Tag Archives: morganingram

Is distrust of Garfield County Authorities justified in Morgan’s case?

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noplacelikehome

I spent a morning last week with two very engaging, and luckily for me talented technicians.  Of course we talked about Morgan, her stalking, and her murder.  And in a moment that has been repeated far too many times since the beginning of Morgan’s stalking there were three truths they shared, just like so many other “locals” that I have spoken with.

They both had children of their own, they were saddened, shocked and angered to hear this could have happened in our little valley, and they had not heard a word about Morgan’s story from the news.  And before they left, they enlightened me with a few quotes about tyranny – AKA, oppressive power; especially; oppressive power exerted by government.

Tyranny? Could such a thing exist in Garfield County, Colorado, in the United States?  It’s been on my mind ever since.  I searched, and almost immediately came upon this quote by one of our founding fathers, James Madison:

“All men having power ought to be distrusted to a certain degree”

And pertaining to my dealings with Garfield County since Morgan’s death James Madison could have easily been referring specifically to the County Coroner, and his contracted pathologist from Grand Junction, as well as the Sheriff.  None of these men has been a champion for Morgan’s rights, quite the opposite, that we are grieving parents left to fight on our own is a far more accurate description of what Steve and I have been treated to here by Garfield County.

James Madison had another quote I thought fit right in too:

“A popular government without popular information, or the means of acquiring it, is but a prologue to a farce, or a tragedy, or perhaps both”

If anyone in Garfield County Government really cared about Morgan, her rights, arresting her stalker, her death, or even using this tragedy to prevent it from happening again – they did a good job of hiding it.

The Coroner never spoke with any of Morgan’s doctor’s, how he came up with any pertinent information about Morgan’s medical history is a complete mystery to me.  All my attempts to direct him to the correct information, facts contained in records, was ignored.  And this complete lack of concern for the information became abundantly apparent in everything that has been written about Morgan’s death.  Very little is remotely accurate, but then if you don’t ask her doctors, or speak with her parents, or see her pharmacy records, how can you possibly know the prescription medications she did or did not take, medical conditions she did or did not have?  One of Morgan’s doctor’s grew tired of waiting for the call for information that never came from the Coroner’s office so she called herself, to offer the information, and was given the complete brush off.  Minds were made up and there was no need for information, any information.  If you wonder how is that any way to solve a crime, don’t – because it isn’t.

The investigation into her death began, proceeded, and ended with a complete lack of information, and as was so correctly predicted in the quote – stands today as a farce.

The tragedy for Morgan, meanwhile, remains everywhere, in her murder, in her stalking.  First, when nine months after she was killed, the Sheriff goes on TV and declares they were at our house over fifty times and never saw a stalker, should that information he shared be more for for him, in his governmental capacity as the duly elected protector of the citizens, and if so, might different tactics be in order?  I mean to really catch stalkers, stop stalkers, you need to take stalking seriously!  The information of stalking history is readily available and indicates clearly that a percentage of stalking victims will be killed by their stalker.

Just to go on a little rant for the victims of stalking, say the percentage is 10%, it is not, every number I have seen is 11% or much higher.  And of course speaking of statistics, and percentages remember that according to Garfield County statistics Morgan was not killed by her stalker, Garfield County says they never saw a stalker, and she killed herself, which I am told, is not medically possible.  So if it is 10%, one in ten.  Would you rest easy having a stalker and know you have a one in ten chance of being killed?  Even if you move, state to state, same statistics.  Would you be satisfied with anything that did not include your stalker being arrested and incarcerated?  Would you ever really feel safe?  Russian roulette, a game of death with a gun that has six shots with one containing a bullet, click, your turn, absolute insanity to actually do, right?  But have a stalker and one in ten you die, how is that even remotely OK?

Rant for victims over, Steve and I had no knowledge of this shocking information, and the Sheriff saw nothing wrong with going on TV and telling the world his men were at our house over fifty times, and never saw the stalker, and evidently he does not see a problem with that.  I guess that is too much to ask of Garfield County duly elected officials.

We gave the Sheriff a photograph of the stalker leaning against Steve’s truck, and watching his Deputies drive away, and if that was not a little wake up call, then what would it have taken for the duly elected protector of the County’s citizens to see that there was a problem with their approach to stalking?

It’s too late for our daughter, but if this story repeats itself, right here, that will be only a worse tragedy, a completely preventable tragic ending for someone else depending on the Sheriff’s department for protection, and the Coroner for truth.  Let’s not let another family suffer a farce and a tragedy when both can be prevented.

