What does it take to defend yourself?

Wouldn’t it be nice to know what it would take to defend your child in a suituation of danger?  It’s an answer many would like to know. as it is very telling in how more and more now,  I’m asked the same question – just how often are victims of stranger stalkers such as Morgan had – murdered by their stalker?  And I’ve never had a good answer for them.  And once again not to frighten everyone, but to raise awareness appropriately, it would be good to have a valid number based on research.  And to know what is an appropriate response to the dangers you suddenly face.

In our own situation, which is a small sample to be sure, Morgan was stalked by a stranger stalker and she was murdered, which I say because I don’t believe that on December 2, 2011, after four months of stalking, and right in the middle of everything set in motion that last week such as, formal interviews scheduled, Keenan’s work schedule for the last six months scheduled to be collected, Morgan going to be out-of-town for three days, the detective believing the stalking would escalate, deputies now suddenly coming by our house hourly during the wee hours of the morning and searching up on the roof, and a host of other facts. I just don’t believe someone else suddenly decided that was the right night to murder Morgan.  I believe it was her stalker, I’m just uncertain as to how much involvement his accomplice(s) had in her murder.

The government has few numbers that directly correlate, but they do have numbers that are very disturbing.  The first that jumps out at me is that:

“54% of female intimate partner homicide victims reported the stalking to the police before their stalkers killed them.”

I read that to mean if you have a stalker that used to be an intimate partner – after you report him to the police, 54% of the time you will be killed.  Do you think the 54% of women killed in this statistic were ever told just how dire their danger level was?  By the police they were reporting it to?  Because if they were not, I believe that should be almost criminal all by itself.

What if the very first time you were to call 911 or dispatch you were told this fact?  Frightening? Yes.  But informed and aware? That too.  Does anyone think that being ignorant of the danger and then murdered in that bliss is preferable to being frightened yet safer, because you were aware of the true dangers?  The informed and aware becomes a very key component to safety, a very important part.  Steve and I were not, absolutely not, ever apprised of any of the real dangers by the Sheriff’s department.  We were doing more that they had ever seen someone do, yet it was not enough to save Morgan, was it?

Make no mistake, the fight against stalking could easily be called a war.  When it’s drugs they use the term war.  You know the, “war on drugs.”  They have tanks here in Garfield, and task forces, and informants, and who knows what else.  But for stalkers, it would appear there is nothing beyond flashlights.  No clear-cut plan for attack, no booklet, no warnings about how to stop it.  That part is left completely up to us, unless you count the wildlife cams supplied by the Sheriffs with dead batteries.

What we need at the very least is a plan – that includes assistance from our local law enforcement.  And a really coordinated effort that is absolutely absent right now.

That brings me to the second statistic I saw over and over again:

“76% of Femicide victims had been stalked by the person who killed them.”

Femicide was a word that I didn’t know, and the definitions vary, “the killing of women,” is in most definitions, but then they begin to vary widely.  One definition even includes, “with impunity,” which I found to be particularly upsetting.

I do try to be positive, and not the harbinger of disaster, but it’s so easy to think that only some parts of the world suffer Femicide, and we in America certainly do not.  Well I could easily make the statement that Morgan was a victim of Femicide, and it would be true.  I could also add the upsetting “with impunity” statement contained in some definitions and I would also be correct.  That is a very sad state of affairs for women in this state.

The rest of the statistic spells out – “stalked by the person who killed them.”

So 76% of women murdered as part of any retaliation, or part of a group such as stalking victims had been stalked by the person who killed them.  And as Steve is quick to point out that the 76% is probably only cases that were solved.  In Morgan’s case she would not have been killed by her stalker because there was never a case, never charges filed, and never a trial . . . yet.

I hate how this works out after having been there and pulling answers from locked jaws for over a year.  First the Sheriff’s botch the investigation, not my opinion, that’s what I am told it was, no law against incompetence and all that.  Then they come to our house and, basically, no actually,  it seems that they do their best to destroy the crime scene of our daughter’s murder.  And remember we don’t know if it is actually a crime scene or not and will not for weeks.  So the day Morgan was found would have been really premature to destroy the crime scene.  Nobody really knew if she was murdered or not on that day.  Not Law Enforcement, not the Forensic Pathologist, and certainly not us, but since it was what they called “suspicious circumstances” it should have been treated as a homicide until proven otherwise.

