Mother’s Day 2016…with a little help from the other side :)

Morgan looking down

If you want to give light to others you have to glow yourself – Thomas M. Monson

Today is Mother’s Day and it started out like it always has for me these past 4 years, with non-stop tears…but then all of a sudden an old email popped up on my phone.  Was it merely a coincidence, or was it a reminder to me about Morgan’s light, a light that is still shining today, just as brightly as it had before her life on earth was taken from her?

Morgan did glow…always, from the moment she was born.  And Morgan was all about helping others her whole life, and I believe she still is helping others.

I read the following email, and if a heart could smile, mine did.

Mrs. Ingram,

I wrote you a few months ago to share a small bit of our(my daughter’s and I) stories and also a thank you for being such a vocal activist on behalf of all victims. You truly are amazing for all you do. I wanted to also say thank you for posting your blog about Morgan and all she had to endure, I am grateful I was brought to your site for more reasons then one. 

In December when I wrote I thought everything was good again. The man who stalked my daughter had been kicked out of his parents house and he was living in another town. My daughter who is 13 was finally getting back into a normal routine and we could all breathe a little easier. Unfortunately this was to change in mid to late January. 
He moved back in. Now we live in a small neighborhood where most everyone has lived here for 20+ years. I grew up in this neighborhood, it was home. It became hell soon again. We don’t have the same bus stop anymore it is now closer to our house and didn’t have to pass his to get to it. Things in the yard started moving again. Tapping on the front window started. Unlucky for us it’s a three story house and all the bedrooms are on the second and third floor so he couldn’t bother the girls as they were sleeping, only me late at night. 
Weird things happened to our animals. I raise rabbits and some got sick, very sick. We couldn’t find a reason but one by one they started to die. I put up a few trail cams but nothing ever showed up. Then I put heavy duty locks on the outside pen and changed the lock on the barn. The deaths stopped. I took down the trail cams after that and but them away. We have cameras up in the house with a nice alarm system so I never thought about it again. Then more things moved in the yard. More tapping. 
This is where I must stop to thank you. Everything you and your husband did helped lay the groundwork for us to catch him in the act. But I also have to say thank you to Morgan because I am positive, a 1000% she is the one who brought me back to your site last week. 
We copied what you did in the beginning. Watered the soil, sensors, more cameras, and a lot of caution. I also did some other things like a homemade spike strip so to speak, and some other little surprises that if stepped on he was going to get hurt, badly. We noticed a few “hot stops” that he seemed to like to go to in the yard. Every one of them was ready to go. We got shoe impressions. We had hot spots in our yard leading to the woods next to us on the thermal imager, unfortunately he walked into the stream and we lost them. Now for the HUGE thing and where Morgan plays a huge role. I was on our deck contemplating our next move when I glanced at our side door. It is on the dark side of our house and easily the most accessible at night, yes we have a motion sensor light but it is only triggered in a certain range. I was just looking at the door and I got chills and I read your blog again from start to finish. Every time I read about the trail cams I got that sudden chill again. I went back out the next day and placed the cams so they where facing the door. I swear I felt a hand on my back patting it, telling me this was a good thing.
It rained the past week, for our state we have had the weirdest weather this year to almost no snow to a lot of cold rain the past two months. I didn’t think much about the cams because of the weather. My young son came to me and said he thought he had heard something close to the basement the night before. Side note he often sleeps in our tv room because he is afriad of the dark. It is right above our 2nd basement and where the side door is. 
I went out and checked the cam. There where seven pictures. He was trying to break in through that door! I called the police, reported it, they came out and arrested him. It was Morgan I am sure of it, she was looking out for my daughter. 
Never give up your fight for justice. I believe in you, your husband, and most of all Morgan.
Thank you again.
So for all the moms out there I wish you a wonderful Mother’s Day with your children – hold them close whatever age they are, because they are your most precious possession.  And for all the moms out there that have lost a child I wish you the warmth of knowing that the bond between a mother and child can never be severed…not even in death.  It still hurts, and I believe it always will, it’s painful not having your child with you like they were before, but trust me they are still there just in a different way.  The love you shared is still all around you, and the more you share that love, as well as their story, the more others will benefit…this is what I believe is meant about shining your light.  Much love to my other 2 wonderful children, as well as my 2 fabulous grandchildren – all of whom called me this morning to send their love, and much love to all of you as well.

Wylah Misses Morgan – Justice for Morgan!

Wylah waiting for Morgan

Dennis Crowley from Wheels of Hope for the Missing wrote the following:

Who is Morgan Jennifer Ingram?

