Author Archives: Toni

Questioning the Motives of Morgan’s stalker

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Morgan on her birthday hammock … she loved hammocks – it was the last birthday present we ever bought her, and she never got to use it because the stalkers presence started 14 days before her 20th birthday.  She was all smiles though – maybe thinking about the next summer (that was never to be) when she could use her hammock and lie under the stars at night.

Morgansbirthday hammockIn the early days of Morgan’s stalking there were few clues, but they all pointed to one thing when we look back.  Footprints at the windows, and a Deputy that identified human “scuff marks” made by two feet at her bedroom window, indicating he had been there a long time.  At the two bathroom windows, Morgan’s and then the bathroom she switched to after finding the first foots prints outside her bathroom window there were singular footprints, pictures of which Steve took, but castings, no, not for a misdemeanor crime .

Three specific windows that held something in common that are one of those things you just don’t want to think about, but then eventually you have to.  Morgan was very likely to be caught bathing or changing clothes from the vantage points chosen. One of the worst invasions of privacy for a woman.

But then when I back up, it gets far worse.  The summer before in the subdivision across the county road there were five incidents of tapping on windows.  I don’t know which windows, but that does not sound like a stalker to me.  A stalker by definition focuses his hugely unwanted attention on one victim.  Very often has a fantasy filled with an imaginary, sickly twisted, relationship with one victim.

Not the same as when the culprit is tapping on the windows of five different houses, quite a different type of sick twisted beast then.  A peeping tom, a pervert, a criminal who crosses a line never meant to be crossed.  Colorado updated laws a little over a year before Morgan’s stalking began, plenty of time for local law to come up to speed.

A family had been on vacation in the state and staying at a hotel.  A pervert peeping tom had a video set up in the next room and was watching them.  They don’t say how, but he was caught, and to the shock and dismay of the violated family, the best that could be done was charge to charge the pervert with a misdemeanor crime.  Kind of like the first 58 days of Morgan’s Stalking when the best they could do was to charge her stalker with a misdemeanor crime when hey caught him so this somehow justified for lax rules to be in place, when Morgan’s terror started it was merely a misdemeanor, no big deal.  And her tormentor was just a petty criminal, but you see that is not all he was, and I do not mean that in the positive sense, in any possible way.

So when the law was brought up to date back in 2010, Invasion of Privacy for Sexual Gratification, either by directly seeing or recording by camera of any kind went to a felony, as it well should be.  And when the perpetrator is checking out five different houses, that is not a confused stalker who forgot the address of the next victim to fixate on, that was invading privacy for sexual gratification, period!  And when Morgan’s pervert showed up at the three places you were most likely to catch her bathing or changing, this piece of work was doing the same exact thing.

MISTAKE – let Law Enforcement tell you the laws being broken, NO.  Find out every law being broken and insist on the perpetrator being investigated and actively pursued for every crime being committed, every single one.

The crime of Invasion of Privacy for Sexual Gratification was never leveled at Morgan’s perpetrator.  Never even brought up as a possibility actually.  Yet it should have, because there is little other explanation for his actions.  The true sexual nature of the crimes being perpetrated against Morgan became less clear and more muddied as he moved to “testing the defenses”, showing her and her parents that he could come and go whenever he wanted, and showing how fearless he was of law enforcement.  No fear at all, quite the opposite actually, I often told the Deputies how embolden he became after they had come and tried to “catch” him.  To call what we actually did to catch this creep any more than a leisurely stroll around the house with a flashlight is generous.  That according to reports they sometimes patrolled outward into neighboring areas in hopes of catching someone really has me shaking my head.

Detective Robert Glassmire told me that if we were to find a piece of Morgan’s missing jewelry in K.V.G.’s room he could just say someone gave it to him, so it meant nothing.  Or if we found a unique blade on the ground that was used by the grocery store he worked at, we don’t know when it ended up there, so it means nothing.  And if someone lies to the Detective Morgan is counting on to save her, there is nothing the detective can do about it.

Then why in the world patrol outlying neighborhoods, when, even if you did see someone, and, even if you chased down that someone, and even if you caught them, they could just say, naaa I was never by the Ingram’s, Morgan who? And then… there would be nothing that could done about it.

