Author Archives: Toni

December 4, 2012 – Day 3 of Morgan’s investigation – preparing for her viewing

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Stop. Wait for your turn to go.

Stop. Wait for your turn to go.

Morgan has died, we do not at this time know how or why.  We avoid those thoughts and focus on those around us.  The wellsprings of Morgan’s life, her love, and her happiness.

Contact with the detectives of her case is limited to organizational, necessary endeavors.  As a part of her death investigation, actually as the only function of her death investigation, the Sheriffs, not the Coroners, the Sheriffs have “gathered evidence”, all electronic items, her computer, cell phone and ipod. It is sad that after twenty years of exuberant life Morgan is only investigated for her last weeks of communications.

The detectives have dutifully interviewed two acquaintances of Morgan on the day of her death.  Two whom Steve had warned would be the worst to interview,  One because of medical issues that best not be revealed and one that was not even in the country to have an accurate or reality based response to give,  That did not stop the detective, he questioned those two and only those two for the basis of the Coroners postmortem examination report.

That alone would set off a disagreement of fact VS fiction that will go far beyond this day. But more importantly a small portion of the misinformation of Morgan that haunts her true legacy even today, over a year later.

Our actual contact with the detective is quite cordial and focused on procedural events following a death.  We have viewing planned for those loved ones not in state at the time Morgan was taken from us, immediately following she will have a memorial.  Numerous items on the few electronic devices confiscated as a part of her investigation are now needed for her memorial.  Detective Megan steps forward to insure that those things will be returned as soon as possible.  And she delivers, our son by marriage works for two days without interruption to deliver the memorial in pictures and music.  It is a moving remembrance of our beautiful daughter, and it is fitting for her departure under the most questionable of circumstances.

Evidence that she was murdered only a small group knows about, the details grow as the all important plans for a goodbye fitting of what she has done in her life is completely drafted.  I share this evolving new information with detectives as I move forward with our closure to Morgan’s – our youngest blessed addition to our lives.  They promise to follow up, but I do not focus on that, I have a departed daughter to properly say goodbye to – as if that is remotely possible!

We have tight schedules and ample help to make sure that all is done.  Criminal aspects are dispensed for the moment, but later they will become all too obvious and forever looming.

Arrivals of family are more firmly set, and times for remembrances are altered.

Morgan’s friends have been leaving emotional posts on her Facebook since Friday when they heard she was gone – everyone is in shock and in pain.  Here is one post that I had to share from one of the “skaters” that was part of a group she would photograph whenever she had spare time – he attached one of the pictures she had taken on one of those magical days.  They called her the Skate Fairy and after her death they built a sculpture as a tribute to her.

Following up further on the death of the Jensen boys – mens rea is a term that has been brought up often since the murder of Morgan.  It is a simple Latin term and reflects the intent of an act.  So many meetings about Morgan have come to focus on the true intent of the perpetrators at the time.  One thing is for certain, the question or intent is for a jury to decide, under direction of the judge.  When I read about how Dr. Kurtzman (Morgan’s pathologist) is  deciding this issue on his own, my skin crawls.  It is not his place, not his purview.  Tell us exactly what happened medically, and let the investigators and the court system make the next decision – that’s what they are for…not the forensic pathologist.  This was a fear we had that Dr. Kurtzman would, in the future do the same thing he did in Morgan’s case, decide a manner of death (even under suspicious circumstances) as natural, or accidental, which would keep law enforcement from having to investigate and in the case of the Jenson boys even the DA says in 20 years he has never come upon a case where he is finding a crime, but the pathologist (Kurtzman) is calling accidental – so what is the DA to do?  Go against the pathologist?  Finding what killed the boys is the pathologist’s job – investigating what the intent might or might not have been is the job of law enforcement.  Not as in Morgan’s case where all decisions were made in advance by Kurtzman, regardless of the ability to correctly make such decisions, as new information and evidence was being presented.  Intent should never be the decision of the Coroner/Forensic Pathologist, facts about how the death occurred is their only job, which would allow law enforcement to properly investigate what the intent was.  Kurtzman could have put the manner of death (not the cause, but the manner) as Undetermined so an investigation could have been launched, but that did not happen.

In this case there are options left.  Kurtzman is being named in reports as the Coroner, which he is definitely not.  If he is acting as a deputy coroner, hopefully he is legally, as it was not in Morgan’s case.  That would leave the real Coroner of Mesa County to override Kurtzman’s findings, he clearly overstepped his bounds.  We will see what actually happens.  I pray that they will not be launched into the bizarre orbit that we were.  And allowed a proper investigation, and closure.

