Today was Saturday and it was quiet, very quiet.  No one out in the street, no noise in the air.  It was still as could be, almost like the Universe was holding its breath.

Tonight Morgan’s sister, and husband are taking us out to dinner to get us out of the house.  They want to try to get us to talk about something other than the tragedy that we have all endured.  They made a dinner reservation at the Redstone Inn, and we went there not thinking that we would see anyone we knew, but we did (that’s this valley for you)…an old friend with her new boyfriend.  She had known Morgan since Morgan was 11 years old, and was so sorry about what had happened to her.  So no matter what people think, as parents in this type of situation you can totally stop thinking about it even for an evening…something or someone will come up to you and it’s like that old saying about the elephant in the room.  So if you are to survive you have to put on your armor and realize you have to push forward, and fight – do the right thing – be the person that has to relive this horrible thing over, and over again with other people until the right authorities are willing to take up the fight with you.

And that became my prayer for the New Year 2012.  We all know now that Morgan’s case did not get opened in 2012, BUT what not many do not know is that in 2012 so many amazing people, and specialists jumped on board our ship to help us get to a point where law enforcement can take up the torch (if they are willing), and bring the guilty parties to court.  It doesn’t matter to me how many people related to, or that are friends of the guilty party, they may try to distract, misdirect, or whatever the new trick of the day might be.  This is a generational thing in my family – it has been going on for many 100’s of years…we never, ever give up.  It is passed down from every mother to every child, and continues today.  It really doesn’t matter how much our local County is trying to cover for itself…the truth will come out, as it always does – eventually if you never give up, and we will NEVER give up – the truth will come out – we will go all the way to DC if we have to, and thank God there is never any time limit put on murder.

A picture that was shared on my facebook and I wanted to share with you.

Morgan loved to write, it was without doubt her first passion.  Photography was climbing quickly, but was still a distant second.  When the detectives told me things right after Morgan’s death I might have not have fully absorbed what they were telling me.  I have been assured many times since then that this is normal.  But when a time came a few weeks after her death that I was told everything had been returned except her diary, that I remember.

The two individual pieces of information did not come together for a while, but as I was packing up Morgan’s room I came across her last diary, and even the one before that.  The last diary she was writing in I will never forget, because instead of keeping it to herself she had been sharing it with me.  It was her future plans, they were as bold and filled with love as Morgan was.  I clearly remembering how proud I was of her as she went over the latest diary entry with me.  What I would not give to see her be able to live out her plans, but no one can do that now. Only right the wrongs, for her and for so many others.

But there I was between Christmas and New Years remembering so vividly her last diary, and suddenly putting it together with the statement that they still had her diary.  What diary did they have?  It was not her last for sure, not even the one before.  I wondered if it was even Morgan’s at all.  She had been involved in a very personal situation with a close friend that had come to involve a diary that did not belong to Morgan, but she was entrusted with and I feared that it was this diary they were referring to.

I wished so much then that there had been more communication with the Coroner or the Sheriffs, but there had not been.  Nobody wanted to talk to us about anything!  They had not talked to any of her doctors, none of her teachers, close friends, and definitely not Steve or I.  There were things that simply could not be just guessed at and as a month had nearly passed since her death I was openly questioning where information about Morgan was coming from, because it was not from any source that would actually know.

And now to think that a diary that was not even Morgan’s could have been mistakenly taken as hers was upsetting to say the least.  The person who’s diary Morgan had was having personal issues.  I asked for the diary, was told they would get it to me, but was never given it back.  If it wasn’t one of Morgan’s I am sure once it is compared to her other diaries they will see the difference in the writing, but then again when will that happen  This is just one more thing that is still outstanding in this case from over a year ago.  On this day Steve and I went to see our grief  counselor again, she couldn’t understand why the communication from Garfield County had been so bad and she said to keep insisting that we get the diary back so we could see if it was hers or not.  We are still to this day trying to get it back.

Today, February 21, 2013 – I just opened up a drawer and came across another card that Morgan had made for me…after I stopped crying I smiled and decided I should share it with all of you.

The back of a Mother’s day card Morgan made for Toni

Today involved the Sheriffs department, but it was a different kind of a day as far as investigations go.  Today did not involve detectives, but the Volunteer Programs Coordinator instead.

He met with Steve and I at the house and gave us a book, we may have already had one, but you could never have too many.  It was a book about what to do now that a loved one is dead, starting with all the practical steps that need to be taken.  I guess as a month after a sudden death approaches it’s time for the survivors to get on with the process of life.

Back then and so many times since I have openly wondered how is it that during the stalking there was nothing.  No real direction, no real plan, certainly not a change in tactics that were yielding nothing.  But after she was dead, there was a book for that.

I didn’t know why or how, but at the time I had feelings that her stalking was directly related to her death.  Nobody on her case seemed to think so. For all of those others who had tried to somehow protect Morgan there seemed to be no doubt that her stalking and her death were in no way related.  While for me I always had a strong feeling that without the stalking Morgan would have never died.  Steve felt the same, we just did not have medical conclusions to back it up…yet.

So we were focused on completing everything that needed completing for Morgan, and it was not easy.

