Let’s say for a moment (and I pray this will never be true in your case) that your daughter has a stalker – you want to keep your daughter safe so you call law enforcement, but at the same time you don’t just sit back and hope they protect her (you realize they can’t be everywhere all the time), you also do everything you can think of to keep her safe, while at the same time trusting in law enforcement to do their job. You have no experience when it comes to stalking situations, you have only heard about celebrity stalkers, and you have no idea what to do or not to do.
Everyone you confide in has different suggestions – you decide to do as many as possible. Motion alarms, motions lights, cameras, pepper spray, mace with a staining solution that glows in the dark, water and rake the ground in order to get better footprints, observe what lights are on in neighboring houses or what cars are in driveways in the middle of the night when the stalker was just at your house, do your own stake-out, keep a timeline, borrow a watch dog, (we did that for a week, we love our dog, but just as a few of our readers have said that have the same breed as our dog, our dog is not a watch dog, never barked when the code on the front door was pushed, never barked when tapping happened on the windows), she only barks when she hears the doorbell ring (Morgan’s stalker did not ring the doorbell), or when she hears a loud knocking on the front door (Morgan’s stalker did not do that either), or if she sees someone through a window that she does not trust (that happened once when the stalker came up our driveway at night and she saw him through the front door window, read about that one here, October 18, 2011), but she did bark 3 times because of the stalker that I remember during that 4 month period, once which I mentioned above, once when I was in my office in the very front of the house, I had not gone to bed yet – I was waiting up to meet Morgan in the driveway, and Morgan called to say she would not be home until morning because she was sleeping at a friend’s house – she was exhausted and wanted to get a full nights sleep. As soon as I hung up the phone something hard, and loud hit my window – I was startled and jumped, as did our dog, who was lying on the floor next to where I was standing, and she started to bark. That was my first time to feel the absolute skin crawling fright that Morgan had been experiencing almost every day – and that was the first, and one of the 3 times our dog barked because of the stalker. Suggestions like a bear trap, fish hooks on invisible fishing line hanging from the trees, things like that I couldn’t do – I love animals just like Morgan did, and injuring or killing an animal while trying to catch or stop a stalker did not sound like the right thing to do at the time.
Then your daughter’s stalking case becomes a FELONY STALKING case, and a detective is assigned to the case. You breathe a sigh of relief (because you trust law enforcement, you, like me, have seen some amazing heroes over the years), but you still keep trying to come up with ways to catch the stalker, as well as ways to protect your daughter, because you are a parent, and that is what parents are supposed to do…protect your child. With all the things we had tried we were still trying to add more things – wouldn’t you? I told Morgan I would purchase a taser gun for her, she said she wouldn’t be able to use it. Why? She said, “Mom picture this, I am walking from the car to the house, holding car keys in one hand, along with pepper spray and my puppies leash in the other hand, how am I supposed to hold a taser and use it?” So much for that idea…so I kept meeting her every time she drove home, in the driveway with pepper spray in my hand as well. She would always send me a text to tell me she was on her way home, and I would wait for her and meet her outside – no matter what the weather was like, I’m sure you would do the same to protect your daughter. Were her text messages being monitored? I asked the detective, but he said he didn’t know of any software that could do that. Relatives said to carry a gun – we had one – and if we had to use it in the house we would have, but we lived in a neighborhood with houses fairly close together so if we saw the stalker running outside of our house and shot at him and missed the bullet could have gone right into a neighbor’s house and wounded, or even worse, killed an innocent person – that to me was not a valid option either.
Then after four months of being terrorized, the unthinkable happens…you find your daughter’s lifeless body. You call 911 – you do CPR until the EMT’s rush into your home to take over, with so much hope and determination in their eyes, definitely heroes trying to save our 20-year-old with so much life still ahead of her, only to bow their heads in defeat. Your mind swirls thinking you must be having a nightmare. This can’t be happening! Please take me not her…then your mind starts up with all the questions – what happened, how did this happen, how could this happen to her?
