In December I received the following from other stalking victims:
First and foremost I am very very sorry for your loss. I just finished watching your episode on Dr. Phil and I was very moved by your story. Your daughter was so young and beautiful and I have no words to express how sorry I am for your loss.
I believe you and your husband with all my heart, I feel the police did not do their jobs correctly and I pray that you get the proper investigation that you deserve.
I was stalked by and ex boyfriend. I was with him for 5 years and he made my life a living hell. I was afraid to leave because he was both physically and mentally abusive towards me and threatened if I left he would kill me or permanently disfigured me so I can no longer model, as I am a full time model. Plus he happened to be a detective for the police department and he would use that to his advantage to torment me. When I did finally get the courage to leave it all became hell. I called the police numerous times and it was almost as if they were protecting him. The internal affairs investigation was BS and they said they couldn’t proceed with it until the criminal investigation in court was concluded. I have a temporary order of protection against him and that’s been ongoing for 3 years. We are still going to court, and he and his lawyer must have adjourned it 30 times! Now he’s retired and internal affairs says they can no longer investigate him, because he’s no longer employed by the police department! So I definitely feel an injustice too.
I’m sorry to ramble on and there is a lot more, but I don’t want to take up anymore of your time. My purpose of this letter was to let you know that the police can be very sneaky in protecting themselves and being lazy. Especially when they know they’re in the wrong they will go above and beyond to cover up what they did. HOWEVER if it was their daughter they would feel differently. I have a lot of empathy for people, and I’m truly sorry again for your loss, when I put myself in your shoes and have no idea what I would do.
Your husband and you handle yourself very intelligently, and were very composed, I give you a tremendous amount of credit.
If there is anything I could do to help you or get the word out please let me know, I have a big following on the Internet.
Have a wonderful blessed day.
And another from December:
There is so much I want to say after finding this blog. I was stalked for a little over 18 years. That experience changed my life and changed who I am. Prior to that I would have never supported owning a gun, or ever thought I could aim, and shoot. I know I could kill now if I had to. I also had to deal with the Sheriff’s dept of the county of San Diego, and they would not even come out when I called for help. My torment ended after my stalker shot at his father, and a neighbor across the street. My stalker lived next door, and even though I had him arrested once, I could not get any help. (Short version of my story)
And here are more stories from January:
Thanks for this blog being up. I’m so sorry that this happened to everyone in your family. I really appreciate how dedicated you are to preventing things like this from happening again, and your transparency about what happened. Your honesty comes through and inspires me to feel like I can still find ways to try to get through this even though I feel like I’m working by myself on it.
I’ve been stalked for 6 years now by my ex and I wish that my parents and family would be half as supportive as you guys are. I totally understand how frustrating working with the police is, they’ve seriously tried to discourage me from even thinking there’s anything that’s happening, or that I can do anything about it.
I’ve found that having a lawyer is about 3,000 times more efficient than the police. Hopefully I can eventually put an end to this. I haven’t slept feeling safe in years. I also want to thank you for all the wonderful tips for survival. I’ll take all of them I can get.
Good luck with your case, if there’s anything I can do I will.
In solidarity
Then in February:
Mrs. Ingram,
I have been glued to my screen the last few days, every chance I get to read Morgan’s story from beginning to current, and it’s broken my heart a little more every page at a time. I am so, so very sorry for what has happened to your family, the terror you have lived through, and the unimaginable loss of your daughter. I wish there was more comfort to be given than “I’m so sorry” but I know that as someone who has not lost a child, I cannot fully comprehend this. On your September 30th blog, you mentioned you wanted stories from victims… and I have a small story.
A few years ago when I worked in a public library, a young man who came in relatively regularly (and always been very polite) started to chat with me at the desk, and quickly went from “how about that nice weather” to “What do you want to do with your life?” I firmly, but very kindly shut him down, saying to him, “It’s against work policy for me to discuss my personal life.” Well, he left very angry and I did not see him again for perhaps a year. Then… he came back. Reintroduced himself… and began to leave notes for me at the desk. He came in when there was less security in the building, he always sat at a computer where he could see me at my work desk, and just… watched. I notified my boss about it, and she made an incident report. Then, a month later he tried to give me jewelry, which I firmly declined, telling him that I cannot accept gifts. ” Again, he became terribly angry and stormed away, and I made another incident report with my boss. Some time later he came up to the desk while I was away and tried to get the girl there to give out where I was working behind the desk hat day, and then tried to get my number to call me, and then angry, stormed away only to return 20 minutes later with a note addressed to me, along with his number begging me to call him. I photocopied the note, attached it to an email to my boss and filled out another incident report. By then, all of our security guards were aware of this, and both police officers that worked part-time there were aware of his description.
