And then the word #stalker came into play – another story that needs to be shared

stopvictimblamingPlease read the story below – I really shouldn’t say it is a story because what it truly is is another human being’s current reality due their stalker.  It is horrifying, it has affected her children, it has completely changed her life, and it is so very wrong. The judicial system needs to understand how serious stalking is. Changes need to be made – criminals should not have more rights then their victims!

This is an email I received this morning:

My case with a stalker is going to jury trial very soon.  Due to this, I’m doing my research on Victim Blaming as I’m sure the defense will use this heinous tactic, and that is how I found your site.  My story began 6 months ago while breaking it off with a short-lived relationship.  Although, due to an alcohol problem with this man, I did get  a simple domestic violence restraining order, which of course I thought would be all I would need.  That day would prove to hold so very much more.  I now carry 3 criminal protective orders, he has been incarcerated for 2 months on a no bail warrant.  All I wanted was peace, but his insistence that God told him not to stop pursuing me, several texts and voice mails, him showing up at my house refusing to leave, and my visions of waking up with him standing over me, the “If I can’t have you….” attitude, and finally after several times of calling law enforcement and 2 arrests of violation, the word “stalker” came into play.  He found my new phone #, found me on social media, and followed family members.  One message reads: “If I can’t find you, I’ll have 20 people looking for you”.  As of today (10.13.2015), a new judge said he would grant another bail hearing next Tuesday.  Of course when you’ve gone into hiding twice, and you are looking for yet another safe place, this decision fills you with fear.  The word “Stalker” is used lightly, as it was with me before this time.  But my world has now become a reality of always looking over my shoulder, protecting my loved ones and myself from whatever the “next step”, the “next move” could be.  In all of our minds no one wants to believe these things truly happen, and of course we would rather blame the victim with “if only they had done something different”.  I know I will face that kind of mentality soon as part of the defense, and I dread the day I re-live it all in a twisted story by a defense attorney.  It is my hope my story will one day inspire others to do what they must to protect their family, and never minimize what a person is capable of.  Stalking is a very real crime and like Morgan, your first prison is when it all starts.  My business was shut down, my life has had to start over, and the paralyzing effects of fear are more than one can bear.  Leaving your home alone, being alone, and even falling asleep become burdens you try to avoid.  My heart goes out to all victims of any crime, and if any have had to experience victim blaming, I’m positive it made a negative emotional impact in an already devastating circumstance.  Thank you for allowing me to e-mail this to you, it was only today in what was supposed to be a Felony Settlement Conference (another one) that the decision to revisit bail was put on calendar.  The plethora of charges against continue to mount with not only the felonies, but 8 misdemeanor charges as well.   Please keep me in prayer, and tell others to always be very careful.  If there is one red flag, there are many, many more.  Be safe as you possibly can always.  This is my new reality.

Then she wrote:

Truly one of the hardest things to deal with is the “unknown”  Never knowing the next move, the next step. You can try to block it but it sits in wait in your head. I am not looking forward to taking the stand. I’m doing my homework on Victim Blaming which is a natural response in most people’s minds. People want to believe others would not instill fear, and there had to be a reason, thus blame the victim. In my case he believed in his head, we were going to be together no matter what. It got to a point my 14 yr old son slept with a kitchen knife next to him, my daughter moved in with me.  Two months ago I moved and have basically been in hiding even with him incarcerated. Of course he proclaims innocence but doesn’t realize imprisoning someone emotionally, constant emotional manipulation, is wrong. No one knows if he will attack, take hostage, to get what he wants or not. That is the worst part. And now the judicial system may consider bail after two months of no bail. I want what is fair and just for all of course. It seems as though me having to give up my life, rebuild, start over and continue to wonder when and if he will be out again, does not come into play.  This story needs to be told for anyone who remotely believes it can never happen.
Please post my story, and please feel free to use this as well.  Maybe with more awareness people will realize “stalking” is not only physical, you become emotional prey for the predator. They stalk your mind in order to get their way, and you must do all you can do to protect yourself because, despite what others believe, you do not know what the next step will be, and it must be stopped before it is taken.  Be strong as possible. Be wise. Never minimize.  And do your homework, research, be prepared if it comes to a courtroom.
I hope after reading this you will have a more intimate understanding about the emotional devastation that stalking creates.  Her story should be shared as often as you can in order to help raise awareness about the seriousness of stalking.  Thanking you ahead of time for sharing!

