For today’s blog I decided to just post a few of the emails I have received from other stalking victims again (these all came in last September, so I will continue to share stories until I get caught up to today at least)….I feel like this is so important for others to read about the experiences of these victims.  Stalking has to be taken seriously – peoples lives are forever changed, and it it an extremely dangerous crime, as well as the most under reported crime.  Please spread the word – share this blog with everyone you know, and please help whenever you can if there is someone you know that is experiencing stalking.  Thank you so much!

This reader wrote in last September:

Hello, I just read your whole blog with great interest. I was the victim of a stalker for 18 months. I lived alone and had to deal with this by myself. It was just before the stalker law went into effect, so the police, though they tried, were of very limited help.

Your description of how it affects your life was very accurate, and I found many parallels to my life at the time. After being arrested and put on probation, it did not stop him, so I left town for a year.

I could go on about the ways I understood your posts, but I will pick one that I find very disturbing that you mentioned. I used to shoot pool weekly with a group and was concerned this man might have located me at the bar (turns out it was elsewhere). I talked to the female bartender and asked her to ask women she knew, and if so, point me out to them to talk, in case it was someone from the bar. I was astonished at the number of women who came up to me to tell their story. I found some similar stories and paired up women with the same experiences with their stalker. Very unnerving to know so many had a stalker.

I applaud what you are doing and hope for the best outcome, we need people like you working towards a community effort.

This one came to me last September as well:

11 years ago I was the victim of stalking-first in person (until I received a restraining order) and then via the internet, and my family and friends (this was before various online harassment laws came into effect in my state). I was fortunate that the law enforcement in my town took this very seriously, particularly a female detective at my local police department. I’m also the stepdaughter of a victim’s rights advocate from another state, and she played a big part in teaching/instructing me how to get help (my point is I had resources who KNEW how this would end up and helped me make some smart moves). DESPITE new laws coming into play surrounding online criminal harassment during my ordeal, the person who stalked, harassed, and threatened me, when took to court and sued by my state, only received a $35 fine and a slap on the wrist. The ONLY thing that saved me was he had moved on to his next victim by that point (a woman he married, fathered a child with, and did the same thing to). So while I was supported by local law enforcement, the actual laws were ineffective in stopping this pathologic stalker, unfortunately. It’s my belief he will just continue to repeat his behaviors with his next victim and his next and his next. During my trial, I learned via the CORI laws, that this person had stalked and harassed his prior partner as well. He was a known repeat offender and there was no law in place that looked at his entire history and the likelihood that he would repeat his crimes. The laws in place in my state at that time were a joke. In fact, it’s my belief after many years, that the laws almost inspired him to continue his behaviors. I read your story with a heavy, heavy heart, thinking that could have been me, thanking God it wasn’t, and praying for you and your family as you mourn the loss of your beautiful and amazing daughter. God bless you. xoxoxo

 And another from last September:

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story with the world. I know first hand just how terrifying stalking can be. My mothers ex-husband stalked her after they separated and it was the worst months of my life when that went on. Because of him being her current husband (divorce hadn’t been filed) they never pressed stalking charges against him. He only got a slap on the wrist, and a few short prison stays for violating a protection order. I am so glad to see someone being so outspoken about stalking and the effects it has and how deadly it can turn. Luckily we eventually moved and haven’t had a problem since, but it breaks my heart others are not as lucky. I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that one day you get justice for Morgan. Thank you again for sharing your story with the world. It is an amazingly brave thing to do and a great display of the love you have for your daughter.

And again, another from last September:

Your story touches me and I am so sorry for your loss:

Dear Morgan, I was stalked in 1986 in North Carolina. I was 19 years old and a college student. I had enrolled in summer school and was working on a campus that was under populated during the summer. I was moving from a dorm to summer housing nearby that was much more affordable. I had just carried my TV down three flights of stairs and had to carry it a long distance to my new place. A fellow student, who I did not know but had seen before, asked if I needed a hand with it. I was thankful for the help. He was friendly and introduced himself. He carried the TV to my new place. I thanked him and that was that, I thought, nothing out of the ordinary. After that we’d say hi to each other in passing. Soon, I began running in to him more and more frequently. Then, I started seeing him in unexpected places. I’d go to the bank, and he’d show up. I’d go to the grocery store, and he’d soon follow. I began dating someone and he would show up at EVERY single date location. He never spoke to me other than to say hi. On occasion I’d hear him say derogatory things under his breath. My friends and the guy I was dating knew that he intimidated me. I stopped sleeping alone. I either stayed at a friend’s place or they stayed at my place. One night, he showed up at party that I was at. I largely avoided him and left after finishing my drink. On the way home I felt so dizzy and weak that I had to sit on the sidewalk with my head between my knees for about 20 minutes before I could get up and walk the rest of the way home. I didn’t suspect that something had slipped something into my drink until much later. The stalking continued. The guy I was dating had just had surgery and I had visited him in the hospital. Then I joined my friends at a local hangout off campus. I hadn’t seen my stalker all day and was in good spirits. I chatted with a guy that I had dated a year prior, when the stalker came up behind me and whispered something extremely derogatory in my ear. It rattled me, and I convinced my friends to go. I wish that I had made different decisions that night. For whatever reason, I decided to sleep in my apartment that night. I had an apartment mate whose boyfriend was a campus cop. I was kind of fed up with the BS, and tired of it. I had to get up really early for work the next morning and didn’t want to inconvenience my friends.

