New Pointe shoes, ready for a workout!

Morgan’s friend Nathan slept over last night and she slept out on the couch as well.  They watched movies till late in the night and it was a quiet night for us all.  In the morning Nathan and Steve left for work and Morgan got dressed to go to ballet and dance classes, but then she was a little too squeamish and decided to go to her first class, and see how it went, and then she came home, and skipped her second class.  She was thinking maybe a new flu was coming on and she didn’t want to infect her friends.  She also wanted to be back on her feet for the weekend, as she would be taking care of young children for the returning military families, so I encouraged her to take it easy and rest, and she did.

Steve came by at 3:00 and was all caught up with his work.  He was ready to start the move of his shop and could not wait for the whole move of shop and house to be complete.  Of course we had not really started yet so that sounded very optimistic.  He dropped Nate off in Carbondale and went to his now old shop to pack his office.  Morgan went to Carbondale with Wylah and I waited at home for Detective Glassmire.  I thought it was just going to be another regular meeting with nothing much to report, but I was in for a pleasant surprise.

At 3:51 pm I sent a text to Detective Glassmire, “Rob do you know about when you might be here?  Morgan is about 10 minutes from our house and I just want to let her know to come home in time.  Thanks.”  He replied back, “I am in Carbondale now working on my laptop, I can get there anytime, let me know.”  He also told me he was just coming to check the cameras and Morgan could just stay in Carbondale, so I relayed that message to her.

Detective Glassmire came over and I helped him get the ladder from the garage. He went out and checked his cameras and saw nothing.  I explained to him about the motion detectors that had been taken from their “perches” and moved to the ground and he shook his head.  I went on to tell him that Steve had been up really early researching the event because it really bothered him, how it had been done with such apparent ease.

I told him how our motion equipment had been detecting something in the front corner of the house and Steve had come up with yet another plan to paint two detectors to match the surroundings and then placed them both aimed at the corner of the house.  Then he made sure that two of the video cameras were aimed right at them and was so certain he would catch something.  He wore clothes to bed that night he was so sure.

But I told Detective Glassmire that it wasn’t even fifteen minutes later that they were both on the ground and nothing was caught on the cameras.  So what was really bothering Steve was that this morning until he saw a “Myth Busters Youtube” that showed how easy it was to defeat a motion detector and he later found how a person with a laser light, something he had seen off in the distance months ago, could mess with our video cameras easily and Steve ended up leaving for work completely distraught that it might be that the stalker was slowing down for winter and it might well be that he had figured ways around all of the deterrents we had and that was why we weren’t seeing anything anymore.  But then I told him how Morgan was still getting startled awake at all hours.

I asked the detective if it was possible we were so over-vigilant that we had begun hearing things or was the stalker right here more than ever?  I told him how we were coming to wits end with all of this.  Glassmire looked at me for a second and then bent down picked up a dirt clod from the ground and flung it at our house.  I jumped and it struck the house with a loud “BANG”.  He looked at me and said, “You are not crazy Toni, there is your stalker, he is still here.”

I agreed with the detective and told him that Steve does not know what to do.  Rob told me that he thought if anything he was going to escalate now.  That really scared me and I asked what we should do?  He told me not to worry, but be careful.  He was going to pick up Keenan’s hours the following Tuesday and he thought that would be a big step, maybe even the final breakthrough in an arrest.

This was shocking to me. I had not expected to hear that.  A long time ago, we were told an arrest would come only after catching him at the house.  I asked him if he really thought that, and he said that he did.  He also said the formal interview with Morgan would help too, and that was scheduled for the following Tuesday.  It was exciting to think that all of a sudden it had come so far.  This morning Steve was thinking it was all a lost cause and now it was on the verge of ending – in arrest.