“No man is an island, entire of itself.” ~ John Donne

Whether we choose to recognize it or not, our lives do affect the world around us. To be honest, I don’t think I have truly become aware of the reality of that truth, especially as it applies to the animal kingdom until recently. With each passing day, I become ever increasingly aware and amazed at how much they perceive, love, and remember. I don’t think that it is a mistruth or exaggeration to say that their devotion knows no bounds.

Wylah was a part of Morgan’s world from the time she was just a puppy and they quickly became inseparable. The day Morgan’s body was taken away from her parents home, she sat and watched as the door closed and then remained there just as the photograph shows.

Who is Morgan Jennifer Ingram? I would say that Wylah’s love and devotion speaks volumes and she wants justice for her mommy!

Justice for Morgan!
For more information check out Morgan’s Stalking on facebook and her website @ http://morganingram.com/

#Samson, sung by Regina Spektor…another sign

Keyboard waiting

Sat down to type on the computer just now, and a song started playing…Samson by Regina Spektor.  And here we go again – here comes a big punch to my heart, and the tears start to flow.  No way to stop them when this happens.

This was one of the songs that Morgan used to play on her keyboard, while singing the lyrics. I love hearing it – Morgan’s sweet voice was so similar to what I am hearing right now that I feel like I am listening to her sing again.  I remember one day, just weeks before she was gone forever, I turned on my phone’s recorder to try to record her, but alas she was just too intuitive, she stopped playing and turned and looked at me with a smile…so I don’t have that recording 🙁

I truly believe that music is another way we receive signs from our loved ones.  It has happened to me so many times since Morgan was taken from this world.  When it happens it is usually right when I need another reminder that she is still with me – she is saying, “Hi mom.”  It is painful, and yet comforting all at the same time…an important song starts to play loud enough to catch my attention.  Not a very subtle hint – more like a statement that is very profound.

I recently read the words of another mother of a young woman that had been murdered over 16 years ago, she said, “Behind every murder victim’s photo and behind every inaccurate article, there was an actual human being with a soul, who won’t go to college now or get married, whose brother will fall into drugs, whose father will have a heart attack, whose mother might never come out of her fog, whose family and community will never be the same because she isn’t here. Who might have done great things in this world, who was taken by darkness and we can’t see any light anymore……..”

This woman did a great job of explaining the domino effect that happens when evil takes an innocent life.  That selfish sick criminal act creates many, many co-victims – co-victims who’s lives are forever changed, and will never be the same.  It’s a hard thing to describe to someone that has never lost a loved one to a sudden act of violence. The pain, confusion, anger and helplessness that hits you causes you to want to want to fold into yourself and sob…sob like you never knew you could.  You want to become a ghost…you no longer want to continue on because you can never view the world as you had before.  Monsters become real and they look like regular humans.  You no longer trust, you hurt 24/7 and yet you sometimes manager to take a deep breath, pull yourself together and face another day.

real human beings do to each other

Another Sign From Above…a small blue dog?

FullSizeRender

I just wanted to share this with all of you.  I know this is a terrible picture…all fuzzy, etc.  I am sorry for the quality of the picture, but I still wanted to share it with you.  I have been in the hospital again after having an acute and very severe allergic reaction – this time they put me into the critical care unit and monitored me until it was safe for me to come home.  Steve has been beside himself with worry, and I feel so bad for him.

But the story of the picture above starts this morning when I unpacked the overnight bag that Steve brought to the hospital for me with some clothes to come home in.  The bag he brought to me was a bag that I had bought a long time ago in Santa Fe, New Mexico while on a vacation with Steve & Morgan.  It had been a wonderful time for all of us, going to the art galleries and churches.  Somewhere during the trip Morgan put this little blue dog in the outside zipper pocket of my bag, and I had forgotten all about it.  That was Morgan 🙂

Morgan on a trip to Santa Fe

Morgan on a trip to Santa Fe

It is so amazing to me that out of nowhere I felt like I was receiving a sign from Morgan – that she is right there beside me.  I unpacked my bag and found this little plastic dog from Morgan…I cried.  They were tears of joy (because I felt she was right here with me) and tears from pain (knowing she can never be next to me again the way she was when she was alive).

So this fuzzy picture of a little plastic blue dog may not mean much to others, but to me it was definitely another sign from Morgan letting me know she is still right next to me and sending me healing light, and love from above.

May you all be blessed with the knowledge that love can NEVER be taken away…not even in death.

Stay Strong!

stay strong