When Morgan was 17 she wrote a poem for me for Mothers Day (she always made handmade presents, or wrote things for everyone, buying presents wasn’t personal enough for Morgan, she always gave you a piece of herself) – I haven’t shared it up until now, because it was just a private present from Morgan to me, but since I am going to start to share more, and more of Morgan, how she thought about things, how she was, etc. I thought it’s time I share this with everyone.

My dearest Mother

She is a piece of work

We rarely get along

For all of our flaws

She bites her nails

And cuticles too

And that drives me crazy

Wouldn’t it you?

She’s been there for me always

But that’s not why I love her

You see, I love my mother

For more than she could know

I love my mother

For the strengths that she shows

It drives me crazy when she won’t shut up

And it does me in when she worries too much

But I love my mother

For every single time

That anything got in my way

And she turned into a beast

A beast that is loud, obnoxious and wild

A beast that wouldn’t stop for the world

This beast is no friend of mine

And I hate it sometimes

But this beast, my mother

Is there rain or shine

This beast, would take out the world for me

Even if I don’t see it all the time

I love you mother

That one thing is true

I love you

For just being you

I cry every time I read this because it is so true, I am not perfect, Morgan was not perfect (but pretty darn close), but we loved each other so very much, no matter what…isn’t that true for all of us parents?  Wouldn’t most parents that love their children jump in front of a bus to save them?  Wouldn’t most parents give up their last breath for their child?  And the thing that hurts the most is that in my gut I felt the danger getting closer that final week, and that one night I let down my guard too much, and a terrible evil entered our house, and the beast in me that Morgan had come to rely on to protect her wasn’t ready – I feel like I failed her, but I now know that I couldn’t have protected her from evil every day of her life, and if evil wanted to extinguish her light it eventually would, unless it was stopped first.  That is such a hard thing for me to accept, but I now know it in my heart to be true.

So searching my soul I know that I can never bring Morgan back, but we can keep fighting for justice for Morgan, we can keep fighting (and I can be the beast she loved, because I know she wants me to be just that) for others, and to really try to change the world.  Like I said before – there are laws every day being written and put on the books, but if law enforcement doesn’t follow those laws, the protection will not be there.  I feel very strongly that is where we need to start – to bring this education to law enforcement, and to require accountability, that they hold up the laws that are required in their state.  If law enforcement takes stalking seriously, and follows the laws that have been enacted to protect the victims, then there is a greater chance that victims will know what to do to protect themselves, and law enforcement will be able to stop a violent act before it happens.  I pray that change is made, and I will do anything in my power to bring about that change.