In December I received the following from other stalking victims:

First and foremost I am very very sorry for your loss. I just finished watching your episode on Dr. Phil and I was very moved by your story. Your daughter was so young and beautiful and I have no words to express how sorry I am for your loss.

I believe you and your husband with all my heart, I feel the police did not do their jobs correctly and I pray that you get the proper investigation that you deserve.

I was stalked by and ex boyfriend. I was with him for 5 years and he made my life a living hell. I was afraid to leave because he was both physically and mentally abusive towards me and threatened if I left he would kill me or permanently disfigured me so I can no longer model, as I am a full time model. Plus he happened to be a detective for the police department and he would use that to his advantage to torment me. When I did finally get the courage to leave it all became hell. I called the police numerous times and it was almost as if they were protecting him. The internal affairs investigation was BS and they said they couldn’t proceed with it until the criminal investigation in court was concluded. I have a temporary order of protection against him and that’s been ongoing for 3 years. We are still going to court, and he and his lawyer must have adjourned it 30 times! Now he’s retired and internal affairs says they can no longer investigate him, because he’s no longer employed by the police department! So I definitely feel an injustice too.

I’m sorry to ramble on and there is a lot more, but I don’t want to take up anymore of your time. My purpose of this letter was to let you know that the police can be very sneaky in protecting themselves and being lazy. Especially when they know they’re in the wrong they will go above and beyond to cover up what they did. HOWEVER if it was their daughter they would feel differently. I have a lot of empathy for people, and I’m truly sorry again for your loss, when I put myself in your shoes and have no idea what I would do.

Your husband and you handle yourself very intelligently, and were very composed, I give you a tremendous amount of credit.

If there is anything I could do to help you or get the word out please let me know, I have a big following on the Internet.

Have a wonderful blessed day.

And another from December:

There is so much I want to say after finding this blog.  I was stalked for a little over 18 years. That experience changed my life and changed who I am.  Prior to that I would have never supported owning a gun, or ever thought I could aim, and shoot.  I know I could kill now if I had to.  I also had to deal with the Sheriff’s dept of the county of San Diego, and they would not even come out when I called for help.  My torment ended after my stalker shot at his father, and a neighbor across the street.  My stalker lived next door, and even though I had him arrested once, I could not get any help.  (Short version of my story)

And here are more stories from January:

Thanks for this blog being up. I’m so sorry that this happened to everyone in your family. I really appreciate how dedicated you are to preventing things like this from happening again, and your transparency about what happened. Your honesty comes through and inspires me to feel like I can still find ways to try to get through this even though I feel like I’m working by myself on it.

I’ve been stalked for 6 years now by my ex and I wish that my parents and family would be half as supportive as you guys are. I totally understand how frustrating working with the police is, they’ve seriously tried to discourage me from even thinking there’s anything that’s happening, or that I can do anything about it.

I’ve found that having a lawyer is about 3,000 times more efficient than the police. Hopefully I can eventually put an end to this.  I haven’t slept feeling safe in years. I also want to thank you for all the wonderful tips for survival.  I’ll take all of them I can get.

Good luck with your case, if there’s anything I can do I will.

In solidarity

Then in February:

Mrs. Ingram,

I have been glued to my screen the last few days, every chance I get to read Morgan’s story from beginning to current, and it’s broken my heart a little more every page at a time. I am so, so very sorry for what has happened to your family, the terror you have lived through, and the unimaginable loss of your daughter.  I wish there was more comfort to be given than “I’m so sorry” but I know that as someone who has not lost a child, I cannot fully comprehend this. On your September 30th blog, you mentioned you wanted stories from victims… and I have a small story.