Then they, the Coroner and Sheriff of Garfield, one by one, close all investigations down.  Never saw a stalker, suggesting maybe there was not one?  Morgan’s dead, no one to stalk anymore, stalking happened, but now no need to follow-up on any leads.  And at the end of all these excuses sits the next young woman who will now be all on her own, just as Morgan was all on her own, with only help from her parents.  And if it was not enough for Morgan, I doubt if the help from the next young woman’s parents is going to be enough either.  More of an unfortunate prelude to the next unreported case of Femicide in Garfield County than anything else.

I know it sounds serious when I put it that way but it is serious, very serious – our daughter is dead.  I just dashed off an eight page letter full of questions that need desperately to be answered and have not as of yet.  Steve proofed it for me and said, “this is going on truth for Morgan,” and it will, I’ll reference it back to this very post.

And I have decided something, statistics are only a necessary evil, short enough to convey the situation in sound bite fashion, but so utterly shocking in the underlying information they summarize.

I want a meaningful set of statistics, one that tells the true story of a stalker, all of the different ones somehow.  One who is also a peeping tom, who is also a trophy hunter, who was also the acknowledged class bully from kindergarten on, who was sheltered and protected by no less than three people on our quiet street in the middle of Colorado as he stalked our daughter.

I want the statistic that says this combination, if not stopped, is lethal and explosive.  And I want that for the next young woman, so she knows what she is up against and how to react to save her life so she doesn’t have to end up as Morgan did.  And unless you are one of those that agrees with the Garfield County notion that nothing happened here, I hope you do the same with your child.  Really, even if you do agree with Garfield County, err on the safe side and take it very seriously if anything remotely similar were to ever happen to your child.

I feel that it is much easier to back off from reacting to nothing that to suffer the consequence of not enough reaction to something…be it your little child, or your 20-year-old daughter, you want the best, and they deserve the best – from every single person involved.

Seeming to defy all logic, insanely perched, yet there it is.

Investigations can be so multifaceted and multilayered, all at the same time, with so much going on that you do not see, or even know about, but then find out about later. Only eventually, later, much later, as you dig into an investigation, especially a, “stalled investigation.” all the things that were or should have been investigated, but never were, become all to obvious.

When the Felony Stalking Detective Robert Glassmire, was talking to us during one of the very first meetings, he repeated that very cliché statement about evidence and the crime that goes like this, “we just follow the evidence, and see where it leads us.” That sounded promising at the time. Steve and I were hopeful for an end, and that it would come through quality evidence was always a fact we understood oh so well. That evidence now at last could be collected by a detective, instead of the, “hands off,” “not allowed”, situation the Deputies were in. This was a big step forward, and we believed it because we wanted to believe – very badly.

However, in practice and in our real word, when your Detective has very limited time, there is inevitably some picking and choosing going on, between interviews, evidence, new leads, stakeouts, and ending a stalking situation before it can escalate to a tragedy, unfortunately something had to give. Far less than ideal.

A really sharp federal investigator told Steve, and I once that you follow every lead to the very end. Not just some leads, you do not pick the most important leads and guess at the others, every single lead, one at a time. It was how crimes were solved, or not, in his experience.

But what about the last day of her fight against a stalker, the day she died? Wouldn’t you think with all that manpower involved there would accomplish a thorough investigation? At least for one day? For an unattended death under suspicious circumstances? The Sheriff choose not to call in the CBI, but do it themselves. Not one officer certified in death scene investigation was present. And as I read the reports, I am shocked. It actually takes a few times through for it to really sink in – to become more than words and more words, all with no meaning. The sum total of written reports both about her stalking, and her death are nothing less than appalling. I can only hope I have enough notes, and other documentation to fill in the holes, and correct all the mistakes.

Morgan was killed by her stalker, and we can not bring her back – but what do we tell the next victim? What is going to change the outcome for that victim? Learning from the mistakes of Morgan’s case has to somehow become the impetus for change, and a more promising future.

