December 25, 2011 – Day 24 of Morgan’s investigation – Christmas Day and messages with so much love

WhylahChristmass2011

Well we woke up Christmas morning and Morgan’s older sister, and her husband had bags of presents full of doggie and kitty toys for Morgan’s two little ones, Wylah May and Mogwai.  They seemed to be so happy playing with all their new little toys while running around the Christmas tree.  I was worried they were going to knock it down – but it remained standing.  We all made breakfast, and then Morgan’s older brother and his family came over – throughout the day and into the night we had so many relatives and friends stopping by to talk, hug, cry and laugh.  We watched the dogs, cat, and our grandchildren all run and play so it was hard not to smile.  We all missed Morgan so very much, but at the same time we could all feel her presence among us, and I felt happiness again.

Just before Christmas dinner, and with everyone there around us I was finally strong enough to read the little notes some of her cousins, Aunts and Uncles had written to Morgan on little pieces of paper, and tucked them into the miniature paper baskets, that were made out of construction paper, that hung on the tree.  This is what they said:

You inspired me to live my life fully and completely – I’ll miss you & think of you, and carry you with me for the rest of my life – Cousin C.

I remember Morgan at her older sister’s wedding.  The bridesmaids were running around doing all the last minute things you do to yourself to look perfect, but not Morgan, she walked out with her wings and looked so beautiful and so serene.  I was amazed at her composure.  Aunt C.

Morgan, what a beautiful, talented, loving, intelligent young woman you are.  I know you’re an angel now looking after your mom and dad.  You are not gone, your spirit is still here to guide us, and encourage us to love one another.  Love – your Aunt E.

Here is my heart message for Morgan and her family.  I, and hundreds of others who had the fortune to be a part of her life will take each breath deeper, laugh harder, and love with all our hearts.  Cousin E.

I wish I had known you better…it’s so obvious that you are a wonderful lady.  We will miss you and you will always live in our hearts.  Cousin J.

I thank Morgan for the gift of her photos.  She has captured the world through her eyes for us to always enjoy.  How did she know to do this?  I wish I could ask her, but somehow I know she will tell me anyway.  Uncle C.

Life – it doesn’t end with passing time, we will be together again in the end.  Aunt Toni & Uncle Steve I wish you didn’t have to go through this loss.  I love you.  Your angel is watching you from above and with you in your hearts.  I love you so much.  Cousin N.

Though Morgan is no longer with us she will always be a part of us as we keep her in our thoughts and memories.  Love – Cousin R.

Morgan – you will always be my call to awareness, a woman who lived her life immersed in awareness – may we bring and share your life of grace to those we meet as you have!  You shall be sorely missed.  Love – Uncle R.

Even though the pain of losing you is unbearable for those who loved you, I know every single one of us is glad to have been awakened in one way or another by your inspiring personality.  Cousin H.

This is a wonderful season of love and hope as we celebrate the light of the world, and the light and life of Morgan.  Her love shines like a star – glowing forever.  Aunt A.

We share an emptiness in the heart while Morgan is not with us, until we meet with her again.  Love – Uncle R (she had two uncle R’s)

I remember first meeting Morgan, it was on a trip to Steve and Toni’s Snowmass house.  Ray, Ryan, Sean, and Scott were having a Super Soaker battle around the house.  Kristin and very young Morgan were in a small pool on the deck.  They were mostly innocent bystanders in that watery warfare.  I remember there were lots of laughs and giggles about the whole thing – I was most impressed that the two girls were so peaceful, and busy ignoring the water fight while playing themselves.  A happy, fun memory.  Uncle S.

I always admired Morgan’s open loving nature.  We wouldn’t see her for years, yet when we did get together she would always embrace us as if we just saw her yesterday.  When you were with her you felt special.  Aunt C.

Morgan, I’m sorry we’ve been so separated.  Every time we were together you were always a ray of sunshine, so kind, so accepting.  Thank you for your example of life and love.  I love you Morgan.  Cousin J.