We said our goodbyes around 5:00 pm and Detective Glassmire put the ladder away and left.  I called Steve and had a quick talk with him about all of the positive developments and he was cheered up.  He left to come home, and just as I began to peel potatoes for dinner, there was a loud “BANG” again on the front of the house that was sharper and louder than Detective Glassmire’s dirt clod.  It was far more like a gunshot against the garage, and I ran out front to see what it was.  The dogs were startled, as was I, but my first thought was a sonic boom (which I had never heard in Colorado before – only as a child in California) or maybe something large, like the ladder in the garage falling over and hitting something.

Only like everything else there was nothing, by the time I got to the front of the house there was no car just leaving the street, no people closing the front door behind them – nothing.  I just stood and watched the empty street, tree branches slowly waving in a light breeze and giving up their last leaves.  I opened the garage and searched its corners – nothing was out of place.  It was so maddening!

I closed up and went back in the house.  Then I texted Morgan when dinner was going to be and asked when could she be home.  She told me that Nate had just left for the bar and she was waiting for him, but thought it wouldn’t be more than fifteen minutes.

Steve drove up and I heard his truck,  he came in and we talked about my afternoon meeting with Detective Glassmire.  Steve was calmed so much by all the good news and went to clean up before dinner.

Morgan came home, ate with us and was very excited by everything the detective had told me.  She went to sleep around 10:00 pm, and as I got in bed I saw flashlights in back of house.  Steve told me it was Patrol Officers looking for something, and as I was falling asleep, I told Steve they were increasing the patrols by the house too.  It was all such good news and I was only too content to not argue with any of it.

Today is November 24, 2012 – And as I look back that night was so positive.  I really felt that they really, really wanted to catch this stalker and protect Morgan – it just hasn’t happened yet.  I know it all went horribly wrong but I am still not sure why.  Parts of the truth are still hidden in the shadows.  But as Steve and I have found out bit by bit this year, so much happened over the next few days that was stacked against Morgan, only there was also the component of so much that did not happen to help protect her.  For others we must change not just one but both of those factors.

I missed Morgan so very much this week, and I knew it would be hard.  I want to thank all of you for your emails and words of encouragement.  I agree with so many of you that after I make it through this week I will get stronger and stronger.  I can’t wait to get back home and put it all together now, even the parts I have been putting off.  This year has been such a blur when I think about it, but for some reason I can’t really explain, it has all become more in focus now.  Thank you all for sharing Morgan’s story with me, it has been such an honor to be able to share it.

Click here to read about the 121st day of Morgan’s stalking https://morgansstalking.com/?p=2425

Today is Saturday and we are looking forward to our niece, Morgan’s cousin coming over on her way back to college, now that the Thanksgiving holiday week is winding down.  It’s starting to get really cold now in the mountains – I keep hoping that since we will be going into December soon, the snow will come. stick to the ground, and this stalking will end (footprints show up really well in the snow), we can move, and everything will go back to normal.

This morning at 9:45 am Morgan’s friend B. sends her a text asking what she is up to this evening.  He says he gets off work at 5:00 pm and might want to hang out.  He tells her their friend T. is in town for Thanksgiving and he will be checking in with him to see what’s up too.  Morgan is excited and she asks that he let her know, since everyone may be getting together tonight for a mini reunion.  So far it’s been a quiet day – we all just hang out at the house, do laundry and clean up a bit.  The dogs crash out on the floor next to the couch while Morgan watches a movie.  Then Morgan gets a text from D @ 2:10 pm, “Let’s meet tomorrow then?  Call me when u wake up and let’s do this!  I so wanna spend time with u girlie!”  Morgan texted him back,  “I would love that!  Will do :)” D texted back, “xoxo!  I’m very excited. 🙂 So overdue” Morgan texts, “I agree completely.”  Later in the afternoon Morgan leaves to go pick up a friend, and Steve and I head out to the grocery store.