Our program coordinator was also very concerned that we be aware and understanding of our detectives, and possibly even others involved in Morgan’s case.  There was a fear that sometimes officers get too close to the victim, and react badly if they die.  This can really affect their performance in future cases, and can even lead to demotions, and become career ending.

The needed to give our detectives space, and be sure to expect less from them now was discussed.  At the time we had been told Morgan had died from natural causes so it wasn’t really making a lot of sense to me, but I did take the advice to heart.  The situation was bad enough already, and I did not wish in any way for it to become worse.

It was really a deflating, saddening, meeting.  I do not envy the job that he evidently volunteers for.  Positive moments are certainly few and far between.  I had wanted to follow up with the still lingering points of Morgan’s case that I really thought should be brought to a conclusion, but in view of this new advice I decided to put it off until the new year.  It was right around the corner anyway.

Then I could get back to finding out what had happened to Morgan’s missing jewelry, and how the interview went with the friend or a friend who had heard J.H., talking about the stalker, and utter that “now the police know it’s my daughter’s ex-boyfriend.  What exactly did he mean by that?  I had yet to come up with any other explanation than he meant the Sheriffs know that it is K.V.G. just as the detective had told me.

After all of the emotional impact he had on Morgan’s last four months of life – I wanted this to be brought to an end.  But I could wait…thinking it would not be very long.

That was over a year ago.

There was an engaging conversation back in the beginning of November 2011.  If you wish to refresh your memory, Tuesday, November 1st, a person was walking around our house, at night, getting caught on the cameras, and I came to think of it as quite an obvious alibi set up for a number of reasons.  And on top of that a chain of events was set off that night that still resonates today.

We found out right away from E.F. that Keenan VanGinkel was out of town, hunting with his grandfather in Texas to complete the rumor.  Maybe a day or two later we were stopped along a subdivision drive and having a very rare talk with Brooke Harris who, between telling her gathered friends to “shut up” about what they had heard about the stalker, was quick to point out to that she had heard there was now video evidence that exonerated her boyfriend Keenan.  She never really specified exactly what he was “exonerated” from, her word not mine, and even today I have to wonder if that was a big Freudian slip on her part, because in order to be exonerated, I’m pretty sure you have to be convicted first.

We had a brief snowstorm that night, heavy wet snow that accumulated into an inch or two.  Very surprising considering how little time it actually snowed for.  If you look back at the cameras and see what time it starts to snow and then what time the “young woman” walks around the house, and then when it stops snowing, you can’t help but think that the arrival of snow was just about perfect to catch the trail with all the footprints she left in the snow.  The sudden little storm had to have caught them by complete surprise, which is probably why she stopped over on the back side of the berm to text with someone right in the middle of her walk.  May have been to give an update about the weather, and see if they should abort the mission.  But they carried the carefully planned deception through to completion anyway.

Remember the map Steve had handed the deputy?  I’m looking at it right now and the trail of prints in the snow starts right at Brooke Harris’ back door.  I always thought that was a pretty big clue.

And the engaging conversation?  It was one of those Facebook conversations that you can have over days or months, and won’t show up on your “wall’ making it private, until you decide to share it with someone else.  First Morgan’s felony stalking detectives had it, and then late December I got a copy.  Most of the language used wouldn’t be allowed on this blog without heavy redacting, but there were luckily three clips that can be printed as is.

The first one is this:

November 3, 2011

2:06pm

Keenan James Vanginkel

So I just found out way ur talking about. Dude that was like 5 months ago and the cops excluded me out of that cuz I work all night everynight and I’m in Texas right now and at that time I was dating brooke. If I had to guessing would say it was Wiley cuz that started like 3 days after he moved in.

Seems Keenan VanGinkel always had someone else to accuse, even Brooke Harris, wonder if she knows what she’s supposed to have done?  Then a day later, after some real “longshoreman’s talk” he reinforces everything from the first clip and adds some directions so we can find the, “real,” suspect, in Keenan’s never ending misdirection.

November 4, 2011

8:13pm

Keenan James Vanginkel

Idk I heard something happened on Tuesday. I was on my way to Texas Tuesday. There is a teen named Wiley that lives in the middle house at the end of the street that’s the only person I could guess.

And the last clip he wants to be sure that, make no doubt, there are plenty of alibis and plenty of witnesses all lined up already.  But if you didn’t do anything, why do you need plenty of alibis and lots of witnesses?  And why in the world would you need to go all the way to Texas to be exonerated by video evidence?

November 6, 2011

9:26am

Keenan James Vanginkel

Idk why you are giving me so much trouble cuz I have done nothing wrong. For everything u are accusing me of I will have a story for and multiple people to prove that I wasn’t there. But if u don’t stop right now I will press charges against you.

Now Keenan VanGinkel could not have known back then, because I assume he had not seen the wildlife cam photos taken in the driveway, but Wiley is absolutely not the person in front of Steve’s truck, sorry Wiley, but I didn’t want to change a word of the conversation clips.  And Wiley had not moved in to the neighborhood until way after the stalking and terrorization had been going on.