Although I only knew Morgan a short time, I learned that and saw and felt that she was a loving, caring, accepting, welcoming and selfless person.  She was a beautiful girl with a loving smile.  Thank you for taking time to come out and see us so I could have the blessing to get to know her better.  I love you!  I love Morgan.  I feel like she is happy & I look forward to seeing her again someday.  Love Cousin L.

I loved that Morgan embraced and love EVERYONE!  What a gift she had – that girl made every person she touched feel special.  I will never forget the first time she me my kids – she embraced them and said, “Welcome cousins” – wow!  I love her energy, she was magical.  Morgan is an inspiration to us all.  I love you sweet girl, Aunt T.

 

 

 

Another story that needed to be heard

“Knowledge is the antidote to fear.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Toni – This is an email from someone that watched us on the Dr. Phil show, and then read the website and blog about Morgan – she sent this to me right after watching the Dr. Phil Show.

D – I commented earlier, right after seeing the show. I was about to leave for work and didn’t have a lot of time. You are so gracious to thank Dr. Phil after being on the show. It was good that you got to share your story, or I would have never known. But, honestly, that is all the thanks Dr. Phil deserves. He tried to make you look like a bad person. He implied your daughter used alcohol and drugs. If she did, would that justify what happened to her? Of all the people supporting your blog, he found and AIRED one critic. He barely asked the other people any questions that would explain their relationship to your family. 
I am a 41 years old teacher. I was stalked and my entire family was terrorized when I was 23 years old. It went on for a year, until one female judge finally got the case in her court and put my stalker away for a year. For one year of punishment, I have a lifetime of emotional damage. You and your family need justice AND psychological healing. Dr. Phil did not appear to offer you either one. Your airing is and was the last time I watched his show.

Toni – I then sent her an email to make sure it was OK to post her words and yes graciously said yes (see below) and she is very right to bring up the point about counseling – Steve and I have been going on a weekly basis since Morgan was murdered and to be honest with you I don’t think we would be here today, still trying to get Morgan’s case opened, and trying to help other victims, if it was for our counselors help – she is truly another of Morgan’s army of earth angels!

D – You are welcome to use the comment. When I went through my ordeal, there was little known or done about stalking.  Most of the judges I encountered chalked it all up to a man pursuing a woman. That is why I am so angry about what happened to Morgan. This NEVER should have happened in the 21st century. What ever happens with this case, I hope you and your family receive counseling. My family recovered from my stalking, even if I suffer the residual effects. They recovered because I survived it. Your loss guarantees that you will have the residual effects. For that, my heart goes out to you all.

Toni – All the people that are giving me permission to post their experiences with stalkers (which I call sexual predators) are very brave and strong people.  I want to thank them all, whether I post their stories here for others to learn from, and to raise awareness of the problem, or if I am the only person that reads those stories – you are all heros!  Thank you!

 

December 24, 2011 – Day 23 of Morgan’s investigation – Break for the holidays

The story has been told once, but it was so special it bears telling again.  Steve and I had made a decision, not a conscious decision, but a grief stricken parents decision that we would “visit Christmas” but we would not really have a Christmas.  I told friends and family as I spoke with them, and they agreed it was probably best, perhaps next year it would be better.

So here we were, and it was Christmas Eve – our oldest daughter, and her husband were with us, they insisted that they had made a reservation, and we were all to go out to Aspen for a Christmas Eve dinner.  We agreed, we got ready to go, and I went in Morgan’s bathroom to check on Mogwai.  I was so shocked when I saw, sitting right on top of the closed lid of Morgan’s toilet seat, her gold round box with a tassle on the top…it was her honey glitter powder she always wore when she was going out somewhere special.  I couldn’t figure out how it had gotten there…most of all her stuff had been packed up.  I called Steve and our oldest daughter into the bathroom but neither of them could figure out how it got there either.  Then I started to smile – Morgan wanted her sister, and I to put on the honey glitter before we went out…so we did.  It was like having Morgan with us.  We drove to Aspen and it was beautiful, with all the snow and the lights glittering, and people bustling around, but I still could not shake the feeling like I wish I could just curl up in bed in a ball, and never deal with anything again.  But then this amazing warmth fell over me, and I knew in my heart that it was not what Morgan would have wanted, so we went out to dinner, and tried to have a good time.  It was really nice being with our oldest daughter and her husband – they were trying their best to have bubbly, happy thoughts and memories, and the food was wonderful.  We finished dinner and walked back to the car.  We drove back down valley, and went to bed.  As I lay there I was thinking Christmas Eve had always seemed so exciting and magical to me – wrapping and hiding presents for kids, cooking and inviting friends over – I had never been one for going out and eating in a restaurant, but I guess our lives never really stay the same.  Change is always just around the corner, and I knew it was time for us to change as well.  Morgan’s gift of leaving her honey glitter out so we could wear it was very special, and it made me feel like she was still with us, and that was magical enough for me, so I drifted off to sleep.

