Really, at this point I should not be surprised that what is written on your blog does further validate that in every stalking situation, there are similarities, but I always am. I guess when you’ve lived a life of good, law abiding, sheltered happiness, having to face this reality and “world” is trying to make sense of senseless – and you can’t. The more sense I try to make of it; the more I ask “why me” (even when I know the answer), the less sense it all makes. The good people of the world just cannot see — until disaster hits — that some live their lives with one goal in mind: evil.

I always knew that evil existed (9/11 was a wake up call for those that needed a reminder on a large scale), but it is so easy to say “well, bad stuff won’t happen to me.” It sounds so cliche, but it screams how anyone can become a victim of stalking. And the more we think “it can’t happen to me,” the more we plaster “target” on our backs.

I read quite a bit of the police report that is out there about Morgan’s case and as I read, I shook my head. Not in a bad way or in any way that blames your family (victims are NEVER to blame and I stand by that a billion fold). I just saw, like in my situation, Morgan not wanting to “make a big deal of it” in the times when it wasn’t as bad and being scared witless when it was bad. I get it — even if those that judge you and have never been through this, do. When I look back over 7 years with the radio station (5 years with —- in the mix), it was all toxic from the start. Even before —- entered the picture, I contacted the radio station; they claimed to have discovered me. They invited me to the event in 2007 where I met —- (so really THEY put me in the situation). The next year, they blamed me for broadcast screw ups when I was nowhere near the broadcast area and when I came forward to discuss and address what happened to me — which I would do again, no question — it was “let me help you and then, we’ll set you up and make you look like the crazy one.”

It takes incredible strength to stand up to abuse; I think when you come from a good background and deal with it, you instinctively know it’s wrong and that makes it easier to come forward. Some victims in long-standing narcissistic/sociopathic relationships are content to stay there; most aren’t. I’ve had nightmares the last two nights NOT about — or the stalking, but the wishy-washy nature of company I worked for. That, in and of itself, is telling. The fact they have chosen to protect evil and praise it with a promotion is pathetic. But, back to my point, I didn’t want to make a big deal of —-‘s flirtations, even if logic says a 52-57 year old (span the 5 years) having any feelings towards a 26-31 year old is bizarre. Logic, then, says, “Oh, it’s nothing,” until it is something. I shutter to think how much worse it would have gotten for me had I not put my foot down when I did. If I had gone to his lakehouse; if I had stayed in the mess just 3 weeks longer and he would have kept lying (as I know now) about his girlfriend moving out. As beaten down as he made me and brainwashed into doing whatever he wanted, in an effort to save myself; I just can’t think what would have happened, even if deep down I know. It is a scary reality that you know all too well. I sit here and say “Would he have killed me?” I can’t answer it. But, I have no doubt – had it continued – he would have either coerced me into coming to his lakehouse on the guise of a vacation from the stress or he would have shown up here, he would have pursued something sexual, I would have tried fighting him off – which would not have worked – and who knows…. women are killed every day, fighting for their protection.

So much more needs to be done in education across the board — law enforcement; even teach courses at schools because your prime target range is the young, inexperienced population. At 26 when it started, I was a little outside the typical target age; at 52, —- was way beyond being close in age, but how many other times has he done this, while younger? You have to wonder and you know he has. It’s just amazing, looking back on it, how —- was able to tell me openly how he was tested in school for potential problems, how he left the first wife for the second and has cheated numerous times, the drug bust on TV, etc. and yet in his “act weird/then normal/then weird” nature, to convince me he was NOT a problem. Never again will I ignore the gut instinct that screamed at me that first day. Lesson learned. Anyhow, you may have made mistakes in not always calling the police soon enough or what not, but you probably didn’t want to overreact either and I understand that, all too well and that’s not your fault, even in Morgan’s death. You could have called the cops sooner and it may not have made a difference; the stealth nature of these sick individuals is uncanny.