You know how you can tell sometimes when you are sleeping that someone is in the room with you? Well, I was in a deep sleep and started getting that feeling that I was not alone. Next thing I knew, someone was touching me and I was like where am I? I’m supposed to be alone, right? I sat right up and met the eyes of my stalker, crouched beside my bed, mere inches from my face. I started freaking out, and grabbed for the tweezers, the only thing handy. It was 3:36 am per my alarm clock. I managed to stab him in the cheek before he ran out the front door. As an aside, he broke into the back door that led directly into my room, but had the presence of mind to unlock the front door once he was inside, just in case he had to make a hasty exit from either direction. I remember every single detail to this day and still see it in my dreams sometimes. He wore a navy blue t-shirt and navy blue adidas shorts with the white strips down the sides. I walked over to my apartment mates room and knocked on the door. She and her boyfriend had both slept through it. I told them that someone had been in my room. Her boyfriend went to go get the campus police since we did not have a phone. While he was gone I told her that I knew who it was, and told her. She was like, Oh, my God! She had known I was scared of him also. She asked, are you going to tell? I said, I don’t know. When the cop showed up, I told him the name of the person who had broken into my apartment and assaulted me. I was up the rest of the night, sitting up in bed with the trusty tweezers until sunrise. Then, I went to work, told my boss that I had to go see the dean of students as soon as his office opened that morning. My boss asked if everything was okay, but didn’t press for details when I didn’t offer any. I showed up at the dean’s office the minute it opened, and told him about the stalking, the break in and assault and the name of the attacker. He told me that he thought that the incident should be handled internally (read no need to bring poor publicity to the school by involving LE) and that he would talk to the other student involved. He told me that he was sure that the other student would no longer bother me after he was spoken to. I thought, are you kidding me?  But I politely said, no, it’s not necessary to talk to him, I’ll just be more careful, and never be alone again, and left. You see, not only was my stalker a fellow student, he was a star player on the college football team. A 300 lb. bruiser. When I got back to work, I asked my boss to use the phone to call my parents in New York. I called and told them what had happened. I told them what the dean said. I don’t remember much else about the call. I borrowed some cloth tablecloths from the cafeteria to completely cover the windows to my room, so that no one could see in. Later that day, a friend came by to help put up the table cloths and my stalker walked by, looked at us and waved. The next morning, I was at work, when my father walked through the door. I’d never been more relieved to see anyone before in life. He said that he was taking me to the city’s police department to file a report. He got directions from my boss. We went to the police department and filed a report. They told me a detective would be assigned to investigate and would be contacting me. The following day I was contacted by a detective who made an appointment to come by and talk to me. My dad had made arrangements for me to move back into a dorm because he felt it was safer, and knew I could not stay in that apartment any longer. He helped me move and then returned to New York. A friend stayed with me while I spoke to the investigator. A few days went by with my attacker still roaming free on campus. The investigator called and told me that there had been a break in of another apartment a short time prior to mine, a house filled with newly arrived Japanese exchange students. They had filed a report, but did not know who the intruder was. But the circumstances were similar, so he had met with them, and they had been able to identify him as being the same person as my stalker from the yearbook. He said that they would be arresting him, but would not tell me when. A few days went by, and the stalker had the audacity to speak to me in the dining hall. He came up to me, put a hand on my arm, and said my name, asked how I was doing, said that I looked stressed out. WTF!!! Before long, a whole slew of police officers showed up where I worked and arrested his ass right in front of my face, cuffed the football star in front of just about every student still on campus that summer. Because I worked there, everyone was asking me if I knew what it was about. The next day he was out on bail and back on campus. He was asking people if they knew who I was, because he had no idea and had never met me before. He packed up and moved back to his mom’s place out of state. I finally felt safe. There was gossip and talk but it died down. Then school started up again and everyone returned to campus, including the rest of the football team. Rumors were rampant – I had slept with the entire football team-He and I had been seeing each other, I liked rough sex and things got out of hand, etc., etc. A few people told me that he had done the same thing to them, or knew people who had since graduated, but would testify if need be. None of them had come forward because they were scared. My stalker’s best friend, fellow athlete, huge dude also, took a job as a campus security guard, IN MY DORM. He had a freakin’ skeleton key to my room!!!! There was a security chain for while I was sleeping or in the room, but he literally had free access to my room when I wasn’t there. I found no evidence that he was ever in there, but I was terrified. Fast forward to homecoming weekend. Big football game. A lot of former players now graduated were back for the game. I heard my stalker was in town, but he’d been banned from campus, and I did not see him. The rumor mill was swirling again. I stayed pretty much in my room all weekend. I had asked my boss for those days off so that I wouldn’t have to see all of those people. At 3:00 am following the big game a huge rock came crashing through the window of my dorm room. A report was taken. The window was not fixed until sometime the following week. Fast forward about six months. I get a call from the DA. The stalker, originally charged with breaking and entering, aggravated sexual assault and attempted rape, had plea bargained down to a simple assault. He would be formally sentenced the following week. He would not serve any time. He would be on probation. He was banned from campus. Following his court appearance he showed up at my place of employment, on the campus that he’d just been banned from. I only saw him once again off campus just before graduating. It was at the bank. Years later I heard from a friend that she saw him working as a garbage collector in the same city. Nice job for a stalker, huh? I live far, far away now. I’m 46 years old, and I can’t tell you how much that experience shaped the course of my life, in some good ways, and also bad ways. I am a mother now, and have a beautiful daughter who I worry about every day. She’s 10 years old and she now knows my story. I felt the need to tell her before school started this year and she wanted to walk home from school by herself. I didn’t want her to and she told me that I worry too much.