Morgan’s specialists this past year have indicated and identified so many errors in her investigation.  So many conclusions drawn that simply can not be.  If it takes a court case to establish the truth, Steve and I will not shy away for an instant.  We will also question why we had to expend so much for the simple truth.  A diagram of Morgan’s death is emerging.  All based on facts that are so far well established in the medical community.  Experts from around the country will be required to fully establish this simple truth.  And to that I am so grateful, we have the required brainpower for Morgan’s truth to fully emerge.  But I also ask why this could not have taken place as part of the investigation? As the ethics require.  No parents should have to investigate, and grieve for their child at the same time…it is inhuman, it is painful.  Where has the humanity in this world gone?

I guess that answer is yet to come.

December 3, 2011 – Day 2 of Morgan’s Investigation – Family and friends arriving

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The Jet trails arriving in Colorado

The Jet trails arriving in Colorado

I woke up and remember lying in bed, lying and praying. I could not convince myself to get out of bed, but I was giving it my best try.  Family and friends had arrived yesterday and more would surround us today.

It had snowed last night and it was completely quiet and white outside.  Steve had been given a task by detective Glassmire before he left yesterday, and he was already up and working at it.  I listened to him type and sob, and type and sob. Then I would sob, and tell him to stop it.  Then he would sob and apologize for it.  I wondered if this is what our life has become, either way I was having great problems accepting it.

Steve reminded me that Morgan’s Godfather was coming in this morning and we would be off to the airport soon to meet him.  He wanted to finish the request from detective Glassmire first.

Like many other seemingly simple questions at the beginning became.  This “simple request” would become greatly problematic.  The Deputy Coroner wanted from Steve an email as to any medical type things that Morgan had that they should “look for at autopsy”, it was “anything no matter how minor”.  He didn’t have to do it until Monday, but he wanted to just get it off as soon as he could.

In reality Morgan’s autopsy has already been completed and they are asking an artist for any medical opinions as to his daughters medical conditions which is, of course ridiculous, but it is what they do with the email.  Steve sends them what is the most unbelievable thing.  My advice to anyone in this situation, direct the Coroner to your doctor and stay away.  But not knowing any of this Steve types a short, one page email about things he worried about in Morgan’s life.  I was trusting Steve with this email, like I was trusting the doctor who had our daughters body in his care.

 

Colorado FlowersI was up and certain that if I pushed forward hard enough I would get through this.  I wandered out from the room and arrivals from last night had the house in complete control.  I had coffee and cried, because as bustling as the house was it was just a little too quiet.  Flowers and cards lined the bar top and for a moment I wanted to gather them all up and deposit them in the garage.  Instead I began to read them,  Even on the first day there were so many squarely behind Morgan and us, and they promised to be forever.

Steve came out and said he was done, leaving for the airport shortly and wanted me to go with him.  I was voted down and stayed home while Steve went with our older daughter.  It was a different world that day, hard to really explain to anyone just what it was like.  So many thoughts, questions, unknowns, it would be days before my compass got even close to the right direction for me.  Our sister-in-law and our oldest daughter were answering the front door and receiving such wonderful gifts of food from our neighbors – they were all so sad and wanted to help.

As more and more arrived it seemed at first like old times, the stories, the wonder, and the memories.  But then it wasn’t old times at all, it was new times, the horribly sad new times where family and old friends share death.

Morgan’s stalker was hardly mentioned at all when he should have been talked about copiously.  He was still lurking in the shadows of this which he had wrought, and even though we knew his name well – it was not mentioned at all.  Morgan was all that was on every mind there and she was the driving force for the unabated outpouring of love and wishes, and I think that is really how it should have been right then.  There would be plenty of time for the stalker later, after all, it was still a mystery according to law enforcement.

Morgan’s bedroom door still had its piece of police crime scene tape on it and I called the detectives about it.  At first we were told if we could leave it for two weeks that would be good, but now if we needed to go in we could. That day I did not, Steve wanted me to spend a day without thinking of her room and I did.  With everything that was going on I had little time to wonder, what it would look like after an investigation, what it would feel like knowing she was gone.  The kitchen had become the center of the world and for the next day I spent as much time right there as I could.

There was so much love, so much friendship, so much hugging and remembering.  Her friends came, our friends came.  So many came to help us fill an impossible void in our life – that void is still ever so tender, but I will always remember the endless efforts to try and soften the blow amid the endless arrivals and departures of Morgan’s dear sweet friends.

A very close friend of mine bustled in after noon and dragged me to a quiet corner, her words registered, but not fully, and certainly not right away.  She had just gotten off the phone with another of her friends and drove straight to our house to tell me herself.  I thought I realized the importance, but until I told Steve I guess I had not.

