December 22, 2015 – Missing Morgan

Another day, as we get closer to the end of the year, and wondering why it is taking so long to get an investigation officially open in Morgan’s case…and at the same time knowing the “why.”  It’s just that I understand the “why” is important, I get that, but at the same time it seems so unfair that it is taking this long.

I miss Morgan’s little feet in her ballet shoes, up on her toes (as in the picture below).  I remember being in the kitchen making dinner and she would walk into the kitchen in her ballet shoes, up on her toes, and show me the latest thing she accomplished in ballet.  She was so happy, and she was proud of herself, and always wanted to share with me.  It is times like this morning that I just want to scream out that it is NOT fair!  It is NOT right!

I want Morgan back.  No one had the right to horrifically take her life her against her will – no one!   But they did, and now we are all left with a gigantic hole in our hearts.

We miss you Morgan…justice for Morgan!

Ballet Dancer

Another Memory With Morgan…

Memory of a fun vacation in Las Vegas…tickets for Phantom of the Opera, amazing dinner at the new Mario Batali’s restaurant, along with so many other adventures.  I loved our vacations together.  Today I am grateful for such wonderful memories with Morgan.

Morgan, Steve, me & Ryan (Morgan’s big brother)

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HAPPY FATHER’S DAY (or) instead Wishing You A Peaceful Father’s Day.

Morgan 743 copyMorgan 743 copyHappy Father’s Day to all the wonderful dads out there.  You are so very special and your children will NEVER forget how much you mean to them.

Just like her older sister, Morgan was a Daddy’s girl…she adored her dad.  He misses Morgan more than words can express.  Today is hard for him…Morgan ALWAYS spent Father’s Day with him, she never missed one year, and now he feels the pain of never being able to spend another Father’s Day with her.  He feels blessed to have Morgan’s older and sister in his life, along with our 2 grandchildren.  They all bring delight into his life.  But when you lose a child nothing can replace that hole in your heart, and you will never be the same as you were before that loss.

So when you see a father that has lost his child, instead of wishing them a Happy Father’s Day maybe you can say, ““I am thinking about you on this difficult day and wish you a “Peaceful Father’s Day.”  I know it’s difficult for others to know what to say to parents that have lost a child, but please don’t ignore them because of it.  They still need people in their lives, they still want people to acknowledge that they have lost their child, but are still there for them.  On so many days these parents are just trying to get through the day – just like anyone else they love feeling cared about so you really can help them by just being there for them.

Always appreciate every moment of every day – you will never again be able to recreate that same moment…things can change at any time.  Enjoy life. <3

2 little girls

10 Black Vultures – What Did It Mean?

Back in March Steve & I were talking out on our back patio.  Actually Steve was doing all the talking, and I was distracted by a little bird.  The day before I had asked Morgan for a sign and now I was watching this little bird hop down from the fence onto the hillside, and all the time it seemed to be watching me.  I smiled at it while Steve continued to talk.  The little bird hopped closer and closer, I thought this was a sign that Morgan was sending to me, but I wasn’t expecting what happened next.

All of a sudden the little bird flew up into the air and over the fence.  If I hadn’t been watching it the whole time while it as on the ground my eyes would not have followed it back up to the sky, and I would have missed the most amazing thing…now I could see 10 huge black colored birds circling in the sky, slowly getting closer and closer.  They were black vultures, with wings that looked as though they were tipped in gold.  They appeared in the sky above me soaring on the wind currents. I have never seen anything like it before.  They floated in a large circular pattern coming closer and closer, never flapping their wings, and then minutes later they floated away.  That was just the beginning of the things I was being shown. It was an amazing, and wonderful site. I am so happy that a little bird showed me where to look.  This experience felt like it was a sign from Morgan – a graceful and wondrous performance in the sky. The number 10 has always been a number that Morgan has “shown” me since her passing.  It has been so frustrating because I have never been able to understand exactly what it means.  I believe it has many different meanings, as I have come to realize over the last three plus years.  So for me this performance in the sky seemed to be in a form of a symbolic message.

black vulture

I had never seen Black Vultures before.  I was fascinated and wanted to be able to identify what type of birds these were.  After seeing so many hawks and eagles in Colorado I assumed these were some type of hawk.  After doing the research I discovered they were Black Vultures.  My first thought was, “How could these beautiful, graceful birds be vultures?”

One of the first things you notice that is different about the Black Vulture is that they have white on the underside of their wings, but only at the wingtips.  They also hold their wings level while soaring so you don’t see them tipping from side-to-side.  And their tail is much stubbier than that of a turkey vulture.

When looking into the symbolic meaning of vultures I found that vultures are considered a promise that difficulty is temporary and essential for a greater purpose. This is very relevant to what Steve & I have been going through in regards to our quest for justice for Morgan.  It has been an extremely hard road, both physically & emotionally, but so many positive things, things that ultimately are for the greater good of others, have come out of our quest, and to be honest, if things had been different and easier for us those positive things would never have taken place.

Vultures are highly resourceful and many cultures also believe the vulture symbolizes protection. Some would wear black vulture feathers for protection. The ancient culture of the native people of America used to interpret the flight patterns of the vulture to forecast the weather. They also related them to the dawn of the new day.  I found this to be interesting because as I watched this beautiful arial show, an amazing blanket of love and the feeling of being safe, floated over me.  So for now I will no longer try to analyze the meaning behind this wonderful event that I was obviously meant to see…for now I am just grateful that a little bird caught my eye and led me to this most wondrous sign.

May your day be full of miracles.

Missing Morgan’s Smile

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