I don’t think there is anyone that has ever been through any stalking situation that has come through it with the same viewpoint as before. It changes you in ways that I’m still learning. I’m more compassionate towards victims like the Penn State case than I used to be (I was always the first to say that some victim coming forward 15 years later does so for money; then, I blocked the worst of what happened to me from my mind, unable to discuss the worst for the pain of it all for 3 months of being free from it — something which, according to my therapist, is totally normal. The body shocks and blocks out pain until we’re able to cope.); my neighbor – down the street – came up to ask a question, caught me off guard, wrapped his arm around me and I nearly decked him, swearing at him even to get his hands off me. —- never actually touched me, but he touched a place deeper within me that is scarred now.

I blamed myself for the longest time for lying to —- about being in a relationship when I wasn’t, back in 2008 after Dad died. My therapist told me to knock that off. She said “Women lie every day to protect the feelings of those they don’t want to date; it’s normal.” The fact, looking back now, that he communicated with me before Dad passed, but waited until Dad’s death to ramp up the insanity tells me that he likely researched our family too, saw Dad was ex-law enforcement (if I didn’t tell him) and he knew the minute Dad was gone, a piece of my safety was too. I rejected him then, as I did 5 other times; so he waited until 2 weeks after Mom’s pacemaker surgery (which he called “scary” when it wasn’t at all) and over Christmas, which he knew was tough, to catch me totally off guard. A true pro and like you, I can see Keenan being a young terror in the making, if you can ever get anyone to listen. It saddens me that Morgan ID’d him and that wasn’t enough to save her life. So much more work in training the public and law enforcement needs done. This happens far too often.

Steve mentioned Jessica Ridgeway and that story broke my heart. When I think back to the Jon Benet Ramsey case (and I never believed the Ramseys killed their daughter) and think of how Colorado law enforcement humiliated and shamed them over the years, it infuriates me more that law enforcement in the same state is railroading your need to get this investigation re-opened as well. The case isn’t closed when it isn’t solved and there are too many variables here still unsolved (and yes, I’ve signed the petition).

I don’t claim to know everything and I’m still working my way through the aftermath of it all myself, but 4 or 5 days after —- basically asked permission to stalk me online (despite knowing he’d already done it — listening to my gut at last), I thought of it as bad enough that I could not face the aftermath alone and those around me — friends and family even, would struggle to understand how I felt. I voluntarily put myself into counseling and as my therapist has said in calling me her “star patient” because I have worked so, so hard, no one goes to therapy willingly if they’re guilty and no narcissist or sociopath will ever willingly go to therapy. Even when they do, therapy actually teaches them how to better cover their tracks or it puts the mask back in place. There is no cure for sociopaths. The best thing to do is run when you recognize them, but when you don’t recognize them, it’s hard. Education needs done, across the board.

Today was a very busy Friday, and I have pushed back from my desk and am taking a few moments and thinking of Morgan.  Spring is here and the snow is all gone from the yard, not a single patch left, green will soon replace the many shades of brown that dominate now.

Morgan loved the snow and told all her friends how much she loved falling snow.  She loved to try to catch a flake on her tongue with a smile so big it was contagious to anyone who saw it.  I like to think about her love for catching snowflakes on her tongue because it is something she and her father did often when she was young.  It’s hard to catch a snowflake on your tongue sometimes, and it became a little challenge she carried with her for the rest of her life.

The simple things in life were all so Morgan, because it was all she really needed, the simple things.  To paint, capture an image with a camera, walk her puppy to the park, sketch, knit, and crochet mittens for a gift – these were all the simple things she enjoyed.  Camping with her friends… she had an old Landrover with over 300,000 miles and absolutely loved that no matter where the “boys” brought her she would never get stuck, and she would get to look back when they got stuck, and ask “what’s the matter?”

Steve and I were so enormously blessed to have Morgan in our lives for 20 years. It is too easy to forget the true joy she gave us, and I have to do a better job of remembering.

Who knows what would have been her next adventure, but I bet it would have been something simple, and you know it would have been great.

Morgan with her keyboard and a pile of sheet music. Pure joy for her.

Morgan had a chance to accuse with very good reason, completely justified, and it fell on deaf ears.  And just like so many other stalking victims that are not taken seriously by law enforcement, now Morgan has had all she ever had taken from her – her life, and is there any possible level on which that is really remotely fair?  Steve and I will never stop fighting for our youngest daughter.  Morgan has not been treated with fairness by those whose responsibility it was all the way back when she was being horrifically stalked, and dutifully reporting it, and in all the time since her death.