A Must Read – Every Move You Make, by Victoria Heywood

every move you make

This is a must read!  The new book that just came out, Every Move You Make by Victoria Heywood includes a chapter about Morgan’s stalking.  

I just finished reading it and I must say it is an extremely well researched book and a very powerful read…I could not put it down. You can get the Kindle copy on Amazon for just $9.99.

Every Move You Make: Chilling True Stories of Stalkers and Their Victims starts out with the author talking about what makes stalkers considered stalkers…typologies, etc. (please pay close attention to the explanation about predatory stalkers, this was exactly the type of stalker Morgan had) then she recounts the story of her own stalking.  There are good tips given for app security, etc.  Included in the book are stories about a death trap from a Facebook stalker, a murdered woman at the hands of her stalker/fiancé as she was planning on leaving him, the stalker that made it over the walls of Buckingham Palace to get to Princess Kate, the stalking of Princess Diana, the stalking of Alec Baldwin, Michael Douglas, and much more.

After you have read the book I would love to hear from you – please let me know if you were illuminated by anything you hadn’t previously known before about stalkers.

Until their daughter screamed…

I was contacted again by another mother that wanted to share her story of horror.  This story had a better ending then ours and I am so happy their daughter was saved.  It is so important to share your stories in order to educate others about the realities of true crime. Some armchair sleuths seem to think it is impossible for someone to come into your house and do unspeakable things without the family hearing – unfortunately that is not reality…it really does happen.

About 16 years ago at 4:30 am, my husband and I were  awakened by our daughter’s scream.  “Daddy, there’s a boy in my room.”  My husband grabbed his Billie stick and raced down the stairs.  The man had fled.  While my husband looked for the man, I called the police.  When the police came, I asked if it could have been a dream.  The detective knew there had been an intruder. Footprints were left in the dew-covered grass and 10 cigarette butts had been left in a pile behind our house in the garden.  We had accidentally left the garage door open giving the man easy access into our home.  The man walked through our house, opened a liquor cabinet, and walked by our open bedroom door to gain entry into our daughter’s bedroom.  We never heard him and in September, our house was light, not dark.  Whenever I hear police question parents about noise an intruder makes, I become enraged.  No one in our family of five heard anything until our daughter screamed.  Later we learned, the man had tried to stick something in our daughter’s mouth.  I’ve always wondered if if was a substance to make her pass out.

Two weeks later this man was caught.  He had repeated the same crime, following the same pattern in a house three blocks from our home.  It was a neighbor I had never met.  He lived behind us through a short patch of woods.  His rap sheet at 19 was longer than my arm…and he was charged mostly as a juvenile delinquent for earlier crimes.  I never told our three kids that “he” lived behind our house.  They had a difficult time adjusting after the break-in.  He was convicted of the two break-ins and served a sentence of 18 months in jail.  By the time he was out of jail, his parents had moved.  My son still sleeps with a knife under his pillow and my daughter has a protective dog.

I am relaying my story because our daughter had been stalked.  This person knew which bedroom was hers.  He entered our home without anyone hearing him.  Our detectives were wonderful.  They were most bothered by the fact that adults were in the house when he entered both houses..  The detectives worried that this person would become even more brazen if he were not caught.

I urge you to continue to push for the reopening of the case.  In my experience, my faith in the detectives resulted in a resolution and capture.  Although your life is shattered, your goal is to find the killer(s).  Keep the spirit of your daughter in your heart and save your anger for the perpetrator(s).

I wish you and your husband peace of mind.  I wish I had known Morgan.  God bless you and keep up the fight.

The BIG Question is….