A few years ago when I worked in a public library, a young man who came in relatively regularly (and always been very polite) started to chat with me at the desk, and quickly went from “how about that nice weather” to “What do you want to do with your life?” I firmly, but very kindly shut him down, saying to him, “It’s against work policy for me to discuss my personal life.” Well, he left very angry and I did not see him again for perhaps a year. Then… he came back. Reintroduced himself… and began to leave notes for me at the desk. He came in when there was less security in the building, he always sat at a computer where he could see me at my work desk, and just… watched. I notified my boss about it, and she made an incident report. Then, a month later he tried to give me jewelry, which I firmly declined, telling him that I cannot accept gifts. ” Again, he became terribly angry and stormed away, and I made another incident report with my boss. Some time later he came up to the desk while I was away and tried to get the girl there to give out where I was working behind the desk hat day, and then tried to get my number to call me, and then angry, stormed away only to return 20 minutes later with a note addressed to me, along with his number begging me to call him. I photocopied the note, attached it to an email to my boss and filled out another incident report. By then, all of our security guards were aware of this, and both police officers that worked part-time there were aware of his description.

At any urban library there’s a few crazies and a few inappropriate people, but you must always follow your instincts. What made me so afraid of this man wasn’t that he would get angry, or that he would storm away from my desk or even that he tried to give me things… what scared me was how smart he was. I saw the books he read, and he was well-read. I had spoken enough with him to recognize a wide vocabulary, an articulate and precise way with words and a keen sense of humor… and that someone that intelligent, and relatively socially graceful as he was (other librarians would remark that he seemed so nice, and so much fun to help look for books with), he could not understand, or refused to understand that how he was behaving towards me was even slightly inappropriate or menacing.  Whenever he was in at the end of the day, and left with the other patrons when we closed, and I closed that day, one of our security personnel or other staff members would drive me to my car so that he would not see me exit the building, or get a sense of where I lived. I changed up my parking, I occasionally got rides from coworkers so my car wasn’t there, and I changed my routes to my car frequently so that it would be harder to figure out which car was mine.

Eventually, I saw him less and less in the building and I was finally grateful when I took a job in a law firm instead.

Interestingly, he never made an attempt (to my knowledge) to approach me outside of my job, and I am grateful that it never escalated beyond that. Now, this was less than a year ago since I’ve last seen him, but my former boss has kept my incident reports on file, we have him on security footage, and since my law firm is in the same area as the library I am still,t o this day wary about walking down there. I keep hoping and praying that that was all it ever will be, but I haven’t completely let down my guard…

And again here is another story:

I commented earlier, right after seeing the show. I was about to leave for work and didn’t have a lot of time. You are so gracious to thank Dr. Phil after being on the show. It was good that you got to share your story, or I would have never known. But, honestly, that is all the thanks Dr. Phil deserves. He tried to make you look like a bad person. He implied your daughter used alcohol and drugs. If she did, would that justify what happened to her? Of all the people supporting your blog, he found and AIRED one critic. He barely asked the other people any questions that would explain their relationship to your family.

I am a 41 years old teacher. I was stalked and my entire family was terrorized when I was 23 years old. It went on for a year, until one female judge finally got the case in her court and put my stalker away for a year. For one year of punishment, I have a lifetime of emotional damage. You and your family need justice AND psychological healing. Dr. Phil did not appear to offer you either one. Your airing is and was the last time I watched his show.

And then here is a similar thing that happened to me when I was 11 years old, walking home from school (my mother did not believe me either, and never called the police to report the incident) – here is the story that another reader emailed to me:

Long ago, I was stalked.  When I was 14 years old walking home from the 7 eleven a car was following me.  He stayed behind me and slowly stayed far enough back to where I didn’t notice him until I turned a corner into my neighborhood, then I noticed him.  I had an angel or guide that led me to safety.  At the last possible minute I crossed the street before mine, and he started to speed up to catch me, and I took off running, weaving in and out of houses, and then I laid low behind a big thick hedge.  I heard his car going up and down the street, when I heard him on the 3^rd time at the end of the street away from me, I ran into my house, locked the doors, and peaked out of the window.  He went up and down at least 10 times trying to locate which house.  I do believe he would have kidnapped me and killed me for it was a small neighborhood where I knew every car and his car I have never seen.  Melbourne, Florida was where I lived at the time.  I never got a good look at him, only his car, and silhouette.   I told my mother when she got home from work (I was a latch key), but she didn’t believe me so the police were never called.   I lived in fear for a year, afraid to go to the bus stop, or anywhere for that matter.  I can relate a little bit, however I wasn’t stalked on a daily bases this was only one incident, so I know the fear I felt, and I cannot imagine what 4 months would have been like.

