Monthly Archives: January 2014

Today we honor Martin Luther King Jr. and try to follow the path towards change

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Today as we honor and remember Martin Luther King Jr. I just want to remind every one of you of something he once said:

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

For me this quote is very important for so many things in all of our lives.  When we all speak out, and stand up for what is right then change is made.  It is up to all of us to take a stand on the injustices in this world.  It is our world, the world our children and their children will live in and if we don’t speak out to make the changes we want to see in this world it will not only be ourselves that suffer, but all those who follow us that suffer as well.  We can all do this – we all have the power individually to make a difference…please believe and know every single one of us has the power to do good things.

Martin Luther King, Jr. also said in a speech, “A time comes when silence is betrayal.”  As well as, “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?”

 

You have all made a change – thank you!!!

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Love

On January 14th blog I wrote about a stalking/rape victim that needed our help in order to get justice.  The system in her town in New Mexico was trying to accept a plea bargain to drop down the charges on her predator down to a 3rd degree charge instead of what he should have been receiving.  Well thanks to all of the people who agreed this was wrong and called to voice their opinion the plea bargain is now off the table – if you hadn’t stood up for the victim in this case this predator would not have been made accountable for his actions, and most likely would go on to do it again to another victim, the judge has decided to not accept the plea bargain, but instead to have this go to trial.  Thank you all so much for helping this young mother – now let’s hope that all your voices will continue to help others.  Everyone can make a huge difference in this world, and I just wanted you all to know in this case you have made a difference.

Then on January 17th her mother wrote to me, “Thank you everyone for the support.  To update you – the judge told the lawyer he was not accepting a plea in this case, that the charges where such that it is going to trial and that it is set for a jury trial on a date where the judge and jury there will hear it and there will be possible further charges. Thank you for all the support and help you have given, we were at a total loss as to where to turn until Morgan’s Stalking gave me someone to talk to, and cry with thank you.”

The Morgan Ingram Memorial Theatre Scholarship – 2 more students have been selected…congratulations!

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On January 6th I received a manila envelope in the mail and opened it. It was from the  Colorado Mountain College Foundation…I started to read the first letter, and I cried, and cried like a little baby. They were tears of happiness and gratitude. It was a letter to inform me about the 2 students that have been selected as the recipients of the Morgan Ingram Memorial Theatre Scholarship for CMC Theatre Degree students for this current academic year.

They were thanking Steve and I for being instrumental in providing financial assistance to these students as they pursue their academic and career goals. All I could think of was how happy and grateful I was that the Memorial Theatre Scholarship that we set up in Morgan’s name is still helping students to achieve their goals.  Morgan would be so very happy. Her heart was bigger than life, she was an amazing person who touched everyone she came in contact with. She truly enjoyed her involvement at Colorado Mountain College and constantly emphasized her appreciation of education by encouraging others to continue their education, and pursue their own passions.So I want to congratulate Bella Barnum and Shelby Lathrop for being the selected recipients of the scholarship for the current academic year. I know Morgan is so very proud of you both – you will both go far I know.Bella thank you for letting me know that the beauty of Morgan’s smile greets you every morning (Morgan’s picture is in the case) in the New Theatre space and inspires you to do your best. That is so beautiful, and it fills my heart to hear.

And Shelby you have many dreams, but I can tell that you will work hard to achieve them…working hard you will realize those dreams, and I am so happy for you!

I hope that the Morgan Ingram Memorial Theatre Scholarship for CMC Theatre Degree Students keeps receiving support from around the world in Morgan’s name and many others can be assisted as they pursue their dreams.

If you are interesting in donating to this scholarship (and thank you so much to those who have already donated to the scholarship fund) please contact Carol J. Efting she is the Scholarship and Records Coordinator, Colorado Mountain College Foundation, P.O. Box 1763, Glenwood Springs, CO 81602, Phone 970-947-8378, Fax 970-047-8385 www.cmcfoundation.org and please let her know you would like your tax-deductible contribution to be directed towards the Morgan Ingram Memorial Theatre Scholarship for CMC Theatre Degree students. Thank you all so much – I know Morgan blesses you for it.

Colorado Mountain College Foundation | Glenwood Springs, CO 81601
www.cmcfoundation.org
Creating Better Futures

A young mother that was raped and is in need of our collective help!