So picture Dr. Kurtzman (the forensic pathologist that did her autopsy) for a moment, the contracted forensic pathologist. He is in Grand Junction, over a hundred miles away. He will never see the crime/death scene, only the pictures and reports. His job in this is to use his skills and expertise and see where the evidence leads him.

I would find out all too soon that mistakes would abound on his end as well. Even the position of her body was completely wrong in the report. I found her, Steve was next. We were asked more than once, independently, and together. We answered, Morgan was found lying on her side, looking unnatural, posed, something was wrong. But the report omitted all that and only said she was found face down. Steve and I are not certified death scene investigators and we did not know how to evaluate what we were seeing and discovering. The last thing we wanted to do on earth that morning was to discover and see that our daughter was dead. As for the glaring mistake on body position, it has never been corrected. Everyone quickly blamed it on Thomas Walton, he types the reports. And there the truth ends, swept under the proverbial carpet.

Then came the Amitriptyline level, which should be enough to cause an investigation all by itself. First insignificant to Dr. Kurtzman, then months later, it was massive to others, the certain cause of her death in fact. First there were no sign of pills or fragments in her stomach, that ruled out accidental overdose or suicide, then, eight months later Dr. Kurtzman suddenly claimed that fragments were seen, only, of course they were not collected. Swept under the rug also. How hard would that have been to end all speculation and actually prove something? Collect the fragments claimed to be seen eight months later, and test what they were. Especially since the sample had not changed at all! Only stored for eight months and then sent in for additional laboratory testing, the lab could easily have picked out any fragments and tested them, but they were not asked to.

There were many reasons to do this. First, the doctors volunteering their time for Morgan’s cause, had questions they wanted answers for, and wanted to be a part of any further testing. Here the testing was already done in secrecy, the doctors or even us, the victims also and the parents were not told of this testing, until long after it was over, and the sample exhausted.

But then second, evidence is seen. If during an autopsy the bullet that killed the victim is seen, even eight months later. It is collected as evidence without doubt. If these “pill fragments” could have been the figurative “bullet” that killed Morgan Ingram, then why were they not collected?

And third, exactly how does Dr. Kurtzman see pill fragments in the gastric fluid when it is shipped, frozen in a container to a laboratory for testing? “How did he do that?” Was a question from another doctor volunteering his time to Morgan’s case.

So then, lots of noise about the pills and fragments, except for others it did not matter at all. Forensic Pathologists and Toxicologists, every single one actually, has said the Amitriptyline could have been liquid, injected, or even crushed pills injected, so pill or pill fragments was not important for them at all. There were instead, other, more pressing, questions. Such as being conscious or even unconscious and ingesting that amount in any form without vomiting is a big problem that had to be explained. One of the forensic specialists had a single sentence about it in his opinion. If 1,000 ng/ml would kill her, how does she have a level of 7,909 ng/ml?

For Dr. Kurtzman, this was not a problem, he had a pat answer for most everything, which was, “he had seen it before.” I do not know it for a fact, but I am very confident he has never seen anything remotely like this before, because not many doctors across the country ever have. Even more so after the contents of a date rape concoction found in her gastric fluids are added to the already massive overkill level in her blood.

We assumed he had a list of Morgan’s “medications” or “non medications” from the Deputy Coroner, only now I see it came from the Sheriff’s department. But this list was evidently compiled by wandering through her room and finding old prescription pill bottles. This list of Morgan’s medications is all wrong, right from the beginning.

I wonder how many medicine cabinets or other favorite spots to safely keep prescription medications stored in households across America have old prescriptions medications in them? What if the Deputy Coroner, as a method to discover the true facts, was looking in your medicine cabinet right now and establishing a list of medications for you on the day you died. Would it be correct? What if, like Steve does, you had a box that you put any expired or unused medications for a drop off at the local hospital during a collection drive and Steve was pulling out even older bottles, anything with Morgans name, because he thought that is what they wanted. All this really didn’t matter in Morgan’s death because none of these medications were in Morgan’s body, except the Amitriptyline (which wasn’t hers) – the ones found in her body can all be found on the date rape panel that almost every lab has and can run…Morgan never took or had any of these drugs in our house.