Then this stalking victim said:

He followed me in the car as I walked, staying back far enough to where I didn’t hear the car, but I was able to see his silhouette and car.  There were two people that were in the news that could match him.  A serial killer named Gerald Stano, and Ted Bundy.  I do believe it was Gerald Stano for he was into the type of car that this perp drove, and he was also known to drive down to Brevard County.    Once I was aware he was following me I did not run right away, I knew I had to get into a position first.  This is what saved my life!  If I ran the second I knew he was following me, he would have caught up to me.  I crossed the street and stepped on to the sidewalk before my street, letting him think I lived down that street, and I did not walk fast, or show body language, that would have let him know that I knew he was following me.  When I crossed the street, I was able to turn my head to get a look at the car and saw his silhouette.  Once I got close enough to a house 3^rd house down the street is when I took off running for my life!

I just have to send this to someone since nobody believes me to this day!  No even my mother.

The car I saw was GREEN, it had one of those scoops on the front hood, the guy had dark hair, a little curly and short, not fat and not thin either.

I read this only last year, and this is when I figured out who stalked me.

This is an except from a book.  The writer Kimberly interviewed Stano when he was in prison.  One of his statements is in italic.  Notice he stated “Then I would go out riding around and I would find a girl walking”

Here he describes his car.  When I figured it out, I literally freaked out, and to this day I have survivors guilt.  If my mom had believed me, and I was able to give a description of his car, maybe I could have saved lives!  This was 1974/75 time frame.  It also was reported and suspected that a few deaths around my area are connected to Stano, but Stano would not confess to them.  One was a guy that lived off of US 1 just 4 miles south of where I lived.

The street I was walking down on the right side on sidewalk of Albeto:  My street was Fairfax top left, I crossed the street at Galleon Ave.  I noticed him soon as I turned on to the main straight away. Jackson street. The 3^rd house in on the right I hid in the thick bush.  My house on Fairfax Ave. was directly behind the 3^rd house, I hid in the bush.

PS: This is a dump of a neighborhood now, back then it was a brand new subdivision.

3.7.2013 

Like yesterday, for today’s blog I decided to just post a few of the emails I have received from other stalking victims again (these all came in last October & November) – all of these emails have made us more aware of the plight of other stalking victims, so I feel that all of these stories can do the same for others…what we can learn from these experiences can help us change the way things are done in the future.

This reader wrote in last October:

First, I wanted to say what an amazing thing it is that you are doing by sharing your story!  I can’t even begin to imagine how hard this has been for you, but you are raising awareness for something so terrible! Thank you for that!

I just read yesterday’s blog where you mentioned a phone number, and how it was a 904 number, and then he posted a different number on his FB… This reminded me of a situation with an ex-boyfriend about a year and a half ago.

He would text & call me non-stop, paying no attention to my multiple requests asking him to stop. (I was told to ask him to stop so that I had proof that I was not ‘asking’ for him to text or call). I finally decided to change my phone number (which apparently costs $) to get it to stop, but somehow he managed to get the number.. I guess that people I thought were ‘friends’ didn’t care to respect my wishes not to give him my number. I then found out that AT&T offered parental controls / smart limits for wireless. For $4.99/mo I could add this to my plan so I would be able to block a ‘limited’ amount of numbers, and I remember thinking there was no price for the peace of mind I would get from not receiving these calls & texts anymore. Well, that didn’t last long – the iphone has some silly little app (I wish I knew what it was called) that he was able to download and make calls from, but it would not show the call from his actual registered cell #. I would never answer any number I didn’t know, but he would always leave a message or a text, so I knew it was him. I looked the numbers up on the reverse look up and they would be registered to various states all over the U.S.  I called the phone company very evidently upset, and they had no solutions to the problem other than to change my number again (and this time they offered to do it at no charge). I remember feeling so upset that I had to keep changing things in my life just to avoid him. The harassing started in MO when I lived with my parents, and then I moved out of state soon after. I was told that in order to try to get any charges placed I would have to file where it all started. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? I did change my number that last time and to my knowledge he still doesn’t have it, neither do a lot of people from my past, but I just don’t want to risk him having the chance to get it. I’ll occasionally get messages from him on FB because he creates new profiles and somehow gets through, but I ignore them.

