why the Deputies were at B.H.’s house last night, pounding on the door off and on for a half hour.  Never mind B. H. came out asking if they had a search warrant, and insisted the person they were there to talk to, K. J. VanG., she said was sleeping soundly, and could not be disturbed.  We could hear the knocking from our house, and we were only 3 houses away!

Then there was a story that she told the neighbors that the stalker was Morgan’s ex-boyfriend, Morgan had two ex-boyfriends, but to make it easy both were REALLY out of the state for most of the entire time of her stalking.  Then came, “the stalker was caught, no more need to worry.”  Why would someone cook up these stories lacking that oh so important element – truth?  These lies were to protect a stalker, diffuse attention, muddy the waters – who was she trying to protect?  And here is the thing about that.  Either you are against stalking, and want it stopped, or you don’t.  I can’t see how you can have any middle ground on this one.  Stalking is bad, its horrific, or do you think stalking is just fine?  There is no kind of ok when it comes to stalking.

My position is simply stated, there is absolutely no place in this world for stalking.  I’m against it 100%.  Now if you make up stories about the Deputies being in the neighborhood for an innocent reason when they were really there because of a stalker, what is your motive? The Deputies even knew the door to knock on to talk to the stalker, he just never answered.  Was it because he was dressed in black with mud on his elbows from crawling through the bushes?  But that is for another day.

After separate interviews with B.H. and C.H. about these very rumors, Morgan’s lead detective came back finding humor in the fact the B.H. said she got all her information from her mom, C.H. and C.H. said she got all her information from her daughter, B.H.  Talking to Steve and I later, he wondered aloud, “wouldn’t you think they could at least get their stories straight?”  He noted in his report that he detected deception.  The joke of it all was instantly gone I’m sure when Morgan was found dead.  Not really just an innocent series of lies then is it?

Then C.H. took the opportunity of Morgan’s death to say she had heard that Morgan committed suicide, nice rumor.  But this was six months before Dr. Kurtzman changed his mind, and did change it to suicide, her manner of death for the first 8 + months was natural causes.  Could she have known something we did not?  Was Morgan’s murder supposed to look like a suicide?  And her ex-husband J.H. said he heard from someone that Morgan said Steve and I were overreacting to the stalking situation.  Come on J. H., she was killed, overreacting?  If anything wouldn’t you think we totally under reacted?

So since today many seem to be questioning what really did happen to Morgan, I might as well fan the flames.  You see we now know that Morgan was killed by chemicals, a toxic mixture of chemicals.  This fact was not known for months after her death on December 2, 2011.  Dr. Dobersen was the first to confirm that fact back in April of 2012, many months before Dr. Kurtzman would decide that an additional test was needed, and then based on those results decided basically the same thing, except for the suicide angle, that was thought to be off the table, something I didn’t have to worry about, because, well the facts just didn’t support it.

Getting back to the chemicals, many doctors have looked at, and interpreted those chemicals, the levels, the timing, the locations.  And making another analogy completely different you can agree there is an amount of alcohol that says you can’t drive a car safely.  No matter how tall or short or heavy or thin, or even what time it is, or what you had your last meal…nothing matters else matters, your blood alcohol is all that matters – one amount for the whole country.

The chemicals that killed Morgan are not all that different.  What chemicals do in a human body can be predicted accurately enough for a conclusion.  The amount that would kill Morgan can be accurately predicted, and what would happen to those chemicals in her body after she died can also be predicted, less accurately, but far, far closer than they were.

The fact that Morgan was killed by a toxic mix of chemicals should have been known right when the first toxicology results came back.  So many specialists have looked at Morgan’s results since, and have been unanimous, 100%, no one can see how that level was ignored and called insignificant.  They say it in different ways, but in the end  you can’t ignore an Amitriptyline level of 7,909 ng./mg. in a 115 pound woman less than 16 hours after her death even with Postmortem Redistribution (PER).

