Remember the simple things in life – like brushing your child’s hair…

MorganwithMomI loved Morgan’s hair…actually I love everything about Morgan.  Her smile, her eyes, her voice, her cuddles, everything.  I miss everything about her – I miss Morgan.  Some mornings I wake up and just cry, I know it is the grieving process, but I still tell myself, “I want Morgan back, I want to wake up and see this was all just a bad dream.”  But that never happens, and it never will.  I know, just like all the other parents that have lost a child, that I will carry this pain with me until the day I die.  Don’t believe anyone that tells you it gets better over time – it doesn’t.  I think you just get better at managing it over the years.  But even if you get better at managing it – it still gets away from you at times when you least expect it, and the tears flow.

It always seemed like Morgan loved having me brush her hair and braid it.  Even when she was an adult, she would sometimes ask me if I could put a french braid in her hair before she went to bed.  I think she knew I enjoyed it and it became one of our bonding moments over the years that we did together.  Just like squeezing each others hands to say, “I love you,” without words, or doing a girl’s night together where we would both give ourselves facials and laugh at how funny we looked.  All those precious memories are all I have left of Morgan.  I am so grateful that I have them – nothing can take away the love of a child, not even death.

Parents never think they will loose a child.  We usually think we will pass before our children, and when a loved one is violently ripped from your life your whole world changes. I can no longer see Morgan’s bright light, but nevertheless I can “feel” it.  And I know others can too.  They tell me that the “felt” her right when they needed her.  She still comes to comfort them, and to let them know she is okay.

 

Don’t Cut the Victims of Crime Act Funding!!!

Just received this notification from COVA – URGENT!

Don’t Cut VOCA
 
 Calls Needed Immediately: 
VOCA Funding for Victims of Crime Under Threat
November 3, 2015

 

Please forward Widely!
 
We must make our voices clear and loud right now to sustain VOCA funding
While many aspects of the Bipartisan Budget Act of 2015, signed by President Obama this week, are good for vulnerable people, steady funding for the Victims of Crime Act (VOCA) is at risk.  Looking for ways to provide additional funding for defense and human needs, the Budget deal took $1.5 billion out of the non-taxpayer-generated VOCA funds, which are dedicated to direct victim services, to pay for the overall increase in funding. If this deal is sustained, the amount of VOCA funds allocated each year could be much lower than last year’s appropriations and the similar current amount budgeted in both the U.S. House ($2.7 billion) and Senate ($2.6 billion). Appropriations bills for FY 2016 will determine if VOCA is funded at the 2015 and 2016 recommended levels.
 Call your Members of Congress right now (especially if they are on the Appropriations committees or party leaders, see below) with this message:

“Do not reduce the funds allocated for VOCA.  We count on VOCA to fund direct services such as (name critical services such as shelter, rape crisis services, legal assistance, direct counseling, etc.). This money comes from criminal fines, not taxpayer money and barely meets the needs of programs and services to victims.  In 2015, VOCA was increased in order to truly help the many victims who have been going without critical support services. There is at least $12 billion balance in this fund and VOCA dedicated funding is a small part of that.  If VOCA is cut from the 2015 level, it will be devastating. It will harm our programs by (include details such as – reduced numbers of victims who could be served,  reduced professional and skilled staff, reduced or eliminated victim service and prevention programs). In this year’s Appropriations process and beyond, Congress must maintain its commitment to helping the most vulnerable victims escape and heal from violence and abuse and rebuild their lives. Please don’t turn back the clock on victims. Please tell Appropriators that victims in [Your state] are counting on sustained VOCA funds.  With over $12 billion in the VOCA fund, this is not the time to cut funding for victim services.”

 

To reach your Representative and Senator:
 Find your Senators and Representative here 
; enter your full nine-digit zip code for the best results.  You will be taken to their contact info, including phone number.  Be sure to say you are a constituent!  You can also call the Capitol switchboard: (202) 224-3121. Choose Representative and then enter your zip code to be transferred. When you are done leaving a message for your Representative, call back and follow the same process to leave messages for your Senators. Special attention should be given to the Senate and House Appropriations committee members, so if your Members are either with us or hopeless, contact the “money” folks who will decide how to divvy up the funds.

