To the untrained eye…

tceye

To us everything looked wrong, horribly wrong.  Were Steve and I fighting a realization from the very first instant?  Did we see and know more than we could process?  I believe so, a year and a half later strange as it sounds I can think back on that day, and remember details that I could not at all in the first few weeks.  At the beginning Steve and I were in some internal turmoil to come to grips with the fact that our daughter was dead, and we focused immediately on her, not things around her, then came shock.  But we did register the facts, far more that we would have ever realized.  I don’t know how it is for others faced with this kind of situation, but that is how it has been for Steve and me.

After that meeting with Morgan’s doctor in Los Angeles, and homicide became a certainty in her opinion, a lot of different questions started coming up.  First was the obvious, was someone in her room?  And then questions centered on Wylah, Morgan’s puppy, a little over 6 months old that morning.  Why didn’t Wylah sound the alarm the night before if someone was in her room?  How could she have never made a sound, never barked? It seemed to rule out an intruder actually in her room that night.  I’m reading a book on crime scene investigation, and this is a common mistake.  As in MISTAKE!  We did not have an answer for months until Steve was talking with an investigator (not a Garfield County Sheriffs Department investigator), and their conversation was very slow and relaxed, detail by detail, and Steve remembered Wylah, sitting on the bed in the morning, looking dazed, and motionless as the activity by first responders was frenetic.  They rushed in and backed out of the room as Wylah looked on in silence, he pictured it perfectly.  He remembers asking a first responder if he should get Morgan’s pets out of the room for them.  He glanced at Wylah just sitting there on the bed and said no.

While that alone does not prove someone was in Morgan’s room it’s an example of how using the dog’s lack of barking to rule out an intruder was so short-sighted, and displayed poor investigative skills on our part.  Now I’ll give you another example.

A Garfield County Detective Sergeant noted in his report from the death scene some, “blanching on her chest area, and left arm as she had been reportedly found lying on her stomach.”  Morgan was found on her side, not her stomach.  Position of the body at the time of discovery – completely wrong.  Does it matter? YES!  I have been told that bodies on their side do different things and present differently than bodies on their stomach.  As more and more facts come my way it seems as if every tiny detail has significance in a thorough investigation.

I was the one that found her and Steve was there right after, and we are both absolutely sure of the position Morgan was in.  When I saw the first PER I noted the wrong body position being put in the report, among many other mistakes, and wrote around a six page letter correcting every one.

What kind of investigation can be expected when the position of the body, when first discovered, can not be ascertained from the first person who saw her, and then correctly shared with the other investigators?  Perhaps that’s just another reason the Honorable DA decided that the Sheriff’s Department had completely botched the crime scene.  Or maybe he was told the correct position, and he just forgot.  But since Morgan only had about a paragraph or two of his time he should have at least gotten the facts right.

Then came the statement that I don’t know how to respond to.  To an untrained eye such as Steve and I must possess we see signs there was a struggle in Morgan’s room, it did not look as it had the day before, or the night before.  Panic button torn from the nightstand, thrown aside with her clothes piled on top of it, jewelry boxes emptied of valuable jewelry, why were piles of freshly laundered, and folded clothes the night before all knocked over, on and on.   But to the trained eye of a Garfield County Sheriff Detective he sees one thing – “Her bedroom was in disarray, slovenly in fact. There were numerous items on the floor.”

SO – My daughter had been stalked for four months, the Tuesday before her death, only two days, our detective had proclaimed 100% certainty that Keenan VanGinkel was her stalker. He had stated the stalking was going to escalate on that same day. Officers on stepped up patrols were searching exclusively up on the roof with their search light the night of her murder. According to official reports, our Detective notes that he divulged the date of Morgan’s interview with the Sheriffs department to James Harris, AKA Jim Harris approximately a week before she was killed. This has been identified as a huge rookie mistake, endangering the victim.  James certainly talks to his daughter Brooke Harris, and she would pass this bit along to the prime suspect Keenan VanGinkel.  It is not too far of a stretch to think Keenan also knew that the interview of Morgan had the potential to sink him.  Was that more motivation to murder our daughter?