The world is ever-changing, used to be you just flushed old prescription medications down the toilet, just like dumping old paint in the trash, you can’t do that anymore, both for good reason. Then hospitals had collections days, maybe twice a year, then once a year, for all those old medications. Now, after Morgan’s death, I can just dispose of medication I don’t need or want any longer at the pharmacy, best plan yet, but not an available option back then.

So there are pill bottles from around the house compiled, some from her room, some from her bathroom and some from Steve’s closet. Now they are on a list purporting to be the current medications, and all completely false. My isn’t this turning into a botched investigation, any surprise?

Making matters worse, through a process no one has owned up to, words appear on the police reports in explanation for use of the prescription medications. Not from her doctors, or her parents, or anyone else who really knew, but from Sheriff’s investigators, explanations such as, “I later learned that this medication was used to treat seizures.” All completely false again, Morgan never had seizures – how are we ever going to get to the truth when this is the “evidence” we are working with? Maybe that’s why most places require certified death scene investigators, so gross errors such as this do not take place.

Just a little over a hundred miles down the road, in Mesa county. Deputy Coroners are required to be members of two different crime scene certification programs. Treating those killed and their families with respect and proper collection of evidence. Here in Garfield County, nothing, see how well it functions?

Investigators that morning could have asked her parents, but they chose not to. Investigators could have asked any of her doctors, the person who would write the prescription, but they chose not to. The investigators could have asked for the pharmacy records, where her prescriptions would have been filled, and records are kept for years, but they chose not to.

Unbelievable as it sounds the investigators of an unattended death under suspicious circumstances in the midst of an escalating stranger stalker case chose to just guess instead, and came up with a list that might belong to someone, somewhere, but definitely not belonging to Morgan, the murdered young woman whose Postmortem Examination Report was going to depend on this information. No wonder the investigation has been deemed to be “so thoroughly botched by the Garfield Sheriffs department.” Imagine how you would feel as a parent when you heard that? I had no idea the pit in the bottom of my stomach could drop that low until that very instant.

As if proof is required that it was botched, a toxicology screen is run and results come back weeks later with none of the medications the “investigators” write in their reports she was taking, except one. And I then tell Dr. Kurtzman a well-known fact, she was not taking that medication, had not had a prescription for over a year and a half, and none had been purchased at a pharmacy for even longer.

A doctor helping to unravel the insanity for Steve and I suggests we check with every doctor in the valley Morgan has ever seen to see if she asked them for a prescription, not wanting us to know. It’s possible he says. Remembering, follow every lead to the very end, we do. And the answers are unanimous, Morgan never asked any of them for a prescription. The doctor she saw less than 36 hours before her body was discovered reiterates that she offered medication to Morgan to aid sleep, and to feel better, but Morgan had explained how she was managing her stress through diet and exercise and did not like to take pills.

A little ballerina dancing until exhaustion and then sharing stories of her stalker with her teacher and friends as they all cooled down. Dr Kurtzman was told all of this but answered about her Amitriptyline level with the statement, “of course she was, it was in her system.” Is that the benchmark in a proper investigation? Would that satisfy you? If it is found in your system it is because you were taking it? What if it was a bullet? Would it have always been there? Because it’s a prescription drug it can not possibly have been given to you. injected into you, or poured into your stomach through a tube? Or any of the other, progressively disgusting methods we have been told about?

There is a term for the in law, it’s called, “Prima Facia” or, “at first blush,” mainly it means that it is so completely obvious from the facts that exist and are well established that…if you don’t get it, then you just don’t want to.

If there was a bottle of prescription medications in the house, with her name on it, then all that means is that Morgan might have taken that medication, in the past, or maybe she chose not to, and nothing more. When she went to the ER at the local hospital for an ankle injury she was given bottles of prescription medications to take as needed. She didn’t need them, got by without them so she chose not to take them. It happens. That is how some of those bottles end up in medicine cabinets across the country.