 

Tweet ’til you drop:
@your Senators’ and Representative’s Twitter handle  (you can find this in the search box at the top right hand part of your screen)
Please protect the Victims of Crime Act. Rape Crisis Centers need to help victims on waiting lists. #DontCutVOCA
Domestic violence victims need VOCA to stay safe. Too many are turned away. #DontCutVOCA
#DontCutVOCA when the FY 15 increase is just starting to help hurting victims.
#DontCutVOCA just when survivors of sexual assault are finding courage to seek services.
 
Key contacts: 
@HalRogersKY
@CongCulberson
@SpeakerRyan
@SenatorBarb
@SenShelby
@SenateMajLdr


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Colorado Organization for Victim Assistance
1325 S Colorado Blvd, Suite 508 B
Denver, CO 80222

Halloween 2011…I see her over and over again

morganhalloweenI see my sweet youngest daughter, over and over again every Halloween, just as you see her here in her mouse costume.  Did you notice the heart drawn on her shoulder?  She put hearts everywhere – it was a Morgan thing. 🙂  This was her last Halloween.  She was having fun with her friends after they all came over to carve pumpkins & roast the seeds.

I see Morgan’s sweet face and wish with all my heart that I could kiss and hug her again…I know until the day I die I will wish the same thing.  How could people live among us in this world that can take a life and not care?  I have been told over and over again that there are many people in this world that are sociopaths and for them other lives have no meaning.  But as a mother I want to scream, “Why my child?”  She did nothing wrong…she was a loving, giving soul.  Then I think back on all the children that have been taken over the years.  It doesn’t matter what they were like they were still loved and their parents are still fighting for justice.  You should hear some of their stories…it is just not right…no one has the right to end another’s life against their will.  It is not right, and never will be right.

It is really hard some days with all the holidays coming up.  I want my baby back, but I know I can’t have that one wish.  The pain never goes away and I am pretty sure it never will.  I am no longer the person I used to be because a piece of my heart called Morgan disappeared the day she died.  That missing piece will never be replaced.  But a funny thing happened tonight that made me want to write this blog.  I was lying in bed feeling very sad and all of a sudden I saw a “flash” picture of Morgan pop in front of my face, she was upside down smiling to surprise me.  It made me smile and disappeared just as fast as it came.  Maybe most of you think I must have been dreaming, but I wasn’t.  My eyes were closed, but I was wide awake and just sad – I can feel Morgan around me most of the time, but it is really a wonderful surprise when she pops in to cheer me up.  So now when I see her Halloween picture I am reminded of all the fun we all had and I am grateful for that.  Still sad because I can’t have future holidays with Morgan, but grateful for all the wonderful times we did have together…I feel blessed.

TODAY IS NATIONAL DAY OF REMEMBRANCE FOR MURDER VICTIMS

murder victims_thumb[2]

 

ALWAYS REMEMBER AND KEEP THEM IN YOUR HEART

Do your police know how to stop your stalker?

HawaiisignIf you don’t know what you are up against how can you protect yourself?

Research into stalking behavior has led to classifications of the different types of stalkers.  Typology of Morgan’s stalker – Serial predatory stalker

Do your police know how to stop your stalker?

Our sheriff’s department had no clue about how to stop a stalker and it cost Morgan her life. Don’t let this happen to you! The single biggest piece of information we need to share with all other victims is that we knew far too little about stalking at that time, and what we know now we learned far too late for Morgan. So educate yourself with all the information you can find about stalkers and other stalking situations.  There are many good resources for stalking victims on the Internet as well as books, etc.  Another suggestion, if you are a current victim that is being stalked contact your state’s victims rights specialist and ask for advice and help.

We now know Morgan’s stalker was what is called a predatory stalker. This type of stalker has telling signs that were all there in Morgan’s case.

  • They hide their identity – In Morgan’s case he chose the cover of darkness, hiding in bushes, on our roof, it was so erie and frightening at the time to look out into darkness and just know he could be right there watching and waiting.
  • They want their victim to know they are right there, tapping on windows is a common trait – in Morgan’s case he was able to tap and bang on her windows without detection for months It was years after her death before we had enough clues to know how he might have been able to do this and it is actually quite simple.
  • They stalk for a shorter period of time
  • The are the most likely to end in violence
  • Researchers believe that during the stalking they fantasize about the all important end, plotting and planning exactly what they are going to do and how they are going to do it.