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Satellite

I always become enraged at the lack of professionalism, and inhumanity some law enforcement agencies (not all, but some) seem to have.  I wanted to share this recent/ongoing story with you all in the hopes that:

  • #1 it will illuminate the problem that is rampant around this country.
  • #2 show you that there are resources out there that want to help.
  • #3 see if any of you out there can help by making a call to the DA’s office or writing to the New Mexico Legislators or media about this ongoing horrible failure of the justice system – yes, they are failing this woman and her family

If any of you can think of a good way to inform a district attorney that 4 hours in jail and a $5,000 fine just doesn’t cut it when a victim’s whole life was torn apart and has been now been turned upside down, with she and her whole family left to live in a state of fear.  This is not acceptable!  This is not accountability, and this is not humanity!  Someone help this young woman – be her hero, wake up the justice system to do the right thing and not help to distort this woman’s life.  A victim should not get refused a restraining order when she wants one – she should not have to live in fear!

This started when I received a private Facebook from a distraught mother in November,   she said, “My daughter was raped in August it takes 8 months here for a rape kit to be processed. even though he said he probably did it he was not arrested, she could not get a restraining order.  And he is now stalking her and showing up at her older sisters work too!  He stalked her and monitored her through my Facebook and now shows up everywhere we go and she is terrified. This breaks my heart that she continues to be his victim and how this will all end.”

Well my heart went out to this mother, and of course her daughter who was now not only the victim of a rape, but also the victim of what sounds like a throw-back system that treats a rape victim like a nothing. I told her I am horrified that this has happened to your daughter! Please let me know what state you are in so I can try to research the specific laws that pertain to your situation and then I can give you links to sites to go to that will show you what you can do in your daughter’s situation…there is no way that this should be happening to your poor daughter. This person/predator should be stopped – they should issue her, as well as your whole family a restraining order so if you see him you can report him and have him arrested. This is just absolutely insane and sometimes it takes a printout of the actual law to waive in front of your detective or the District Attorney in order to get them to do their job. Please let me know how I can help – it’s the worse feeling in the world to be a parent and not be able to save your child. Hugs Toni

I then heard back from her and she said they live in Clovis, NM.  I told her I got it, “I will get back to you as soon as I have done some research for you. Hang in there…you now have to be a warrior.”  She then wrote back to me, “Thank you she has a 3-year-old daughter and is afraid to go anywhere alone or with her thank you.”

I wrote, “I don’t know if you have spoken with the 9th District Attorney’s office that represents Clovis, NM but if not I suggest you following this link and scroll down to the 9th Judicial DA’s Office and this link will show you the 3 names and numbers for the Victim’s Advocates. Please contact them and tell them your daughter’s story – do not take no for an answer – tell them your whole family has been victimized and you need help NOW! The link ishttp://www.nmsoh.org/nmva.pdf‘

I also told her for excellent information on stalking, including stalking behavior logs, safety plan guidelines, and a complete handbook for victims, contact the National Center for Victims of Crime Stalking Resource Center online at www.ncvc.org, call 1-800-FYI-CALL (M-F 8:30 AM – 8:30 PM EST), or e-mail [email protected]

  • http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center

    You can even call them and tell them what has happened in your situation and they can give you help and referrals.

    Welcome to the National Center for Victims of Crime
    www.victimsofcrime.org
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    I also told her that I would send her links to the pertinent laws from her state as well very soon  & to please stay safe.  She said, “Thank you.”  I said, “You are very welcome – I will do whatever I can to help you…as a mom I know the most important thing you want to do is to protect your children from harm. I really believe that the most important thing is the education of law enforcement...some are really up on the correct procedures and laws of their state and others are not.  They are not always knowledgable about how they should handle different crimes, and others (in my opinion) want crimes to solve themselves, and forget that they took an oath to serve and protect. I did research on the laws connected to stalking and harassment in New Mexico and they are definitely NOT what they should be. This is something else that needs to be addressed – all states are different, but the victims are still victims.

    She said, “What really got me is that she was questioned more than he was on the rape and he never said he did not rape her he said he was in her bedroom and does not remember. The detective was told the exam showed violence and bruising and scratches etc and did not arrest him said it came down to his word vs her word and the report on the rape kit seriously… I do not get how the victim has no rights or protection and can continue to be victimized it makes my heart just hurt for her that she lives in fear and she did the right thing she reported it.”