So there is Dr. Kurtzman, 100 miles away and waiting for the reports and pictures and Morgan’s body. Because a proper autopsy does not begin with a deceased body on a metal table. Not according to the standards established by Colorado for this autopsy, it has already started with the gathering of vital information at her death scene and he is responsible for what is happening at the house where her body was discovered and declared to be deceased.

I wonder if the investigators conducting this haphazard investigation are at least conferring with Dr. Kurtzman for direction as they make all these incorrect guesses about Morgan. One of the Detectives at our house that morning keeps going out onto the driveway during her death scene investigation to make calls on his cell phone. I wonder if he is keeping Dr. Kurtzman “in the loop” on how things are progressing at the, “investigation?”

Truth is, Morgan was not taking any prescription medications on the day she died, her toxicology tests back that up, and the truth never changes. And further, any medications that may have been in the house on the day she died were not involved in her death, another truth that will never change. A circuitous, very tedious trail has led specialists to the conclusion of the steps involved in her death. It is “Prima Fascia” once all the facts are laid out. The same facts these investigators had to work with. Only for “investigators” who are conducting an “investigation” that, an hour or so into her investigation, has resorted to just guessing at her medications and will later compound their mistakes by filling in incorrect reasons for her to be taking the medication – that she was not talking – would it have been that hard to research and get it right?

And the haphazardness did not stop at medications. On the day Morgan was killed the investigators did take her camera, it was in a camera bag, with all her attachments. The evidence manifest lists the camera, and we did get it back. Only the memory chip was no longer in it. Does that mean the intruder took it? Did the Sheriff’s take it out, and misplace it? We have asked them, but they have never answered this important question.

Morgan was an accomplished photographer. Dr. Kurtzman is an accomplished photographer, and I doubt he brings his cameras anywhere without memory chips. Very tough to take memorable pictures, capture a sunrise or sunset, or even the clouds billowing by in a fascinating manner without a memory chip. She had one in there and it disappeared. Another of the many questions without answers in Morgan’s death.

Like her driver’s license. An investigator at the house writes in a report that he had seen it, but along with the missing memory chip, we can not find her license either. And we did not spend a few hours, it took weeks to carefully pack away all her things. We only found her previous license. Morgan always kept it behind her current license, so I wonder if in a quick glance he slid out her previous license and mistook it for her current license. Just like long expired, old, faded prescription bottles written into reports as current by the same investigators. Morgan is taking these right now, medications that she was not taking at all, complete with made up reasons for taking these medications.

Remember it’s to be treated as a homicide until proven otherwise. When the investigators are just guessing, and they guess wrong, you not only end up with a crime/murder scene that is “so thoroughly botched,” but you end up with Sheriff’s reports that are either 100% false or contain a lot of false information within them. Just add to that list the complete absence of any report at all for incidents that I have well documented, discussed later with Detectives and further documented in emails and that is approaching the state of Morgan’s Sheriff’s reports, and her investigation, both about her stalking and about her death.

And believe me it is a monumental task to correct each mistake, between my notes, my timeline, text messages, emails, phone records, security video and others I can come a lot closer than guessing. And for my daughter Morgan deserves the best I can do. And is it still possible to prove a case with all this haphazard bungling going on? We haven’t stopped and if fact we may have hit the lowest point, and be heading back up again. This has been an extremely gut-wrenching process. Time will tell, won’t it?

And with all this talk about medical records I just want to point out a link in the blog to the position Steve and I take on Morgan’s rights, specifically medical records. Coroners can request them, but then have no right to release them. Anyone who has publicly released information derived from the electronic medical records of Morgan Ingram violates her HIPAA rights. And just like possessing stolen goods is still a crime, possessing improperly released medical records violates HIPAA rights, which most definitely survive death. We only wish to protect what remains of Morgan’s rights, as I’m sure any parent would.

And as for accuracy of information so far, it is so absolutely deflating to see and read now, how Morgan was really treated on the day her body was found, by those sworn to protect her. I really don’t know how it could get any worse. But then I have not finished reading the “official reports” just yet… And while I want to allow access to them all I really believe it is in Morgan’s best interest that the corrections are made before that happens. We have already seen where page after page of guesses, and inaccuracies, printed and given to the world has gotten us. Printing the truth in that arena also promises to be most illuminating.