This is now the worst pain you have ever felt in your entire life and it doesn’t end there. That same morning you are told there are no signs of forced entry, no signs of a sexual assault, no signs of a struggle, no signs of suicide, and at this time law enforcement tells you her death is a mystery. Your mind screams – mystery? She is a healthy 20-year-old that has a felony stalker that has been terrorizing her for 4 months, and you were just told by the lead detective (only 2 days earlier) that in his opinion the stalker would not stop, if anything he would escalate – you start to ask question after question, hoping for some answers that make sense, but don’t get any, and all you can do now is still trust that law enforcement is really investigating, and will give you some answers. Unfortunately you are wrong… it has now been one year, and nine months and you still have not received the information that you have requested, and deserve to have.
What would you think? Would you think this is a cover-up? Would you think this is just CYA because of mistakes law enforcement made, mistakes they can’t afford to admit now that your daughter is dead? Would you think that maybe your law enforcement department was just lazy? Would you think this is just because you live in a small town and small towns don’t have enough resources like big cities, so this is what happens – they just close the investigation?
For me none of the above reasons work, because EVERY human life is precious and deserves respect, dignity and honesty. Families deserve answers. Morgan’s felony stalking case was closed after she was murdered – 2 days before her murder I was told by the lead detective he was close to making an arrest then after she was gone no more follow-up, case closed. This is after bringing the sheriff’s information, evidence to follow-up on and so much more, but only to see that they would not follow-up on anything or spend anymore time on her investigation. What would you do when the suspects family tells you he was either working or not in state when Morgan’s stalking incidents occurred? Number one how would they know when those incidents actually occurred considering the sheriff’s reports did not show all the reports? And even more important than that is the fact that the sheriff’s did receive the work schedule for the suspect after Morgan’s murder and if they had actually looked at it and compared it to my timeline, like they were planning on doing before her murder, they would have seen what I saw…yes he was in the state (except when there was an intentional alibi being made or when there were no stalking incidents on my timeline). I was shocked when I started looking over his hours – of course I was infuriated, wouldn’t you be? And this is why the article mentioned below is so important…law enforcement doesn’t have to be super heroes they just need to be honest and do their job, most do, but not all and that is where change needs to be made. Someone shouldn’t get away with murder, because it gets swept under the rug, or because a contracted forensic pathologist is allowed to say its natural causes for 8 months while being told that it can’t be by so many experts, and then he changes it to suicide when that is not true either and there is conclusive proof to the contrary. When that is allowed to happen then other families will lose loved ones over and over, (because someone got away with murder), and the next time it can be anyone’s daughter.
I know that law enforcement can’t be everywhere at all times, I know law enforcement officers are just human like the rest of us and make mistakes too, but I also know that in my job (probably in yours too) I have to be honest, and accountable for the mistakes I make, correct them and do my best to make sure it does not happen again. The only person responsible for Morgan’s murder is Morgan’s murderer, along with anyone that tried to cover up the crime – there are others who might be tried as an “accomplice” or an “accessory”, and remember there is no statute of limitations on murder.
This article (see link below) from the Journal of Criminal Justice explains very succinctly why there needs to be transparency, and honesty when law enforcement, and the judicial system deals with the family of victims of crime.
Journal of Criminal Justice 38 (2010) 880–888 click here http://www.leg.state.co.us/clics/clics2012a/commsumm.nsf/b4a3962433b52fa787256e5f00670a71/4edad3b79d32555b872579ac007e1eba/$FILE/SenJud0222AttachG.pdf to read the full publication. I am so happy there are so many scholarly people in this world that can explain things that I think and have come to know, but can not properly articulate to others.
I too am being stalked by a psychopath. Law enforcement has responded atleast 40 times. I know who the person is. It is a game to him to evade sheriffs and he has tormented me relentlessly.Lake Elsinore Sheriff department is quick to respond and I am extremely grateful for their efforts. I know this psychopath comes into my home when I am out and he enters while I am sleeping . He has financially ruined me, I have spent thousands trying to secure my home and property. This person is a pathalogical liar and a parasite that steals everything he has.(He doesn’t work, but he has ALOT possessions). He has military medals he shows off as his own. He claims to be retired Navy Seals that lost his partner in Afghanistan. I have checked his military record and he has never served our country. I am afraid for my life, I have done EVERYTHING law enforcement has suggested, but I cantmake this stop.I cried when I read Morgans story and I know how frustrated and tormented she felt before her death. I have thought about killing myself because I don’t see how to put a stop to this. One of us has got to go, I refuse to live my life like this. Being afraid and tortured in my own home is horrible. I think he really gets off with the time and effort I have put in trying to stop him.Something has got to give, don’t count me out yet though, I am a pretty strong minded individual. God bless Morgan and her parents.