    I said, “It is so very wrong what has happened and is still happening to her. Please make an appointment and bring her with you to speak with the DA and tell him or her all of this and say it just like you just said it to me…victims should ALWAYS be treated with dignity and respect and you should ALWAYS be able to get a protection order through your District Attorney’s office. Please keep me in the loop and let me know what happens – also the National Center for Victims of Crime can walk you through all your options and national rights as a victim when you call them. I am so very sorry this is happening to your daughter as well as your family. Stay strong – I know you can help her with this…you sound like a very strong mom and she is very lucky to have you.” Then she said, “I will tell her, she did not know where to go to ask for help besides the detective thank you.”

    I said, “You are very welcome – I wish I could do more. Please let me know how it goes and if you need anymore help and I will talk to some other people for some more suggestions.”

    She said, “Thank you she did try to talk to the DA the secretary told her that he should have been arrested they did not need the rape kit for an arrest she was told to go back and talk to the detective and he is on vacation. So nothing can be done till after the holidays as the DA does not even have a record of the rape and case it is all with the sheriff and detective he has nothing saying there was a crime.”

    I said, “Unbelievable! At this point maybe she should email the detective and cc the DA on the same email so everything is in writing. Just an idea – documentation is so important so the detective can’t continue to drag his or her feet. So sorry again that your daughter is having to do this – I hope you can all still enjoy the holidays together. Hugs!

    She said, “The DNA kit came back with my daughters attackers DNA the sherriff told them he would be presenting it to the DA for a “possible” arrest warrent yesterday. Today he still has not done this and the arrest is not been made what step do they do what can they do to get this man arrested?” She then said, “They just arrested him finally and told my daughter please keep someone with you because his wife is still a threat and he may bond out, but he is being booked into the jail as of today.”

    Then she wrote, “well the rapist was only in on 4 hrs and is out on bond, the police have not even contacted my daughter to tell them they charged and arrested him, he works with a family friend who told us he was arrested and this is just beyond wrong. My daughter is going to the DA tomorrow morning to find out what is going on why only 4 hours and for a restraining order.”

    She wrote, “They refused an order of protection, the sheriff said that the bail has conditions that he not contact her she has repeatedly asked for one and been denied. She talks finally to the victims advocate and DA on Monday and I will ask her. As her husband is a vet and she his spouse they are going for counseling and help to the VA on Monday as they will have to face him in court we believe on Friday as knowone has told them anything they are totally upset and traumatized by this.”

    I then responded, “I am so upset for your daughter…how can they justify only 4 hours, a $5,000 bond and they never even called your daughter to tell her! In the state of New Mexico I read that aggravated criminal sexual penetration or criminal sexual penetration that involves force or coercion resulting in great bodily harm or great mental anguish to the victim is a felony in the first degree. Penalties include a fine of up to $15,000, up to 18 years in prison, or both. I wonder if you would like me to put out a blog, twitter and FB request for people to share to get others to call your DA and show their support for your daughter and demand justice?  I am so sick of LE in some areas treating these things like minor offenses when they are life threatening and dangerous to more victims down the line if they get away with it. Did they make a plea bargain, or is there going to be a trial? Will he need to be registered as a sex offender? Did they offer and then give your daughter a court ordered protection order? Have they suggested that your daughter move and go into an address confidentiality program? She then said, “They refused a order of protection the sheriff said that the bail has conditions that he not contact her she has repeatedly asked for one and been denied. She talks finally to the victims advocate and DA on Monday and I will ask her. As her husband is a vet and she his spouse they are going for counseling and help to the VA on Monday as they will have to face him in court we believe on Friday as no one has told them anything they are totally upset and traumatized by this.”

    She then wrote, “I will be talking to her tonight she lives on the other side of town now and she is never alone she and her husband are living in fear that now he has nothing to loose and may retaliate.” I wrote, “Please have her call or go in person again to the DA’s office – they will have a person in charge of Assistance in Filing Compensation Claims, Criminal Justice Support Advocacy, Emergency Financial Assistance, Emergency Legal Advocacy, Follow-up Contact, Information And Referral , Personal Advocacy, Telephone Contacts – she needs a court advocate to help her with this and to give her suggestions on how to protect herself and her family. Please let me know if there is anything I can do and I honestly mean it when I say that I will contact many, many people to call the DA’s office and demand justice. Take care and hang in there! Love and light to your whole family.”

