Today is December 3rd – magic does happen

Beach 2 12.2.15Today, December 3rd is the  the day after the 4th anniversary of our daughter’s murder.  Yesterday was an extremely hard day for our family.  We wanted to celebrate Morgan’s wondrous life and not her tragic murder.  I was beside myself because I just did not know what to do.  My physical and emotional body wanted to crawl in a hole and morn, but my spiritual body wanted to do something that Morgan would have wanted us to do.

Because we have been blessed with such an amazing and supportive family an idea was born and we fulfilled that idea…we went to the beach at sundown, wrote in the sand, lit candles and thought about Morgan.  Then the magic began…during the beautiful one-of-a-kind sunset, a seal swam up to us, birds flocked over the water, sail boats stopped just under the setting sun, the Goodyear blimp flew by, the candles all stayed lit and as I sat in wonder chills ran up my spine.  I know those chills were a sign from Morgan that she was right there with us and she was seeing the same things we were being shown.  She was happy – this sent a warm happy feeling throughout my body. Beach 12.2.15

There are no words to explain how grateful I am to everyone across the world that burned candles in memory of Morgan last night.  I know she felt the love, as did Steve & I.  Thank you all so very much.  The fight for justice continues on today and will not stop until it is realized.  Changes will be made – because of the power of the people.  Love always creates change.

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Amitriptyline is a Sexual Assault Drug…please raise awareness of this FACT!

Just wanted to share an email I received back in September 2012 – this email helped me realize that changes were already being made in so many different ways – ways that I didn’t even comprehend at the time.

The fact is that the prescription drug amitriptyline is on the sexual assault panel in labs that test across the country and is used, and has been used over the years for date rapes – people need to understand the reality of this fact.  This is the drug that was used to kill our daughter Morgan…in an amount that would have killed her 10 times over.  This drug comes in a liquid form and is readily available for horses and other animals.  It can be purchased online, as well as from a veterinarian.  For equine use it is available in an amount for a large animal ~1,200 lbs, so you can just imagine how our 115 lb daughter could have been killed with such an enormous amount. And this drug was kept at the commercial ranch behind our house and was not locked up – not even at night.

The veterinarian that wrote the following lived in the Roaring Fork Valley, just like we did at the time of Morgan’s murder.  She read the blog and shared with me what she learned from the blog – she did not know that amitriptyline is a date rape drug.  I was so happy when I read her email – who knows, this one action could have saved another young woman.

She said, “I am so sorry for your loss. I am the mother of three and have two daughters, 17 and 20, and I can’t even begin to imagine your pain. I live in the valley and became interested when I read the news paper article. The story didn’t set right with me, so I read the blog. I am a veterinarian and use medications on animals on a daily bases that are potentially lethal and can be used on the street. I keep those locked up and under a watchful eye. I was shocked to find out amitriptyline  was a date rape drug. I thought I knew all the drugs with potential street abuse. Usually those drugs quickly become schedule II or III drugs. Amitriptyline is used in pets for anything from separation anxiety, allergies, and cystitis in cats. I feel the veterinary profession needs to become more aware of the potential abuse of unscheduled medications. The next time someone comes in and says their dog has separation anxiety I am going to have to think long and hard before I grab the prescription vial. My prayers are with you and I hope with this publicity more doors open for you and you are able to show the absolute truth to the world.”

Below is a copy of the list of drugs on the Sexual Assault Panel at the lab that ran Morgan’s toxicology tests…all the drugs that are highlighted were in Morgan’s body, all are date rape drugs, and no she had never taken them, nor did she have any of those drugs in her home, except years before she had taken a low dose prescription of amitriptyline that had been expired for over a year and a half.  And the fact is the small amount of pills that were no longer in that bottle were all accounted for from past use, and were not even in an amount that could have killed her.  This is evidenced by her 2nd toxicology report, and yet that is what the pathologist erroneously used to claim suicide.  But like I mentioned above the amount of amitriptyline in her first toxicology result was massive and most likely for equine use.  Another interesting fact that most people do not know is that the drug Dalmane (Flurazepam) has become obsolete and is not available in the US and is not currently used in humans.  However all others listed are contemporary and available for equine use and readily available in a liquid form.