Oh, Kelly I am so sorry this is happening to you. Thank you for letting others know, and thank you for your compassion, and understanding of Morgan’s story.
Please do not ever give up – there are amazing people out there that will try to help you, and always trust your gut. Document everything, talk to the Lake Elsinore Victims Assistance coordinator and ask them to find out how you can go into the Address Confidentiality Program, ask the Sheriff’s to put up WiFi Wildlife cameras around your house to catch a picture of the stalker, and make an arrest. Ask them to find out where he works and go tell him that you know who he is and so do they, and they are watching him so he better stop. Insist on a protection order – I know they are just a piece of paper, but if he is spotted within a certain distance of you once you have that order he can be arrested right then and there…no questions asked.
Go to the District Attorneys office and tell them that you know who the stalker is and you want him arrested before this escalates any further. Put an alarm system in your house if you can – have all your neighbors watching out for you (show them a picture if you have one), same goes for your place of work, and give them his description along with the case number you have been given by the Sheriff’s and have your neighbors call the Sheriff’s if they think they see him or anything suspicious around your home.
Keep protection on you at all times, your personal safety is of utmost importance, and remember the more people that know and the more pressure you put on authorities to do everything within their power to do the safer you will be. Go to http://www.victimsofcrime.org/our-programs/stalking-resource-center and read about things you can do and resources that may help you. You can also call them they are very helpful.
I understand how you feel – this is a total and complete invasion of your life as well as a frightening thing and you are smart to realize that it is serious and potentially extremely dangerous. My heart goes out to you and I pray for a safe and good outcome. Please let me know if I can help in any way.
http://mayramm.wordpress.com/tag/morgan-ingram/
I am (of COURSE) digging around the Internet for information, because I found strong ties to several other sinister incidents that I can hopefully make you aware of. BUT: this right here (the above link)….
I didn’t finish reading it but HER phone bill has nothing to do with the harassment aimed at you by her phone number. I completely fabricated a phone number for my cellphone contact list. Like your arrangement with your daughter, whenever I pressed this fabricated contact, it meant I had spotted a stalker. It was intended to take the heat off my family and I and make it easier to document the numerous incidents.
Now, before you read on, please understand that the number was NOT EVEN “phone number length”… it was merely five or so digits I randomly chose or chose for the reason that when I went down my list of ‘calls dialed” (IN MY PHONE) I would be able to quickly spot those “calls’, the TIME and the date and do it all at once, not while I was trying to drive down the road.
Here’s what “they” did with that information. They then began USING THOSE NUMBERS (HOW????) to CALL MY OWN PHONE. So now you understand that when I exit the interstate closest to my home and am negotiating the daily horror to get into my own home with my children, these people are calling my cellphone FROM an IMAGINARY NUMBER which only I placed in my own cellphone, in order to make documenting them easier for myself and take the obvious “tracking” off myself and children who hate every second of this.
Your pig Mayra M. seems to be the font from which many things flow (the EMT report she alleges though she looks as though she would lie about ANY and EVERYTHING and now the “innocence” around those phone calls”.
Believe me, she IS or someone is making them on her behalf, they won’t show up on her phone bill UNLESS someone is also removing them, which is also possible BUT quite likely her own phone is not even involved. It’s a simple program, most likely… that the local ems and fire would have access to as well as any police or really any little loser so involved in murder. A phone is just a hard drive. Think along those parameters.
SAME THING WITH US: over years massive lies so that even half of our own family thinks we are scum. Outsiders started every last bit of this and I can tell you why and I can tell you who. But meantime I am finding the common threads. It’s just too obvious that you are writing a blog on your sad and horrendous experience with your daughters murder being covered up and I am able to predict what is happening next, ONLY it is due to my having the same experience.
And now I am finding common ground in other places.