And Keenan VanGinkel also could not have known back then that I would start a blog about Morgan’s stalking and murder.  I didn’t even know, I thought it was just a matter of time and law enforcement would do what they needed to do, and I started this blog to raise awareness.  So I’m very sure he didn’t know.  And he didn’t know either that Morgan’s Stalking Blog would go over 4 million views in over 115 countries – not because I am such a good writer, but because stalking is such an enormous problem, and Morgan’s story hits on a very big chord that runs all the way around the world.

So Keenan VanGinkel had no way of knowing that with all this attention, his mother’s very good friend rumored to be out on the west coast, and his Godmother of all things, would be forced to assume multiple identities on the Internet, and troll every website that mentions Morgan, and the truth about her stalking and murder culled from wildlife cam pictures, video clips, eye witness testimony, forensic evidence, emails, text messages, phone records, Facebook comments, television show appearances, interviews, and even some Sheriff’s evidence – she defends Keenan VanGinkel any way she could.  And as her lies grew bigger, and bigger she would even have to come to claim there was not even a stalking – she says it never happened!

You can see the rather obvious problem when the young man she is so blindly defending admitted he knew all about the stalking a long time ago, he just forgot to tell her he had.  Or maybe in all her excitement, she never asked.  Reminds me of the time Detective Glassmire came back from his interviews of the Harris’.  When Christina Harris claimed that her daughter Brooke Harris was spreading all the false rumors about the stalking, and letting no good deed go unpunished, then Brooke Harris claimed that her mother Christina Harris was spreading all the false rumors about the stalking.  Detective Glassmire found humor in their attempts to cover for themselves, or for each other, and said that, “you’d think they could at least get their lies straight.”

This was one day in Morgan’s Stalking – one day, a few conversations, and a few interviews.  I have to ask, is it just me, or how did Justice for Morgan so cleanly slip from “we are really close to making an arrest” to “we don’t even have a suspect, in fact we never had a suspect?”  Where did Morgan’s rights go?  Because there are a lot of other victims out there, and we better start asking – who’s looking out for their rights?

Weeks ago I thanked supporters of this blog.  Those who have helped us so much with the emotional toll that is faced by anyone in our position, as parents of a child that was violently stalked, and murdered.

But there are so many others who have delved deeply into the medical and investigative mysteries presented by Morgan’s case.  It is not easy on any level for me to learn what they have discovered.  Morgan was not only my little angel, she was the little angel of our family.  She was a person who helped, shared and nurtured so many things in this world that needed a little extra help.  Throughout the grieving of her passing all of us have had an especially hard time with discoveries of just how Morgan was treated after all of the caring that she gave so freely to others.

I have read a story recently about the victims of the Batman theater massacre in Aurora, CO, and how all their information must now be redacted from court documents because these victims, and their loved ones, who without doubt have suffered mightily since that night, and the many days that followed the shooting, and are now apparently being senselessly harassed and attacked on the Internet.  I wonder how anyone could find a justification for doing this?  Why would you attack the victims of a crime?

In Morgan’s case there have also been those who have chosen to harass and verbally attack Morgan, Steve, I, her extended family, and other supporters, victims who’s only wish is to have an investigation of her case.    But after reading about how it is happening in the Batman shootings, which is just entering its infancy in court, I wonder much more about those who would do the same to Morgan.  What really is their true motivation for this?

Do they support the rights of stalkers?  Do they simply question the truth?  Are they so blindly devoted to the perpetrator of this crime that they never question what others are saying?  While I agree there are most certainly two sides to every story, there is also obvious facts that will not change.  A house painted bright red will, after all, always be a house painted bright red, and arguing that fact seems a bit disingenuous.

The reality in Morgan’s case is that many of the real facts of her case remain known to only a very few.  So how is it, you might wonder, that so many can purport to have complete knowledge, and the true story of what happened, when they simply can not?  I think there are very few reasons to engage is such behavior.  And before I get a flood of demands to “give out all the evidence or I will have or face the consequences”, once again, I will not.  These are decisions for others to make, not me alone, and in a court of law, because it shall be there, so very sadly, that the end of Morgan’s life here with us will be played out.

Morgan was the victim in this saga, Steve and I were also victims, along with so many others, siblings, nieces, nephews, cousins, Grandparents, Godparents, Aunts, Uncles, and friends, who all knew and loved sharing her presence, but now must make do with only the memories.  For me personally, the need to prevent this from happening to others is very strong.  The need to raise awareness of the true dangers of stalking is very strong.  And the need for changes that will see that this is all taken so much more seriously by those that were empowered to prevent it from the beginning, is very strong.

There is a very poignant story to tell about the life of our daughter Morgan, that will be shared on the day her Foundation officially launches, which I hope will be soon.  Until then, thank all of you who have helped with trying to bring true closure to Morgan’s stalking and her most untimely death.

Your dedication here helps all victims of stalking so much, because as I am discovering now more than ever,  so many victims either feel that or actually are – not believed – until it is too late in some cases.  And for victims to be believed is the first step to ending this horrible crime against them.

MORGAN WOULD WISH FOR THE VOICES OF ALL
THE VICTIMS TO BE HEARD !!!