    She said, “Thank you we did not know where to ask for help till you told us the DA thank you.”  I said, “You are so very welcome – I wish I could do more for you. Is it OK if forward the link to the arrest you sent me to ask people to ask for justice and not let this be “swept” under the rug? I know you must feel numb and may not want to do anything yet and that is ok – I just thought I would ask in case it might be a way I can help you and your daughter. Sending as much positive vibrations your way as I can. Someone along my journey reminded me to be fierce – and every time I feel weak I remember her words and I try to visualize myself being a lion. Silly I know, but it helps. She wrote, “Yes, please do we are feeling we are not going to get any justice I told my daughter she is stronger than she thinks how many women has he done this to and they did not go through the process of reporting it? Because I bet he has and you do not want him hurting someone else. Thank you.”

    I replied back to her, “Your daughter is incredible strong! And I want to see her get justice. I will do what I can on my end and see how many others i can get to help as well. Hang in there. Hugs!

    She said, “Thank you, she met with the DA and victims advocate they said the case was handled all wrong and that they now have counseling in Clovis our town and she was going to make some calls but over 6 months of emotional and financial pain she had to get her own counseling and trade in her vehicle throw out he mattress and couch as they were part of her rape they told her she can civilly sue him later she told me again something I can pursue on my own later I am so tired and sick of it all being me fighting and no one helping so hopefully Friday she sees some justice, but them telling her to file a complaint on the sheriff and detective etc. makes us wonder.”  She then said, “Friday he gets sentenced and she does not have to be there they said they are only going for 3rd degree she asked for higher. No they said they only issue them against family members in NM and his probation includes no weapons no alcohol she told them he is driving a unregistered uninsured truck I have reported it repeatedly and you do not stop or enforce that doubt you will enforce the weapons and alcohol.  My daughter called me tonight crying her eyes out she was driving alone around town just crying seems he drove past her work just as she got out and now knows what she drives he got off work early to do it told them he had a doctors appointment. So now she took a leave from work as she does not feel safe there either since he did this – it pushed her over the edge she broke down and said when does this end when can I feel safe? So we talked to her and I told her many women commit suicide do not be one of those women be the women that says okay I cried I had my moment and he is not winning.  She asked when do I get support for this when will he be stopped I told her it will get worse before it gets better but you have so much, a husband that loves you, and a daughter, he tried to take everything away from you and you stood strong remember that when no one believed you you said I was raped and the DNA proved you were you are the victim, but you survived continue to do so because you have support and love, and we are here for you. That he left work to drive by her work is beyond belief she has basically quit her job to be safe. This is so unfair to hear her gut wrenching sobs and say it could of been my 3 year old if he had gone into her room instead of mine haunts me breaks my heart.”

    AFTER READING THIS PLEASE HELP HER IF YOU CAN (HER NAME IS BLAIR AND I HAVE ATTACHED A LINK TO THE PREDATOR’S ARREST ABOVE –  YOU MAY WANT TO  CALL OR WRITE A LETTER TO THE 9TH JUDICIAL OFFICE (Matt Chandler, (575) 769-2246, 417 Gidding, Clovis, NM) IS THE DA IN CLOVIS, NM AND ASK WHY THIS PREDATOR IS ALLOWED ONLY 4 HOURS OF JAIL TIME, + a $5,000 FINE – IS HE GOING TO BE PUT AND KEPT ON THE SEX OFFENDER REGISTRY?

    WHY IS BLAIR NOT GETTING PROTECTION FROM THIS PREDATOR – SINCE HE IS OBVIOUSLY STILL STALKING HER?  IS THIS PREDATOR GOING TO BE PUT ON THE SEX REGISTRY?

    WHY WOULD SOMEONE THAT DOES SUCH A HEINOUS ACT ONLY GET THE 3RD DEGREE AND NOT THE 1ST DEGREE SENTENCE IF HE IS NOT A FAMILY MEMBER?  DO THE LAWS IN NEW MEXICO HAVE TO BE CHANGED?

    DO THE LEGISLATORS OF NEW MEXICO NEED TO HEAR ABOUT THIS CASE?

    WE ALL NEED TO TAKE A STAND WE NEED OUR VOICES HEARD – WE ARE THE PEOPLE AND WE SHOULD DEMAND OUR RIGHTS NOT BE IGNORED!

    THANKS EVERYONE!!!

