Tag Archives: Morgan

September 24, 2011 – Day 54 of Morgan’s Stalking

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Morgan

Today starts Carbondale’s Potato Days celebration.  Morgan is texting her sister in the morning about how someone has hacked her email, and now people are getting emails from Morgan, that are not really from Morgan.  Her sister warns her to notify Yahoo.

Later, Morgan went to babysit in Aspen from noon until early evening, it runs late, and Morgan calls me on her way home at 9 pm.  She arrived home to the usual drill with me waiting in the driveway, pepper spray in hand, and we show her the latest addition to our stalking arsenal.  Steve has installed a simple wireless doorbell from the hardware store that afternoon. so the button is stuck to the side of her nightstand, and the bell is in our room. We call this her panic button. Our bedroom is on the far back end of the house and her bedroom is in the far front – really far apart and the hardcore bedroom doors, when closed, dull any noise. There is absolutely no way for us to hear anything going on in Morgan’s room if we are asleep in our bedroom so this alarm will really help. But, I was thinking Morgan may feel like this was getting to be a little too much, as it has been quiet since the video cameras went on, but Morgan was happy about it.  She thought we were great for putting it in, now if anything at all happens she can just press the button, we will know instantly, and come to see what’s up.  It gives her even more security.

We don’t have to wait long to see if she will ever need to press the button as the bell rings at about 11:30 pm.  I shake Steve, and jump up myself.  We run to her room and it was a noise on her window, but she said it was different this time.  Before it was tapping, or banging, usually tapping first, then banging later.  Morgan calls this softer like small rocks (for lack of a better way to describe the noise).  She points to the window top, of the clearstory window in her room, where the sound came from.  Steve goes outside in his robe and slippers to look at it from outside.  While he is gone I find out from Morgan that she was reading, and saw the outside motion light come on about an hour ago, but did not think that rose to pressing the new alarm button. Then when she heard the familiar sound she alerted us.

Steve came back in and of course he didn’t see anything out there in the still of the night – we then all said good night after reassuring Morgan to please push the button again if she hears anything.  I had no idea how Morgan would react to the sort of, “panic button,” idea, but I was so glad then that we had put it in, and she wasn’t afraid to use it.  When we were back in the room, we went straight to the camera monitor, and played back the video.  First we checked the camera that covered her windows, we could clearly see Steve approach, and stop to stare up at her end window (when he went out in his robe), then turn and leave, but rewinding, and replaying, there was nothing else (again, we had no idea that the cameras should have been pointing up at the roof).  We went to the cameras on either side of that one, and replayed that video too – also nothing.  This was so very frustrating, we should have seen something, but did not.  We went through it all again and again.  It would be hard to tell Morgan the next morning all we ever saw was Steve, and we were both troubled by this – there was a very good reason our cameras were not catching the stalker, but we would not learn how he was doing it until it was too late.

Steve reasoned that it was rocks from a distance, so that is why we did not see anything on any of the video.  I guess our minds were continually trying to make a logical excuse for the cause of the noise. We went to sleep with that thought on our minds.

(Police reports later show the “suspect” was not working this evening.  On 9.24.2011 he worked from 12.58 am – 6:11 am & then from 6:40 am – 9:24 am)

Today it is September 22, 2012 – I have been in meeting after meeting, and one thing has become very clear to me.  The “average everyday citizen” is far more outraged by what has happened than the officials of Garfield County have ever been.  People, universally, without exception, want to know answers from me,  what do I think could have been done differently, how do I suggest we go about creating change, how do I think we could improve, how do we as a community stop this from happening again, how do we go about protecting the next young woman?  How, how, how?  I’m sure that together we have all made progress toward that goal, productive ideas, strategies, lists of importance.  Yet at the same time, is it just me, or is every elected official in Garfield County who is responsible to us the citizens ignoring us?  It seems like they are all equally intent on looking the other way, and claiming it did not happen, or promising how there will never be an investigation, or that it used to be natural causes, but now with all these date rape drugs in her system it must have been suicide!!!???  Am I missing something here?  I want the truth, from day one all I have wanted was the truth, I traveled to Los Angeles to hear from some of the best this nation has to offer in their respective fields for the truth.  Morgan deserves the truth.  Yet here at her home, here in Garfield County, I am nothing more than a grief stricken mother who can’t accept it?  Can’t accept what?  That the truth is that every single expert that has been consulted on the death of our daughter Morgan does not agree with natural causes, or suicide as a manner of death, and there have been many experts consulted.  While I do not feel like I am grief stricken, in denial, or having issues with acceptance – I am absolutely positive that the esteemed professional experts that we have consulted with so far are not grief stricken, in denial, or having any acceptance issues!!! They gave their expert opinion, they offered to talk to our Pathologist, they offered to go on camera and explain, they offered to fly to Colorado, and to testify as to their expert opinion.  They are all in agreement that what we have right now is not the truth.  It is anything, but the truth.  But so far it seems to be all for naught, because here it would seem the corner of the carpet had been raised ever so slightly, and a broom is attempting to push all this underneath that carpet.  It is my opinion that firmly grasping the handle of that broom are all the hands of all of the elected officials sworn to protect…to protect Morgan, and protect you.  All I ask is the simple question – why…what is so wrong with the truth, and why is Garfield County so intent on preventing it from ever surfacing?