Sort of makes you feel unprotected doesn’t it?  Like for all their trucks and lights and guns and tasers, they really can’t do anything, can they?  Somehow I don’t think that is true.  If Morgan were here right now, I would not know how to explain to her how horribly Steve and I and the Sheriff’s failed her.  But I don’t think that is how it really is supposed to work.  Not for one second!

I miss my child so much – some people can’t understand what she was like, because they never knew her – others that knew her know all too well that she truly was, one-of-a kind.  I don’t believe she was the only 20 year old in the world that was so loving and so caring, so many others are too – it’s just not something you go around talking about.  I don’t think she was the only 20 year old that loved doing “road trips” with her parents, many times she would bring her friends along, almost just to prove how much fun her parents were, and they would laugh and say how much fun they had, and what a “crack up” Steve and I were.  Actually the secret is that we enjoyed all of them just as much as they professed to have enjoyed us.

Morgan used to tell me I was her best friend (which to me was rather shocking), but now I have had emails from other 20 year olds that tell me they feel the same way about their mom, and they have the same kind of relationship, and they actually feel sorry for others that do not.  Isn’t that great news for the world!  Morgan loved to sit on the couch and watch the Gilmore Girls with me – don’t know if you have ever seen it but it’s really cute, it’s about a single mom and her daughter and they are best friends.  But here is the thing, if your family is not like that then I guess you just tend to think families that are that close are just fooling…well guess what, they are not, we are not, and that’s why it hurts so much every single day that we know we will never see Morgan again in this world.  I should be angry, I have every single right to be angry, and I am.  I should be full of hate, but that, I am not, because you see, Morgan taught me many things over her short lifetime and that was one of the bigger lessons this daughter taught her mom.  Yes, I want to get justice for Morgan, yes I want to get this sick predator off the streets so this can’t happen to another innocent girl, and her family.  But at the same time I have learned I can do this through love, and faith, and that is what Morgan would want most out of me… and that, is exactly what she is getting.

Have You Ever Wondered?

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I have wondered, many times now, especially since Morgan’s death.  Has he ever done this before?  I think back to the days when we weren’t supposed to tell anyone anything, and have yet to find a benefit in the idea.  Then there was in the first two responding officers who remembered very clearly incidents in a nearby subdivision, very similar incidents, which ended with an eyewitness, and a description, and a chase by barking hounds.  Actually I’m only guessing they were barking, because they always do that on TV, but I suppose they could be very quiet as they track their prey.  I wonder if it scared him, knowing he was being tracked by dogs?  If he’s even capable of fear.

It was quite a few incidents, five that they recalled being called in, all the same summer – the summer of 2010, the summer before Morgan’s stalking began. They thought that Morgan’s stalking might end at the end of summer too, because maybe he was a seasonal stalker.

MISTAKE, thinking even in the most minuscule way your stalking will magically end one day all by itself, how convenient, as if the meter suddenly runs out and the game is over.  Always have a plan or two to end your stalking, and if it doesn’t work, find another one, your life just might depend on it.

I ran these incidents by our Detective and he was evasive, and uninterested.  A reaction I would now interpret as not wanting to talk about it. But I pressed the point and I did get an  answer.  It was just kids stealing stereos out of cars.  I thought, wow, someone’s got it a little wrong here.  Not one, but many people mistaking tapping on their windows for the stereo missing from Mom’s or Dad’s vehicle?  And how did they end up chasing a young white male in a hoodie with dogs, and was he dropping stereos along the way as they chased him?  Don’t think so.  Come on, that is the best you can do?

After I started the blog I received emails detailing similar events.  They had absolutely no reason to lie about such terrifying incidents, and I believe what I was told to be 100% true.  Some were reported, and some were not.  One reported incident was promised follow-up visits by the Sheriff, but that did not happen.  All had great similarities to elements of Morgan’s case.

What if it these were the crimes by the same person or persons?  If it was them it has spanned over four years.  Always a young white male, sometimes wearing a hoodie and sometimes dressed all in black.  This outfit seems to be for the up close, and personal encounter.

When I saw him on the porch he was wearing a hoodie.  When he surprised Morgan in the back yard he was the all in black look.  Both times, young while males.