I completely believe James Madison would have seen problems here and also been able to offer solutions.  He was not only a founding father of the United States, the forth president, he is also credited with being the, “father of the constitution”.  Such wisdom and foresight is obviously rare.  I only wish he were here today to help send a wake up call to Garfield County, but I understand this task is up to Steve and I in the loving memory of our daughter.

And we have gotten quite a bit of help already.  An esteemed trio consisting of a Forensic Pathologist, a Forensic Toxicologist, and a Forensic Psychologist have been able, with a great degree of medical certainty, to recreate the tragic death of Morgan.  It was not natural causes; it was not a suicide, in fact every doctor not working for Garfield County who has reviewed Morgan’s case agrees on those two facts.  Garfield County’s contracted pathologist still believes she has Porphyria and took many medications.  Shockingly, this is not based on information from any of Morgan’s medical doctors, and it is a farce. a complete farce.

The Sheriff, he’s just fine with the information that his men never saw a stalker.  But, did he forget I gave him a picture!  If I give him a picture of the stalker seeing his men drive away, and he tries to spin it into his men never actually saw the stalker, in reality, is that just a farce, or a tragedy, or perhaps both?

Morgan wrote this to her brother, and also the one below to her sister in January of 2009 – this is just a little glimpse into Morgan’s heart

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January 06, 2009
To the best brother a girl could ask for, when people tell me that the world is a cruel and horrible place all I can do is smile. I smile because I know them to be wrong. I know that the world is a beautiful place worth fighting for. I know this because of you. When I think of you I feel my heart, not the one that beats, rather the one that feels. Seventeen years here on earth, I have seen bad people and good people, but you Ryan, I know to be the best. For reasons I can t quite explain, I see you more clearly than other people. I see your struggles and your triumphs, but mostly I see your heart. I am truly blessed to have a person like you in my life, a person who makes hope look so tangible, so real.
********************************************************************************************************************
My sister is an amazing person. She is strong and independent and fierce. She s the kind of woman that any girl would dream of becoming. She takes care of herself as well as others and I can only pity the person who stands in her way. She s an unstoppable force. But beyond all of these things that the casual observer sees in her, there s the thing that you fall in love with when you fall in love with my sister. Her heart. Beyond all of her white platinum armor and her authoritarian stance, there is a heart like none other on this planet. A heart that could never be apathetic, that could never back down from its beliefs and that could never stop loving. It’s the thing in my sister that makes people want to protect her at whatever cost, even though she’d never need it. I love my sister, and even though I’m the baby sister I will always be fighting for her. For a really long time I knew that no one was ever going to be good enough for her. Here I stand corrected. The more I get to know her husband, the more that I see that there couldn’t be a more perfect match. Where he is lacking she is strong, and where she lost he is found. They grow together, they stand together and they fall together. They are both twice the person that they are for having found the other. There’s only one way for a couple like this to go. And that’s up. So stay tuned. This is just the tip of the iceberg. To my sister and her husband and the wonderful journey that stands before them. 3rocks
 I wanted to include this picture on this post, because to me it represents my 3 children – my 3 rocks.   I love them all more than life itself, and from them I gain the strength to pursue the quest for justice for Morgan, our youngest child, as well as for all the children that have been terrorized, and murdered and for all the families left to suffer in silence.

Morgan wrote a poem, and I would like to share it with you

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orangeflowers

When Morgan was 17 she wrote a poem for me for Mothers Day (she always made handmade presents, or wrote things for everyone, buying presents wasn’t personal enough for Morgan, she always gave you a piece of herself) – I haven’t shared it up until now, because it was just a private present from Morgan to me, but since I am going to start to share more, and more of Morgan, how she thought about things, how she was, etc. I thought it’s time I share this with everyone.

My dearest Mother

She is a piece of work

We rarely get along

For all of our flaws

She bites her nails

And cuticles too

And that drives me crazy

Wouldn’t it you?

She’s been there for me always

But that’s not why I love her

You see, I love my mother

For more than she could know

I love my mother

For the strengths that she shows

It drives me crazy when she won’t shut up

And it does me in when she worries too much

But I love my mother

For every single time

That anything got in my way

And she turned into a beast

A beast that is loud, obnoxious and wild

A beast that wouldn’t stop for the world

This beast is no friend of mine

And I hate it sometimes

But this beast, my mother

Is there rain or shine

This beast, would take out the world for me

Even if I don’t see it all the time

I love you mother

That one thing is true

I love you

For just being you

I cry every time I read this because it is so true, I am not perfect, Morgan was not perfect (but pretty darn close), but we loved each other so very much, no matter what…isn’t that true for all of us parents?  Wouldn’t most parents that love their children jump in front of a bus to save them?  Wouldn’t most parents give up their last breath for their child?  And the thing that hurts the most is that in my gut I felt the danger getting closer that final week, and that one night I let down my guard too much, and a terrible evil entered our house, and the beast in me that Morgan had come to rely on to protect her wasn’t ready – I feel like I failed her, but I now know that I couldn’t have protected her from evil every day of her life, and if evil wanted to extinguish her light it eventually would, unless it was stopped first.  That is such a hard thing for me to accept, but I now know it in my heart to be true.