With all this physical evidence alone you would think that law enforcement would be all over each other to open her case, but that never happened…I wonder why?pdf.sexual assaultAG.4.2.sexual assault

Just ran across this article and wanted to share it.  Peter Tobin used Amitriptyline to subdue and rape these young girls and then murder them…he also took and kept jewelry.  https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2009/dec/14/murderer-peter-tobin-denies-killing

Peter Tobin received 14 years imprisonment for the sex attacks in which he used the same drug, amitriptyline, as he was to later use on two other victims, Vicky and Dinah.

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/did-sex-beast-peter-tobin-murder-20-more-women-6731346.html

“The jury of three women and nine men would hear evidence that traces of amitriptyline, a sedative drug, which Tobin was being prescribed at the time of the murder, had been found in her body, William Clegg QC, prosecuting, said. Vicky Hamilton had also been drugged with amitriptyline.”

Amitriptyline can, and is used by criminals as a sexual assault drug, Morgan had over 10 times the amount that would have killed her in her bloodstream, impossible to ingest because she would have been dead before it reached those numbers, so she was injected, we see an injection mark on the inside of her arm in the crime scene photos, the pathologist calls it something else, and gives no plausible explanation for the massive level in her blood – although other medical examiners and toxicologists state the amitriptyline in her blood killed her.  The sheriffs state they found no containers or syringes at our house that could have done this…did they even consider that her murdered obviously took the syringe/murder weapon away with him?

 

4 Years Ago This Wednesday…Our Daughter Was Murdered

Morgan with FlowersThis Wednesday December 2, 2015 it will have been 4 years since our daughter was taken from us by a coward. A gutless coward, one that had to attack a defenseless young woman in her sleep.  Too cowardly to do their evil acts in broad daylight.  I wonder if they see their own ugliness when they look into the mirror?

Morgan still has not yet received justice, in fact her murder is not even a case yet.  And when I say “yet” I mean yet, because there is more than enough evidence that shows she was murdered, so the only question I now have now is, “When will her case become a case?”

This past 4 years has taught me that no matter how painful it is to wait…I will wait.  I will wait as long as it takes for the truth to come out and for Morgan to finally receive justice, because it is the right thing.  Morgan deserves justice, our family deserves resolution, Morgan’s friends deserve to hear that she received justice, and other victims, like Morgan, deserve to feel that justice is truly possible.  This is a big task, but I know there is a person out there, a person in law enforcement that is brave enough, smart enough, and caring enough to make this a reality.  My heart knows it will happen.  I still believe in the strength of goodness winning against evil.

Please join us on Wednesday in loving remembrance of Morgan, along with positive thoughts and prayers that an investigation will soon be opened, and justice will be received.  Thank you all so very much for all your support these past 4 years.

 