Sorry to be so long winded. I’m so very sorry that this happened to you and that nothing has changed all that much in the past 27 years.

This was emailed to me by a reader of the blog – I found it very insightful, and very disturbing, but I feel that others should read it besides me. This reader is quite an amazing investigator in their own right. Until all the facts come out – after a proper law enforcement investigation is launched into Morgan’s stalking and murder, the resolution can not be found, and I really do appreciate others taking there time to really look at the circumstances surrounding Morgan’s stalking and murder since Steve and I have all this evidence, but we are not real investigators, and if someone else steps back and does the research they may obviously see things we have missed along the way.

http://www.expertlaw.com/library/investigators/serial_killers.html

Serial killers tend to be mostly white males; between 20 and 40 years of age . Most, although not all, serial killers begin their lives as petty criminals; initially they may have been peeping-Toms, animal torturers, arsonists, or many other wide ranges of pre-killing crimes, or crimes without death, but crimes nonetheless. To be followed by killing, a killing spree that starts and goes on until someone can force i to stop. The goal in effective law enforcement is to stop this cycle early, before it progresses to the uncontrollable and lethal stages.

Charles Williams, one suspect who died of AIDS in a Florida penitentiary, many of what we came to believe were his victim’s deaths were not initially classified as murders. The original detectives and medical examiners investigating these cases in a predominantly low-income area of Miami found large quantities of drugs in the bodies of women, most of whom were, based on previous arrest histories and family interviews, known prostitutes and/or drug addicts, and consequently most of these deaths were initially classified as drug overdoses.

http://www.crimemuseum.org/library/serialKillers/earlySignsOfSerialKillers.html

Young people who develop a serious tendency towards voyeurism may well be displaying their inclinations toward psychopathic tendencies. Serial killers often seek to have complete control over another human being, and watching their victims in private settings without the victims knowledge allows people inclined this way to feel a sense of dominance. This is a trait many serial killers share from an early age.