Through the ordeal that was her stalking, Morgan had lost interest in her room, remember she spent large periods of time sleeping in our closet – because she didn’t feel safe in her room – because she was suffering serious emotional distress.  The General Assembly of Colorado recognizes that stalking involves highly inappropriate intensity, persistence, and possessiveness, it entails great unpredictability and creates great stress, and fear for the victim.  Also that stalking involves severe intrusions on the victim’s personal privacy and autonomy, with an immediate and long-lasting impact on quality of life.  And remember one of Morgan’s routines was to clean her room on Fridays?

Morgan’s life has been turned completely upside down.  Victims rights promises that she will be treated with fairness, respect, and dignity.  All this and an honest to God sworn to protect us Garfield Sheriff’s Detective looks at Morgan’s room, her dead body lying on the floor and takes notes, he knows, or should have known all of the facts presented here and he produces a report that claims to provide his knowledge and insight.  He sees Morgan’s room as “in disarray,” with “numerous items on the floor.”  A struggle?   No he sees or notes no sign of one of those.  If Morgan was ever in a do or die, brief struggle for her life she might well have ended up with blood in her mouth, a thumb sized bruise on her forehead, abrasions on her hand, torn nails, and yes her room might have even gotten a little disarray, with items on the floor, whole piles of laundry knocked over onto the floor.

And not many people except the Garfield Sheriffs detectives and Kennan’s family and friends can process all this information, and find nothing wrong – no need to even open an investigation – absolutely nothing to follow up on.  And the stalker & peeping tom that for four months that terrorized Morgan and our family?  No need to catch him either, he will never do it again, the residents of the county, all the other young women who live in Garfield are safe.  And of course the stalker could not be the murderer – right?  As stalking and sexual crimes expert, Mark Wynn would say, “that is just tombstone mentality.”

But really I believe the solution lies in actions and answers before her death. Morgan needed her victims rights before she died.  A more inclusive, more thorough investigation of her stalking.  It will be a huge goal, and measure of success for the Morgan Ingram Foundation.

To Morgan’s #Stalker/s and #Murderer/s : here we come…

Camera time again for Morgan

Camera time again for Morgan

Now it’s time to start coming out of the numbing grief that Steve and I have been living through, and doing what our life experiences up to now have taught us – by the end of this summer it will be 2 years since the beginning of the nightmare that we call Morgan’s stalking.  It has been extremely challenging for us to do that which we have managed to accomplish over this time – and we are always mindful that Morgan’s challenge was far greater than ours.

What she went through should never have to happen to another person, not any little bit of it.  Not the stalking, the terror, the peeping tom, the complete invasion of her life, as well as her murder.  What we have all gone through collectively should never have to happen to another family.  It quickly expands beyond the immediate family.  Our friends and relatives have also felt the impact, and been a part of the search for answers.

All of this we intend to change for the positive, as much as possible.  While fear can be so numbing, solutions can be liberating…

Our other kids call us the dynamic duo, but Steve and I know we are not even close.  Looking back there was so much more we could have done this past year and a half, but did not for many reasons … number one, no matter how we slice it , we were destroyed over the loss of our youngest child.  Other unexpected challenges have reared their head as well, but they are behind us now.

Steve and I have discussed how there were times we felt like we were walking through a tunnel with no feeling, no noise, just walking with no destination.  Other times we were so angry, and chose to take it out on each other.  Then there were those times, almost every day, that we suddenly found ourselves crying with a pain that was so deep we had never felt anything like it before, a pain that cannot be described.  We have lost grandparents, parents, good friends before, but loosing our child as we did was far worse, the undercurrent of complete frustration will become more of a motivating force  in the near future I predict.

The good news is thanks to our grief counselor, family, friends and supporters, (so many that we have never even met, but look forward to doing so some day), Steve and I now feel like we have the strength finally to forge forward with Morgan’s investigation… we are armed with far more facts, evidence, and expert opinions that we so sorely lacked at the beginning of our impromptu quest.  Where we struggled, and were uncertain it is far more calming to feel that now we know what to do, and we will do it.

We have become more willing to accept other people’s help – up till now I have been very un-trusting of people.  And I realize now there are so many wonderful people in the world that want to help, and have very specialized talents in order to help.  In doing what we need to get Morgan’s investigation open I truly believe the road map is largely set.  And as we are able to document the successes on our journey then others that are going through a similar situation will actually get help.  Things will change, respect for the law will change, people’s attitudes will change, and our communities will change…all for the better – actually I should say they will become much safer.

