I just ran across this article http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_28470805/colorado-laws-allow-rogue-officers-stay-law-enforcement in the Denver Post.

It is titled: Colorado laws allow rogue officers to stay in law enforcement.  Colorado’s rogue police officers continue to stay in law enforcement due to lenient state laws.

They wrote, “Roger Goldman, a nationally recognized expert on officer misconduct who has helped write laws establishing state police review panels, said Colorado’s lenient rules allow unfit officers to continue doing harm.”

It was an eye-opener for sure, and then I saw this article http://www.denverpost.com/news/ci_28952022/colorado-home-second-chance-police-officers-from-other

This picture is a picture of a grease board Steve used to keep in the office at his shop.  One day Morgan came by to help out in his office, and she wrote this on his grease board.  She never mentioned that she wrote it, but of course the next morning when Steve opened his office he saw it, and he NEVER erased it.  He kept it on the grease board because it made him smile every time he looked at it.  He still has it today, but because he fears that it may accidentally get erased, he wrapped it in plastic and stored it away.  This is what we parents do when our children are taken from us.  When we no longer can see or hear them, and we do not want to loose the precious items they left behind.  Somehow seeing her writing makes it seem like she is just away at school, or on some grand adventure.

Tomorrow is Steve’s birthday.  It should be a day of celebration, but the days leading up to today have been extremely hard for him.  Every day became more and more emotional.  His heart has been torn in two. It has been almost 4 years since Morgan was murdered and there is no closure.

Morgan was his baby…she was our youngest child.  A surprise gift we received when we least expected it.  At the time she was born we already had a 13 year old daughter and a 10 year old son, but when Morgan entered this world we all fell in love – she completed us.  It is so hard for him, as it is me, to look through all the happy pictures of Morgan…it shouldn’t be, the pictures should make us smile, and they do, but then we start to cry.  It is like someone is pulling our hearts out of our chests.

So tomorrow everyone in our family will put on smiles and try our best to make Steve happy, at least for a little while, but in reality I know even if he can sustain a mask of happiness he will be crying inside.  Anyone can be a father, but only a special man can be a daddy, and Steve is, and was, a daddy to Morgan as well as our other 2 children, as well as to our niece who never knew her real father.  Steve is and always will be a daddy, and I know Morgan will be at his side all day tomorrow, even though he won’t see her – my hope is that he will feel her spirit come through, because of all the love she has for him…death can never destroy that love.  I wish Steve a happy birthday – he is the best daddy I could have ever hoped for as a father to my children, and I love him with all of my heart.