These were all very large red flags that we knew nothing about at the time. Morgan’s felony stalking detective that was assigned to her case told us he had just gone to a seminar on stalking and suggested we read this book they had given to them in his class.  I purchased the book and read it.  I then started asking questions about the connections and suggestions in the book as it pertained to Morgan’s stalking.  The detective then discounted what the book was saying.

We have been told that Morgan’s stalker, and his accomplice both had extensive juvenile criminal records, and we found out after Morgan’s murder that her stalker also had adult criminal records for many things including breaking and entering as well as criminal trespass (another term for stalking?).  Other parents also came to us after Morgan’s murder to inform us that her stalker was a drug dealer and from a gang where he met his accomplice.  All these things were not known to us at the time of Morgan’s stalking, but they were known to the Garfield County Sheriffs, and my question is…how could they have not known Morgan was in extreme danger, and why did they not share this information with us so we could have made sure she fled her stalker?

Morgan’s stalker was an accomplished trophy hunter from a very young age, very skilled in bow hunting which requires the utmost in abilities of concealment for long periods of time to be successful – perfect training for a stalker. He was a trophy hunter traveling the country in search of larger and more challenging prey to stalk and kill. This is yet another red flag. A retired FBI profiler believes that if there is a pool of suspects, and one is a trophy hunter, then he is your top suspect.

Does your stalker have a long history of stalking?

Serial stalkers bring greatly increased danger to their stalking, there was a long history of stalking in our area, only the sheriffs didn’t call it stalking. They wrote in their reports harassment, trespass, minor things like that, but never stalking.  Perhaps this keeps their crime statistics low and they like it like that. In Morgan’s case early on the patrol deputies told us about 5 separate incidents the summer before in the neighborhood across from us.  The same MO of tapping on the windows and a hooded figure dressed all in black staring up at their windows.  They said on the last incident a trash can was knocked over, the young woman visiting from out of town and alone in the house thought maybe it was a bear or some other kind of wildlife so she opened the door to see what it was and was shocked to see a person all dressed in black with a hood over their head.  Startled she ran back in the house, locked the door and called 911.  The hooded figure took off.  Patrol officers were luckily near by at that time and had a tracking dog with them.  They tracked the offender for over a mile and then lost him – most likely because of the water in the irrigation ditches at that time.

But then the felony stalking detective assigned to Morgan’s case said “I looked in to this and discovered it was really a rash of car stereo thefts not stalking at all.”  At least that is what he told me. I had a hard time believing the other 2 sheriff’s patrol officers individually made up the story about the previous summer so I was suspicious, but other people said I should believe the detective, why wouldn’t I?  But it was a lie. And the the truth began to present itself after Morgan’s murder – this was a serial stalker. I learned the truth, first because of the blog … other victims that had been stalked in the neighborhood across the road from us wrote in, one incident had happened just 2 weeks before Morgan returned back from California and her stalking had started.  They said they reported their incidents to the sheriffs and the sheriffs came out to their homes to investigate.  If these people had not written in to me I would never have known that the detective had been lying, something he did whenever he needed, but for what reason?  Was this all to keep the crime statistics low.  Were they worried if the truth came out the tourist industry would be hit?  Do they just not care about women – are girls and young woman in Garfield County not worth their time?  Crimes against women in the Garfield County Colorado area do exist, but you never hear about them.  What is going on?

You need to be your own advocate.  You need to take every precaution necessary to stay safe…you can not count on law enforcement to do that for you.  I love that Discovery ID says, “Finding The Truth Starts With Suspicion.”  It is so true.

We were all born with intuition for a reason.  Be skeptical about what you hear.  Sometimes people make up nonsensical excuses (lies) for things you know are not right.  Your “gut” will tell you when things don’t make sense and if they don’t make sense they are most likely wrong.

Be your own advocate for not only yourself, but your family as well.  Eyes wide open, see the facts for yourself instead of believing what others would like you to believe.  The facts don’t lie…the truth is the truth no matter how hard people try to hide it.