I wrote once about something that needed fixing in the valley.  How traveling from Glenwood Springs to Aspen across nine different law enforcement agencies, that do not communicate incidents like this unless its an officer to officer call to inquire.  So eight phone calls to check the valley every single time, so in Garfield they just say no, unless it’s a murder case, and they know who the murderer is, and he is on the run, then its automatic.  I saw potential shortcomings in that system, and hope it will improve or I can help it to improve someday.  Only now all my wondering has led me to the conclusion that here in Garfield County a similar crime in a very confined area can go on for many years, and then Morgan’s Stalking began.  There was not one officer warning us that this was a serial situation, and it had just happened not far away.  Then after this blog was started I received an email from someone in that same subdivision that had had a similar situation happen only two weeks before Morgan’s began, it was reported to the Sheriff’s department and should have increased the importance to apprehend.  But we were never told about it and the Officers never mentioned that one to us.

No quite the opposite, don’t tell anyone and on day 58, yes that’s right, on day 58 a detective was assigned to the case, which meant it had a case number and evidence that could now be collected.  Does anyone out there think this approach was really going to catch this person, if it is the same person, who has been doing this for years?

I wonder if he has a lookout.  Not just from myself raising any possibility, but from having twice heard what is best referred to as a rumor.  It came in as a tip, but with no way to verify, only that it has come from two different sources.  The statement that “I don’t have to worry ‘cause someone’s got my back.”  From K.V.G.  It could mean a lot of different things, but to me it meant he had a lookout.  Might help to explain how he has actually been visually sighted very few times.

And what about motivation, to carry this on for years must definitely mean something, and thoughts like that have always been the motivation for the belief, or call it natural fear that I have that he is going to do it again, and when?

Wouldn’t it be nice?

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Morgan with her family

Morgan with her family

 

What if there could just be a joint effort to solve crime?  Everyone involved working toward a common goal – the truth.  Remember the truth, it doesn’t change, stands the test of time, is certainly beyond a shadow of a doubt, will always remain convincing, and to be a preponderance of the evidence, is easy for the truth.  I did not start Morgan’s blog to convince someone of MY truth. I wanted to share what I knew to be true, what I had been told by doctors and every expert that Steve and I have been referred to, good and bad its all in here somewhere.  Except of course for the few smoking guns I’ve been advised to withhold for the time being.

Wouldn’t it be nice if I were sharing all this with the Sheriff and the Coroner to clear up all the questions of Morgan’s case.  I would have like that, but instead I have received nothing but antagonistic responses the Sheriff  and Coroner the instant I had an opinion that differed from theirs.  I know better now, but I still think about how it would have been so so nice if the Sheriff and the Coroner had been actually interested in solving the death of Morgan, catching her stalker before he just does it again?  Bad guys behind bars, the valley a safer place. I have discovered the hard way that questioning anything they have concluded just causes an immediate and very serious case of ruffled feathers.  And why is that?  Wouldn’t it be nice if we were working together on a crime, I really thought it was happening at first and then all of a sudden it became an argument about who is right, and how nothing should ever be questioned, and that was on a good day.

I’m sure I have said this before but, always remember, it is not me and my opinion, it is an opinion of someone who should know that we have sought for their expertise.   An opinion I double check, and triple check and in the beginning I was so naïve I would just tell our Detective thinking he would welcome the truth with open arms.  I thought the contracted forensic pathologist would be open to medical expertise far more specialized with far more assets at their disposal to be called upon, but no, not in my experience.  Especially since Dr. Kurtzman (the forensic pathologist that did the autopsy) said on the first PER (where he put her manner of death as natural), “Due to an active stalking investigation at the time of this report, and the potential influence of stress, the manner of death may be reclassified if additional pertinent information becomes available.”  So we went about writing, calling and emailing Morgan’s doctor’s and experts in different medical fields to correspond with the forensic pathologist with their findings.  First there was the discussions about how his interpretation that the amitriptyline levels on the first toxicology results were ‘insignificant’  and completely dismissed as he concluded, “the absence of significant toxicology findings”.  Steve and I had so many experts write, try to call, try to email him that it was not insignificant, quite the opposite, and that their should be an investigation opened into her manner of death. He wanted the input at first, but I guess he feels he does not have to listen,  and he was not about to…no matter what he wrote on the first PER.  Now on the second PER (almost 9 months later) he wrote her manner of death as suicide, but stated in the report that, “if objective information is produced indication that the decedent was somehow forced against her will to consume an amitriptyline overdose and observed until incapacitated the manner of death may be reclassified as homicide.”  Well we now have objective information that will show that she did not inject herself with a lethal dose of Amitriptyline (enough to kill a horse) and was unable to give herself the other drugs that were in her gastric fluid when checked on the second PER because she would have been unable to that at that time…does that mean there would still have to be someone in the room watching this sick predator watch Morgan until she died in order for this to ever become a homicide in Dr. Kurtzman’s opinion?  We have come to wonder what is is he really is thinking.