     

     

     

 

 

Today 1.10.2014 – over two years after Morgan’s murder…stop #stalkers

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Is our family angry that Morgan has not received justice yet?  YES 

Is our family upset that the truth has not gotten out yet?  YES 

Are we, and so many others furious at the way the system is treating & failing other stalking victims, by not following the laws that are already on the books?  YES

This all has to change, and it needs to change NOW!!!  I am mad as hell –  just how much is one family expected to take?

shadowfigureI haven’t been writing lately because I have had writer’s block – it has been very emotional for Steve and I as the days led us to the second anniversary of the day we found Morgan’s lifeless body on December 2, 2011.  The images faced that morning were certainly bad enough, and they added to all that has come out since then, and has become immeasurable to Steve and I – it is so very hard to put all those awful images, that keep popping into my head, behind me.  In-between those images I see beautiful and happy images of Morgan – I keep thinking that once her investigation gets opened, and arrests are made, that the horrible memories of her stalking, and murder will start to dissipate…but right now we have no closure what-so-ever.  Someone has still gotten away with murder at this time.

How can a parent have closure after their youngest daughter is stalked for four months, then murdered, and the Garfield County Sheriff’s office does everything in their power to cover it up?  We have been forced to endure the pain of losing Morgan, at the same time trying to get her case opened so justice can be served, and the truth of her life restored in spite of those few who wish so wickedly to only tarnish it with lies.  We know the people engaged in the lies are connected to the murderer – we thought at first that this was crazy, but it isn’t, of course they are doing everything in their power to protect a murderer, but we have since found out that this is actually a practice that has happened to many victims over the years…sick as it seems this does happen, so the facts, and only the facts of the case need to come out, not lies and speculation, only the truth.  People that never knew Morgan, never knew what happened, never knew anything, have been acting like they know it all, and they lie, and lie and lie, hoping people will believe them.  The truth never changes, and the truth will come out, please know this is true – it will not be covered up forever.

There is a further truth that without the story of Morgan’s murder seeing the light of day, and changes being made, another innocent victim, and their entire family will suffer the same fate… that is not some long shot possibility, it is a fact!  If Morgan could be stalked and murdered, and those elected, empowered and sworn to uphold laws do the opposite of what they should have done in her case then it will continue to happen to others.  There  is more than the need for more education in order to protect victims, and save lives – this will involve the people that are sworn to uphold the law to have the ethics and morality to do just that.  It is an answer to the question of why do they behave as they do?  And I am not referring to the perpetrators who were, and are heinous enough to deal with, but I am also referring to law enforcement, and others within the county who have a program that is unknown to me, but does not involve upholding the law, or protecting the victims.

The State of Colorado understands the seriousness, but somehow not the sheriff’s of Garfield County.  They need to know how serious stalking is, and have accountability when it comes to a murder, but apparently they do not, not yet.  The state of Colorado states that immediate intervention is required, so why does Garfield County feel that arbitrarily waiting six or seven weeks is effective intervention?  If the victim was murdered after only four months then your intervention was anything but effective.  And to cover up that lapse by calling it not related to the stalking, and not a murder, when just a few too many experts in crime scene investigation who have now seen the images of Morgan’s crime scene can not begin to understand why there was no investigation, there is a very huge problem lurking.  Perhaps it begins to explain why the law of common decency, and not murdering your fellow citizens applies less, and less in the state of Colorado.  Why shootings and murders are so common place that someone should be concerned by now.  In fact quite a few should and are!

An excerpt of the law as written says; “The general assembly hereby recognizes the seriousness posed by stalking and adopts the provisions of this part 6 with the goal of encouraging and authorizing effective intervention before stalking can escalate into behavior that has even more serious consequences.”  Which I think spells it out quite well, if they had written, “and by the way, four months is a bit too long to wait,” would Garfield County have been more serious?  If they had written, “if you are dealing with a predatory stalker then everything has to be taken far more seriously,” then would Garfield County have reacted with something stronger, instead of the nothing Morgan received?  Oh I forgot, first they need to know that there are many different types of stalkers (different typologies)  and there is a different protocol that needs to be used in the different cases.  Education – education – education…and law enforcement needs to follow the Federal and State laws as written.  Citizens have to follow the law, ignorance of the law is not allowed for the citizens, so why should it be okay for law enforcement agents?