Morgan was stalked and murdered and then her murder was covered up. Is this possible, and why, why would they do this?  Continually since then the Garfield County Sheriff refused to investigate, actually lies and says there was an investigation, no need for anyone to worry.

colorado counties

County Map of Colorado

The Garfield County Sheriff screams and stamps his feet and refuses to allow any other law enforcement agency to assist or conduct their own investigation. Why? Because he can, and this is what can happen when there is no oversight. In Colorado there is no oversight of a sheriff. There are 64 counties (see attached map), each with its own sheriff, most are great, but can there be a bad one?  Of course it’s possible, and the oversight to protect citizens from that one bad apple, the one rogue sheriff – none. Not one single person looking out for the state or it’s citizens…not one.

What happens when there is no oversight? Well as an example; we tried to put out a reward posted, just a $1,000.00 dollar reward, really it’s just a  place for honest people to call in confidence and anonymously if they want in order to share any tips about Morgan’s stalking or murder – something they might know or have heard. Sounds reasonable enough, doesn’t it.  After all, we did it because people called me to say they had called the sheriff’s office to report something having to do with Morgan’s case but they were told there was no case and they were hung up on. They expected seriousness, they expected concern, they expected the sheriff’s to make a record of the tip, but instead the sheriffs had their prepared response and refused to listen to any tips. Morgan was a part of the community, many knew and loved her, she was a student, friend, relative and a neighbor, Morgan was stalked and killed, there is real concern and worry about something like this happening in their peaceful valley. They were shocked because the deputy, or detective on the phone – the only law in the county – said “Morgan’s case is closed,” then they just hung up the phone. What if the person calling had heard a confession and wanted the sheriff – the only law in the county – to know?  Seems like the sheriffs don’t want to know any possible clues about Morgan’s case, doesn’t it? You can bet those hangups are not in Morgan’s “sheriff’s reports,” just as most everything else that happened is not in those reports either.

I mean the last person who should care if the parents want a reward poster for tips on their daughter’s stalking and murder should be the sheriff, he should want crime in his county solved shouldn’t he?  Well surprise! The sheriff became irate and even threatening when Morgan’s reward poster was put up by Crime Stoppers…he said the poster had to come down!  It had to be changed, it made him look bad!  So the BIG question is not how Morgan died, we know she was murdered, the experts who have looked over the physical evidence confirm it, no the BIG question is this…why is Garfield County Sheriff Lou Vallario trying to cover up Morgan’s murder and why would he not want any tips that might help solve it? Morgan was stalked, and she was killed and if you don’t want tips and you don’t want anyone else to have tips either, well doesn’t that sound like you want a coverup? Because I think it could not be more obvious.

I know Colorado is a home rule state, which I’m told means local government has the right to keep the state out of their affairs, but when it comes to a capital crime that is being covered up, where are the checks and balances?  There needs to be a mechanism that will allow for an oversight committee, with citizens and others not involved in law enforcement, but representing the people, who get to review the facts and point a finger and say, “hey, something is very wrong here.” They need to be able to have the opportunity to conclude  that someone else should have a look. This goes beyond the BIG question and exposes the BIG problem – the reason Morgan’s case has never been a case.

So you ask the sheriff about Morgan’s case and what happens? They tell you they stand behind the findings of the coroner, it was a suicide. What they don’t tell you is that the coroner’s office received all it’s information from the sheriffs. It’s not like a TV show where the coroner is out there solving the whole case by himself, questioning, investigating, peering into a microscope, no it’s the complete opposite. Every scrap of information comes from the sheriff, in fact the deputy coroner told us he can’t even change anything unless the detective approves it. The coroner is charged with determining cause and manner of death, but they get everything from the sheriff and they can’t change anything unless he says it is OK first. Forget lack of oversight – we have the recipe for a cover up right there. No one else can look, no one can change anything, even the guy elected to do it. Then after the decision no one can come in and ask anything, and the parents can’t offer a reward for information. Anyone think that will get the crime solved? Because I don’t.

In the standards adopted by the state of Colorado to investigate the coroners are encouraged to do a separate investigation, actually it says they must do a separate investigation apart from law enforcement. But they did not do a separate investigation, they relied completely on the sheriff, so when Sheriff Lou Vallario says he is completely satisfied with the conclusion of the coroner I wonder if his fingers were crossed, because there could not be a more self serving statement.