I think everyone will agree, well almost all of us, that there are differences between the abilities of one person, and the abilities of another.  Say the crime lab in Garfield County and the FBI lab in Quantico.  I have never seen either one, but just based on what I hear and what seems logical the FBI lab in Quantico might be a little better, in fact I’m confident it is a lot better.  No slight on Garfield, just the way it is.  What about investigations?  Could there be a law enforcement unit with more expertise and resources than Garfield County?  Once again no slight on GarCo, just the way it is.  What if this law enforcement agency was not a federal agency in another state, but right here in Colorado?  They are called the CBI (Colorado Bureau of Investigation) and capable of a microscopic investigation of the crime scene instead of what Morgan had.  If all it took was a phone call, why would Garfield County Coroner’s or Sheriffs have not called in the CBI the morning that Morgan’s body was found?  Did they not care about my daughter?  Were they worried that if they collected real evidence like her sheets, pillow cases, used better equipment to scan, do a more thorough job that there would have been a different result?  My guess is there would have been a drastically different result. Not my opinion, but the opinion of those that do death scenes every day.  Now why didn’t they call them in?

Then I have one more burning question.  If one of these other’s Steve and I have involved with more resources and expertise wishes to point out a mistake, what is the problem with that?  On a conference call with the Forensic Pathologist he freely admitted not being very knowledgeable when it came to AIP a certain area of medical knowledgea  forensic pathologist really does not have much use for.  He said he rarely, if ever comes across it, in fact this was the first time.  He even suggested out on the coast in the bigger hospitals they might have a better understanding of AIP than he.  And was he ever right.  UCLA medical center has thousands of doctors all specializing and all sharing their knowledge to help.  What a concept.  Of course when they wanted to talk with Dr. Kurtzman about it, all of a sudden he is the expert, he is arguing with them.  How in the world does that help Morgan or anyone else get justice?  His ego is more important than the crime being solved?  And if the crime is not solved who loses out besides Morgan and her family?  The rest of Garfield County where there is still a predator at large.

When I hear about how things could have been conducted, or should have been conducted.  About how agencies right here in Colorado are equipped to do a better job, but were not even allowed.  It breaks my heart, every victim deserves the best we can give them.  And that is not what happens right now.

I read very recently that a group has been formed to explore ways the image of Colorado can be protected in the wake of all the National attention grabbing violence that has gone on in our state over the last year.  To me this is really one of those times when treating the cause and not the effect has never been more true.  Poor tactics, and an ego that could not accept help from others who did know, doomed my daughter.  Once a stalker and a person capable of murder entered her life the way they did, Morgan’s life was forever changed.  And sure we had choices that we did not implement, but the sad truth is until you do it and live out your life, you really don’t know if it worked or not.

The single most repeated piece of advice I have received about Morgan’s case is that she herself or all of us together should have moved out of the area.  And it really doesn’t bother me to be second guessed, it’s a good thing.  Only by exploring all the options will there be new solutions.  And I direct all of you who have not seen it to the stalking page of Morgan’s website.

Right above the picture of Wylah comfortably riding on Morgan’s shoulder is a three part story from Lifetime about a woman who was stalked for years through different states before she was finally gunned down by her stalker.  When that man came into her life, it was forever changed.  There is a very sad reason, a cause for her death, and we need a better way to treat it, because left to deal with the effect or ignoring the cause changes even more lives forever.  When it does not have to be like that.

December 30, 2011 – Day 29 of Morgan’s investigation – are there holes appearing?

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Morgan loved to write, it was without doubt her first passion.  Photography was climbing quickly, but was still a distant second.  When the detectives told me things right after Morgan’s death I might have not have fully absorbed what they were telling me.  I have been assured many times since then that this is normal.  But when a time came a few weeks after her death that I was told everything had been returned except her diary, that I remember.