http://www.uplink.com.au/lawlibrary/Documents/Docs/Doc5.html

As Jack Apsche (1993) makes clear, serial murderers see themselves as dominant, controlling and powerful figures. They hold the power of life and death, and in their own eyes, they perceive themselves as God. In their fantasies and their enactment of the murder, they become God. This is actually probably the only power they have ever had, and for this reason they savor and continue to persist. As B.F Skinner proved in ‘Science and Human Behavior’, once a killer has tasted the success of a kill, and is not apprehended, it will ultimately mean he will strike again. He put it so simply, that once something good has happened, something that made the killer feel good, and powerful, then they will not hesitate to try it again. The first attempt may leave them with a feeling of fear, revulsion and remorse, as stated by Ted Bundy, to psychologists on the eve of his execution in 1989; but at the same time, it is like an addictive drug. Some killers revisit the crime scene or take trophies, such as jewelry or body parts, or clothing, or video tape the scenario so as to be able to re-live the actual feeling of power at a latter date. Many have been reported as saying that they had fallen into the power of the devil after several kills, which is contradictory to their initial beliefs that they were God. It is almost as though initially they believed that they would be powerful in that they had the choice in taking or sparing life, but as time progresses, and the kills mount up, they find they are driven to kill as though they have no choice. Apsche (1993) has noted that many killers have attempted to get help when they discovered they had little control. They appear to want to stop their actions, but regain control to avoid their discovery. This is possibly an example of a bipolar personality clash.

Serial Killers that I’m aware of who started stalking women in their neighborhoods when they were just getting their “career’s” started is quite an impressive list of sick twisted minds, including; Ted Bundy, Gerard Schaefer, Danny Rollins, Joel Rifkin and Derrick Lee Todd. I believe that Morgan was killed by a serial killer in the making his first or second kill. He started out as a peeping tom, but he started to act out for some reason, he was scared, and I think this is why he used the DRUGS to kill her, because he lived close by and didn’t want to get caught. If I’m right then K will become that serial killer, he won’t use drugs the next time. When I first saw K’s Mother’s picture I was struck by some similarities i.e. Hair, Body Frame. Not that Morgan looks anything like his mother, but in a killers eye (K’s) you can see how Morgan would not be a perfect match to his Ideal Victim, but Morgan’s look was enough for K to escalate his fantasy.

While we do not know K’s family upbringing, his mother does come across as overbearing. With K into hunting at a young age, and probably never explained the respect of hunting and why, his brain went into that fantasy world about his killing, he got a thrill out of the kill. I picture K when he became a teenager, he started his petty crimes of burglarizing homes, maybe stealing cars, personal items, this lead him to also be a peeping tom. Case the joint and invade the privacy of the victim, goes hand in hand really. Probably while he was casing a house, (seeing what is inside to steal through the windows) he probably saw women in their private moments, and God knows what else. He got off on it, that and his hunting and on top his over bearing Mother….yep. Living with B he had access to the drugs! Now with respect to B’s father, and I still believe that is him on the wildlife cam….if I am wrong about K as a killer, but rather he was just a petty burglar, maybe B’s dad overheard or found out about his crimes, suppose he took advantage of him living there, or even invited him in because he himself took a liking to Morgan. Could he be the serial killer like BTK, who went for years un-noticed? Is he only the opportunist killer?

Anyway, your last blog post provoked me to send you this email. With all the other peeping tom / home burglaries in the area, it sure does sound like K, however I’m still stuck on that wild life cam, for me that is J. H.! B. H. is also reputed to be bipolar right? What if B knew that K was casing your house to steal, but she knew he wasn’t stalking Morgan but, she figured out it was her DAD….oh man that wouldn’t that open up a big can of worms!

Morgan on her birthday hammock … she loved hammocks – it was the last birthday present we ever bought her, and she never got to use it because the stalkers presence started 14 days before her 20th birthday.  She was all smiles though – maybe thinking about the next summer (that was never to be) when she could use her hammock and lie under the stars at night.

In the early days of Morgan’s stalking there were few clues, but they all pointed to one thing when we look back.  Footprints at the windows, and a Deputy that identified human “scuff marks” made by two feet at her bedroom window, indicating he had been there a long time.  At the two bathroom windows, Morgan’s and then the bathroom she switched to after finding the first foots prints outside her bathroom window there were singular footprints, pictures of which Steve took, but castings, no, not for a misdemeanor crime .

Three specific windows that held something in common that are one of those things you just don’t want to think about, but then eventually you have to.  Morgan was very likely to be caught bathing or changing clothes from the vantage points chosen. One of the worst invasions of privacy for a woman.

But then when I back up, it gets far worse.  The summer before in the subdivision across the county road there were five incidents of tapping on windows.  I don’t know which windows, but that does not sound like a stalker to me.  A stalker by definition focuses his hugely unwanted attention on one victim.  Very often has a fantasy filled with an imaginary, sickly twisted, relationship with one victim.

Not the same as when the culprit is tapping on the windows of five different houses, quite a different type of sick twisted beast then.  A peeping tom, a pervert, a criminal who crosses a line never meant to be crossed.  Colorado updated laws a little over a year before Morgan’s stalking began, plenty of time for local law to come up to speed.

