As I write a blog called Morgan’s stalking it should come as no great surprise that I come in contact with victims of stalking – before this I would have never known this was such a hugely under reported crime. Before Morgan was stalked, and murdered, yes absolutely and very shockingly murdered, Steve and I really did not know very much about stalking. It was a word that had meaning, but in that far away sense, never to cross our universe.
Now it is different for me, the victims of stalking mean more than I can explain. I have this drive now that compels me not want what happened to Morgan to happen to anyone else. Is that such a bad thing? I will never believe that it is, and I know that the solution starts with the truth.
First comes a change that must happen for all of us. In a 2009 study by the Bureau of Justice on stalking in the United States, over 60% of stalking victims never reported the crime, I believe that, and suspect that today it is not very different. Yet that is a number that has to change, drastically.
How does this happen? Again, with the truth – stalking is a crime under the laws of all 50 states, the District of Columbia, and the federal government. Research it and read it, assume your stalker has already done the same. Also, research the victim’s rights laws in your state, know them and expect them to be upheld. I have no doubt that our stalker already knew all about the laws he was breaking, how else could he have done it so well?
Next, after you contact law enforcement, ask yourself a simple question. Are they being reactionary? Are they reacting to your calls about another stalking incident, or is there a plan of prevention being put in place? If it is just reaction, don’t be surprised, that is the way law enforcement is taught. Crime occurs – react. Until every agency in the country has a protocol to step forward and seek to prevent your stalkers next step, instead of sitting back, and reacting – the stalkers have been given the upper hand. And, unfortunately for us all, that is the situation that I believe far too many of us are saddled with today. This is why education, as well as a change in existing protocols needs to be implemented.
Do I think for one second that our detective wanted to see Morgan end up dead, no of course not. He has children of his own that he loves dearly, he was devastated the day Morgan was found. For me to be frustrated that he came to our door without any of the right tools, when I thought he had all the answers is to be expected. No matter what I am ever told, I doubt I will ever, as a mother, fully forgive myself for allowing my daughter to be murdered, and Steve feels exactly the same way. It does not help, we know this, but if that is how we feel, don’t expect us to let anyone else off easy.
In what may be a very unscientific conclusion, all of the many victims that have contacted me, with the exception of two, feel that they are receiving the cold shoulder from law enforcement. Do not be surprised if this is how you feel. Two had their stalkers arrested, after proactively using cameras that were able to snap photographic evidence of their stalker – their LE agencies confronted their stalkers, as they had obvious proof, and the stalkers confessed. This is so wonderful – but trust me it doesn’t always happen like that.
I received some very good counsel from a very wise individual today, and it has helped me very much. And let me share part of it with you, if you even think you may have a stalker, seek help, early and often. Because if you keep silent and do not, then it is just you against your stalker, and what more could your stalker ask for?
Please – the time is now – Take Stalking Seriously!