Mogwai guarding a box of his mom’s evidence
At a time when sheer frustration surrounded everything that was related to Morgan’s stalking, and death, I made a decision. As soon as my waves of shock had passed, it dawned on me that I needed to do something about this in Morgan’s name. I needed to tell Morgan’s story, with as many details as I could, so others could become aware of this multi-layered problem that was confronting Steve and I in trying to have her stalker still pursued, and her death investigated (because it never really was at all!). It also quickly evolved into raising awareness of stalking, not only here in Garfield County, Colorado, but all around the world.
In response to the story of Morgan’s Stalking so many other victims over the last year have asked for advice, or told me about their own story, and unfortunately the same things ring true – law enforcement in their city or county did not, and will not take the danger seriously, and the victims are left to fend for themselves, scared for their lives! This has to change. Stalking is wrought with dangers, and needs to be dealt with effectively and swiftly, because it so easily blows out of control, even escalating to murder.
I could not allow this to happen to another girl, another family, and I wondered, what are the right answers to this multi-pronged dilemma? Morgan had been stalked, and terrorized for four months, and then we found her dead in her bed, nothing about the crime scene looked normal, she looked like she had been posed, so many things were not right, but we were in shock, and were not asked any pertinent questions that we should have been asked in a murder investigation! And here was a felony stalking victim, our daughter, dead. And we had this horrible feeling that her death was being treated as if it had nothing to do with her stalking. We tried to ignore this feeling, because the situation we had ended up in had us questioning everything.
A year and a half later it is far more apparent that Morgan’s sudden death, under suspicious circumstances, had been treated as if it had no relation to her stalking at all. Does this make any sense at all? The morning they took Morgan’s body away and informed us there would be an autopsy, we were told it was because she died under “suspicious circumstances, and they were treating everything as if it were a crime scene”, and I believed them at that time, I trusted them. But as the smoke still cleared I can see that was really not the case at all.
In the weeks that passed after her death we waited for the pathologist’s examination report and nothing was investigated except to look at pictures on her phone, read her texts, and read what she was writing on her computer. They were investigating Morgan – not how she died. Then the pathologist classified Morgan’s manner of death as natural causes, and the “brakes” were hit even harder. For the next eight months that passed the Sheriff’s department had no reason to investigate natural causes, and as for her stalking case it seemed as if they did not need to do any more investigating, with no stalking victim left alive, there was no more stalking, leads dry up quickly and all too soon there was nothing to investigate – right?
Nothing “felt right” about Morgan’s death, and we had questions for many of reasons, apart from one of the main reasons – he wrote that her “natural death” was caused by a disease she never had, we also felt a strong need to know exactly what killed her, if this truly was a natural death, and if it could affect someone else in the family, young or old. When Morgan’s long time Doctor at UCLA, a person we have great respect for, shocked us with her opinion that nothing was wrong with Morgan that would cause her sudden death, and then declare this was a homicide! We were floored.
We naturally began to research this very seriously, and it was not long before we were told by a highly respected Forensic Pathologist that the level of one drug in her blood was not “insignificant” as the pathologist was claiming, but it was the cause of Morgan’s death. And she did not even take this drug!
I kept asking more questions of more experts because the finding of Morgan’s death as natural was not only wrong there was absolutely no investigation going on except our own. Which was raising questions for which there were no answers, and the pathologist did not like me questioning him, his findings, or asking him to talk to some of the experts that were assisting us, doctor to doctor, about his findings. He then threatened me (I am a victim of the felony stalking as well as Morgan, so he was threatening a victim at the time) that he might have to take another look at her manner of death, as the blood levels were quite high, and the only reason he did not call it an accidental overdose, or suicide was that there were absolutely no pills or pill fragments in her stomach.
This concerned me deeply, except I was being told by others that I should not be worried, because there were no grounds that the pathologist could find for suicide, and he really should have put down “Undetermined” or “Homicide” and an investigation should have been opened.
An investigation – really? Like law enforcement actually reviewing our camera footage the night of the murder, they took it, and booked it into evidence, but it was not reviewed – I guarantee you that, because later when we reviewed it we saw images from those cameras that same night. Or like an investigation that takes evidence from the crime scene, like sheets, and pillows, and tests the substance found on her chest, and writes up a report. And when told about items missing from her room the information becomes a report? No, that never happened either. I began to tell our felony stalking detective about the missing items within a few days of the crime, after the crime scene tape came off her bedroom door, and we were allowed back into her room – but no report was made.