The two individual pieces of information did not come together for a while, but as I was packing up Morgan’s room I came across her last diary, and even the one before that.  The last diary she was writing in I will never forget, because instead of keeping it to herself she had been sharing it with me.  It was her future plans, they were as bold and filled with love as Morgan was.  I clearly remembering how proud I was of her as she went over the latest diary entry with me.  What I would not give to see her be able to live out her plans, but no one can do that now. Only right the wrongs, for her and for so many others.

But there I was between Christmas and New Years remembering so vividly her last diary, and suddenly putting it together with the statement that they still had her diary.  What diary did they have?  It was not her last for sure, not even the one before.  I wondered if it was even Morgan’s at all.  She had been involved in a very personal situation with a close friend that had come to involve a diary that did not belong to Morgan, but she was entrusted with and I feared that it was this diary they were referring to.

I wished so much then that there had been more communication with the Coroner or the Sheriffs, but there had not been.  Nobody wanted to talk to us about anything!  They had not talked to any of her doctors, none of her teachers, close friends, and definitely not Steve or I.  There were things that simply could not be just guessed at and as a month had nearly passed since her death I was openly questioning where information about Morgan was coming from, because it was not from any source that would actually know.

And now to think that a diary that was not even Morgan’s could have been mistakenly taken as hers was upsetting to say the least.  The person who’s diary Morgan had was having personal issues.  I asked for the diary, was told they would get it to me, but was never given it back.  If it wasn’t one of Morgan’s I am sure once it is compared to her other diaries they will see the difference in the writing, but then again when will that happen  This is just one more thing that is still outstanding in this case from over a year ago.  On this day Steve and I went to see our grief  counselor again, she couldn’t understand why the communication from Garfield County had been so bad and she said to keep insisting that we get the diary back so we could see if it was hers or not.  We are still to this day trying to get it back.

Today, February 21, 2013 – I just opened up a drawer and came across another card that Morgan had made for me…after I stopped crying I smiled and decided I should share it with all of you.

The back of a Mother's day card Morgan made for Toni

The back of a Mother’s day card Morgan made for Toni

December 29 – Day 28 of Morgan’s Investigation – Not the instructions we wanted

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Today involved the Sheriffs department, but it was a different kind of a day as far as investigations go.  Today did not involve detectives, but the Volunteer Programs Coordinator instead.

He met with Steve and I at the house and gave us a book, we may have already had one, but you could never have too many.  It was a book about what to do now that a loved one is dead, starting with all the practical steps that need to be taken.  I guess as a month after a sudden death approaches it’s time for the survivors to get on with the process of life.

Back then and so many times since I have openly wondered how is it that during the stalking there was nothing.  No real direction, no real plan, certainly not a change in tactics that were yielding nothing.  But after she was dead, there was a book for that.

I didn’t know why or how, but at the time I had feelings that her stalking was directly related to her death.  Nobody on her case seemed to think so. For all of those others who had tried to somehow protect Morgan there seemed to be no doubt that her stalking and her death were in no way related.  While for me I always had a strong feeling that without the stalking Morgan would have never died.  Steve felt the same, we just did not have medical conclusions to back it up…yet.

So we were focused on completing everything that needed completing for Morgan, and it was not easy.

Our program coordinator was also very concerned that we be aware and understanding of our detectives, and possibly even others involved in Morgan’s case.  There was a fear that sometimes officers get too close to the victim, and react badly if they die.  This can really affect their performance in future cases, and can even lead to demotions, and become career ending.

The needed to give our detectives space, and be sure to expect less from them now was discussed.  At the time we had been told Morgan had died from natural causes so it wasn’t really making a lot of sense to me, but I did take the advice to heart.  The situation was bad enough already, and I did not wish in any way for it to become worse.

It was really a deflating, saddening, meeting.  I do not envy the job that he evidently volunteers for.  Positive moments are certainly few and far between.  I had wanted to follow up with the still lingering points of Morgan’s case that I really thought should be brought to a conclusion, but in view of this new advice I decided to put it off until the new year.  It was right around the corner anyway.

Then I could get back to finding out what had happened to Morgan’s missing jewelry, and how the interview went with the friend or a friend who had heard J.H., talking about the stalker, and utter that “now the police know it’s my daughter’s ex-boyfriend.  What exactly did he mean by that?  I had yet to come up with any other explanation than he meant the Sheriffs know that it is K.V.G. just as the detective had told me.

After all of the emotional impact he had on Morgan’s last four months of life – I wanted this to be brought to an end.  But I could wait…thinking it would not be very long.

That was over a year ago.