This friend of hers had listened to her voice message machine from someone on our street the day before.  The message started about their business meeting needing to be cancelled for the day, and then very excitedly moved to the reason.  He said there was crime scene tape around his neighbors house, the girl living in the house was being stalked, and he had to stay because of the situation.  But he knew who they thought the stalker was, and who he really was.

Steve was wide eyed as I told him, Morgan was dead, but at least ending the stalkers unimpeded rein was a start.  Detective Rob was contacted immediately.  And for the moment we kept the recent revelation to ourselves.  There were far more important tasks for Morgan.  Her viewing, her cremation (I had to remember to ask the Detective if we should do that or not in this case), and then her memorial, that alone would consume the next few days.

Steve had turned off all surveillance of the house after Morgan’s death because, as he put it, there is no more Morgan so there will be no more stalker,  But now he had a different feeling and turned it all back on.  Our visitors all had there own theories of what had happened and how to get to the bottom of it.  So in the middle of preparations for a memorial for my little angel there was also our own version of the first 48 hours taking place.

Morgan was so very special and also so very loved, she would not be taken from us without answers.  And we were still all patiently, silently, all awaiting answers.

Further following up on Friday’s post here is another link to a story on the two young boys who died, and shared the same pathologist as Morgan did.

 More on the Jensen Boys 

There are some statements from Dr. Kurtzman that ring from Morgan’s investigation and the continual assurances that any new evidence would be taken seriously that really troubles me.  The shortcomings of Morgan’s investigation, and the Pathologist being repeated would become very troublesome.

December 2, 2011 – Day One of Morgan’s Investigation – The Crime Scene

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Morgan at Disneyland - just before she came home to her stalking.

Morgan at Disneyland – just before she came home to her stalking.

 If you haven’t already – please click on the blog link below, “Do parents cover for their children – even when they murder?  Keenan, as well as both his parents, and stepfather, and others have gone on to LIE about where he was the night of December 2, 2011…why?  His story keeps changing. At first he told others that he was out of state – but now we have his work hours from the police report, so we know that was a lie.  Then he has said he was at work when she died – another lie.  Morgan’s body shows she was murdered BEFORE he got to work at 2:00 am in the morning on the 2nd.  He says he has proof he worked that night because the City Market cameras show he was at work…another twist of the truth.  I am sure the cameras show him at work after 2:00 am, but not before…so there goes his alibi.  Ask yourself – why would an innocent person have to change their story over and over again, and have others lie for him as well?

Do parents cover for their children – even when they murder?

Now back to the morning of December 2, 2011.  First the EMT’s arrived at our house, but they could not save Morgan.  She had been dead too long.  Just before 7 am a sheriff’s deputy parked his truck in front of our driveway and blocked off our house. The 1st responding ambulance is long gone and by 7 am there is a single piece of yellow crime scene tape stretched from the corner of the garage to a tree across the driveway.

My son Ryan arrives at 7:20 am and we are all in our house as more Garfield County sheriff’s officers arrive.  The mood is somber while some are slightly frenetic, especially the Deputy collecting pill bottles.  He is following Steve and wanting one bottle at a time, which he takes, leaves with, and then sometimes returns with and sometimes does not.

Later we will learn that Steve should have taken more control.  In the end result of what they did – I have yet to see anything that is actually correct in a police report.  If I were advising someone today I would tell them that you sit down with the person in charge and tell them, one by one, who her doctors are, the phone numbers, and the medication they prescribe, maybe current conditions going on, but that is it, stop there.

That morning there was not really one person in charge.  It was haphazard and disorganized at best.  Different people came asking different questions and the amount of information exchanged was really quite small.  I wanted answers, Steve wanted answers, anything.  But they had no answers and to say they sort of avoided us was probably the most accurate description.

Just as well because shock is a term with many meanings and many degrees, but if your child has just been found dead unexpectedly you are in shock and no matter how bad or how little, it is not the best time to be going over all of the very important details to be gone over.  Nobody really asked any of us much about anything, but then they never asked us later either.

After about twenty minutes it was time for us to leave anyway.  Our house was a “crime scene” and it had to be “processed”.  You nod at words like these at the time but, at least for me, the true significance does not come for quite a while.

So we all exited our house and left the Sheriffs department to their job.

