Advice for Families & Friends of Stalking Victims

Advice for Families & Friends

What should loved ones do—and what should they avoid?

  • BELIEVE THEM. Listen and take their concerns seriously. Do not dismiss, question, or minimize what they are experiencing.
  • REMIND THEM THAT IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT. The stalker is responsible for the behavior. No one deserves to be stalked, threatened, or made to feel unsafe.
  • BE SUPPORTIVE. Offer emotional support without judgment or pressure. Instead of telling them what to do, ask, “How can I help you feel safer?” Respect their choices and recognize that they know their situation best.
  • HELP THEM CONNECT WITH RESOURCES. Offer to help them find victim services or a stalking advocate. Support them in documenting incidents, preserving evidence, and exploring options for reporting to law enforcement.
  • RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY. Do not share their location, routines, photographs, or personal information without permission. Ask how you can communicate with them safely.
  • SUPPORT SAFETY PLANNING. Help them work with a trained advocate to develop a plan tailored to their circumstances. Depending on their needs, this may include reviewing home security, securing online accounts, establishing a code word, or arranging trusted check-ins. Discuss changes together rather than assuming any single measure will keep them safe.
  • DO NOT CONFRONT THE STALKER. Avoid contacting, threatening, or trying to reason with the person on their behalf. Well-intended intervention could increase the danger.
  • Your role is to listen, believe, and support—not to take control. Consistent, compassionate support can help someone feel less isolated as they navigate what to do next.

SPARC – STALKING PREVENTION, AWARENESS AND RESOURCE CENTER. https://www.stalkingawareness.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/SupportingLovedOnesExperiencingStalking.pdf

A Gang Stalking where the Typology exhibits Predatory Stalker Behavior…

Emeritus Professor Paul E. Mullen: Understanding Predatory Stalking

Professor Paul E. Mullen is an internationally renowned forensic psychiatrist, clinician, and researcher. He is Emeritus Professor of Forensic Psychiatry at Monash University and served as Foundation Clinical Director of the Victorian Institute of Forensic Mental Health.

His extensive clinical and research work has explored the relationship between mental disorders and criminal behaviour, stalking, the long-term effects of childhood sexual abuse, jealousy, and persistent grievance-driven behaviour.

Understanding Predatory Stalking

In their 1999 paper, “Study of Stalkers,” Mullen and his colleagues identified five types of stalkers: rejected, intimacy-seeking, incompetent, resentful, and predatory.

The researchers described predatory stalkers as individuals preparing for a sexual attack. Their behaviour may involve gathering information about a victim, rehearsing an intended assault through fantasy, and deriving gratification from a sense of power over the person they are targeting.

Although predatory stalkers represented a small group in this study, the researchers emphasised the importance of recognising their potential for sexual violence. They also noted that victims may have little clear warning: they may feel frightened or watched without being certain they are being followed. The paper described predatory stalking as primarily a criminal justice concern, with treatment of associated sexual disorders potentially relevant to reducing repeat offending.

How This Relates to Morgan’s Stalking

During Morgan’s stalking, we experienced incidents that included tapping on windows at night, someone calling out while remaining hidden, and items being moved inside our home. To us, these incidents created a terrifying sense that someone was watching her and could invade the places where she should have felt safest.

Based on what our family witnessed and documented, we believe multiple people were involved. Over those four months, the stalking escalated. Our family maintains that it culminated in Morgan’s violent sexual assault and murder.

In the final week before Morgan’s death, the detective investigating her stalking, Rob Glassmire, told us that the situation was escalating. According to our recollection, he also informed the people under investigation that he planned to assemble the evidence, videotape Morgan’s statement, and would likely make an arrest the following week.

Looking back, I am deeply concerned that communicating those plans may have increased the danger to Morgan. We understood that an investigation was moving forward, but we did not understand what that warning might mean for her immediate safety.

I cannot know precisely how those individuals interpreted the warning or what role it played in subsequent events. What I do know is that Morgan needed protection as the stalking escalated, and our family did not understand the full extent of the danger she faced.

Morgan’s story is why I continue to advocate for greater awareness of stalking, better recognition of escalating behaviour, and responses that place the victim’s immediate safety at the centre of every decision.

Research reference: Mullen, P. E., Pathé, M., Purcell, R., & Stuart, G. W. (1999). “Study of Stalkers.” American Journal of Psychiatry, 156(8), 1244–1249.

What To Do If You’re Being Stalked

REMEMBER, STALKING CAN BE LETHAL. IT’S DANGEROUS AND CRIMINAL IN ALL 50 STATES IN THE US

  • 📒 Document every incident – see link below for sample log
  • 📸 Save screenshots & messages
  • Tell the people you trust – more eyes and ears seeing and hearing about what is happening to you. Do not be embarrassed or ashamed (it is not your imagination, and you did nothing to bring this on); others need to know and help watch out for you, including neighbors and co-workers
  • Trust your instincts – your instincts are more accurate than your logical thoughts when it involves a stalker
  • Consider keeping pepper spray or some other protection on you at all times, and don’t hesitate to use it if confronted
  • The use of other safety measures should be implemented, like cameras, motion alarms, etc.
  • 👮 Report to police/law enforcement every single incident, with date, time, what happened, and how it made you feel. Your fear is real and needs to be noted for law enforcement to understand the impact and take your case seriously
  • 🧳 Keep a go-bag ready
  • 🐾 Make a safety plan for yourself and your pets

Click here for a link from SPARC for Documentation Logs & Victims’ Handbooks in many different languages: https://www.stalkingawareness.org/documentation-log/

The Case Book Files Podcast Coming Soon…

I am so excited about the new True Crime Podcast called The Case Book Files that is coming soon.

Here is the video of the Denver7 news show that aired on TV last week. Click on the link below and listen if you can.

Robert Wells, a friend and colleague of mine, talks about the case of his brother, Sid Wells, and the murder that has never received justice. Sid’s case will be the first one highlighted on this coming podcast.

Sid was a journalism student at the University of Colorado Boulder when he was shot and killed in his own home. At the time, he was engaged to Shauna Redford, Robert Redford’s daughter.

This was another case out of Colorado that was not handled correctly, and the suspect was released and disappeared into the night, never to be found. When listening to the following news show, you will start to understand why the Case Book Files podcast will be critical to solving these cold cases.

It is not just another podcast to raise awareness; it is a podcast to help solve cold cases. Please click on the link below to listen to this newscast.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pQEXBwWPTpo

SPARC – Stalking can be an Extension of Power & Control…

 

Stalking frequently co-occurs with domestic/dating violence, and on average, current or former intimate partner stalkers are the most dangerous stalking offenders. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) — a vital time to examine and amplify the ways stalking and intimate partner violence overlap and intersect. Watch and share our short awareness video to get started!

Stalking can be an extension of power and control in domestic/dating relationships and is often an indicator of escalating violence. Stalking can occur before, during, and/or after a relationship, and identifying and responding to stalking is critical for enhancing victim/survivor safety and offender accountability.

Visit our website to learn more about identifying stalking behaviors, safety planning with victims and survivors, and working to hold intimate partner stalking offenders accountable at www.StalkingAwareness.org.