If you are really bored try to find someone qualified who thinks it is even remotely possible that this level was insignificant.  Steve and I have not been selective at all.  We looked for the most qualified doctors, with the best credentials and they just happen to all agree.  Which of course means they all disagree with Dr. Kurtzman (the forensic pathologist), and how is that?  If it was 6 yes, and 6 no, I probably wouldn’t still be writing a Blog about her death, I’d be focusing on stalkers, but first things first here.  Steve and I have had the big toxicology book spun around, and slid across desk tops with a single finger tapping on the all important number in the chart, usually followed by words of pure certainty.  Some of them do the math in their head, reporting the progress out loud until they arrive at a number, which is then compared with her toxicology report number of 7,909 with all the same words of certainty.

And then comes the certainty of what happened to Morgan that night.  It’s not just in the magnitude of that one number, but in a human response to that level in a stomach vs. the blood, and ratios, and volumes, and locations.  It is quite a science, if you know what you are doing, which Dr, Kurtzman obviously did not.  A point Steve and I have heard far too many times when it was our daughter who was the one that died.  Especially when it all adds up to a killer still on the loose.  And yes, not to be any more vague than I have to be, this is all based on one assumption I am allowing myself.  That one assumption I am allowing myself is just this…that the stalker, the peeping tom, the pervert, the person that was basically thumbing his nose at law enforcement the night our camera caught him watching the Sheriff’s Deputies leaving, as he was standing in our driveway – and the person who gave her all these chemicals – are one in the same person.  Even Dr. Phil raised the question, and in case you missed my answer to him, it hasn’t changed – I can not believe that the person terrorizing Morgan for 4 months just decided to take that night off, and some random stranger just broke into our house and decided to kill Morgan…that is a little too far-fetched for me.

I believe the person who stalked and terrorized my daughter for four months is the same person who killed her that night.  There was not suddenly a new person for the evening.  But then I guess that will hopefully be up to a jury someday to decide, to look at everything that happened, and how it happened, and what all these numbers really add up to, and then make a decision, beyond a reasonable doubt or not.  Kind of like are you for stalking or against it, no middle ground, just yes or no, a black or white decision.

You may question this all so much that you really can’t tell, not yet.  And I really would not hold that against anyone.  If you are not sure if Morgan’s murderer was the same person that stalked her right up to that night or even if she had a murderer at all, that is your opinion.  But then again you don’t have all the information and evidence we have, and unfortunately we can not put it all out there yet.

But let’s at least stay together on one thing.  Stalkers are bad people, they cause massive emotional destruction, and physical damage to their victims, and they need to be stopped, every last one of them, if we can.  To be believed, and to be protected would mean so much to so many victims out there – and they deserve it – just because no one deserves to be stalked and live in fear.

Morgan’s ferret Mocha peeking out of a bag

There is such a day… and over the past year I have looked back on that day so many times.  We all knew there was danger, Morgan, Steve and I, but obviously we did not really know the extent of the danger.  But that is the story you know from the Blog of Morgan’s Stalking.  There are many other stories of the past year ,and now I want to share this one with you.

Very surprisingly, and unexpectedly since the day that Morgan was murdered, I have met people who have been through similar situations, all with different outcomes; however with a very similar thread to all our experiences.

We all thought we were being abundantly cautious.  We had all taken protective measures that may seem extreme to others, but were obviously not extreme enough.  And we all had that one night where one breakdown followed another until, much to our total dismay, our defenses were down.  And we all sort of independently thought, on that particular night, what are the odds? Or even, just this once, I can relax for one night, and everything will be alright.  And we did – relax that one night – and no, it was not alright.  Far from alright, it all went wrong, so horribly wrong.  Not just for Steve and I, and Morgan, but for many others who have shared their experiences with me.

As the last two weeks of Morgan’s life have been pieced together with as close to microscopic precision as Steve and I, and so many others helping us have been able to achieve things have surfaced.  So many things came to light that we would have never known.  So many seemingly innocent incidents that added together for Morgan to even be home on the evening of December 1st.