Unfortunately for Morgan, it was all wrong. Towards the end of 2012 I had a conversation with a retired Sheriff who headed up another Sheriffs department here in the valley and he shared some thoughts about that morning with me.  Setting the tone was his opinion that we aren’t, “like the big cities”,  that there really isn’t a single person qualified to really process a homicide scene here.  But there is a solution for that, the CBI, the Colorado Bureau of Investigation.  They exist for situations like this.  A sudden, suspicious death during an active felony stalking investigation?  For him the house should have been closed up and they should have been called.  But they were not.  Instead we had the Sheriffs department, which would be fine if there were officers qualified in processing homicide scenes.  I watched them conducting the “investigation” on video recently, they didn’t even wear booties or gloves during their “investigation”.  There were no sheets or pillow cases taken, there was no evidence taken, there was no rape kit.  There might as well have been no investigation at all, snap a few pictures and call it a day.  Sorry Morgan, but at this point I feel this is what happened back then.  At the time I believed, I had the highest hopes for only the truth.  That is what I worked toward and felt so strongly that at the very least Morgan deserved at least that, the truth.

Morgan’s H.I.P.A.A. privacy rights have been so completely ignored in this investigation and while I certainly don’t think I should have to, I do feel the need to at least try to get the facts straightened out.  Morgan took NO prescription medications at the time of her death.  Now remember- the toxicology report will tell about more than just the last 24 hours for most prescription medications, it could be as little as 48 hours, averaging up to 4-8 days and in some cases 14 days or more, depending on the medication or drug.  Common drugs of abuse will be less, but for regularly taken prescription medications these are the time frames I have been given.  So on Morgan’s 1st toxicology report, which is available all over the web, the girl who doesn’t take drugs, surprise, surprise, her BLOOD levels were zero on everything except amitriptyline. And on her second toxicology test the total volume is not known so actual amounts can’t be calculated.  However the presence of amitriptyline along with four other common date rape drugs are detected.  And of course in the entire course of this investigation the container that held this concoction of five date rape drugs is not found.  Disappeared.  If you think, how can this be?  Steve and I wake up every morning and ask ourselves that very question.

On Morgan’s second toxicology test the suspicions of foul play should have grown, instead they disappeared.  Another fact I should not have to be giving out, but feel in the face of all of the misinformation so far I have little choice – Morgan had not taken amitriptyline for over 18 months at the time of her death.  Steve and I checked with all of her doctors to see if she had ever requested a prescription for the drug on her own.  On the contrary she indicated an avoidance of taking any drugs, which is what she always told us.  Steve and I also checked with the local pharmacies and no hidden Morgan Ingram accounts.  On a last note for all those who are so sure they know already, the greatest dosage of amitriptyline is 300mg per day.  Dr. Kurtzman estimated she took 18 – 25mg pills, for a total of 450mg, which is NOT even a fatal dose.

We were allowed back to the house around 10:45 am to see Morgan one last time.  Steve went but I stayed behind, I had already seen my daughter for the last time.  By 11:00 am the crime scene tape was down and if you didn’t know what had happen this morning, driving by you would be none the wiser.  How quickly it all happened, last night we had my little angel, a beautiful, intelligent, unstoppable daughter – with a stalker, a small group of stalkers to be more precise.  And this morning – we didn’t, it was that fast and that complete.

Morgan’s investigation had yielded little so far. There was no sign of forced entry, no foul play, and no sign of suicide.  It was, for the time being, a mystery.  But we would get answers, Steve and I were assured.  It would take some time, but we would have answers.  I took that as reassuring.

Morgan’s door has a short piece of crime scene tape over it.  We assume we aren’t supposed to go in,

Following up on yesterday’s post here is a link to a story on the two young boys who died.

http://www.gjsentinel.com/news/articles/heat-caused-deaths-of-jensen-boys

The article pretty much sums up the same issue that Morgan’s case began with, the manner of death for the boys was accidental and required no further investigation while Morgan’s manner of death was natural causes also requiring no further investigation.  We believed that because we had no reason to question it, the reason to question would come later, during a trip to California.  For the Jenson boys the questions came much sooner, from the District Attorney, quickly wielding an arrest warrant.

The Jensen boys had the same Forensic Pathologist that performed Morgan’s autopsy, but a different District Attorney.  The District Attorney representing Morgan, we have been told, had a closed door meeting on October 5, 2012.  And he arrived at the conclusion that it was just bad blood between Dr. Kurtzman and Dr. Doberson, no need to open a case at all.

Too bad Steve and I weren’t invited to the meeting, we could have at least told him that it wasn’t Dr. Dobersen that was the first one to tell us Morgan’s manner of death was not Natural Causes.  It was only after Dr. Kurtzman grew angry with the doctors from UCLA and insisted we get a second opinion from a forensic pathologist in Colorado that we found Dr. Dobersen through Howard of the non-profit FOHVAMP out of Denver.  Dr. Dobersen had never seen Morgan or treated her when she was alive, but he was able to review and verify most of the opinions being forwarded so far.  We are very grateful for the time he has taken out of his schedule for Morgan.  But bad blood?  No – Morgan deserves a little better than that.