Meanwhile the accusations have been flying – for well over a year now, so many it is hard to keep track of them all, but it had to start somewhere, and I believe the first accusation came from Morgan, and it was about her stalker, could that possible be a surprise to someone?

Morgan told Steve and I, and then the deputies about someone tapping, and banging on her window, but when it first started she had no idea who it was.  She was really scared and didn’t know why this was happening.  She was sure of the tapping, and banging noises she heard.  As it went on she became more frightened, especially after we ruled out trees, small animals, and anything else we could think of that could have had an innocent reason to cause these sounds.

After seven days of trying to solve the mystery noises ourselves, we called the Sheriffs, and the wheels of justice in Garfield County were set into motion on August 9th 2011.  They reprimanded us for waiting so long to call it in.  What else can I say?  I guess maybe they are not very good wheels.

The first task they gave Morgan was to suggest possible suspects, ex-boyfriends, strangers she noticed, it was probably someone she knew, all the usual basic advice.  The deputies did their absolute best, and I will always say they were just saddled with a protocol that, unfortunately for Morgan, did not stand much of a chance against her stalker(s).  They tried a photo lineup that they showed her, but there was no one she recognized.  They surmised almost from the start he/she lived in the very immediate area and ran the plates of most vehicles in the neighborhood.

And then Morgan discovered, thanks to Elliott (our neighbor across the street), that Keenan had moved into the neighborhood just before the stalking started (actually 3 houses down from us), and Morgan immediately sent an email to a deputy, she had seen Keenan once, but did not know him, she had asked her friends about Keenan, as he gave her a bad feeling, and based on what she knew and was told, if they were looking for a possible suspect, they had one now, and Morgan accused Keenan of being her prime suspect.

And then came the accusing,from those who had no business accusing.

Keenan, of course, did some accusing, Keenan first accused Christina Harris as being the source of his knowledge about the stalking – he also accused her of being the neighborhood gossip (you can read this is the police reports).  Brooke Harris was evidently quick to join in on this one, also accusing her mother, Christina Harris of being the source of all her knowledge of the stalking (this is also in the police reports).

James Harris, Brooke’s father, interestingly enough, told detectives that he had heard all about the stalking, not from Christina (his estranged wife, that lived two houses down from him at the time), but from neighbors (this was in the police reports as well), of course I suppose he could have considered her a neighbor.  James Harris was interviewed by the felony stalking detective (as his daughter Brooke was under 18 at the time and considered a suspect in Morgan’s gang stalking (again, this is in the police reports).  Just to be doubly sure, James questioned a few deputies in the neighborhood because of the stalking, and was filled in by them on the stalking, he even admitted to a detective that he knew, from the deputies, that Keenan was “a person of interest”. This is very important, because on the Dr. Phil show, not sure if it made it on to the episode, or it was cut, but James Harris accused me of not telling him about the stalking, claiming at the time he knew nothing about it.  Quite indignant that I did not tell him about such an important thing, until I reminded him that deputies had surrounded his house one evening, returned to questioned him later, as well as his daughter, and at some point he went silent, and a little pale, if you were standing right next to him.

James Harris also accused Steve and I of being overprotective, claiming he had heard it from someone.  This was just days before Morgan was killed!  And we were overprotective?  I hardly think that is even open for discussion.

James Harris also accused Keenan of being a little possessive with his daughter Brooke, and made the accusation that it was the reason for their breakup (this can be read in the police reports).  Just for the record being overbearing and/or possessiveness is considered a trait of stalkers.  Brooke, for her part, accused another ex-boyfriend of being possessive, and overbearing, she told the detective she wasn’t referring to Keenan, but didn’t say who she was referring to.

Somewhere in here, Christina accused her daughter Brooke of being the source of all her knowledge of the stalking – the stalking that James didn’t know anything about, just to keep the story straight for everyone.  And James also defends Keenan, saying he was a “good kid” and “responsible” and just to keep it straight once again, this was right before Keenan was arrested on a warrant on stolen jewelry charges, and found to have drugs in his trunk prepackaged for sale, and was arrested on a felony charge of possession with intent to distribute.

