Tag Archives: MJ

How under reported is the problem of stalking, and what can we do about it?

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As I write a blog called Morgan’s stalking it should come as no great surprise that I come in contact with victims of stalking – before this I would have never known this was such a hugely under reported crime.  Before Morgan was stalked, and murdered, yes absolutely and very shockingly murdered, Steve and I really did not know very much about stalking.  It was a word that had meaning, but in that far away sense, never to cross our universe.

Now it is different for me, the victims of stalking mean more than I can explain.  I have this drive now that compels me not want what happened to Morgan to happen to anyone else.  Is that such a bad thing?  I will never believe that it is, and I know that the solution starts with the truth.

First comes a change that must happen for all of us.  In a 2009 study by the Bureau of Justice on stalking in the United States, over 60% of stalking victims never reported the crime, I believe that, and suspect that today it is not very different.  Yet that is a number that has to change, drastically.

How does this happen?  Again, with the truth – stalking is a crime under the laws of all 50 states, the District of Columbia, and the federal government.  Research it and read it, assume your stalker has already done the same.  Also, research the victim’s rights laws in your state, know them and expect them to be upheld.  I have no doubt that our stalker already knew all about the laws he was breaking, how else could he have done it so well?

Next, after you contact law enforcement, ask yourself a simple question.  Are they being reactionary?  Are they reacting to your calls about another stalking incident, or is there a plan of prevention being put in place?  If it is just reaction, don’t be surprised, that is the way law enforcement is taught.  Crime occurs – react.  Until every agency in the country has a protocol to step forward and seek to prevent your stalkers next step, instead of sitting back, and reacting – the stalkers have been given the upper hand.  And, unfortunately for us all, that is the situation that I believe far too many of us are saddled with today.  This is why education, as well as a change in existing protocols needs to be implemented.

Do I think for one second that our detective wanted to see Morgan end up dead, no of course not.  He has children of his own that he loves dearly, he was devastated the day Morgan was found.  For me to be frustrated that he came to our door without any of the right tools, when I thought he had all the answers is to be expected.  No matter what I am ever told, I doubt I will ever, as a mother, fully forgive myself for allowing my daughter to be murdered, and Steve feels exactly the same way.  It does not help, we know this, but if that is how we feel, don’t expect us to let anyone else off easy.

In what may be a very unscientific conclusion, all of the many victims that have contacted me, with the exception of two, feel that they are receiving the cold shoulder from law enforcement.  Do not be surprised if this is how you feel.  Two had their stalkers arrested, after proactively using cameras that were able to snap photographic evidence of their stalker – their LE agencies confronted their stalkers, as they had obvious proof, and the stalkers confessed. This is so wonderful – but trust me it doesn’t always happen like that.

I received some very good counsel from a very wise individual today, and it has helped me very much.  And let me share part of it with you, if you even think you may have a stalker, seek help, early and often.  Because if you keep silent and do not, then it is just you against your stalker, and what more could your stalker ask for?

Please – the time is now – Take Stalking Seriously!

Monday September 12, 2011 – Day 42 of Morgan’s stalking – Our Daughter Is So Stressed!

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In the afternoon I take a break from work and go in the kitchen.  So many afternoons like this Morgan and I would talk about anything.  But it is quiet, I hear her in her room, singing to her pets.  I went and knocked on her door, Morgan yells out, “Come in momacita!” and I do.  Morgan is hard at work, hand sewing thick burgundy flannel sheets to fit over her really high windows.  She tells me that what she already put over her upper windows was too thin, and this will block out all the light.

We talk – Morgan has given the stalker some thought, and she tells me she is worried the stalker can see into her room from up high.  She doesn’t want even a silhouette of her to escape her room.  I asked why she thought he could see through her top windows, they are really high up.  Through her upper windows, with the drapes she had already put up, the most you could make out would be a shadow on the ceiling, if that.  It was not like our rear windows where the stalker could stand up on the berm and see things inside the house.