Giving thanks to all of you that have helped and letting you know what is still to come. Stalkers beware – we will make changes!

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9599009-pumaWhen I started the blog called Morgan’s Stalking I really had no idea what to expect. How could I? It was at the most unimaginable time, trying to express the most unimaginable thing. One thing has not changed – and never will. Morgan is still my little angel. She is, without doubt, all of the good things that have been expressed about her since the beginning of this odyssey.

Now as Morgan’s Stalking becomes Morgan’s Investigation it is an appropriate time to take a quick look back, give thanks, and see what lies before us.

First to the people at WordPress, the software that allowed me to write a blog without even knowing what one was at the start, and without looking like too much of a klutz in the process, my first big THANK YOU. They sent a web page that told about Morgan’s blog. Things like:

  • About 55,000 tourists visit Liechtenstein every year. This blog was viewed about 4,000,000 times in 2012. If it were Liechtenstein, it would take about 73 years for that many people to see it. Your blog had 73 times more visits than a small country in Europe!
  • In 2012, there were 320 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 327 posts. I’m not sure where the other 7 posts came from but you now how computers are, give them a few numbers and . . .
  • The most popular post was “One year ago today Morgan’s stalking started”.
  • Most visitors came from The United States, with Canada in 2nd & Australia 3rd, counting everyone there were 117 countries in all!

Things that tell me the story of Morgan’s stalking is making a difference in more ways than I could have ever imagined when I began. She is in so many hearts, in so many places, helping so many people – and she has just begun.

All of you reading, and commenting, and sharing. Of course some of you go far beyond that but without naming names I trust that you all know who you are, if not I promise to do a better job this year and THANK YOU ALL.

Our grief counselor who has been such a steadying rock for me all year, our promotional guru who somehow manages to speed up when the time is right, and slow way down when I need it. The very very esteemed medical professionals from coast to coast and right here in Colorado who have volunteered their efforts on Morgan’s behalf. To those who helped fund the Morgan Ingram Scholarship fund. And for all of you who have so generously donated to Morgan Ingram’s Benefit Fund – Thank you all more than the mere words can ever express, please realize you are helping Morgan help the victims of stalking every day.
Now, about stalking, I have said many times in many ways how this word went from meaning nothing to meaning everything. How on one warm calm summer afternoon we were not the victims of stalking and in the next instant we were.

Looking forward this last year I have learned more about stalking than I ever could have known existed. I also have something to add – stalking is not just a crime, it is at the root of almost all crime. You can call it whatever you want, stalking, observing, recon, even call it surveilling, its all the same, it is stalking. I say this for one simple reason. There are laws written against stalking in all states, but laws against observing, or surveilling? Doubtful.

Predators like mountain lions wait and watch undetected in the tree line watching for the perfect moment to strike.  What if almost all of the crimes against humanity start with stalking? Burglary, rape, murder, peeping toms, grand theft auto, first the perpetrator stalks the prey, the victim, the house, the auto, the bank, the young child in the playground, then comes the act, the second part of the crime. It is not just a play on words, it is what happens.

The difference is that up until now the crime started with the theft, or the stabbing, or name your poison. But what if we back up a step and take the stalking more seriously? I will believe forever that Morgan’s murder began with her stalking. That if the stalkers were caught, there might not have been a murder. If the criminal surveilling the children in the playground was confronted, maybe the child left there just a few minutes too long would not have disappeared.

A reader of this blog told a story of how her husband confronted a stranger at their son’s game. A stranger nobody recognized standing all alone across the field. Asked him who he was, and that one question made him turn and run. Suspicious, you bet.

I am very mindful of the fact that we can’t live in fear, but we can be aware. Safety is not a given, it comes with requirements. Just look at all of the tragedies of the past year. Maybe it’s just me, but there seems to be more, and far more deadly every day. So many, we as a nation, and a world find ourselves searching for an answer.

Here is my suggestion, start with taking stalking seriously. If our Law Enforcement is hopeless against catching stalkers, what comes next? I’ve lived it and trust me, it’s not good. This year I will focus on Morgan’s investigation from the morning her body was found, and also revisit a few incidents from her stalking that have had a whole lot of new light shined on them.

More truth, won’t that be a bummer for those working so hard to discredit what anyone has to say about Morgan, even though it happens to be true.