Inadvertent Accomplices to the Intimidators…

Morgan own photoMorgan is watching and listening – of that you can be sure.  She knows who is doing what.  She is a very loving soul, but she ALWAYS stood up for what was right when she saw injustice in this world, and I am pretty sure she is disappointed with some people she believed were “good” people, as they have been too frightened to come forward with the truth about her stalking and murder.
Up until now no matter how many experts tried to help us the powers that be in Garfield County, CO made sure our daughter’s case could never be a case.  They made sure of that with their first intentional determination of natural causes, and then 8 months later changing her to a suicide…both these manners of death were able to derail any investigation into Morgan’s murder.  Neither of them were correct, and with the evidence we know exists they would have had to know it the very morning of her murder.
And when other people came in to look at Morgan’s case the Garfield County sheriffs officially closed down her stalking case, 5 months after her murder, claiming all of a sudden that there was never a suspect ,despite naming him exclusively over and over in their own reports.  It has almost been four long years now, but regardless of the years, as co-victims, so many people and organizations gave us hope and that hope kept us moving forward in our fight for justice.
There has continually been a concerted effort by “others”, we believe to be family and friends of the prime suspect(s) to spread lies about our daughter’s case in order to “muddy the waters,” and harass anyone volunteering to help so no one will want to get involved, and yet thousands of people have gotten involved and have encouraged us to keep fighting.
My husband and I were attacked after we started to push forward with getting an investigation into our daughters suspicious death open.  The attacks were not only over the Internet as well as threatening phone calls, but became physical damage as well.  Morgan’s puppy was poisoned, items were stolen, and finally in the middle of the night our alarms would go off when someone tried breaking in.  So 2 years after our daughter’s murder we had to flee Colorado and enter the Victims Address Confidentiality Program in another state in order to stay safe.  My heart is still in Colorado.  I want to return someday, but I know until change is made our family will not be able to return.
At that time we could not go to the Garfield County sheriffs as not only did they fail to protect our daughter, but they also covered up her murder.  We were being told by people that we held in high esteem that we were no longer safe in Colorado. Not only from the perpetrator and his family, but we were not safe from the sheriffs themselves – this was a very scary thing to believe.  We never knew until this happened to us about all the wonderful agencies that are available in our country i.e. AEQUITAS, and AISOCC, plus others we have reached out to, can only come in to help through local law enforcement, and in our daughter’s case Sheriff Lou Vallario was not about to let any agency in – not even the CBI.  So please do not think for one moment in time that local law enforcement just doesn’t have the resources to do a proper investigation – they do…there are so many organizations out there that will assist law enforcement for free and these organizations have some of the best investigators, forensic pathologists and scientists as well as equipment.  It is all available to law enforcement – FREE!  But they are only allowed to come in if law enforcement asks them to…they can not come in to assist at anyone else’s request.
AEQUITAS puts into words things I have not been able to fully articulate to others.  Things like:
  • Typically the perpetrator harasses and attacks the victims and victim’s family.
  • Often the offender’s family members and friends attack (they say don’t snitch to others, snitches get stitches, snitches will be publicly beat up in the streets to set an example).  I believe they want to scare people into allowing evil to exist
  • When members of the criminal justice system do not respond appropriately to intimidation and fail to correct systemic deficiencies that enable opportunities to intimidate they become inadvertent accomplices to the intimidators.
  • The victim, victim’s or witness’ immediate family, including spouses, children and pets become targets.
One day our daughter Morgan will get justice, and her stalker/murderer will be arrested, as will all those who choose to cover up her stalking and murder, of that I am sure, and in the meantime having people that understand what we have been up against has been invaluable.  Thank you all so much – Steve & I are very grateful for all your support!

Playing A Game With Morgan…

IMG_2127This is a screen shot of the last game Morgan was playing with her dad Steve before she died.  Morgan sent her “move” to Steve’s phone just over a week before she was killed  Morgan was completely engaged in her life up until the night she was murdered, unlike what the sheriff & coroner’s office would like people to believe.  They have tried to minimize the fact that she had a predator(s) after her.  They try to deflect and cover up her murder.  Luckily for us we have many, many pictures, videos, text messages, voice messages, witness testimonies, etc. that prove she was completely engaged & busy living her life up until the night she was murdered.

It didn’t matter where Morgan was at the time, but she would usually take a moment to send a “move” to Steve or myself on Words With Friends…she was always playing separate games with both of us.  It seems crazy now to think about it, but in the midst of fighting for our very existence, our own human nature causes us all to try to continue the simple pleasures of what had been our normal lives. I wonder if this was just our minds trying to pretend everything was just fine…or is it part of our survival mode?

Morgan taught us many things, one of which was to appreciate every single day of our life.  When you think about the ones you love, right then and there take a moment to reach out to them, whether it is a phone call, a kiss, a hug, or a simple game between phones…it is always a reminder to them that you are thinking about them and they mean so much to you.  That’s all it takes…the simple things in life that mean so much, especially when they are suddenly gone someday.

“One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living.  We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.”  – Dale Carnegie

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