Then seven months after her death, the pathologist had her gastric fluid tested without telling us. The pathologist knew if anymore tests were to be run the other doctors assisting us would like to weigh in on what kind of tests could be added. But this request was ignored, which is a problem because there were not a lot of samples left to test, and this particular test exhausted what was left. To use up those samples without allowing other doctors to request certain tests to be done at the same time was not only wrong, but egregious.
Those test results, of which the pathologist based his claim of suicide, instead actually proves that she could not have committed suicide – that piece of knowledge that I now have can never change. Not one soul in Garfield County government cared that the pathologist had threatened me – I know because of all the certified, return receipt letters that Steve, and I wrote to them that were not only ignored, they were never answered.
So what does a family in this situation do? It looks, and feels to me like one of those stories about the “big blue wall”, right here in Garfield County. Their approach to the problem is obviously to not answer us or do anything, in the hope that we just go away, and drop it. Would you? Honestly if this were your daughter would you just drop it and go away? Emotionally it would probably be much easier. What about the stalker/murderer? Do you think he will just stop, and never do it again, and never hurt another girl? He terrorized Morgan emotionally and psychologically for four months. There have also been many revelations of similar instances going back many years. So I don’t believe he will stop – they very rarely do, and I for one, in my heart, could never live with just walking away and not pursuing this. It hurts, it makes me sick to my stomach at times, it makes Steve, and I both want to scream sometimes, but thanks to the huge support group we have we continue to pull each other up, and continue on with this quest.
My hope is that people all around the world listen, and believe other stalking victims, they need to be heard, and desperately want to be taken seriously. If more people understand, and decide to take a stance to help as much as they can, we will be on the way to having fewer victims in the future. When I hear about so many similar crimes being committed I can’t help but think that maybe there are not so many criminals, I think just one can do so very many crimes, if they are never caught, or never prosecuted. So please, individually and collectively, let’s get even just one criminal off the street, and see how many lives can be spared in doing just that one act.
This is a letter to my brother and his wife who I believe are behind the stalking I have endured for over a decade.
Dear ————-,
I will never know what it is like to derive immense pleasure from stalking and assaulting women and children with sound and light as you have done to me and my daughter. My nephew and my nice deserved better in this life. They did not deserve to be taught that lack human empathy. They did not deserve to be taught that hurting people is fun. They deserved better! Have I ever hurt anyone in my life? It pains me to say I have, but not intentionally and premeditatedly like you do. You dedicate your lives to revenge and hunting women and children and experience the human emotion of pleasure when you are able to cause others’ suffering, even kids. Your life would be meaningless if you weren’t hurting other people. You wouldn’t experience joy if you weren’t hurting people. I am 100% certain that you have hurt many other women and children.
What makes you unique among men in the world is that when you hurt people, it feels good. When a person with human empathy hurts people, they feel regret. You feel joy and pride in your ability to terrorize the lives of defenseless women and their children, to stalk, to hunt humans, to torture, to assault, to watch little kids cry from your actions and your power.
Please, I urge to declare your true values and your sadistic practices to all the people at church this Sunday. Stand before them and tell the Christians that God has chosen you to commit human torture against your fellow Christians. You won’t do it will you? No. Do you know why? Because you are ashamed. Because you know that what you do is not God’s will, that it is sick, and even criminal. But, I ask you to have faith in other Christians and in God. I believe that with prayer you can change.
I believe that by telling other Christians the horrors you have been committing that you can get a prayer chain going that will change your hearts. God and prayer can change your hearts! But, if you continue to operate in silence and in secret no one can help you. Please stop hurting people! Please stop! —, please stop! —– please stop! Stop teaching the children to hurt people! Stop hurting the children! Stop! You know it is wrong. The whole world knows it is wrong. Just tell them and get it off your chests and learn a new way to experience joy. This is NOT God’s plan for you life — and —–. You can change the others who like to hurt and hunt women and children in our country too, by speaking up. This, I feel is your calling on this earth.
God Bless you and your family. May you know the kind of joy that God wishes for you, not one that involves hunting and hurting defenseless women and children.
Love, Cathy
Wow! I can’t but do believe what I just read.