I read your story, and feel horrible for Morgan. I feel as though I know her just through reading this, and it breaks my heart that she was left feeling so unprotected by the people in her community that are put in place for our protection. It seems that quite often the criminal/suspect has more rights/protection than the victim and that HAS to change.

I’m not sure if sharing my story about the “app” will help you, but I do hope you can catch this creep!

And another that wrote in last October:

Hi there 🙂  Your story and situation has touched me big time. I was stalked once by an ex boyfriend who I later found out was Schizophrenic. That was the scariest year of my life. The worst part was that no one warned me or told me about his condition (including his own mother). He was on medication for years I guess, and grew accustomed to the person he was while on the meds. When I met him he showed no signs of sickness or being unwell.  After a few months he stopped taking his meds, and broke up with me only to severely stalk me at my residence and my job. Everywhere I went, there he was. After a year of living in fear with no cooperation from authorities or anyone, he  finally slipped up with someone else, and ended up being put away. That was 2 years ago. Since then I have gotten engaged, and now live with my Fiancé in England. Any who, I see a lot of myself in Morgan (except I’m 9 years older) and I have been so moved by you and your family. If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know.

And in response to the handful of people out there on the Internet trying to stir up trouble in order to defend the suspect, she also said:

People who try to dissect things to that extreme are obviously up to no good. Can’t wait for the day that they feel dumb when the truth comes out. <3

And yet another story also sent in October:

I was born and have grown up in the Roaring Fork Valley for the past 23 years. My little brother, went to school with Morgan, and I know so many of the people that knew her.

She touched so many lives in a truly incredible way; I wish I could have known her.

I cannot begin to express my deepest regrets and condolences for what has happened to your beautiful daughter. No one deserves to meet their end at the hand of someone so cruel and empty.

I have followed your blog since late July, but have never quite had the courage to say anything. However, a couple of weeks ago, I was followed home, verbally threatened and have since seen the same man three or four times around my workplace, and bus stop. There is “nothing the police can do”, but to be honest, I don’t know that I ever had faith that they would.

It is sad to know that we can’t turn to the people who are meant to protect us when we need them the most. But as a result, people come out of the shadows to show and give support beyond anything imaginable. This is our world and, unfortunately, we must take it back from the people who are destroying it. You and Morgan have given me the strength, courage and confidence to fight back, and for that I am truly grateful.

I can only imagine a fraction of the terror you and your family have experienced, but please know that if there is ever anything I can do – or contribute to – I am and always will be here for Morgan and for you.  With so much love.

And here is another email sent to us in November:

First I’m very sorry for your loss, next in 1996 a so called friend had started befriending me I was using drugs then, but long story short this so called friend I let in my home he had me pinned, and was going to inject me with an overdose of meth – thank God my roommate walked in just in time.  Turned out this guy was stalking me for someone else and was told to kill me… IT DOES HAPPEN so do not stop looking into your daughters death it sounds fishy to me to, and after living through my own nightmare don’t let anyone tell you that this could not happen, as i know for a fact it can and has.