At 6:40 pm I send Morgan a text telling her that her cousin is on the way over to our house, and dad and I are on our way home.  I tell her if you’re not home with your friend yet please head home.  Morgan sends me back a text saying she knows her cousin is on her way, and that she is already home – she has started to bake a cake.  When Steve and I arrive home the music is playing, Morgan and her cousin are in the kitchen waiting for the cake to come out of the oven, and talking as fast as two girls can talk; trying to get in all the updates as fast as they can.  It’s so nice to feel the energy in the house.  Then Morgan stops to tell me that right after her cousin came in her friend Nathan thought he saw someone through the front door window – he walked outside and looked around, but didn’t see anyone.  This was before we got home so we checked the cameras and could see Nathan walk slowly down the driveway, look up and down the street and then go back in the house, but that is all we saw.  When our niece was ready to leave we walked her to her car, to make sure she was safe – everyone hugged, and kissed and said goodbye, never realizing that this was the last time the two girls would ever see each other.

Morgan turned to tell us her and Nathan were going out for a little while, and then they would be back at the house together later this evening – she would not be coming home alone so we could go to sleep whenever we wanted, and didn’t have to wait up for her.

Tonight at 10:57 pm (on my timeline, looking back now 11:00 pm seems to be a very popular time for the stalker) there is a loud bang – Morgan had already gotten home, but wasn’t asleep yet.  At this time we never realized the stalker was getting on the roof of our house, so of course we checked the cameras on her side of the house, but again, did not see anything.  Why didn’t we ever think he was on the roof?  I did hear sounds up in the ceiling, but there was a crawl space up there – Steve had been up there when he was installing the cameras, so he said he thought I was hearing a mouse or a bird.  The evening started out so nice and now another fitful night…

Click here to read about the 118th day of Morgan’s stalking https://morgansstalking.com/?p=2385

I recently read this submission, by someone over the Internet, and thought she summed it up rather eloquently – so please read this, as I have not approved some comments that have tried to make it on to “MY” blog, because there are still some people in this world that hold onto the belief that we should always blame the victim…which in my mind is so very wrong!

Written by Jenn: We discussed the concept of blaming the victim in my Social Psychology course. In class we learned about why this occurs. When we hear of something horrible that has happened to someone else (i.e. murder, rape, assault, etc.) this scares us. Our minds react to tell ourselves that this person made some poor choice that led to this horrible event. So, we blame the victim for using poor judgment instead of placing the blame on the offender.

Sometimes it is harder to admit that horrible things can happen to anyone regardless of who they are or what choices they’ve made. It makes us feel safe and in control to blame the victim. We think if the victim would have done something different they wouldn’t have been attacked, assaulted, kidnapped, raped, murdered, etc. Therefore if we make the right choices then we won’t be attacked, assaulted, kidnapped, raped, murdered, etc.

We must face that we live in a world where horrible things happen to good or bad people, to intelligent or naive people, to prepared or unprepared people. Our choices don’t always matter. Sometimes we even make poor choices but nothing bad happens. We walk down an unsafe alley and are not attacked. So when we hear of someone who walked down an unsafe alley and were attacked we cannot blame that person for being attacked. The offender/perpetrator should be blamed; they chose to attack, murder, rape, assault, kidnap, etc.

Understanding why we blame the victim isn’t meant to pardon this thought process but to explain it (just because something in the human thought process is explained doesn’t mean that it is right and just). Although this is a common response we should not blame the victim in order to satiate our fears. By understanding why humans do this, maybe we can stop ourselves when we start to blame the victim or when we see others do this. Being educated on why humans do certain things or think in a certain way can help us to be aware of our irrational thinking, correct it, as well as educating others on this matter.

Here are my thoughts:

Not only do the perpetrators of crime, and their supporters, engage in victim blaming, but sometimes, unknowingly, law enforcement engage in it as well when investigating reports of stalking.

From the Oxford University Press – terminology: Victim blaming
Ways of thinking about the causes of criminal victimization which seek explanations from the individual victim’s conduct and the victim’s relationship with the offender, rather than looking for wider social factors which help to explain victimization. In the context of police investigations, victim blaming can take the form of disbelieving the victim’s report of a crime being committed, or giving some types of incident lower priority on the grounds that the victim is less deserving than others.