Before this arrest, Keenan accused a neighbor of being the stalker, of course the person he accused did not match the photos of the stalker (not even close), caught by our surveillance system, nor was he living in the neighborhood during the first month and a half of the stalking, but then Keenan was actually quite a good match for the same photos.  Some are very certain it is Keenan in the photos.  And of course Morgan was followed in her car multiple times and identified Keenan to her felony stalking detective.

And on the morning Morgan was found, dead, a story was shared with me, and then verified, that James Harris accused the police of thinking at one time that he was the stalker, but then added that now they knew it was his daughter Brooke’s ex-boyfriend.  Yes, the same Keenan that was a “good kid” and “responsible”, and the same Keenan that was “a person of interest”, according to Jim and actually a SUSPECT, the PRIME SUSPECT in fact, mentioned as a SUSPECT by the sheriffs far more than the fifty plus times that were at our house and never saw a stalker.  And the same James Harris who would go on the Dr. Phil Show and claim that he had no idea our neighborhood even had a stalker.  Give me a break,  who is accusing who, and why are so many tales being concocted by a certain group of people all trying to point the finger at anyone but themselves?

If it was your daughter that was killed, wouldn’t you get frustrated, and upset with all this at some point?  And by the way, just in case you are wondering, their was no investigation into Morgan’s murder, because remember the forensic pathologist stated she died from natural causes for the first 8 1/2 months after her death, so the sheriff’s did not investigate any murder.  That must have made her murderer happy – don’t you think?

Morgan who can no longer speak for herself, identified her stalker many times.  She stopped and got out of her car while he was following her to absolutely, positively identify that it was Keenan following her in his car.  Morgan would also positively Identify him many times after that in incidents that would cause her to suffer serious emotional distress, the standard to establish stalking guilt here in Colorado.  And in the week before she was to go in for a videotaped interview with the Sheriff’s Detective, actually five days before, Morgan was killed in her room.

I knew so painfully well that many things had to change in Colorado after Morgan’s death.  Through this blog about her stalking I have found that it is not just Colorado that needs help, it is our entire county, and then the world.  Safety for our children is not too much to ask.  Being safe ourselves should not be too much to ask either.  And as Steve and I have found out through endless accusations – truth and honesty for all the victims should also not be too much to ask.

This is far more than just a fair question, it is an assessment that has to be made because your safety will ultimately depend on knowing.  Morgan’s stalker was reputed to have problems at school, and be more of a loner than “a group player”.  These are both common traits of stalkers, even serial killers, and while they are great to know, let’s focus on just “smarts”.

Her stalker had hunting “smarts” a trophy hunter for many years.  Bow hunting deer, a Buck, 5X5 at 288 yards with one shot. Wild boar, Alligator, not a little one, 12 – 15 feet I believe.  Wall to wall in my bedroom, most other bedrooms too, I certainly would not want to tangle with that, Steve either.  This along with many other “kills”.

This hunting “smarts” portends of great concealment skills, the ability to avoid detection, while detecting the prey at the same time.  Cornering it, stalking it, tracking it, anything needed for one clean shot.

Steve knows some avid bow hunters, and they tell stories of remaining motionless for hours as the prey approaches.  Just part of the kill, being able to conceal yourself, and then to remain motionless behind a stand of bushes, or inside a stand of bushes, or even somewhere up in a tree.  Does anyone really wonder how Morgan’s stalker managed to avoid the Sheriffs so completely?  Really?  It was child’s play for a young man with his hunting smarts.

Steve and I had no idea this is what we were dealing with.  That knowledge could have been put to use to protect Morgan, but it was not.  The Sheriffs were at the house a few times to “stake out” Morgan’s stalker.  One of the few times we watched a deputy on a video camera for around a half hour.  Amazing how well the light from a cell phone pierces the night when someone is texting.  And the glow in the dark Sheriff’s logo on the back of the uniform – really is that concealment?  Sincerely I hope the goal was not to hide out in our yard, but then why else would you stand there for a half hour?  I have not found a supplemental report on the “stake out” yet so I guess I have to guess what he was doing out there.  And of course I must also wonder if it was one of the fifty times the Sheriff’s were at our house, and did not see a sign of a stalker.