And again, another email that came in to us in November:

I commented earlier, right after seeing the Dr. Phil show. I was about to leave for work and didn’t have a lot of time. You are so gracious to thank Dr. Phil after being on the show. It was good that you got to share your story, or I would have never known. But, honestly, that is all the thanks Dr. Phil deserves. He tried to make you look like a bad person. He implied your daughter used alcohol and drugs. If she did, would that justify what happened to her? Of all the people supporting your blog, he found and AIRED one critic. He barely asked the other people any questions that would explain their relationship to your family.

I am a 41 years old teacher. I was stalked and my entire family was terrorized when I was 23 years old. It went on for a year, until one female judge finally got the case in her court and put my stalker away for a year. For one year of punishment, I have a lifetime of emotional damage. You and your family need justice AND psychological healing. Dr. Phil did not appear to offer you either one. Your airing is and was the last time I watched his show.

For today’s blog I decided to just post a few of the emails I have received from other stalking victims again (these all came in last September, so I will continue to share stories until I get caught up to today at least)….I feel like this is so important for others to read about the experiences of these victims.  Stalking has to be taken seriously – peoples lives are forever changed, and it it an extremely dangerous crime, as well as the most under reported crime.  Please spread the word – share this blog with everyone you know, and please help whenever you can if there is someone you know that is experiencing stalking.  Thank you so much!

This reader wrote in last September:

Hello, I just read your whole blog with great interest. I was the victim of a stalker for 18 months. I lived alone and had to deal with this by myself. It was just before the stalker law went into effect, so the police, though they tried, were of very limited help.

Your description of how it affects your life was very accurate, and I found many parallels to my life at the time. After being arrested and put on probation, it did not stop him, so I left town for a year.

I could go on about the ways I understood your posts, but I will pick one that I find very disturbing that you mentioned. I used to shoot pool weekly with a group and was concerned this man might have located me at the bar (turns out it was elsewhere). I talked to the female bartender and asked her to ask women she knew, and if so, point me out to them to talk, in case it was someone from the bar. I was astonished at the number of women who came up to me to tell their story. I found some similar stories and paired up women with the same experiences with their stalker. Very unnerving to know so many had a stalker.

I applaud what you are doing and hope for the best outcome, we need people like you working towards a community effort.

This one came to me last September as well:

11 years ago I was the victim of stalking-first in person (until I received a restraining order) and then via the internet, and my family and friends (this was before various online harassment laws came into effect in my state). I was fortunate that the law enforcement in my town took this very seriously, particularly a female detective at my local police department. I’m also the stepdaughter of a victim’s rights advocate from another state, and she played a big part in teaching/instructing me how to get help (my point is I had resources who KNEW how this would end up and helped me make some smart moves). DESPITE new laws coming into play surrounding online criminal harassment during my ordeal, the person who stalked, harassed, and threatened me, when took to court and sued by my state, only received a $35 fine and a slap on the wrist. The ONLY thing that saved me was he had moved on to his next victim by that point (a woman he married, fathered a child with, and did the same thing to). So while I was supported by local law enforcement, the actual laws were ineffective in stopping this pathologic stalker, unfortunately. It’s my belief he will just continue to repeat his behaviors with his next victim and his next and his next. During my trial, I learned via the CORI laws, that this person had stalked and harassed his prior partner as well. He was a known repeat offender and there was no law in place that looked at his entire history and the likelihood that he would repeat his crimes. The laws in place in my state at that time were a joke. In fact, it’s my belief after many years, that the laws almost inspired him to continue his behaviors. I read your story with a heavy, heavy heart, thinking that could have been me, thanking God it wasn’t, and praying for you and your family as you mourn the loss of your beautiful and amazing daughter. God bless you. xoxoxo

 And another from last September:

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story with the world. I know first hand just how terrifying stalking can be. My mothers ex-husband stalked her after they separated and it was the worst months of my life when that went on. Because of him being her current husband (divorce hadn’t been filed) they never pressed stalking charges against him. He only got a slap on the wrist, and a few short prison stays for violating a protection order. I am so glad to see someone being so outspoken about stalking and the effects it has and how deadly it can turn. Luckily we eventually moved and haven’t had a problem since, but it breaks my heart others are not as lucky. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that one day you get justice for Morgan. Thank you again for sharing your story with the world. It is an amazingly brave thing to do and a great display of the love you have for your daughter.