Toni, it is because of your efforts and determination that have helped to open the eyes of many. Even I find myself immediately thinking of Morgan when there’s an unusual noise at night…I always get up to check in my daughters room located on the other end of the house. I always tell myself that it COULD happen because it did happen to Morgan. Recently sis started receiving harassing text messages. This is new to me…..there’s an app you can get on your phone that when using a fake email acct will give you a brand new # to use from your registered cell phone that will only show this new number. So harass away the sicko is able…..it requires many steps with law enforcement to track it. But law enforcement must take these instances seriously. Many adults (myself included) aren’t saavy to the always new technologies these kids have access to. And combine that with their parents that don’t hold their children accountable its really a form of condoning that illegal behavior. Keep fighting the good fight Toni! We are listening in CA!!! Love Demi
Oh Demi those words from you give me so much strength…thank you!
I am so happy that the information is getting out there, not only from me, but from all of you that make comments, and teach me, and others about things we don’t know about, like the app that gives you a fake brand new # to use from your cell phone from a fake email account. I knew about proxy or fake email accounts (cowards use them to harass, and re-victimize victims), but I didn’t know about being able to have a call look like it’s from a different cell number – hyper-awareness doesn’t even cover this, you are right law enforcement really needs to educate themselves, and keep up with the newer horrors of the world…thanks so much for sharing this!
Thank you Demi for your support. I hope the truth will come out.
Cathy,
Thank you for your story. I use to be very religious, but now through the insanity of stalking, have become an atheist. I see what religion and some religious people do, to others. Not all religious people, but many of them are evil. They use their religion as an instant garbage disposal, so they won’t have to be accountable, or say they are sorry, or stop their violent actions.
Your own family, can be your worst enemy. When parents pit kids against each other, you create a very dysfunctional family unit, that never mends. It spins out of control and reaches out into the community, city, state, country and world. It creates a domino effect and chaos and crazy ensue. Crazy living with a stalker(s), is exhausting, a continual wondering of what will happen next.
My story is like the girls in Ohio that had been kidnapped and held hostage for over ten years. But my kidnappers, are smarter than the one in Ohio. They keep you in the outside world, destroy and sabotage you, then tell you, you created it, you are mentally ill, you are a lazy loser that does not deserve anything.
Thank you Toni and Steve, for bringing light to stalking and the effects it has on people. It is insanity and a nightmare, beyond normal. The religion of Islam has played a big part, in my stalking. People of this religion want to come to America to be free, but they still want to keep women as objects and second class citizens.
I have good days and bad days. I am so use to being terrorized, I am always on guard. It is hard to think things will change, when they have been so crazy, for so long. All you know is crazy living. It is hard to trust.
Well, that’s pretty much my story too. I don’t know how they do it, but every time I get close to anyone who isn’t part of their world, somehow they intervene and prevent me from meeting normal people. I don’t know how they do it. Gossip? That’s all I can guess. Then people believe it and won’t give me a chance, because of course they believe the people in their community telling them these lies because they don’t even know me. I can’t make friends. I can’t date because the only men who will date me are members of the sadist world who intend to hurt me. So, I just gave up when I realized they intend to continue putting their evil men in my path. I can’t meet a kind man or friend because I think they badmouth me behind my back and how do you defend yourself? I just keep hoping to somehow get my brother and his wife to talk publicly about their sadistic and dangerous world of people. They look like the model American family; neat, clean, nice home, regular church goers, “do gooders” who adopted a Russian child, sing in the choir, church deacon. And yet hurting people is their business, their passion, and their joy. I think sometimes that my brother and his wife looked at me and Samantha as the competition. We couldn’t have more than them, a better house, more succes, nicer things or be happier. I could really have cared less about all of that. But, that’s not how other people think. Some people are very petty and they have to prove to their children that they are the best, have the most, are the winners. “Winners” of what? It’s like a big sick game to them. There is something wrong with them. And yet, I am the one who is going to die from being stalked to death, and they will live long and prosperous lives because they belong to the ruling class and I do not. Somehow, somebody in the USA has to reveal their world.
yes, please keep up the good work! it is already paying off… so many coversations have been had that would have been overlooked if the light you’ve shone on this disturbing trend wasn’t shining! I’m sure countless paths at forks in the road have been chosen more wisely thanks to you & your blog… o.O I never imagined changing the world for the better would be an easy job, but seeing you do it inspires me to, too! even if it is a long & twisted road. Know that we are are here for you & appreciate every step you take us forward with… 😀
~Love & Light!~
Lisa Marie – thank you so much, you can always see so deep into what is really happening. I am so happy to hear that conversations have been happening and awareness is being raised about the dangers of stalkers as well as keeping law enforcement to a higher standard – just like us they have to uphold the laws of the State as well.