When responding to a crime, say there is a single perp with a knife, the sheriff’s would evaluate the facts and react to how much back up to call in, but say it is not one, but two, or maybe three perps, and the police or sheriff is not even at the scene yet, what if the perps have automatic assault weapons, even body armor?  Now the level of back-up called in to the police or sheriff’s goes way up, as well it should.  So why is this logic not used when a crime is called in by a victim of an ongoing stalking situation?  Why is every stalker, and every stalking situation given the same response?  The situation as it stands right now is absolutely hopeless for victims in Garfield County, as well as many other places.

Morgan was murdered  just over two years ago – she did not deserve to be stalked and murdered.  She loved life more than anyone I have ever met in my life.  Just driving in the car with her was a treat – she would always notice and remark on the beauty of a mountain, or river, or bird flying in the sky.  Seeing it herself made her want to capture it to share with the world, so she took her camera everywhere with her for that simple, yet so profoundly beautiful reason.  So she could capture the beauty of the world and share it with others – she did not want to leave this life, but she was taken from this world much too soon.

I do know she helped more people, and made more changes in this world in her short 20 years of life than I have in all the time I have been allowed to live on this earth.  Morgan may have completed what she was sent down to earth to do, but she did not want to leave yet.  She made so many plans for her future – she was really excited and happy that she was going to finish college, have a career, and someday a family with children (she wanted 3, she always said, she had picked out their names already), and even knew where she wanted to retire someday… quite a far reaching plan for such a young adult to imagine for her future.  Maybe that is what made her sudden, completely unexpected, and horrific death was so hard to bear.  Loosing Morgan in this way has created a deep, deep pain in my heart, that creeps out on a daily basis, and causes a guttural cry from deep within me.  I know that I will always grieve for Morgan, but I also know that pushing forward towards justice will help that intense guttural pain subside – I feel as though that pain is the pain of knowing the person that tortured and killed our loving daughter is still out there to do it again, and because of that Steve and I have no closure.

Morgan would have been able to do everything she imagined, because she always met and fought through every challenge in her life, worked extremely hard, and achieved everything she set out to do – she NEVER gave up.  Morgan loved to journal, so not only did she verbalize her dreams, but she also wrote them down, along with a list of what she still needed to accomplish in order to get there.  She was an amazing young woman.  The hardest part of this whole nightmare has been trying to put some semblance of sanity into the path that led to her death, and the fact that she can no longer be with us, through no choice of her own.  Steve and I now need to be Morgan’s voice – we want justice for Morgan!

The system that is Garfield County not only completely failed Morgan over two years ago, but continues to fail her in her death – I want people to know the truth about stalking, and what stalking victims go through…here are just some of the things Morgan went through in those short four months before her murder, as do so many other stalking victims that I have spoken with – they experience these things as well:

  • Denial, confusion, self-doubt, questioning if what is happening is unreasonable, wondering if we were all over-reacting
  • Frustration
  • Guilt, embarrassment, self-blame
  • Apprehension, fear, terror of being alone or that they, others or their pets will be harmed (she verbalized that she was afraid for her puppy Wylah May, and discussed ways to keep her puppy safe)
  • Feeling isolated and helpless to stop the harassment
  • Anxiety
  • Inability to sleep – nightmares, ruminating (Morgan wanted to sleep at her friend’s houses or have friends sleep over as much as she could in order to feel safe, and be able to actually get some sleep)
  • Irritability, anger
  • Emotional numbing
  • Symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder e.g. hypervigilance (always on the lookout), flashbacks of frightening incidents, easily startled.
  • The feeling that someone is stealing your life from you – your life is now not the same as it had always been.  You can no longer spend your days without fear or stress (think about this happening to you every day – never knowing when you stalker will show up or what will happen next)
  • Fatigue from difficulty sleeping (she was being startled awake constantly by her stalker and extremely exhausted as were Steve and myself), forced into being constantly on guard and then living with the knowledge that all you had to give was not enough.
  • Effects of chronic stress including headaches, hypertension
  • Gastrointestinal problems
  • Loss of appetite
  • Development of a rash due to stress and fright (in the beginning of Morgan’s stalking, when she was so frightened she was sleeping in my closet at night she developed a rash on her chest from the stress – at that time we had no idea who was doing this to her – it was like some strange bogey man, and so terribly frightening for her)
  • Dizziness
  • Shortness of breath which brought about pain in her chest
  • Heart palpitations and sweating

Does this sound like horrific torture to you?  It was horrific torture!  Horrific for Morgan, and for us to watch our youngest daughter go through.  Just imagine what it is like for many, many other stalking victims, every day to go through this kind of torture.  These are just some of the symptoms that stalking victims experience – stalking causes victims extreme distress.