Of course then it gets a little technical because first they wrote that Morgan died from natural causes, and then her doctors told us – not true, other doctors told us – not true, and another medical examiner told us, not true and then proceeded to tell us what really killed her. Up until then nobody knew what had killed Morgan – except the killer. And the sheriff stood behind the findings of the coroner – but the coroner was completely wrong, as he would admit when he changed his findings after eight months to yet another incorrect finding. So what justice was served exactly by the sheriff standing behind the findings of the coroner? Because from where I sit the killer is the only one being served by all this – he is getting away with murder.

Then the coroner changed all his findings from pills that were not there, he had actually said “no trace at all” and then 8 months later he says they are now there, the blood levels that were “insignificant” are now lethal from eighteen 25 mg pills, an amount that is not even enough to kill her, but is now the method he states that she used to commit suicide. But what about the five date rape drugs in her stomach, you can’t just overlook those, can you? They did.  And for safety sake they destroyed all the remaining evidence so nobody can ever retest it in the future. And then there is the sheriff again stating how he stands completely behind the coroner and his findings. But which findings?  Because the second set of findings completely contradicts the first set, oh but there is no oversight so it does not really matter which findings I suppose.

So here we have a stalking and a murder with no investigation and people wonder how that can be…we also used to wonder.  But now along with all the horror there is the knowledge that yes it can happen and yes it has happened.

This knowledge has actually become a great tool in helping other victims. There is a period in which, as a parent, you do not want to believe this could happen. The sudden violent death of a child always comes with indescribable pain and shock.  Parents all have their own timetable when it comes to dealing with it.  And it is always different for each and every one forced through it, but for some there seems to come a time when you can no longer sit back and do nothing.  You do not want to allow a murderer to remain free – you want justice for your child. I understand now how co-victims do not have the luxury of time when this happens so I try to help them to push for answers in their cases – hopefully before it becomes too late for them to do anything about it.

The warning signs were all there for us. Morgan’s stalker’s hours were about to be collected, Morgan was scheduled to give her victim’s statement, the sheriff’s patrols were being increased, we were starting to pack to move, and an end to the stalking was in sight. It all sounded so good and we wanted so desperately to believe it was all going to be over.  Now I know too well it is the most dangerous time you will ever face for so many reasons.

First the stalker has learned all about you, has probably been inside your house more than once, knows how you react to his advances, and has crafted a plan that takes all of this into account. Morgan’s killer had a plan how to get in, and what he was going to do after he got in. The more I can help stalking victims realize there could be a plan with their name on it the better, because it just might save their life.

And as for the big question the best way to avoid a coverup is to avoid the crime and how painful it was to learn that law enforcement not only did not have the answers, they were fully prepared to pretend as if it never even happened. I now know first hand of seven other stalkings in the same area as Morgan’s, that happened before her stalking (one only 2 weeks before her stalking started) where the sheriffs were involved and not one of those cases has a report, not one page, as if they all never happened.  So if they never write up the reports does that mean it never happened?  Let me know what your thoughts are on this subject.  Thanks.

Remember: Stalkers do break into victim’s homes to obtain information about them

It is true – just one more fact that you need in your arsenal of facts about stalkers.  Do not let down your guard and think your home is safe from your stalker.  They do get in and most of the time there is absolutely no sign of forced entry.  Like in the movies you would need to “stage” a little piece of paper stuck in the door or window to know if that door or window had been opened while you were gone.  And there are things you can do to protect your home from a break in…it doesn’t make sure it won’t happen, but it will make it harder for them to get in.

Remember: Stalkers do break into victim’s homes to obtain information about them or to surprise them when they get home.  A good book to read is Protecting your life, home and property: A cop shows you how by author Robert L. Snow  book protecting snow

https://books.google.com/books?id=Ad4AAAAACAAJ&dq=protecting+your+life,+home,+and+property&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0CCsQ6AEwAGoVChMI9sbL5_WXyAIVlVqICh3Htw4s