So searching my soul I know that I can never bring Morgan back, but we can keep fighting for justice for Morgan, we can keep fighting (and I can be the beast she loved, because I know she wants me to be just that) for others, and to really try to change the world.  Like I said before – there are laws every day being written and put on the books, but if law enforcement doesn’t follow those laws, the protection will not be there.  I feel very strongly that is where we need to start – to bring this education to law enforcement, and to require accountability, that they hold up the laws that are required in their state.  If law enforcement takes stalking seriously, and follows the laws that have been enacted to protect the victims, then there is a greater chance that victims will know what to do to protect themselves, and law enforcement will be able to stop a violent act before it happens.  I pray that change is made, and I will do anything in my power to bring about that change.

For anyone out there that wonders what I think…

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quote

The last guest stalking victim wrote the following, as well as the poem.

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flowersShe wrote the “Ode!”at the bottom of this post and she said to me:

I knew he’d never see it and I didn’t fear his ability to retaliate against me; by then, I’d convinced myself he would not take my life and its enjoyment because I would not let it happen. I probably had too much sass in me then when the threat was still there, but I didn’t like where he left me and how I felt; I still don’t. A year ago this month the poem was written as a therapy assignment that DID make me feel a little better. I’ve always been VERY adamant that I am NOT in any way interested in this man and I’m less interested now, if you can be less than 0% interested. I’m 85-90% back to normal and some days, it’s probably 95%. The nightmares still happen, but it is getting a little easier.

That in tune with doing the right thing in a therapy session, 8 days after the chat with his boss, and yet, needing it validated. Yeah, I’m the crazy one — I don’t think so. The fact he has 6, 4 and 2 year old granddaughters makes it worse. His daughter is two months younger than I am. His boss, —- (my ex-friend) hired his daughter to work for this company in March of last year. She’s 20 and a really good looking girl. I worried for her; part of my reasoning too for telling —. If —- thinks so much of —- that he’s willing to sacrifice his daughter’s safety to keep the pervert employed, it speaks volumes about his character. Here’s the poem:

Ode to Slime

Like the waves of the ocean, my days ebb and flow
Some moments are peaceful; others sink below
In a moment of strength, I smile and I laugh
Just one moment later, I beg for a raft
This is now my life; my life known after you
My heart, tossed and broken; a nightmare come true
The lies and deception, the grief and regret
I’ve done nothing wrong, but I feel them; you bet

What we shared was no friendship, whatever you say
For friendship defined is never this way
A friend never strives to make you two feet tall
No, this was no friendship; no friendship at all
The emotional rape of my spirit runs deep
And though you don’t care, this promise I’ll keep
Your toxic existence may have caused me strife
But, no matter your effort, you’ll not steal my life

Your slimed way of life has lost its appeal
You are such a phony and I plan to heal
So, whene’er your waves come to spew o’er my heart
I’ll rise to the surface, grateful we’re apart
I’ll swim towards the shoreline and bask in the sun
I’ll pump my fists proudly, admitting I’ve won
For I am much stronger than you ever knew
I’m better, I’m hopeful, I’m loved, despite you

I live for the future, in spite of my past
I learn from mistakes; life lessons to last
I maintain the friendships that you tried to steal
Unlike our nightmare, those friendships are real
In time, I’ll move past these dark days I now know
And no more will I find myself sinking below
That day, I’ll be grateful for the pain you brought
Because you will have proven all that you are not

You are not perfection and God’s gift to all
You are not a Savior to heal those who fall
You are not a Saint, worthy of a shrine
You are not, nor will you ever, be mine
You are not a hero, better than human race
You are not a martyr, surrounded in grace
While I am not either, I accept this fact well
I do not feel the need to make earthen Hell

On my day of healing, I’ll finally see
The pain and heartache that you brought to me
I’ll find myself wiser to the likes of you
While you’ve slithered back to the rock pile you knew
I’ll continue my journey of wisdom and truth
Far from your existence, dismal and uncouth
As I stand on the shoreline, I will watch you drown
Because Karma’s a bitch and one day, you’ll go down!
© 2012 – Jill Eisnaugle’s Poetry Collection.