A family had been on vacation in the state and staying at a hotel.  A pervert peeping tom had a video set up in the next room and was watching them.  They don’t say how, but he was caught, and to the shock and dismay of the violated family, the best that could be done was charge to charge the pervert with a misdemeanor crime.  Kind of like the first 58 days of Morgan’s Stalking when the best they could do was to charge her stalker with a misdemeanor crime when hey caught him so this somehow justified for lax rules to be in place, when Morgan’s terror started it was merely a misdemeanor, no big deal.  And her tormentor was just a petty criminal, but you see that is not all he was, and I do not mean that in the positive sense, in any possible way.

So when the law was brought up to date back in 2010, Invasion of Privacy for Sexual Gratification, either by directly seeing or recording by camera of any kind went to a felony, as it well should be.  And when the perpetrator is checking out five different houses, that is not a confused stalker who forgot the address of the next victim to fixate on, that was invading privacy for sexual gratification, period!  And when Morgan’s pervert showed up at the three places you were most likely to catch her bathing or changing, this piece of work was doing the same exact thing.

MISTAKE – let Law Enforcement tell you the laws being broken, NO.  Find out every law being broken and insist on the perpetrator being investigated and actively pursued for every crime being committed, every single one.

The crime of Invasion of Privacy for Sexual Gratification was never leveled at Morgan’s perpetrator.  Never even brought up as a possibility actually.  Yet it should have, because there is little other explanation for his actions.  The true sexual nature of the crimes being perpetrated against Morgan became less clear and more muddied as he moved to “testing the defenses”, showing her and her parents that he could come and go whenever he wanted, and showing how fearless he was of law enforcement.  No fear at all, quite the opposite actually, I often told the Deputies how embolden he became after they had come and tried to “catch” him.  To call what we actually did to catch this creep any more than a leisurely stroll around the house with a flashlight is generous.  That according to reports they sometimes patrolled outward into neighboring areas in hopes of catching someone really has me shaking my head.

Detective Robert Glassmire told me that if we were to find a piece of Morgan’s missing jewelry in K.V.G.’s room he could just say someone gave it to him, so it meant nothing.  Or if we found a unique blade on the ground that was used by the grocery store he worked at, we don’t know when it ended up there, so it means nothing.  And if someone lies to the Detective Morgan is counting on to save her, there is nothing the detective can do about it.

Then why in the world patrol outlying neighborhoods, when, even if you did see someone, and, even if you chased down that someone, and even if you caught them, they could just say, naaa I was never by the Ingram’s, Morgan who? And then… there would be nothing that could done about it.

Sort of makes you feel unprotected doesn’t it?  Like for all their trucks and lights and guns and tasers, they really can’t do anything, can they?  Somehow I don’t think that is true.  If Morgan were here right now, I would not know how to explain to her how horribly Steve and I and the Sheriff’s failed her.  But I don’t think that is how it really is supposed to work.  Not for one second!

I miss my child so much – some people can’t understand what she was like, because they never knew her – others that knew her know all too well that she truly was, one-of-a kind.  I don’t believe she was the only 20 year old in the world that was so loving and so caring, so many others are too – it’s just not something you go around talking about.  I don’t think she was the only 20 year old that loved doing “road trips” with her parents, many times she would bring her friends along, almost just to prove how much fun her parents were, and they would laugh and say how much fun they had, and what a “crack up” Steve and I were.  Actually the secret is that we enjoyed all of them just as much as they professed to have enjoyed us.

Morgan used to tell me I was her best friend (which to me was rather shocking), but now I have had emails from other 20 year olds that tell me they feel the same way about their mom, and they have the same kind of relationship, and they actually feel sorry for others that do not.  Isn’t that great news for the world!  Morgan loved to sit on the couch and watch the Gilmore Girls with me – don’t know if you have ever seen it but it’s really cute, it’s about a single mom and her daughter and they are best friends.  But here is the thing, if your family is not like that then I guess you just tend to think families that are that close are just fooling…well guess what, they are not, we are not, and that’s why it hurts so much every single day that we know we will never see Morgan again in this world.  I should be angry, I have every single right to be angry, and I am.  I should be full of hate, but that, I am not, because you see, Morgan taught me many things over her short lifetime and that was one of the bigger lessons this daughter taught her mom.  Yes, I want to get justice for Morgan, yes I want to get this sick predator off the streets so this can’t happen to another innocent girl, and her family.  But at the same time I have learned I can do this through love, and faith, and that is what Morgan would want most out of me… and that, is exactly what she is getting.