Morgan’s stalker had high skills of concealment without doubt.  But that was at night.  Morgan saw him, many times, during the day.  Why do those reports seem to not be showing up anywhere?  If it was during the day does that make him not a criminal. a felon,  because that is what seems to have happened, at least so far it has.

Keenan’s boss at work gave him high praise, as an employee and a person.  Mere weeks later he was in cuffs along main street Glenwood Springs after selling a trove of treasure at a “cash for gold store”, turned out to be stolen.  During his arrest for that a trunk of drugs was found in his car, all prepackaged for sale, along with a scale, and other drug paraphernalia.  All this right after high praise from his boss at work, and even though Morgan had told her felony stalking detective that she had heard that her stalker was a drug dealer.  I have been told that his boss is an Uncle, after I included that fact in a post I was corrected that he was an Uncle by marriage.  Whichever, by marriage or not, would this give him incentive to exaggerate for his young nephew?  I also wonder if Mogan’s detective, Detective Glassmire knew all this. Actually I know he did not know about the arrest in Glenwood, because I was the one who told him months after it happened.

Using friends is smart, not just any friends either, friends that will help you out of a scrape with the law, cover for you, that is true criminal friend smarts.  Keenan managed to move in right down the street during the stalking, living with his new girlfriend, Brooke Harris.  She covered for him, wouldn’t let the Sheriffs in to talk with him.  The Deputies heard loud noises in the house, and asked about them at the front door, but Brooke said he was sleeping.  Christine Harris, Brooke’s mom spread rumors around the neighborhood to help cover up Keenan’s actions.  And Jim Harris, Brooke’s dad, admits to knowing Keenan was thought to be the stalker by the Sheriffs and let him stay at his house.  That all exhibits people smarts to me.  How to use them, get them to cover for you, etc.

More than once an investigator we have talked with has told Steve and I that a nineteen year old is not capable of all this, even part of it, there was an adult involved.  Austin Sigg, the prime suspect in the Jessica Ridgeway murder, and dismemberment is reputed to be 17 years old.  A perplexing question, are the investigators who suggest a nineteen year old is not capable of carrying out a murder with the sophistication of Morgan’s murder right or was there an adult involved too?

For Austin Sigg, this is not the only crime he is suspected of.  On May 28, 2012, a 22-year-old woman fought off a stranger who grabbed her from behind, and put a rag over her mouth. She told police the rag smelled of chemicals.  There was NO TEST conducted to see if a rag containing chemicals was placed over Morgan’s mouth on the night she was killed.  Just speaking hypothetically if a seventeen year old is allegedly capable of this wouldn’t the prime suspect in Morgan’s case, a nineteen year old, be capable?  Or would adult help be needed?  I truly wonder.

Another most important fact from the Jessica Ridgeway case is that Austin Sigg is reported to have confessed the crime to his mother, and then she reported the crime to the police – part of the solution, not part of the problem.  Has Keenan said anything to anyone, and are these individuals “clamming up”?  In the world of criminal smarts I would think that nothing would be told to anyone, although I have heard that he has bragged about the crime to others.

But then if his mother did know anything would she report it to the authorities?  She denies he ever had behavioral issues in grade school, the perfect student.  Why does nobody else in his class that I have spoken with agree with that statement?  If she won’t admit that he got into fights in grade school I doubt she is reporting anything.  Keenan plea-bargained his most recent arrest in Glenwood Springs – which, as it has been explained to me, means he admitted to some things, and others were dropped.  He was never “cleared” of anything as his mother would like the world to believe.

Cleared of all charges, never mentioned as a suspect in Sheriff’s reports, never had any problems in grade school, sound asleep – can’t be woken up for a talk with Sheriff’s Deputies.  See how this all works?  Unless you are part of the solution, you are part of the problem.  Very disturbing how easy it is to lie, mothers covering for sons, girlfriends covering for their boyfriends, mother’s of girlfriends cooking up stories, fathers of girlfriends sliping-up and admitting who the stalker was.  Yet nobody ever calls the authorities to report anything.  That is criminal smarts to surround yourself with people like that – don’t you think?

And to ignore that your stalker is smart – that is tombstone mentality – which I am embarrassed to admit that Steve and I had.  Please don’t allow yourselves to underestimate your stalker, his criminal intelligence will be inscribed in everything he does, pay attention to it.