Common-sense precautions need to be put in place if we are to have the safe communities to raise our children that we all want.  Steve and I are now embarking on a path of no return.  We are now ready to bring everyone involved to task.  Stay tuned – I promise to let you in on the ride as we move along.

#STALKING: You can make a difference!

 

Morgan's cat Mogwai with her Oud - we have given Morgan's Oud to one of her cousins and he is learning to play it as a tribute to Morgan

Morgan’s cat Mogwai with her Oud – we have given Morgan’s Oud to one of her cousins and he is learning to play it as a tribute to Morgan

I believe we can all individually make a difference when it comes to stalking, and horrible acts being perpetrated on innocent people.  Remember stalking isn’t something that only happens to celebrities, stalking happens to innocent young children, women, as well as men.

People need to rise up and condemn violence – remember what I said in an earlier blog – I believe there are more good people than bad in this world, and if that is true then we must all take a stand, just like our ancestors have done in the past – they stood up for what was right, and created a better world for us in so many ways.  We are not any different from our ancestors, we carry on for them, and trust me they are watching us, and cheering us on.  We can not allow the bullies, stalkers, predators, and criminals of this world to scare us in to submission with their threats. We must all take a stand and say, “I will no longer keep the truth to myself, I want to get involved!”

Sometime in the months following the start of my blog I received an email from a mother that lives in this same valley.  I have written about this in a previous blog so bear with me, I feel like this is very to-the-point…she read the blog, and went to her son’s soccer practice.  She saw a man standing off to the side watching the boys.  Normally she would not have noticed, but after reading the blog she decided that she would get involved, and started to ask all the other parents if they knew the man…they all said no.  She then told her husband to go question the man to see why he was watching the boys, her husband approached the man, asked him “nicely” if he was related to, or knew one of the boys, and at that time the man took off running.  Now maybe this was innocent “doubtful”, but she said she was so happy that she got involved…what if the practice ended, everyone left, and one little boy’s parents were late picking him up?  Could he have been abducted?  We will thankfully never know, because this amazing woman put aside her fear of getting involved, and did a positive thing.

Morgan’s stalking was a tragedy in the making, we just didn’t know it at the time.  The Forensic Pathologist Dr. Kurtzman called her death “natural” which was not the case, and this misled the Sheriff’s, so Morgan’s investigation was dropped – no victim – no stalker to arrest…very, very wrong.  Not only was the stalker not arrested, but Steve and I are victims as well, and we are still alive.  By misleading the Sheriffs this sent a dangerous message to the public – even your safety, and security will be met with virtual silence from our County.  Is this what the people want?  I don’t think so.  And if not, what should we all do about it?  I think it is time to speak up…tell everyone you know about the injustice that has been done.  Spread the word, speak your opinion, talk to people, do not let people scare you, if you hear anything that might help this investigation, or any others then get involved – we can all make a difference.

Exactly which laws were broken, wouldn’t that be a place to start?

 

The last days of Morgan's bedroom windows with the blinds open...she loved light but didn't want someone peeking in at her.

The last days of Morgan’s bedroom windows with the blinds open…she loved light but didn’t want someone peeking in at her.

Just to backtrack a little first, while we did not know she was being stalked yet, Morgan’s stalker began to make his presence known on August 2nd, 2011 and of course he could have been at her bathroom window before that, Morgan just did not know until then.  It happened twice before the weekend of August 6th, and 7th, 2011.  A knocking, scratching noise that she thought could have been a bird or a tree branch in the wind.  Quite a few trees had grown up very close to the house, and noise from branches rubbing on the house was a common noise we had.

Morgan was worried about the noises, but was holding back until innocent explanations were ruled out.  On the worry side, she had noticed a pattern right away in the few times it had happened, the noises came shortly after she got home.  We did however hope for the best, simplest outcome, and we all went to sleep that Friday evening with the idea that Steve would trim back trees the next morning, and the problem would be solved.

We all had different emotions as we walked around the corner of the house Saturday morning, and looked at her bathroom window.  We all saw clearly that there were no tree branches, no bushes, no perch for a bird – nothing.  I clearly remember to this day the look on her face as she saw this, and how it sunk in for her.  She really did not want to be at the house right then, and left very shortly after that with her puppy.