Today is February 6, 2013 – Remembering her beautiful soul and all that she gave the world in her time helps me realize it is so much more important than remembering how horribly she has been treated since her death as some people try to cover things up.  The true Morgan will shine forever, and I applaud all of those who help her memory, with all that she gave to others she should be remembered as she was.

Steve’s identity has apparently been stolen, he discovered this through a letter just delivered at his shop of all places, the first of many I am sure.  I have things that need attending to sooner rather than later.  Yet how trivial this all is in comparison to the sacrifice Morgan was not asked, but forced to give.  The full truth is all that remains to come from this horrific tale – that and the sharing of hope for all other victims.  If only Morgan were here to touch you all and share her presence with every single victim of stalking.  The difference she would make is without doubt immeasurable.  If she could have been there for you she would have, Morgan would have dropped everything to be there at your side. To assist and help in this unbelievably trying time for you.  That she can help others only now in spirit is beyond Morgan’s control – but she will help through others.  Steve and I will take up the torch – she would so gladly have chosen to carry if she could is without question.  It is an honor, and it is our destiny to carry on for her where she can not.  And for the wonderful people who assist us in this – thank you so very, very much…we couldn’t do it without you.

We all miss you, and we all love you Morgan…Morgans iphone self

December 23, 2011 – Day 22 of Morgan’s investigation – What a coincidence

morgantreeThe detectives were quick to change their mind about a Coroners Inquest the next time we saw them.  Obviously they had talked with someone and now it was not a simple easy thing to do.  In fact it may have never been done in Garfield County, at least not anytime in recent memory.

So basically it was not an option, we would need doctors, specialists and Trey Holt would be very upset if we tried, in fact the order would have to come from Trey Holt as he is the Coroner.

The holidays were coming up and it really had us questioning our ability to forge on without Morgan.  Steve and I were focused on the grandchildren, and trying to let out the happy memories of Morgan, there were so many, and for that we were so very blessed and shall always be.  Morgan’s cousins went out into the forest and had cut us down a small little pine tree and made all handmade ornaments all by themselves.  All little ballerina fairies (to represent Morgan) out of construction paper, glitter, popsicle sticks and all kinds of arts and crafts that they had lying around.  Morgan I’m sure was smiling right beside them…she loved making crafts.  They also made little swedish baskets out of construction paper with little individual notes in them that Steve and I could read on Christmas morning – they were notes to Morgan about the things they loved the most about her.  There was so much love wrapped in that little tree that I couldn’t help smile every time I looked at it – even though my heart was telling me it didn’t think it could celebrate any holidays anymore without Morgan.  Morgan’s Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins that had spent so many hours working on this for Steve and I were a bunch of the most loving and special people in the whole world!  And we could never thank them enough!

Today is February 5, 2013 – And on that same day a person of interest, a suspect, the prime suspect, take your choice, was pulled over in Glenwood Springs by the Glenwood Springs police department. Now remember the Glenwood Springs Police Department is a different jurisdiction.  By the time they had finished searching his car he would be charged with a few more charges than he was facing when he was first pulled over on a warrant.

When we found out about this arrest it would be much later, and we would immediately raise the point that he had been given glowing reports, squeaky clean references and here he was up to his eyeballs in charges.

As usually happens in these kinds of things we were told they were willing to drop the charges of theft by receiving for a guilty plea on the drug charges.  He was serving probation so something had happened.