Why is it so hard for a stalking victim to reach out for help?

  • Not understanding that what is happening to them is stalking and/or illegal – in the very beginning Morgan was trying to come up with logical explanations for the strange taps on her windows right when she would get ready to jump in the shower or go to bed.
  • Trying to pretend that it is not really happening wanting to wake up the next day and they are no longer being stalked (it doesn’t stop, but they hope it will)
  • Believing that they should be able to deal with the situation, thinking that the stalker will see reason, or just stop (they don’t)
  • Fear that others will think they are over-reacting or that they will be blamed for somehow having encouraged the stalker in the first place. (Similar to how rape victims perceived, and hid the fact that they had been raped)
  • Fears about how the stalker will respond either to them or those that they love or care for (Morgan verbalized to many others that she was worried that if she moved he would follow her, and if she took out a restraining order he would become more violent (we had all read the article about Vonnie Flores who was murdered by her stalker on July 7, 2010 after receiving a TRO on June 24, 2010 http://www.denverpost.com/ci_15466250) – but Morgan was still determined to get a restraining order, after discussing this with the detective in charge of her case the detective asked if she could hold off a little longer in order to give them more time to “catch the stalker in the act” which did not happen and would never have happened with the type of protocol they were using.
  • Direct threats from the stalker
  • Feeling isolated in their plight, believing that there is nothing that can be done to help them, or not knowing who to go to. (At one point Morgan was so angry she believed that the sheriff’s were never going to catch her stalker, she didn’t think they wanted to, they were making excuses for the stalker every time she told them of her sightings of the stalker.  She was so upset that they were never going to do anything to stop it and one day she came home from school, and grabbed a baseball bat, wanting to go hunt him down herself)
  • Previous requests for help being ignored (Morgan was so frustrated because after the worse, and most frightening incidences that she reported the sheriff’s they did nothing they promised to do about it – we reported almost everything to them during that four month period of stalking, and almost a year and a half after Morgan’s murder, when we finally saw the sheriff’s reports, almost all of the serious incidents that were reported to them by Morgan and myself, and documented were not in the reports so Morgan was obviously intuitive enough to know that something was seriously wrong with the felony stalking investigation that was ongoing at the time)
  • Limited options in respect to changing their situation e.g. relocation to safer housing (just weeks before she was murdered Steve and I finally talked Morgan into moving – we told her we found a place that would be much harder for the stalker to terrorize her, if he found out where she was – she was excited about the move, started packing some things, told her friends about it, but you all know by now that we did not move in time – it was too late for Morgan – she was murdered before we could get out)

Morgan’s story needs to get out to everyone.  People need to know that this is not acceptable, and demand that something is done to right this wrong, get the truth out and get a murderer off the street.

Please share her story with anyone you know – it will help to raise awareness about the seriousness of stalkers, and could save a life.

Steve and I will never give up the fight to have Morgan’s case opened, investigated, and watch justice handed out to those involved. I know there are thousands of you out there that have written in and want to help…I am working on a draft letter that can go out to the legislators of Colorado (the ones that pushed through the excellent laws in this State) to make them aware that passing the laws was a very good thing, but if individual law enforcement agencies in the State of Colorado choose to ignore those laws then the laws do the victims no good at all.  There needs to be a system in place that has reprocussions for law enforcement agencies that decide to go “rogue” and not uphold that laws of this great Nation, and the State of Colorado!

Steve and I know Morgan will have justice.  We are sure as well that positive changes will be made. How could we be so sure you might wonder…because we believe in the power of the people, and we believe there are more good people in this world than bad.  You can’t be straddling the fence any longer in this world – you need to be on the side of good, or the side of evil, and when on the side of good people need to individually stand up and create the changes that need to be done.  People should never “accept” something when they know it is wrong, whether it is something they see or know is happening that is harmful to another human being.  I trust in the Universe and I trust in humanity.  I believe people will find their power within to do what they know is right. It is never easy, but it can happen.  We can all make positive changes and make this a better world.