And again, another from last September:

Your story touches me and I am so sorry for your loss:

Dear Morgan, I was stalked in 1986 in North Carolina. I was 19 years old and a college student. I had enrolled in summer school and was working on a campus that was under populated during the summer. I was moving from a dorm to summer housing nearby that was much more affordable. I had just carried my TV down three flights of stairs and had to carry it a long distance to my new place. A fellow student, who I did not know but had seen before, asked if I needed a hand with it. I was thankful for the help. He was friendly and introduced himself. He carried the TV to my new place. I thanked him and that was that, I thought, nothing out of the ordinary. After that we’d say hi to each other in passing. Soon, I began running in to him more and more frequently. Then, I started seeing him in unexpected places. I’d go to the bank, and he’d show up. I’d go to the grocery store, and he’d soon follow. I began dating someone and he would show up at EVERY single date location. He never spoke to me other than to say hi. On occasion I’d hear him say derogatory things under his breath. My friends and the guy I was dating knew that he intimidated me. I stopped sleeping alone. I either stayed at a friend’s place or they stayed at my place. One night, he showed up at party that I was at. I largely avoided him and left after finishing my drink. On the way home I felt so dizzy and weak that I had to sit on the sidewalk with my head between my knees for about 20 minutes before I could get up and walk the rest of the way home. I didn’t suspect that something had slipped something into my drink until much later. The stalking continued. The guy I was dating had just had surgery and I had visited him in the hospital. Then I joined my friends at a local hangout off campus. I hadn’t seen my stalker all day and was in good spirits. I chatted with a guy that I had dated a year prior, when the stalker came up behind me and whispered something extremely derogatory in my ear. It rattled me, and I convinced my friends to go. I wish that I had made different decisions that night. For whatever reason, I decided to sleep in my apartment that night. I had an apartment mate whose boyfriend was a campus cop. I was kind of fed up with the BS, and tired of it. I had to get up really early for work the next morning and didn’t want to inconvenience my friends.