At any urban library there’s a few crazies and a few inappropriate people, but you must always follow your instincts. What made me so afraid of this man wasn’t that he would get angry, or that he would storm away from my desk or even that he tried to give me things… what scared me was how smart he was. I saw the books he read, and he was well-read. I had spoken enough with him to recognize a wide vocabulary, an articulate and precise way with words and a keen sense of humor… and that someone that intelligent, and relatively socially graceful as he was (other librarians would remark that he seemed so nice, and so much fun to help look for books with), he could not understand, or refused to understand that how he was behaving towards me was even slightly inappropriate or menacing. Whenever he was in at the end of the day, and left with the other patrons when we closed, and I closed that day, one of our security personnel or other staff members would drive me to my car so that he would not see me exit the building, or get a sense of where I lived. I changed up my parking, I occasionally got rides from coworkers so my car wasn’t there, and I changed my routes to my car frequently so that it would be harder to figure out which car was mine.
Eventually, I saw him less and less in the building and I was finally grateful when I took a job in a law firm instead.
Interestingly, he never made an attempt (to my knowledge) to approach me outside of my job, and I am grateful that it never escalated beyond that. Now, this was less than a year ago since I’ve last seen him, but my former boss has kept my incident reports on file, we have him on security footage, and since my law firm is in the same area as the library I am still,t o this day wary about walking down there. I keep hoping and praying that that was all it ever will be, but I haven’t completely let down my guard…
And again here is another story:
I commented earlier, right after seeing the show. I was about to leave for work and didn’t have a lot of time. You are so gracious to thank Dr. Phil after being on the show. It was good that you got to share your story, or I would have never known. But, honestly, that is all the thanks Dr. Phil deserves. He tried to make you look like a bad person. He implied your daughter used alcohol and drugs. If she did, would that justify what happened to her? Of all the people supporting your blog, he found and AIRED one critic. He barely asked the other people any questions that would explain their relationship to your family.
I am a 41 years old teacher. I was stalked and my entire family was terrorized when I was 23 years old. It went on for a year, until one female judge finally got the case in her court and put my stalker away for a year. For one year of punishment, I have a lifetime of emotional damage. You and your family need justice AND psychological healing. Dr. Phil did not appear to offer you either one. Your airing is and was the last time I watched his show.
And then here is a similar thing that happened to me when I was 11 years old, walking home from school (my mother did not believe me either, and never called the police to report the incident) – here is the story that another reader emailed to me:
Long ago, I was stalked. When I was 14 years old walking home from the 7 eleven a car was following me. He stayed behind me and slowly stayed far enough back to where I didn’t notice him until I turned a corner into my neighborhood, then I noticed him. I had an angel or guide that led me to safety. At the last possible minute I crossed the street before mine, and he started to speed up to catch me, and I took off running, weaving in and out of houses, and then I laid low behind a big thick hedge. I heard his car going up and down the street, when I heard him on the 3rd time at the end of the street away from me, I ran into my house, locked the doors, and peaked out of the window. He went up and down at least 10 times trying to locate which house. I do believe he would have kidnapped me and killed me for it was a small neighborhood where I knew every car and his car I have never seen. Melbourne, Florida was where I lived at the time. I never got a good look at him, only his car, and silhouette. I told my mother when she got home from work (I was a latch key), but she didn’t believe me so the police were never called. I lived in fear for a year, afraid to go to the bus stop, or anywhere for that matter. I can relate a little bit, however I wasn’t stalked on a daily bases this was only one incident, so I know the fear I felt, and I cannot imagine what 4 months would have been like.
Then this stalking victim said:
He followed me in the car as I walked, staying back far enough to where I didn’t hear the car, but I was able to see his silhouette and car. There were two people that were in the news that could match him. A serial killer named Gerald Stano, and Ted Bundy. I do believe it was Gerald Stano for he was into the type of car that this perp drove, and he was also known to drive down to Brevard County. Once I was aware he was following me I did not run right away, I knew I had to get into a position first. This is what saved my life! If I ran the second I knew he was following me, he would have caught up to me. I crossed the street and stepped on to the sidewalk before my street, letting him think I lived down that street, and I did not walk fast, or show body language, that would have let him know that I knew he was following me. When I crossed the street, I was able to turn my head to get a look at the car and saw his silhouette. Once I got close enough to a house 3rd house down the street is when I took off running for my life!
I just have to send this to someone since nobody believes me to this day! No even my mother.
The car I saw was GREEN, it had one of those scoops on the front hood, the guy had dark hair, a little curly and short, not fat and not thin either.
I read this only last year, and this is when I figured out who stalked me.
This is an except from a book. The writer Kimberly interviewed Stano when he was in prison. One of his statements is in italic. Notice he stated “Then I would go out riding around and I would find a girl walking”
Here he describes his car. When I figured it out, I literally freaked out, and to this day I have survivors guilt. If my mom had believed me, and I was able to give a description of his car, maybe I could have saved lives! This was 1974/75 time frame. It also was reported and suspected that a few deaths around my area are connected to Stano, but Stano would not confess to them. One was a guy that lived off of US 1 just 4 miles south of where I lived.
The street I was walking down on the right side on sidewalk of Albeto: My street was Fairfax top left, I crossed the street at Galleon Ave. I noticed him soon as I turned on to the main straight away. Jackson street. The 3rd house in on the right I hid in the thick bush. My house on Fairfax Ave. was directly behind the 3rd house, I hid in the bush.
PS: This is a dump of a neighborhood now, back then it was a brand new subdivision.