Out of it all of this all we cared about was the story that he had been to a cash for gold store in Glenwood, and sold someone’s valuables, which had been given to him by someone else, hence the theft by receiving.  The nuances of law were explained to us at length.

It was also after we had visited doctors in California who had completely different interpretations of how Morgan had come to die that night.  So Steve looked at the cash for gold store sale with disbelief.  He said nobody would go to a cash for gold store a dozen miles away and sell Morgan’s things a few weeks after they had been involved in her death – this was too crazy.

But of course we went there anyway after consulting with one of Steve’s friends on the inner workings, legally, of a cash for gold place in Colorado.  The people at the place were friendly and helpful.  We showed them a picture of KVG and they instantly recognized him as a regular customer.  But as for the jewelry sold that day, frantic searches through stacks of papers in various places yielded a copy of his license, but nothing else.  There was nothing to see.

At least it was a lead and we had followed up on it.  Of course parents of the deceased are probably not the first choice to be collecting evidence of this kind.  I was just so starved for answers at that time, I had to know.  But if Morgan’s jewelry was part of that sale, or of the sale before it or the sales after from their “regular customer” we probably will never know, because that part was not investigated.

It’s maddening I know, trust me.  I asked Detective Rob a hypothetical question about this.  I wondered if they were serving a warrant on his house and in the search found things of Morgan’s would that prove it?  And he said, No, he could just say someone gave it to him, wouldn’t prove anything.  I wonder about that, because if I was on a jury and these facts were presented to me I would take it very seriously, that would be a really big coincidence for me to just ignore.  But maybe I am the only one that thinks this is just too peculiar, just like the many other things we have found out over the past year.

In addition to the last post more information from the same writer – please read

I wrote and shared my story — in some form at the 8 month point out from it — with Band Back Together’s website, so I don’t have an issue with this at all. Since my message to you, the stalker’s boss (and my supposed friend) has defriended me on Facebook, choosing to side with the stalker because the creep is so sociopathic that he has convinced everyone he is a saint, the event where I met the man almost 6 years ago is no more (my boss took the fall because I chose to not sit quietly and tolerate the behavior — but she still sides with me) and it was, fittingly enough, a year ago today that the creep admitted his decision to research my life — hence come forward about the stalking, which I know went on for years before it was brought to my attention. The link in my e-mail to you is to my butterfly story of recovery. The link to my Band Back Together, trying to make sense of it all, story is:http://www.bandbacktogether.com/post/3412, if that helps.

They come in all shapes and sizes, in romantic relationships and not, and the more awareness that can be made, the better off women everywhere (and men affected by obsessive women too) will be. My sickness became worse when realizing that he was successful in his efforts to convince Clear Channel’s HR that I stalked him (despite the screenshots of e-mails, his handwriting on the box, the tracking information from the box to prove he shipped it to me, etc.) but I realized then too that sociopaths are very good at hiding what they are and that he is using his company as pawns, just like he uses everyone else. I don’t take it personally any longer and I am healing. Getting to February 20 and the year anniversary of my “don’t contact me again” e-mail (and Lord knows how much behind the scenes research he did beyond that) will be huge for me. I’m lucky. I escaped with emotional scars, humiliation and pain; too many, like your daughter, aren’t that lucky and that’s what needs to change. I think from my end of things, I’ve wanted to get the message out there that yes, it happens in romantic breakups, but it happens with strangers, work cohorts, etc. I had seen this man in real life — twice, for the grand total of 8 hours and that did not stop him. Having only seen me for 3 hours and having had a mere 10 minute, tops, conversation with me, six years ago on Valentine’s Day, was enough for him to Google search and contact me. It’s scary. It’s a problem. And it should not be written off as humor, regardless of how minuscule it may seem to an outsider. I know you know that all too well.

Have a great day and I’ll continue praying that you find some justice for your daughter. While – in my situation – I am a little sad my boss took the fall because I took a stand for what is right, I’m not sad that the creep won’t have a chance to videotape a wedding this year. In a small way, that is justice for me, even if it will never be enough.