Losing sight of the Journey, but finding it again – #love will win!

morganandrainerIt’s a holiday weekend, and as Steve and I press on, one thing that has been very tough for us, has now reached more clarity today.  I am reminded how easily I have lost sight of the journey as we press single mindedly towards the destination.

On the morning Morgan died, we were in absolute shock, and after a brief investigation it was declared, by the lead stalking Detective as officially, “a mystery, ”  that is really how day one of her investigation ended.   As an unknown event, which would require time and information to eventually reveal the truth to us.

The journey has taken us through many twists, and turns.  An amazing beyond description aspect has been how so many have literally come right out of nowhere to supply one piece of information about what happened,  that also happens to be right within their area of considerable expertise.  And how all those little pieces of information have added up to real knowledge about what happened to Morgan, and it has been both mind numbing, and strangely comforting.

It is such a relief to Steve and I to have a sense of what really happened that night, and not be forced to just guess, or accept explanations, that made absolutely no sense at all – So again, to all of you who have donated your time, wisdom, and knowledge, Steve and I thank you for all for your help to aid Morgan, and to help us in a time of untold grief.

The journey we see now still has many twists and turns left to it, but at least we can have great confidence in where we will be coming from.  Be it a criminal court or a civil court, evidence will come, with requirements, and those who give evidence will be of a certain stature, and be speaking from years of experience.  All relaying the truth they have found in the events of that night.

Morgan never really had much of a chance that night.  She succumbed to overwhelming odds.  In the window of time in which she died, shadows are moving on our video, and Sheriff’s patrolled by twice.  It was a bad scene from a bad movie.  The evidence in her room is quite large, but as the Honorable District Attorney has already pointed out, “the Sheriff’s department so thoroughly botched the crime scene that…

Morgan is in a better place now, and that we believe, we feel her presence is priceless to us.  That we have put together a plan that does not rely on a thoroughly botched crime scene portends for closure in the future.

We care for her pets who know that their mommy is gone, they have been through the grieving process too, but are adjusting to a life with us.  They are constant reminders of all the love that Morgan had for this world, and to have them share that with us is something very special.

We wish Morgan was here with us, and it hurts so much that she was taken from the world, her sister, her brother, niece, nephew, her dog Wylah and her cat Mogwai, her horse TC, her soul mate, and all her friends.  The journey begs us to find an answer in all this, to remember all of the happiness there is in all the memories of Morgan, and her life with us.  We work for that moment when we can feel that we did all we could to honor her memory, to shed a bright light where now there are still many lingering shadows, and to truly carry her happiness, and never-ending smile beaming from our hearts.

We have not reached that point yet, but we are getting closer, and to know that we are getting closer, is to believe that we can help to make the world a better place, a safer place, and a place where vicious crimes such as those perpetrated on Morgan can be stopped – before it is too late.

And once again thank you all for the many blessings you have all shared with Steve and I on this journey that we must travel to its end in the name of Morgan, and all of those she is so happy to see us helping.  This is a road that is extremely hard to travel, but travel it we must.  We very much appreciate all the help we have received, and continue to receive along the way.

Exonerate? Does the map of the march around our house implicate?

Footprint trails caught by a sudden snowstorm

Footprint trails caught by a sudden snowstorm

On November 1st, 2011 the March around three sides or our house took place at 11:51 pm.  Not only did the trail, left in the sudden snowstorm, completely avoid the side of the house where Morgan’s windows were it was also silent.  No banging on windows at all.  But it was caught on the video surveillance system, and as for the silence – that would change very soon.

Our neighbor Elliott filled me in on the fact Keenan was gone hunting with his grandfather.  The original blog about this march around the house can be found back in the blog at – November 2, 2011 – Day 93 of Morgan’s stalking – the mysterious march, what does it mean?

It was a hectic time, and the video of the march was not reviewed for a few days, but the footprints were reported to the Garfield Sheriffs department the day they were found.  Steve came home, drew a crude map of just where the trails of footprints seemed to start and stop for the Sheriff’s Deputy while they both walked around and followed the footprint together, and gave a copy to the deputy.