The road is painful and twisted, but knowing that you are all here for us gives us the strength to keep going. Change has never been easily accomplished in this world, but with all of you joining in, because we all want a safer world, we all want to protect our families, change will come eventually…there is no stopping it.
Toni, My God. Thank you so much for publishing my letter. When I woke up this morning it was gone from my Facebook. Someone had hacked into it and deleted it. So, I began writing again and I knew this time I had to post it to other places because it’s just so important that people outside of my brother and his wife’s world learn about what they do to people. I just went to see the move 42 and that is when I knew I had to finally tell people no matter what the consequences would be. The owner of the Dodgers rattled American culture when he hired the first black baseball player. They all recieved death threats. It was rough, but at least they had a support system. Stalking victims do not have a strong support system at all in our country. That change can only happen when people take risks to say what is really going on. Mr. Ricky was a very rich and powerful man, a baseball team owner! And yes, he wanted to win and to make money, and he loved baseball, but he also saw the injustice against blacks and was willing to risk it all. He is a true American hero. I will say this too while I am at it. Mr. Ricki is an important figure in black history, but he will never be recognized by the NAACP. I was once a member of the NAACP and I got their magazine. I was horrified to discover that prominent black Americans do NOT recognize the contribution of whites to black history, only the contribution of blacks. They do not recognize the contribution of an old white Congress that past the civil rights act. They do not recognize President Lincoln and many others. It breaks my heart. Yes, it’s true there are white people who have been evil to blacks, but there are white people with power and otherwise who contributed positively to the black community. And this is what we need in the field of stalking. We need people with power, money, and guts, people who are willing to take on the powerful world that my brother and his wife belong to. I haven’t met one yet, but I just keep writing, and hoping that someday a “Mr. Ricki” will come across my path and he’ll fight for the dignity of stalking victims. Thank you Toni and Steve for printing my letter. Can anyone ever imagine my broken heart when I discovered that my very own flesh and blood brother is dedicated to harming me and that my suffering and my daughter’s brings him so much joy. I have nobody.
Sorry, I am emotional and making a lot of errors. “an all white Congress”, old too probably. LOL. And “passed” not past. Maybe you could fix it before printing? Also had some errors in the letter “niece” not “nice”…etc..please excuse my errors.
I have to tell you a funny story. A woman was very kind to me many months ago when my chemo started. She gave me a simple gift of some fake dasies that I admired and I could see that her heart broke that I was facing cancer and that she was a person who feels human empathy, which I have had a hard time meeting over the years. So, today I went to see her at this little shop where we originally met and I wanted to give her a gift. It was a valuable watch that I had kept for many, many years not knowing what I would do with it. Then I decided I wanted to give it to her, because she was so kind and she was earning a living selling second hand goods in a little shop. She tells me her husband just happens to be a watch collector. I got goose bumps. What are the odds of that? Well, it turns out after I gave this woman my watch worth thousands of dollars, she tells me that she owns a major, and I mean major business in the area. I start thinking to myself: O.K. God, Is this some kind of joke? I meant to give this to someone whose life would be blessed by it, and instead I just gave it to a very wealthy woman. Why did this just happen? There must be a reason for this. I don’t know what it is, but I don’t always understand your ways. I felt sort of duped in a way…hey, this was suppose to make me happy that I gave something to someone who needed it. You know, later after we laughed about it, she said to me: “You know, I was in a state of shock. No one ever gives me anything. I am always doing the giving.” Isn’t it like an O’Henry story?
By the way, I did not feel duped by her. She tried to refuse the gift and says she’s giving it back after she shows it to her husband. I felt duped by God. What’s up with this God? LOL I don’t want it back even though she is rich. I believe God wanted me to give it to her. I don’t know why. But, it was meant to be. I said well give to somebody who needs it then. Surely, you know someone. But, she is determined to give it back to me. Oh brother! She thinks it should be my daughter’s. My daughter is going to be comfortable. She won’t miss it. I never wore the watch and it’s like I carried it around all these years, just for this moment. The whole thing just made me laugh as we walked out of the store together to my car. What a hoot! She hugged me and kissed me and I put my arm around her as we walked to my car and laughed. It was a such a wonderful moment.