Also I am far more committed to Morgan’s legacy. As in Morgan did not commit suicide. She has an ever growing army of professionals all agreeing that that is not what happened here. In case you keep up with the news and have heard about the horrible deaths of those two young children who were left in an idling car for too long, one dying on the scene and the other a short time later. If any of you have wondered, Morgan lived in Colorado, those two children lived in Colorado. Could the same Forensic Pathologist, Dr. Kurtzman, who found Morgan, first having died of natural causes from a medical condition she did not have, with a level of prescription medications she did not even take, registering in the stratosphere. Then months later, as more and more experts sounded alarms at the massive dose she had in her body, he called it insignificant. Then 9 months later he changes his mind and changes her manner of death from natural causes to suicide, based on “the amount consumed is consistent with deliberate intoxication”. So eighteen pills is consistent with a suicide? Eighteen pills of a medication she did not take? With a little cyclobenzaprine, which she never took in her life, thrown is for good measure. When an esteemed Forensic Pharmacologist has advised on Morgan’s case that estimating the number of pills taken is impossible, oh, and he did have far more questions about other aspects of her case, but that will have to wait for just a little bit. So to the point, the same Dr. Kurtzman was the pathologist for those two children. Google it, and decide for yourself.

Day one of Morgan’s investigation is next up.

December 2, 2011 – Day 123 – The end of Morgan’s Stalking

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Morgan's Sunrise

Morgan’s Sunrise

Our neighbor Mark pulled in next door a few minutes after midnight. He looks at our house, and sees Morgan’s lights are off. One of my nieces can’t sleep without the TV on. For others it may be a bedside light, or even just the soft glow of a nightlight. But Morgan liked no lights on at all, so what Mark saw was the norm.

Another deputy patrol of the neighborhood happened at 1:21 AM. This was the drive right through patrol, it took 35 seconds to loop the end of the street, and drive back by – no stopping, no shining their spot light. The second patrol of the early morning came by at 2:44 am. This time there was a complete stop between our house and our next door neighbor Rhonda’s,  a searchlight flooding our roof, this patrol took closer to one minute to make the loop, and do a visual of the roof. Why did they think to check the roof with their light? We never knew about the roof until months after Morgan’s death.

For almost exactly an hour it all looked quiet, then the motion detector light on the corner of the garage goes on. For the one and only time during the lifetime of the video surveillance of our house a young deer, a fawn walks, and then trots by Morgan’s window.

Mark came out to warm up his car just before 4:30 AM and he notices something, Morgan’s bathroom light is on. This was out of character, Morgan was not an early riser. Mark drives off at 4:36 AM.

Steve remembers getting out of bed after 5:30 AM. He has been awake for a while and decides to make it official. He makes coffee and sits at the kitchen table reading over some floor plans. His current project is at the state where no mistakes comes with an explanation mark, and he reviews the details. I lie awake before 6:00 AM but the smell of Steve’s coffee is too much, I get up, pull on a fuzzy, warm robe and join him in the kitchen for just a second, I then had a thought pass through my mind, why hasn’t Morgan woken me up yet to take out her puppy?

Across the valley, Scott, a very good family friend woke up much earlier than usual. He looked outside, and found something extra special in this mornings sunrise. So he grabbed a camera that was on the table behind him, and went outside to capture it. He presented us with the photo of the sunrise coming up from Aspen as it came up over the mountains clearly showing here comes the snow – months later, safely mounted in a very special frame he made he gave it to us – it was the sunrise on the morning that we found Morgan dead.

Steve is engrossed in his plans, and as Morgan has not called me yet to take Wylah out, I just go to take her out. When I enter Morgan’s room I notice her bathroom light is on and the puppy and cat are both in the bathroom looking bewildered, a something is not right sensation comes over me, and I see what I think has caused it. Wylah has had an accident on the floor. I immediately called her, and took her out to the backyard, as I had every single morning since Morgan was shocked into retreat by her stalker after he showed up in our yard only 10 feet from Morgan. I thought of how fearful she felt that morning, as I scanned the yard for anything that looked out of place, while Wylah did her morning potty thing out in the back yard. So many times I had wanted him to be here, I wanted him to challenge me, and I wanted to take him down.

Wylah seemed apprehensive this morning, and took extra time to find the perfect spot to complete her business, and then she was quick to get back inside. She would usually sleep after she went potty until Morgan woke up, and now I brought her back to Morgan’s room. Wylah hopped on her mom’s bed, and looked at me. The oddness was growing, Morgan would have thanked me for taking her out, but she had not. And now I was expecting to hear words from our daughter before I went to join Steve for some coffee and some breakfast. There were no words.

So I asked her, “Aren’t you going to say thanks for cleaning Wylah’s accident, and taking her out Morgan?”

There was still no response. I looked again and it was all very odd. Morgan was over here, when she always slept over there. Her position didn’t even look right, The blankets, her nightstand, the floor, as it all began to grasp me, but I shook it off. Touching her on the shoulder she felt warm, even though her shoulder had not been covered up. Morgan was usually a burrow under the covers sleeper, and there was not a hint of burrow here. I shook her shoulder gently so as not to startle her, and said her name in a question.