Now as I go through the Sheriff’s reports, doing my best to reconcile the reports with all of the hard evidence we have, filling in the gaps as I go, the very first thing that comes to light about this stalking incident is… there is no report!  None at all that I have been able to find.  And the map Steve drew, and gave the Deputy, that I have not found in the “complete set of Morgan’s Stalking” reports either.  Not the first time by any means, but this was an important one.  At least we still have the video.

Detective Glassmire and Detective Alstatt were at the house four days later on the 6th of November, but the footprints were melted, and gone long before.  Steve drew another map for them and that one did find its way into the official reports, in fact here it is just so you can see my frustration that the original seems to be lost, and it was evidence in a felony stalking case.

So as you look at the map there are three things I would like to point out.  First – notice how one trail of footprints starts at James Harris’ house (where Brooke lived) and stops before the Sheriff’s camera’s location.  When Steve first saw the footprints he thought they looked like someone had walked to a point and then backed up in the same prints all the way to Jim’s house.  He pointed this out the Deputy, as they both walked alongside those prints.

Second – notice were the prints go from the Sheriff’s camera straight to the corner of the house, and then straight back over the berm.  Most of the “V” made by that foot trail to the corner of the house is not caught by our video.  And right in that corner of the house is the tree we think Keenan used to climb up on the roof.  So now I have to wonder aloud, was this march intended to show just how they were getting to that tree to climb up on the roof undetected?  And even worse, does it meant that he had already been in the house to see what the cameras covered, and did so he could establish this route to safely get in order to get to the corner of the house?

Third – the spot marked as start was right by a set of car prints in the street, same place where a loop of footprints ended up.

Also, this was the time that the batteries were dead in the Sheriff’s camera so there were no images captured by that camera.  This was so extremely frustrating for me because I saw that the footprint were right in front of that camera and there batteries were dead!  What was up with that?  A timeline of when which footprints were made would have been very helpful in theories of what was the true intent of all this.

For the next couple of days Morgan had a different pattern of rocks on her windows.  Just as frightening to Morgan, and all of the incidents were reported, but other than my updated timeline emailed to Detective Glassmire detailing the incidents there was no other mention in official reports.  Where are those reports?

Seeing the roof of the house from Google Earth

Seeing the roof of the house from Google Earth

In another image it easy to see how the roof was used in the commission of the stalking.  Point C, is where the tree that was used to get on the roof was.  Point A, is a spot on the roof where a person could lie on the roof and be completely concealed.  Point B is right over Morgan’s bedroom window.  This is right where the rain gutter is torn is half from repeated bending.  Steve walked the entire street inspecting all of the other gutters (all of the houses have them and they all appear to be the same.  In sixteen homes there is not another gutter with a tear in it of any perceptible degree.  Just one spot in sixteen houses and it is exactly centered over Morgan’s bedroom window.  That so many things like this were completely overlooked, disregarded, is completely devastating to Steve and I.

A new app called Stop A Stalker please take a look for yourself

The Stop A Stalker app is Free for the next two days. I am trying it, and encourage you to share the link – and try it yourself.
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I would like to share another #stalking story with you…

I would like to share this story that I just received from another stalking victim that is extremely brave to want to share it with others:

OK – my ex husband we will call him J. we were married in 2006 and divorced in 2007. He was severely abusive then, and when I left him I spent 36 days in a coma, and 14 more days in the hospital. I had part of my skull removed to let my brain swell. I had to do a lot of rehabilitation therapy and I still have a limp when I get tired. While we were married before the abuse started I began to discover lies that he was telling starting off with him being a marine scout sniper having served in Iraq. I discovered that was a lie when he told me he was getting the congressional metal of honor sent to him through the mail. lol. Well I confronted him and he beat me for the first time. I made the excuses, and all of that and continued dealing with his lies and abuse. Well I found out that he was stalking his ex-wife who had my same name. well I kicked him out and he beat me up, my parents found me and he had disappeared. When I woke up in the hospital and was able to reclaim most of my memories I got a divorce and he had several warrants listed for his arrest including impersonating a marine, assault with a deadly weapon, attempted murder and 2 counts of manslaughter, I was 5 months pregnant with twins and lost them and have since had to have a hysterectomy due to the damage he caused. I am 30 and turn 31 in June and have no biological children. He has not been found, but has managed to get my number that I have changed at least 20 times, I moved 45 miles away and am remarried, but he has come to our small town looking for me, luckily no one will tell him where I am. He has since had additional warrants issued for impersonating a police officer, 2 more counts of assault against others, stalking from me and is wanted in order to be questioned in a murder. The cops seem not to be able to find him, but he can find me – I don’t understand that. I have shown them where he and his family live yet they still won’t pick him up and I am not sure why. I just want everyone to realize that no matter what, that first of all if your relationship is built on lies (as mine was from everything from military to his jobs etc. ) then get out as soon as you can and second if there is any harassment do not get a restraining order get a protective order. I went so far as to let the cops hear a recorded conversation between him and I where he threatened to kill me and kill anyone including cops that got in his way. Before I moved I had several of the same signs as Morgan did knocks on my windows being followed, and it escalated to slashed tires and broken windshields to spray painting death threats on my house and car. As I have said I have moved away and he doesn’t know where exactly I live in our small town, and I have since gotten my concealed carry permit, and my husband makes sure anywhere I drive that I have a gun, and when I am anywhere else I have knives. I commend you for putting Morgan’s story out there, and all of the other stalking victims for sharing with us. Honestly if it can help or save even one person then it counts, and I think that we all need to go past the state level and have federal laws. Thank you for putting my story out and you and your family are in my prayers

At least next time use the right laws – #Stalking

imissyou

Morgan, as we all did, tried so hard to carry on with her life throughout her stalking.  She walked her puppy, visited with friends and went to school, that last semester when everything is just about taken care of, and you have to take only a few classes, but then you also take fun classes, pointe ballet, and jazz dance, just for the workout, and release, that was what Morgan did.

We all lived in a bubble where we thought the apprehension of the criminal would ultimately be by the Sheriff’s Department.  And as I look through report after report I see a problem with the approach – it goes like this.

After four months of stalking, Keenan would have been facing these charges:

  1. Third degree criminal trespass – (petty offense)
  2. Harassment (repeated communication at inconvenient hours) – (misdemeanor)
  3. Stalking – (felony)

Keenan already has two priors of criminal trespass, and it did little to stop him, because here he was, right back at it again.

Others – both Garfield officers and Private Investigators have suggested different laws enacted to deal with the crimes that were being committed, using those laws would have given the investigation more teeth, seriousness, and more chances for success, specifically:

  1. Felony Vandalism – being championed by one of the Deputies (felony)
  2. Invasion of privacy for Sexual Gratification – A sex crime which can start as a misdemeanor, and escalate to a felony.
  3. And Felony Stalking (felony)

Laws which allow for early confrontation and quicker arrest, before the crime escalates.  Read through the crime logs from any agency and I guarantee you will not see many arrests, arraignments, and high (serious) bails based on the charge of “third degree criminal trespass.”  It is a joke at best.  If you ever find yourself or anyone you love in a situation such as Morgan’s, ask about the laws, ask your victims rights coordinator about the laws, even research the laws yourself.  If the laws that relate to what is going on are not being employed, demand to know why.  Steve and I did not.  We left it all in the hands of the Sheriffs and that was a big mistake.  They of course did not want to see Morgan die, but they also were not prepared to protect us against the level of threat we were facing.

Once you have a suspect, I suggest you name him as the suspect that he or she is.  It is important for your friends and neighbors to know, who the suspect is and how dangerous is he considered!  Just so you all know I am not carelessly throwing out names, I will print a brief exchange that took place between Sheriffs concerning the suspect Keenan, and his father:

Subject of Narrative: Suspect Interview with lead Felony Stalking Sheriff’s Detective, Keenan VanGinkel

On November 16, 2011, I overheard dispatch notifying the zone one deputies to contact Wade VanGinkel reference his son being a suspect in a case.  The dispatcher advised that Wade wanted to know if there was a case open against his son.  I noted that Keenan, Wade’s son, is a suspect in this case.