Morgan lying outside

Morgan lying outside,
smiling for another picture!

Morgan paused and looked at me.  I think he could be on Rhonda’s roof next door.  “Why? I asked, “Have you seen him?” Morgan shook her head,  “No, if I had don’t you think I would have told you”.  “Of course” I answered back. I walked behind Morgan and touched her shoulders, I didn’t want her to see how upset I was, and I didn’t think that it was possible for her stalker to be up on the next door neighbor’s roof.  I told Morgan her shoulders were so tense they were like rocks, and I didn’t believe anyone was up on our neighbor’s roof.  Sammy, our neighbor’s dog was always barking around the time our motion lights, outside Morgan’s room, would go off, he was very protective and alert, but it seemed a little crazy to think this stalker had gotten onto our neighbor’s roof.

Little did I know at the time she was right, and I was not – this stalker had been on our roof, and probably our neighbor’s roof as well.  Nothing happened tonight – it was quiet.

Tessi is trying to get rest too

Tessi is trying to get some sleep too !

Today September 9, 2012, as I write this, I remember yesterday’s blog and recalled that my entire night was upset because Tessi barked, once.  What I should really have said was that my entire night was upended because my daughter had a stalker, AND THEN, our dog barked, once.  On the day last year that Morgan was making her extra thick window coverings, she was fighting back, Morgan was courageous, but it was also taking its toll.  I’m sure I’ve said it before, so I’m not going to even check before telling you that stalking takes such a big toll on your life.  Every little thing you say, and do has to then be put through the stalker processor.  You stalker becomes a consideration – in a quick trip to the store, the wattage of your lights, how cranked open the windows can be, how drawn completely closed is the new required position for all window coverings – and even if you have to make them yourself, thicker window coverings for your clearstory windows, which just might allow you to sleep a little more soundly.

A stalker, for reasons I may never understand, wants to invade your life, own it as much as possible, which is why they do all the things they do.  As I write this blog  I have heard, over and over, stories from other victims about how frightening it became as their stalking escalated:

  • The stalker broke into the house, they could just tell he had been there.
  • The stalker stole things, from the yard, the car, the bedroom.
  • The stalker broke up the apartment, smashing pictures on the floor.
  • The stalker, went crazy, and destroyed an entire room.
  • The stalker killed her pet, she can’t afford an autopsy, but she just knows that he did.

In Morgan’s case investigators (not local law) are explaining to me that it is not a matter of if her stalker could have been in her room, it is more a question of how many times. Evidently a stalker will usually attempt to not tip off anyone the first time he enters your home.  And really, if we were never able catch her stalker out in the yard over four months, why on earth did we believe that he could never be in the house!!!  Please understand, I am not saying this to freak anyone out.  My goal is for all of you to be safe, and to realize that bad things can happen.  What we had been advised of, and actually thought was impossible, was not only completely possible, it was far worse, and was in fact, happening.

Click here to read about the 43rd day of Morgan’s stalking https://morgansstalking.com/?p=1148

I’ve attached a link to a video of a volunteer helping Steve with another little experiment that went like this.  Our concerns about the possibility of someone on the roof were completely dismissed by the sheriffs.  There was no ladder, no way for the stalker to get up, they thought.  Now granted this was long after Morgan had been murdered, but Steve stopped by our old house.  He pointed his trusty iPhone on the tree that was up against the back of our house, which had become our prime focus, because the motion light there would always go off there for unexplained reasons.  Steve tells our volunteer no practice runs, just one try, if you get spooked for any reason stop, and I’ll get you down, and if you should make it up onto the roof stop there.  End of experiment.

So to put an end to one question that keeps popping up – is it possible for someone to get up on our roof with no ladder, jet packs, or other aids – watch this video below, hosted on Vimeo.    (it is possible within seconds – and it was quite an eye opener for us! 🙁

tree.climb from Morgan’s Stalking on Vimeo.