The night before she had a pleasantly unexpected ex-boyfriend sleep over on our couch – he wanted to add his watchful eyes and ears to ours, and on the night before that, she “felt “the stalker’s” presence, and heard his noises”, until she could take it no longer and went to the home of a grandmother she baked with.  The next evening (the evening after she was murdered) she would most likely have been gone for the weekend babysitting for our proud military families at their retreat in Frisco, CO.  And the move of our family would have officially begun in all likelihood the next week after that.

And here was that one night, as Steve and I have fatefully learned, where so many things were stacked against Morgan.  We learned that Morgan had asked to sleep over at a friends aunt’s house that night but it didn’t work out so she came home.  Whereas Tessi (our dog) was closed up in the back of the house in our room, very unusual.  Where I took extra sleeping aids because the exhaustion of Morgan’s Stalking had become too much.  When Steve moved a key motion detector because the suddenly increased Deputy patrols with their equipment laden trucks were setting it off at all hours of the night.  When an inside monitor suddenly failed, and was left off for the night.  And at least a few more I just can’t remember right now.  And we all know the outcome, sorry Louise, Morgan did not take her life, and even if she had it would still be a crime caused by the stalker, and his accomplices, and those covering for him.  But far too much evidence exists to dismiss the presence of at least one other in Morgan’s room that night.  We now know with complete certainty the reality that no parent ever wants to believe…our daughter was murdered in her own room, while we were sound asleep on the other side of the house.

In my grief I heard similar stories, and they did not register until much later.  Something that has been with me very much so since Morgan’s death.  Stories of alarms that were malfunctioning, and off for just one night.  Of tarps, and scaffolding in place at the neighbor’s house that conveniently concealed the criminal.  Of car keys that were thought to be missing, but were not missing at all, instead in use by the criminal with a new perfect hiding spot.  Of dogs that were at the vets for overnight observation, after suddenly taking ill.  The list goes on and on.  And because of all these mishaps that took place, something horrific happened to others on that one particular night when everything seemed to have gone wrong.

MISTAKE – letting your guard down in a crisis situation.  Stalking is a crisis situation, invasion of privacy for sexual gratification is a crisis situation.  The only thing you really know is how long it has been since the last time your perpetrator terrorized you.  And you know very well that most likely there will be a next time, and while you accept that fact, you do not know when it will be.

While you should not have to ever live in fear, you must also be extra vigilant on those nights when it seems like things are randomly, suddenly all going wrong.  Human nature to accept that there is a simple explanation for it all.  I did, Steve did, and now I have met many others who did.  We might have all been worried, but convinced ourselves that everything was going to be just fine.

Which brings up an obvious point, when I look back on the combination of events that came together by coincidence for one night, and I say coincidence, because there are events that were beyond the control of Morgan’s tormentor.  How much of a coincidence is it that is the night he chose too?  Too much of a coincidence?  I think so.

I think that stalkers and sexual perverts either get quickly exposed, and caught because they are inept at remaining undetected.  Or they have mastered remaining undetected and are rarely, if ever, caught red-handed, or have eyewitness testimony, and things of that nature.  They are only caught through trace evidence, DNA matches, a fatal slip up they never realized they had made until it was too late for them.

This all leads to one explanation that most do not like to think of.  What if your tormentor is there far more often than you ever realized?  What if sometimes you are aware of his presence and other times you are not?  What if the time that all seems so quiet and calm is the most dangerous?

My goal is not to further frighten other victims, but to further raise awareness of managing the dangers.  Because to help save others is to help make their radar one degree more intense.  Maybe the world is just not as safe a place as it once was, and we are all adjusting to that.  But I also want you all to know, parents and children alike, that to be just a little more cautious is a good thing.  To trust your instincts, even when your mind tells you something else.  Morgan was definitely not alone statistic wise, and the last thing she would wish is for you to join her.  Be happy, enjoy life, but please, be safe.