Click here to read about the 55th day of Morgan’s stalking https://morgansstalking.com/?p=1336 

September 23, 2011 – Day 53 of Morgan’s Stalking

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Dream a little dream

This is now like you would feel after a period of really high tension, and things calm down, and you go way down.  I am so stressed out now I feel like I need a mental health day off from work.  But I plow on, instead of taking off from work I lean on Morgan to spend some time with me in the early evening.  All our time together for so long has been all about the stalker, and now that the video system has seemed to have done the trick, I want to get back to the way it was – I want to do something fun together.

Morgan is going to take her niece out to the store which just excites little Joni to no end.  At 11:14 am I finish the phone end of the arrangements, and text to Morgan, “Ok just call Leesa on her cell when you get there and she’ll bring Joni to the car for you or you can get out and knock on the door – Joni is really excited!”  They have a great time together, and I’m uneasy that the installation of a video system has completely restored order back into our lives, but it certainly seems to have.

After Morgan has fun with Joni and drops her back at her house, it’s my turn with Morgan, and we have a great time talking about all the stuff we used to on quiet days.  We crash out on the couch with her little puppy Wylah sleeping on the floor right under Morgan.  Morgan’s sister is cleaning house, and found a gift from Morgan from a long time ago.  A little clay imprint of Morgan’s hand, glazed and fired, a permanent memento of her little sister.  She texts Morgan, “Look what I found… Little Morgan hand imprint… I put it next to mine for comparison… ;)” There was a picture of the two together, and Morgan’s fingers might have been a little longer, sure sign of a piano player!

That night Morgan goes to the Penny Hot Springs with her friends.  While she is gone, at around 11:00 pm, the motion lights on the back of the house go on.  But it is coupled with nothing else so we record it, but ignore it.  A while later the motion detector driveway alarm also sounds, but same thing, unless Rhonda’s dog joins in, or one of the video cameras sounds, and alarm us we will record it and ignore it.  I wrote a happy face in my day-runner today.  For a while we think all has returned to normal.  Steve reviews the cameras when he gets home, and is happy that every warning of a possible event is nothing on the cameras.

We talk about going somewhere, and doing something.  It is a completely different atmosphere in the house now.  As it all ratcheted up one click at a time, it was hard to really see the full effect.  Now that it had all been released it was really easy to see the difference.  And what a difference it was. . .

(Police reports later show the “suspect” was not working this evening.  On 9.23.2011 he worked from 8:31 am – 12:39 pm & then from 1:10 pm – 3:26 pm)

Click here to read about the 54th day of Morgan’s stalking https://morgansstalking.com/?p=1317

September 22, 2011 – Day 52 of Morgan’s Stalking

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Morgan in her mirror

Morgan in her mirror

Morgan is gone to school in the morning and Steve goes on errands.  A friend comes by, and we talk about Morgan.  Sometimes you have no idea what a pressure cooker you are in until you share it with a friend, and this is one of those times.  We go over all the options, and to my surprise Steve and I have already been over them all, multiple times.  It would seem like a real solution has to be possible, but it has not presented itself yet.

That afternoon Steve takes my car in for new tires.  Now I will feel much safer when Morgan drives it.  My tires were getting pretty bald and I was so worried that a tire might blow out, and she would be easy prey if she were stuck on the side of the road and the stalker saw her.

Today we found the Google Earth pictures that have already been shared on the blog – the ones that show the trail on the berm.  We had not even thought of checking for a satellite shot until one of the sheriffs had noticed the trail and told us about it. It was something we could not wait to share with the sheriff’s detective.  For me it was just as compelling, as far as evidence goes, back then, as it is today, even more so because you could trace it easily on foot.  I held out such hope for his involvement and could not wait to meet him.  I had so much to tell him.

Morgan was home, and in bed, and it was a quiet night.  Steve had another tool for us, a little app for our phones that we could just press and it would record the time and date of any incidents.  He had programmed it with a different button for every location where tapping, or rocks, or whatever it was had banged on the windows in the past.  Up until then I had sat up, turned on the light and typed or wrote in a note.  This promised to be much easier, and the best part was we didn’t need it this night, it was again quiet.

(Police reports later show the “suspect” was not working this evening.  On 9.22.2011 he worked from 12:59 am – 6:12 am & then from 6:39 am – 9:33 am)

Today is September 20, 2012 – I had a long day at work and am just getting back to my blog.   I’m sure I broke at least one blog etiquette rule today, and I am sorry for that.  I was right in the middle of one series of five blogs, and couldn’t help myself as I dove right into another series of four.  If it sounds complicated don’t worry I’ve decided to finish the first series first, and then the second, and I promise by then it will all make sense.  Listen to me, talking like I invented this, if my dear friend Steve Emersen had not suggested a blog a few months back I would not even be here, So thanks Steven, your encouragement has been priceless.