Again she made no noise and right then I needed Steve. Like those times when daddy makes the crying stop, right now daddy was going to wake her up – he had to. I left her bedroom door open and quickly went toward the kitchen and yelled for Steve. He sensed it immediately and was up and walking quickly towards me as I turned the corner.

“Something’s wrong, Morgan won’t wake up. I told him, and he did not accompany me back to the room, he ran past me and was kneeling on her bed at her side by the time I got there. He was shaking, then shaking more. Then his words were “Oh no, Oh no, in a tone of disbelief.

“Call 911, NOW.” – those are words I will never forget. I was frozen in place and had not moved when Steve rolled Morgan onto her back, and her eyes, oh her beautiful eyes, Morgan’s soft pools of blue that held such happiness, and wonder for twenty years seemed to be grotesquely stretched in irregular shapes up her face, and turned to a shiny dark color. As if she had just become possessed – they were wide open, and a bolt of goodness was needed to be shot into her to return Morgan to Morgan.

Steve had started CPR and was counting out loud, he repeated the NOW of my instructions. The room could have spun, but seemed to be only starting to spin and then stopping. I was across the hall in my office dialing the numbers and I could hear Steve’s counting, over and over again. Then I heard him scream, “Morgan take my breath, breathe!”

I was connected to 911 emergency, but the nature of my emergency was unimaginable to try to explain. We needed help, fast… they were coming. I told Steve they were on the way, but he could not hear me. He was screaming for Morgan. I could hear his words, but I would not let myself understand his words.

The 911 operator told me that we needed to get her onto something firm, the floor, so I ran back into Morgan’s room and helped Steve move her. I saw my daughter’s face and in a quick flash it looked blue, I could not bear to look at her eyes so I looked down to the floor at her feet, and grasped her ankles to feel her warmth. Steve continued CPR – he wanted to help her breathe, and I heard him say “oh no” again. I looked at him and he looked back at me, he wanted to say something, instead he shook his head and told me to move my car, to get it out of the driveway so the ambulance could pull right up to the door.

It was dead quiet as I ran outside. There was no one on the street, and I raced back down the driveway and swung the car in front of the garage and out into the street. As I ran back to the front door I saw them – men searching, waving flashlights, dressed in thick overalls, and carrying all kinds of devices. My arms were crossing over my head as I waved and yelled for them to all come this direction.

The recognition and movement was instant, it seemed like a small army coming from every direction, descending on our front door. “She’s in here”, I kept repeating and they did not pause to acknowledge, just rushed by me. They already knew what to do and were in her room in an instant. Steve was leaving Morgan’s room as I came in and Wylah sat on her bed, never making a sound just staring quietly as the men came in Morgan’s room.

Steve and I clutched at each other in the foyer, as we backed toward my office door. I wanted a do over, I wanted to do this all over. I said to myself, “This is all a bad dream, I will wake up any time now and this won’t be happening.” This was not supposed to be how it ended, not by a long-shot  I can’t remember if I said it out loud or only thought it. I wanted a do-over so I could take her far, far away from all this horrible stuff.

The first responders are were asking about Carbon Monoxide. It was so cruel to flash on memories of the exposure she suffered through years ago, how much it had hobbled her, and how she had completely recovered.

Morgan lay lifeless on her bedroom floor now, the thoughts of how and why would come later, only that she no longer with us was what mattered to us. Sometime ago Steve and I had come to realize that our baby girl was no longer with us. The responders brought new hope with their urgency, but they were now slowing to the reality that there was nothing they could do, whispering to each other in very hushed tones. Bringing all of the devices back out to their trucks.

We were both in shock – we didn’t know what to do – Steve started making calls, just the ones he had to tell straight away (how do you tell her brother and sister who loved her more than anything that she was dead?), then he went to the living room and sat on the couch just staring at the wall. The rest could wait until later. I would make some calls myself, but it would not be until much later – I wanted to be alone with my thoughts for awhile.

Mothers have connections with their children, and share bonds not easily understood. Mothers were not meant to say goodbye like this to their children. Yet I stood in the entry of our house and I stared at what was only her body now. I knew that Morgan was gone, and that in itself was a comfort to me, no one could hurt her. Later I would wonder what she had really been through and how much she had been made to suffer. And I knew that for today it would be a matter of making the magnitude of this singular event have the meaning it deserved. At this time I trusted those moving about and carrying out their tasks. We were asked to leave our house and we did.