That was Saturday, the fifth day of her stalking, and it happened again that night right after she came home.  Now she was upset, very upset.  I was going to call the police right then, but Morgan was thinking of all the ways it would be possible that this was not a person outside her bathroom window.  A dog, a cat, still a bird possibly, a coincidental noise happening in the attic, it was a self-defense mode I should have realized at the time, but I did not.  She was busily denying it was happening, most stalking victims deal with some level of denial about their stalking, and its severity.  It is really up to the officials charged with your safety to know this and react properly, but too many times they do not know any more than I did right then, and so they do not react appropriately.

Methodology to swiftly bring a stalking situation to an end is sorely lacking and is going to be a main thrust for the Morgan Ingram Foundation, but first things first.  Right then, Steve, Morgan and I came to an uneasy agreement that she would let us know as soon as it happened again and we hoped for the best, but were quickly beginning to fear the worst.  Sunday was quiet and hopes went up, Monday night she came home and had already made the decision to abandon her bathroom and use the one in my office, across the house.  She was completely creeped out by her own bathroom at that point, and she really never used it much again after that.

Morgan was in the office bathroom when she had a sick feeling someone might be there, right outside.  She had already undressed, and noticed the obscured window was open an inch or two, so she went straight over to it and closed it.  Then came the banging, she was screaming, we were running, and Morgan was in the hall dressed in a towel, and very badly shaken.  Any slightest bit of hope that this was innocent was long over, and it was a person, a very strange person that would stand right outside bathroom windows, and look in, then be brazenly fearless enough to pound on the window if Morgan closed it, and his view was taken away.

I bring all this up again because legally, actually, and for all intents and purposes her stalking was a reality at this point, it became stalking on the second time he knocked on her window.  Not some crazy and arbitrary six weeks before it magically becomes a crime.  I have read the laws now, because that is what you do when the Sheriffs do not, and the Sheriffs were completely wrong when they told me that we had to wait six weeks.  The State of Colorado declares it a crime after two times.  They officially recognize the dangers and trauma it brings.

And I believe that it was far more than “just” stalking, he was always at her bathroom window – peeping tom anyone?  There is a law for perverts and the title is long. Invasion of privacy for sexual gratification.  All the elements were there without doubt, and yes it is a sex crime, and it does not take even twice.  First time it becomes a crime.

The next morning I called the Carbondale Police Department and based on our address they directed me to the Garfield Sheriff’s Department, it was their jurisdiction.  So I called them and was promptly admonished for waiting so long.  Really sort of yelled at, and they were going to send a deputy, who did not even write a report on the incidents up for that day, or if he did, I have not seen them yet, and I am supposed to have every report on the stalking, and death of Morgan.  In fact the first report written, very shockingly is 24 days after the sex crimes and stalking had been going on.

Is that really possible?  For 24 days no report was written.  All that time I thought they were doing something, but it appears not.  One of the three crimes the – SUSPECT: Keenan VanGinkel – was being investigated for is the petty offense of trespassing.  So why, oh why would a Sheriff’s Department assign the least possible crime that he could be committing, pedestrian charges of trespassing, when that is not what it was at all, Morgan was being observed, she did not give consent, and it was a bathroom being used for bathing all four times, after the Deputy came to our doorstep for the first time.

He did explain how this same thing had happened the summer before and there were 4 or 5 incidents that he knew of.  Called in the dogs and chased the perp once, but lost him up by the Mini Storage, he told me.  Through emails to the Morgan’s Stalking Blog I know of more incidents.  Of more requests for follow-up that were ignored and more reports that were never written.  Why?

After reading the laws myself it is a sex crime first, and stalking a distant second,  Is there a law against serial sex crimes against women?  I know each “incident”, the seven or eight that I know about plus however many more there were, each is a crime in its own right, and why was not one of the incidents ever investigated as a sex crime?  Why?

Another big WHY is why did this all get started in the summer of 2007, what changed so residents in a very secluded corner of the county would be victims of sexual assault by voyeurism?  With some investigation I bet there could be answers to that question.