Click here to read about the 53rd day of Morgan’s stalking https://morgansstalking.com/?p=1312

September 20, 2011 – Day 50 of Morgan’s stalking – Have We Scared Him Off?

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I can’t believe it has now been 50 days of stalking, and it has not yet ended – we are wondering out loud now, “Have we scared him off?”

Morgan sends a text message to her teacher, “I might be a little late.”

Everything seemed a little better.  It was such a different experience for me, but now anytime I wanted, I could sit in front of the monitor, and watch outside our house in six rectangles, all sides at once, driveway, back patio, side yards.  It’s all quiet, then a bird flys by one camera, and then I see the same bird frolicking on the next camera.  This is too good to be true.  Why did we wait so long to put up these kind of cameras? This is great – I wrote in my day-runner.

At 5:08 pm Steve sends a text to Morgan, “Just left for Aspen with your Mom, she forgot her phone so I will text you when we are heading home.”  Morgan answers, “Thanks.”  At 6:21 pm Steve sends Morgan a picture of the menu from the restaurant we were in. “Would you like us to bring a salad home?” And Morgan answers, “HaHa, I love you guys, I’m good though, thanks.”

We talked to Morgan on the phone later to coordinate when she would come home. Our guard was not lowered at all, but the stress level had been cut considerably.

(Police reports later show the “suspect” was not working this evening.  On 9.20.2011 he worked from 12:58 am – 6:08 am & then from 6:38 am – 10:33 am)

Morgan outside

Morgan having a moment

 

Today September 18, 2012 – If you have been following the blog you know that a lot has been happening lately.  Our weekend was over in the snap of a finger.  Friends have been calling to see how we are holding up – we have learned to smile and tell them, “We are fine” it’s always easier then explaining how we truly feel.  Steve and I look at each other and shrug, we are not going to stop, so whatever happens we just have to find a way to welcome it.

 

Last night we did take a break.  Steve took me out to Konnyaku, a restaurant in Carbondale, it was one of Morgan’s favorite restaurants, she would never turn down an invitation from us to meet there for lunch or dinner.  It was like cheating when we wanted to steal her away from her friends for a little time to talk.

But we haven’t been there since Morgan was killed.  As you have all guessed, there have been a lot of tears for Steve and I.  We are learning to live with them much better now, and we have even begun to appreciate the “happy tears,” the ones that fill our hearts with hope, and last night was a one of the few occasions Steve and I have had a “happy tear moment” We promised each other that there will be many more.

Morgan draws a heart

Morgan drew hearts everywhere

It was really tough to be at Konnyaku at first, just like old times and yet to know Morgan would never be there in body, only in spirit, but it was really great to have some hugs, and hear kind thoughts.  The complete surprise was when they brought out a sushi roll that was not round, it was pressed into a heart shape and they called it the ‘Morgan roll’ – we all had such happy tears!  Then they wouldn’t even let us pay for dinner!  Thank you Susan and Willie, that little break was much needed and your thoughtfulness will stay with Steve and I forever.

Click here to read about the 51st day of Morgan’s stalking https://morgansstalking.com/?p=1274

September 19, 2011 – Day 49 of Morgan’s Stalking – Why Do All These Cameras Worry Him?

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It was a calm day, Morgan loved the new cameras so much!  She felt some level of protection, so did I.  She brought a group of friends in to see how the house was like a fortress now.  Her stalker could not just walk up to our house anymore, not without his picture on video being captured.  Morgan seemed to take a measure of confidence and safety and for me, that was priceless.  It was almost a normal day, it had been so long, I had forgotten what it felt like.

That evening Steve texted Morgan to tell her he was cooking, “Making dinner right now – coming home?” Morgan texted back, “Is it OK if I eat at Caldos?”  Morgan turning down a dinner of Steve’s was not often. He turned to me after looking at his phone and said, “She is so happy, I can just feel it!”  He texted her “Sure,” and asked her if she could pick up coffee on the way home.  Morgan asked what kind and he told her.  It was so easy to slip back into denial, that now we had solved this problem, it may have taken us a while, but we did.  There is not a thing written in my dayrunner for today.  Every other page is crammed with notes – notes that were going to save Morgan somehow.

Later Steve would tell me that he could sense the alien out there, somewhere.  Looking at the cameras and stroking his chin, wondering what they were, how far they peered into the night, how he could avoid this new detection.  Avoid arrest.  It was only a new challenge for him, he was probably excited we had raised the stakes.

(Police reports later show the “suspect” did not working on 9.19.2011)

Today on September 16, 2012, I spoke with a young woman that is currently being stalked, if only I could have reached through the telephone lines and hugged her I would have.  She needed a big hug, and she needs help.  I fear for anyone being stalked, not meant to keep them up at night, only to keep them safe and let them enjoy the life they were given.  The life they deserve.  That is every person’s right and it is not being respected.  Steve and I, and most of all Morgan – we all learned that the hard way and no one else should have to go through what we did.  It is just not right.

Click here to read about the 50th day of Morgan’s stalking https://morgansstalking.com/?p=1249