Her stalker was somewhere else. Chatter about the death of Morgan Ingram was the morning news, and I am sure that those involved leaned in to be sure nobody was talking about them. That would come over the course of time, following the realization, and deduction of many, many experts. Law enforcement that were involved in her death scene assured us that there was no sign of forced entry, no sign of a struggle, no sign of suicide, no sign of sexual assault…and we believed them. They never took fingerprints, they didn’t collect any evidence, only items that belonged to Morgan. They said we now had to wait for the autopsy – when that was completed and the forensic pathologist could find nothing wrong with her that would cause her death, he said we had to wait for the toxicology results. They came back about 4 weeks later with no sign of alcohol, no sign of any illegal drugs and her manner of death was now called “natural.”  We asked how could that be?  Morgan was a healthy 20 year old.

Whatever Steve and I thought at that moment on that morning, it was all about to change. In the most irrevocable and illuminating way. . .

Today is December 13, 2012 – We moved from that house within a month, we were in shock, the both of us not properly processing what had, and what was happening.

Over the next nine months, what was declared a mystery that day, would only become more mysterious:

  • We would discovered all of her expensive jewelry was missing – gone.
  • We would discover the PJ’s she was wearing when Steve said good night to her were also missing – gone.
  • We would discover her panic button had been torn from its secure mounting spot on her nightstand, and was hidden on the floor under some clothes.
  • We would discover she died not from natural causes, with an insignificant amount of amitriptyline as the forensic pathologist Dr. Kurtzman had told us, but from a massive dose of amitriptyline. An amount that she could not have possibly ingested herself because a person her size would have died from only on tenth that amount.
  • We would discover that there were other drugs not shown on the first tox screen in her stomach, 5 total.  The amitriptyline on the first tox was a lethal concentration – the rest were not in amounts that would have been lethal, but every one of them were listed on the lab’s Sexual Assault Panel.  So at the time of Morgan’s murder she had an active felony stalking case being investigated by the Garfield County sheriffs and the only things found in her body were all date rape drugs found on the Sexual Assault panel at the lab…and yet we were being told she wasn’t a homicide.
  • We would discover she had wounds consistent with defensive wounds on her body, and the coroner and pathologist would refuse to release the photographs for study by others.
  • We would discover that many, many aspects of her room were consistent with a struggle having taken place.
  • We would discover the hour that she most likely died, and why that was so important for an investigation.
  • We would discover that the container needed to hold the date rape cocktail has never been recovered, in her room, or elsewhere.
  • We would discover her body was dressed in a third set of clothing, not what she wore home that night, and not the PJ’s she wore when she went to sleep.
  • We would discover that a journal of hers was missing from her room, gone.  And it was not the journal listed in evidence.
  • We would discover her upper chest was covered in a fine spray of bodily fluids, consistent with Morgan attempting to spit or sneeze out a date rape cocktail she had been forced to ingest, or the remnants of a sexual assault, as these “spots” showed up under the UV light and were bodily fluids .
  • We discovered Morgan had a red spot on her right temple (consistent with a thumb restraining her head while a hand was over her mouth), and something red (blood?), as was on her swollen lip.
  • We would discover the knife Morgan asked her dad to buy for her protection the night before, was lying in her bed right next to her body, in the original box it had been purchased in.
  • We would discover that even though it was a “mystery” and a majority of stalking victims in these circumstances would be raped, and when found her pants were unzipped & unbuttoned, there was no rape kit administered at her autopsy. That the only way to know if she had been raped as a part of her ordeal is forever lost.
  • We would discover that the steel gutter directly over her window was torn into two pieces, consistent with her stalker lying on the roof and leaning over to see inside her room through her upper window, and it would never be officially photographed or otherwise examined forensically.
  • We would discover that the observant neighbor who reported her light being off and on at strange times indicating suspicious behavior was never interviewed as a part of the investigation.
  • We discovered no potential evidence from the death scene, save the clothes she was wearing, were ever collected.
  • And then we learned from a long time local investigator that years earlier the pathologist that did Morgan’s autopsy had once examined a body pulled from the Roaring Fork River and declared the person died from an accidental drowning…later on the body was exhumed and a bullet was documented to have been lodged in the skull – how could he have missed that?

Morgan’s stalking ended with her death. The interviews and collection of evidence planned for her that very next week were cancelled in view of her death.

The most important part of a mysterious unnatural death is the investigation that follows. The dignity and honor of the deceased rest with how thorough and complete that investigation into the death is.  Morgan deserves for her death to have an investigation, and it most certainly did not, as the blog shall shift from the stalker to the investigation of her death, and the answer of just who or how many were in her room that night. Because it is obvious that Morgan alone could not possibly have done what is documented to have happened on the 123rd and last day of her stalking.