The terrorizing of Morgan began for her on August 2nd, no one would write a report on an incident for 24 days.  No one would call it stalking, and no one would even whisper sex crimes.  Four months later Morgan would be dead and no one would draw a connection between any of it.  The contracted pathologist would threaten me to give up on changing it from natural causes, and despite many assurances that he could not do such a thing as even to change her manner of death to an accidental overdose – he ultimately went far beyond that.  Based on evidence that a Forensic Toxicologist reads completely differently, completely differently.

The first Deputy also told me to document everything, so I did that as best I could.  Detective Glassmire assured me that if I kept even a simple log it would be admissible in court when Morgan’s case went to trial.  Now as I go through gaping holes in the official reports I have been provided with, you can bet that I am filling every single one in with excerpts from the copious notes I kept as incidents happened.

It is now a time for precision and accuracy instead of sloppiness and huge gaps in the official reports.  I have been told that Law Enforcement reports are rarely accurate, but as there is usually an absence of anything else, usually they are all there is to go on – so they should do a good job on getting them correct.  In at least one good note for Morgan there is in this case a far more comprehensive set of notes to compliment the official version as it stands now.  I’m confident that everyone involved wants there to be the most complete, and most accurate set of records.

Morgan deserves at least that, and once again…it’s not too much to ask, is it?

Today is May 15, 2013 – two years ago on May 15, 2011 Morgan was still alive and sent me the following Facebook message…I love you too Morgan!

Just Another Death Scene Problem…part of stalking to murder

MORGAN LOVING MOGWAI

Morgan had routines in her life and she was pretty amazing at following them.  On days when there promised to be photographic opportunities the next morning everything would be set the night before.  Camera batteries all charged, memory chips cleared of files, tripod with the backpack, everything ready to go.  A great picture did not wait, did not come find you, and had to be planned and sought out, and Morgan knew all that very well.  She would even go to bed early, just to be up in time for the particular shot she was after.

Of course I am just a biased mom, but I really think her photos show how much effort she put into them, a lot of little things you never see.  A reader of the Morgan’s Stalking blog wrote in to tell me that if you Google “clouds” and go to the images of clouds a few in the first batch you get are Morgan’s, she was a gifted photographer.  And speaking of Google and Morgan, I don’t know how Steve found this, but the evening before Mother’s Day he showed me that if you Google “Mother’s Day oil painting” the first image was a painting Morgan made for me – for Mother’s Day!.  Seeing it was such a gift, the hair stood up on my arms.  Now I think you have to click on images first, but it is still there, just amazing how this all works!

Well another of Morgan’s routines was her room.  Every Friday she straightened and cleaned, sometimes a little and sometimes a lot, but always some level of attention was given, she liked how it started her weekend off.

If she was going to be traveling, as she had plans that weekend to go babysitting for Military couples on retreats, she did extra wash during the week to make sure everything she would need for the trip was ready to pack.  The last week of November, 2011 was no exception.  She had a few extra piles of laundry ready to go by Thursday evening, folded and stacked in her room and waiting for Friday, to be packed for the trip or put away.  A few of the routines Morgan developed and lived by.

In the weeks following her sudden and tragic death Steve and I, with help from family and friends really packed away everything the Morgan never had a chance to on her normal Friday clean up day.  I tried to move quickly, it helped to blur the difficult thoughts, and as I’m sure you can imagine that emotions don’t get much higher than they were…

I came across something that froze me for an instant, then I called out to Steve, (actually yelled out to him, as he was not in the room right then), I wanted him to see exactly what I thought I was seeing.  I picked it up and placed it carefully on the top of her hutch.  Steve walked in and started to say, “I wish you had not done…” but stopped.

I don’t mind saying we were especially raw that fist month, it was as if we were re-learning life and even how to live together after 35 years of marriage.  There was obviously a lot of things we did wrong as we went through the process we had been thrust into.

Months before, in one of our attempts to blunt the terror of the stalking, invasion of privacy – and let’s not forget the Garfield Sheriffs Department’s notion that all this was misdemeanor trespassing for far, far too long.  So in one of our attempts to possibly make Morgan feel safer Steve thought of a simple wireless door bell.  It consisted of a normal looking door bell button meant to be placed at your door and a “receiver” that plugged in and chimed whenever the button was pressed.  The button was attached to Morgan’s nightstand, the side she always slept on naturally.  And the receiver that chimed was in our room, right by our bed.