You know how you can tell sometimes when you are sleeping that someone is in the room with you? Well, I was in a deep sleep and started getting that feeling that I was not alone. Next thing I knew, someone was touching me and I was like where am I? I’m supposed to be alone, right? I sat right up and met the eyes of my stalker, crouched beside my bed, mere inches from my face. I started freaking out, and grabbed for the tweezers, the only thing handy. It was 3:36 am per my alarm clock. I managed to stab him in the cheek before he ran out the front door. As an aside, he broke into the back door that led directly into my room, but had the presence of mind to unlock the front door once he was inside, just in case he had to make a hasty exit from either direction. I remember every single detail to this day and still see it in my dreams sometimes. He wore a navy blue t-shirt and navy blue adidas shorts with the white strips down the sides. I walked over to my apartment mates room and knocked on the door. She and her boyfriend had both slept through it. I told them that someone had been in my room. Her boyfriend went to go get the campus police since we did not have a phone. While he was gone I told her that I knew who it was, and told her. She was like, Oh, my God! She had known I was scared of him also. She asked, are you going to tell? I said, I don’t know. When the cop showed up, I told him the name of the person who had broken into my apartment and assaulted me. I was up the rest of the night, sitting up in bed with the trusty tweezers until sunrise. Then, I went to work, told my boss that I had to go see the dean of students as soon as his office opened that morning. My boss asked if everything was okay, but didn’t press for details when I didn’t offer any. I showed up at the dean’s office the minute it opened, and told him about the stalking, the break in and assault and the name of the attacker. He told me that he thought that the incident should be handled internally (read no need to bring poor publicity to the school by involving LE) and that he would talk to the other student involved. He told me that he was sure that the other student would no longer bother me after he was spoken to. I thought, are you kidding me?  But I politely said, no, it’s not necessary to talk to him, I’ll just be more careful, and never be alone again, and left. You see, not only was my stalker a fellow student, he was a star player on the college football team. A 300 lb. bruiser. When I got back to work, I asked my boss to use the phone to call my parents in New York. I called and told them what had happened. I told them what the dean said. I don’t remember much else about the call. I borrowed some cloth tablecloths from the cafeteria to completely cover the windows to my room, so that no one could see in. Later that day, a friend came by to help put up the table cloths and my stalker walked by, looked at us and waved. The next morning, I was at work, when my father walked through the door. I’d never been more relieved to see anyone before in life. He said that he was taking me to the city’s police department to file a report. He got directions from my boss. We went to the police department and filed a report. They told me a detective would be assigned to investigate and would be contacting me. The following day I was contacted by a detective who made an appointment to come by and talk to me. My dad had made arrangements for me to move back into a dorm because he felt it was safer, and knew I could not stay in that apartment any longer. He helped me move and then returned to New York. A friend stayed with me while I spoke to the investigator. A few days went by with my attacker still roaming free on campus. The investigator called and told me that there had been a break in of another apartment a short time prior to mine, a house filled with newly arrived Japanese exchange students. They had filed a report, but did not know who the intruder was. But the circumstances were similar, so he had met with them, and they had been able to identify him as being the same person as my stalker from the yearbook. He said that they would be arresting him, but would not tell me when. A few days went by, and the stalker had the audacity to speak to me in the dining hall. He came up to me, put a hand on my arm, and said my name, asked how I was doing, said that I looked stressed out. WTF!!! Before long, a whole slew of police officers showed up where I worked and arrested his ass right in front of my face, cuffed the football star in front of just about every student still on campus that summer. Because I worked there, everyone was asking me if I knew what it was about. The next day he was out on bail and back on campus. He was asking people if they knew who I was, because he had no idea and had never met me before. He packed up and moved back to his mom’s place out of state. I finally felt safe. There was gossip and talk but it died down. Then school started up again and everyone returned to campus, including the rest of the football team. Rumors were rampant – I had slept with the entire football team-He and I had been seeing each other, I liked rough sex and things got out of hand, etc., etc. A few people told me that he had done the same thing to them, or knew people who had since graduated, but would testify if need be. None of them had come forward because they were scared. My stalker’s best friend, fellow athlete, huge dude also, took a job as a campus security guard, IN MY DORM. He had a freakin’ skeleton key to my room!!!! There was a security chain for while I was sleeping or in the room, but he literally had free access to my room when I wasn’t there. I found no evidence that he was ever in there, but I was terrified. Fast forward to homecoming weekend. Big football game. A lot of former players now graduated were back for the game. I heard my stalker was in town, but he’d been banned from campus, and I did not see him. The rumor mill was swirling again. I stayed pretty much in my room all weekend. I had asked my boss for those days off so that I wouldn’t have to see all of those people. At 3:00 am following the big game a huge rock came crashing through the window of my dorm room. A report was taken. The window was not fixed until sometime the following week. Fast forward about six months. I get a call from the DA. The stalker, originally charged with breaking and entering, aggravated sexual assault and attempted rape, had plea bargained down to a simple assault. He would be formally sentenced the following week. He would not serve any time. He would be on probation. He was banned from campus. Following his court appearance he showed up at my place of employment, on the campus that he’d just been banned from. I only saw him once again off campus just before graduating. It was at the bank. Years later I heard from a friend that she saw him working as a garbage collector in the same city. Nice job for a stalker, huh? I live far, far away now. I’m 46 years old, and I can’t tell you how much that experience shaped the course of my life, in some good ways, and also bad ways. I am a mother now, and have a beautiful daughter who I worry about every day. She’s 10 years old and she now knows my story. I felt the need to tell her before school started this year and she wanted to walk home from school by herself. I didn’t want her to and she told me that I worry too much.

Sorry to be so long winded. I’m so very sorry that this happened to you and that nothing has changed all that much in the past 27 years.