I contacted Wade who was at the Sheriff’s office when he made the call to dispatch.  I offered to Wade that I could meet him and Keenan at around 1600 hours that day.  Wade told me that he had heard from his son that Keenan was being accused of stalking a girl.  Furthermore, Wade said that there was somebody on facebook.com threatening him.  Wade also said that he heard that there were some deputies at City Market, El Jebel, looking for Keenan.

This, of course, is the stalking that, James Harris, Brooke Harris’ father did not know was happening on the Dr. Phil episode and “wished we had told him.”  Actually Brooke did not speak up to correct her father about the stalking, the stalking that Brooke had heard there was video evidence that exonerated her boyfriend Keenan.  I’ve come across four instances of Keenan referring to this “video evidence that exonerated,” day when he “heard about an incident” but he was in Texas so it could not have been him.

Also, I have heard that you do not have to go out into the wild web very far to read that there are people stating now that there was never a stalking, either Morgan or me made it all up.  Does this mean if I pretend hard enough that Morgan will not be murdered?  Unfortunately I know all to well that this is not possible.  What practical purpose in the search for truth this pretending there was not a stalking serves is beyond me.  I lived through it, day by day, Morgan did her best to be brave and persevere, right up until she was killed.  Morgan’s stalking and murder was every bit the nightmare I hopefully have portrayed it to be.  And it obviously was very, very real.  Lastly, I have been assured that NOBODY has been cleared of the crimes committed against Morgan and our family.

Meanwhile it seems now that back then everyone knew who the stalker was, James Harris named Keenan as the stalker.  Brooke Harris told Steve and I in person that she “heard there was video evidence that exonerated her boyfriend Keenan.”  Very poignant choice of words “exonerated”, by the way, because it specifically means you were convicted and then later found not to be guilty.  This was in response to the videotaped march of an as of yet unidentified perp around our house.  Unfortunately for the best laid plans of those involved, most everyone who has seen the full video agrees it is a female, and all other images of the stalker are male.  Keenan names Brooke as the potential stalker.  And if you remember our neighbor Elliott, he thought the stalker, at least one of them, was James Harris.

The argument referred to by Keenan’s father Wade, on facebook.com can be found on this post from December 28, 2012 excerpts from Facebook “threats” read what Keenan has to say, and you tell me if he does not give indications of knowledge and guilt, because I think that he does.

So you can see that I name names, but everyone else is also naming names.  Actually everyone else seems to have a person to point fingers at, anyone but themselves.  Horrors for Morgan, and after her death, casts of characters all employing their own form of protection…Internet Cyber Stalking and Trolls.

Crimes were committed, horrific crimes were committed.  Situations such as Morgan and our family faced can quickly get out of hand.  The two weeks surrounding her death contained so many little events.  Taken together they point very strongly to a seriously increased danger for a victim in Morgan’s place.  And they also point strongly to the potential for an act of desperation on the part of the perps.  The lead detective even forecast it.  There has been over a year, and a half on the part of Steve and I, and so many others with far more expertise to piece it all together on a timeline.  It was all too real, and it is the truth, I will defend that fact under oath in any court in the land.

But that is not the real reason I’m writing this today.  It is for all of the victims that might happen across this and find some good advice, or a frightening parallel.  To know the true dangers of stalking, how one day we were just a happy family planning our next outing, and the next day we were victims of stalking, and a peeping tom, who turned our lives upside down.  How one day our Detective warned that he thought the stalking was going to escalate, and three days later Morgan was dead.  How out of control it becomes.  How everything you ever planned, or dreamed of is suddenly changed forever.  Steve and I will never get to give Morgan a beautiful wedding like her sister had, we will never get to play with the grandchildren she was planning on sharing with us, we will never ever get another hand squeeze that meant “I love you” from her, we will never get to hear about what her next big adventure was to be, because we no longer have Morgan with us on this earth – we will suffer her loss until the day we die.

I never want any of this to happen to another girl, another family when the resources and the knowledge exist to prevent it.  As always – in Morgan’s memory, and honor – I wish for you to have the awareness and knowledge we did not to keep you all safe from such tragedy.