More than once Morgan had pressed the panic button that sent Steve running for her room.  Morgan really did not like to ever feel like she was giving in to her tormentor, that he was dictating her life in any way.  Morgan was completely against moving and even now, knowing more of the pros and cons, I’m not sure what the right thing to do is.  But that button that summoned daddy was quietly accepted, and Steve felt it did help her feel safe, even though we all know she was not, really.

There it was now, right on top of the hutch, just picked up off the floor by me, found in a rather unique place, far from where it had been mounted, and under a few pieces of clothing – her panic button.  I don’t even remember a thought coming at the instant I found it.  Later, much later, I was certain that whoever was in her room that fateful night, had torn it from her nightstand, and hid it where I found it.  When I think back on it now, that instant was like your mind denying to realize certain things that it should, sort of akin to aspects of shock.

An excellent investigator, (not a Garfield County Sheriff’s officer), who slowly had me recall events once, suggested that it could also have been done earlier, perhaps that day, or even the day before.  One thing is quite sure – Morgan is not the person who removed that button from her nightstand.

In a perfect world, the investigators would have found it during the “investigation” of Morgan’s death scene (how I hate that phrase), they would have been wearing gloves of course, and booties to prevent contamination of the scene. It would have been carefully placed in an evidence bag and Steve and I would have seen it sometime later, when we were not in complete shock, and finally able to think clearly.  I would have said, “that look’s like Morgan’s panic button, was that on her nightstand?” Or something like that, and the fact that her panic button had been torn from her nightstand would be established as a… clue.

But Steve and I do not live in a perfect world, far from it.  It was instead found in a unique place, under a few pieces of clothing.  It was found by me, and the facts passed along to the Detectives, the answer, other than to completely discount the event as having any importance, I don’t remember exactly.  Just like the crack completely down one side of the rain gutter centered right over Morgan’s window.  Or the blade from the animal skin scrapping blade company found out in the yard, at the base of the tree that would have been used to climb down from the roof.  Those were of no importance either.

Actually, why hold back, the entire stalking by Keenan VanGinkel, 100% certain of his identity at one point, had nothing to do with her death either, no connection at all.

As for her death scene, in the world in which we lived, it’s safe to say a few things that seemed important to me.  Items and events that I have a very hard time explaining as anything but proof positive the someone or even more than one were in Morgan’s room the night she died.  Clues.  Were not viewed with the same importance as Steve and I found in them.  Today, I feel that the investigation that day was completely lacking at the very best and most generous I can be.  Perhaps that is why the Honorable DA terms Morgan’s death scene investigation as “So Thoroughly  Botched,” by the Garfield Sheriff’s Department.

I could maybe understand this if there were items and events that were clues to me, and Steve, who are not investigators, but then every other investigator agreed with the Garfield Sheriff’s office… maybe then I would understand.  But in a chilling replay for me, every person who is a qualified investigator in their own right has been completely shocked at facets of the investigation that did take place and evidence they feel had to be “investigated to the very end”, that was instead completely dismissed at first blush.  But over a year and a half later that is how it has shaped up, over and over again.  Until the Sheriff himself stood on the evening news and declared he would never open this investigation.

I wish there was a way to look up in the sky and explain this all to my daughter, but there is not.  At least not any that I have been able to find.  I know she wants me to help other victims of stalking prevail over their tormentors, and I want justice for my daughter, and this is just another reason that will help to drive me on forever.

I hope people understand what I meant during the first year after Morgan’s murder when I said, I don’t know exactly how she was murdered, but things do not add up for me.”  And now I know they didn’t add up for quite a lot of people besides me.  Now after all this time Steve and I have been able to find the missing pieces that I didn’t know in the beginning but have become very clear now.  We know Morgan was murdered, we know who did it, and we will continue our quest for justice until the day it happens for Morgan.  All we want is to have a law enforcement agency open her case, do a thorough investigation, as in find out where their prime suspect lives and visit him there, at least once.  I do not think Morgan ever did anything to warrant being swept under the rug as she has been.  An investigation into her sudden, unexplained death after four months of stalking…not much to ask.