November 18, 2011 – Day 109 of Morgan’s Stalking – Who Was Morgan?

Morgan gets up and makes a juice drink to bring on her way to her ballet class.  She stretches while she’s standing in the kitchen, and says good morning to us.  The bar top is treated like a ballet bar and she is concentrating on her posture and movement, as Steve and I pour coffee.

Morgan would sometimes lecture us about drinking coffee, and sometimes not say anything.  What it was this particular morning I can’t be sure.  Health was very important to her and she was always sharing something she had learned with us.  It was that time when your children are soaking up knowledge faster than you are, and you have to adjust to receiving good information with grace.

I don’t really know if it was that as parents we had already been through this twice before Morgan, with our older two children, but Morgan was not only different, she was easier.  Steve and I would always talk about her advice to us, and how we should really listen to her.

Later that day Morgan was talking to her friend between classes.  Her friend Nicole asks her, ”Is the yarn you’re using for the mitts pastel or bright colors?” Morgan tells her, “Pastel.”  Her friend Nicole answers, “Okay! Thanks!”  Morgan sends her back a heart, “<3” and Nicole asks Morgan, “Who is your favorite Disney princess?” Morgan answers, “ Ariel? Yes! Mermaid!”  Nicole ends with, “ Okay! Good to know!”

She came home from classes and rested in her room.  She did that often.  She would sit in front of her mirror and sing while she fussed with her hair.  Most days she would come out and sing while playing her keyboard.  She didn’t have a wide repertoire, just a few favorites that she worked on perfecting.

Morgan had a few favorite series she liked to watch on TV, and over the years had collected every season she could and would watch them over and over.  Buffy was a favorite, then the Gilmore Girls, and Smallville.  Between the three she was endlessly entertained.

Washing her clothes was an ongoing task.  Morgan would wash, dry and fold and then sometimes her cat would knock them over, and the task would be repeated – never seeming to bother her.

At 6:20 pm, Steve texted her, “We’re taking Joni (her little niece) to the diner, would love to have you join us.”  And a minute later she answered me that she might not make it.  That she was kinda caught up with friends.  Steve texted her again at 6:52 pm that we were finishing, and did she want anything?  Morgan said no, and we brought Joni home.

At 9:00 pm we told Morgan that we were home.  She had made arrangements to sleep at Calder’s house, which would mean the couch, and I told her OK sweet dreams.

Her life was simple and we always knew what to expect.  Steve and I could count on her to do what was needed.  Her room wasn’t the neatest, but it was never all that bad.  She was the last child living in the house with us and we enjoyed having her.

Her stalker(s) had taken so much from her.  It was not fair, and we balanced justice for Morgan with the rights of all.  We saw suspicious things and reported them as we were asked.  But I can honestly say we never faced anyone down, or accused, of blamed.  The deputies had their theories, and we would more likely ask them if they were really sure, we did not want to accuse hastily, or rush to judgment.  We wanted the truth.

I never demanded answers from anyone, but we should have.  In two weeks time Morgan will be dead.  When your daughter is twenty, and healthy it does not even enter into the realm of possibility.  Morgan was worried about taking care of Steve, and I as we grew old.  She joked about what it was going to be like for her.  What the responsibility would be for her.  Not in a pained way, but in a happy way.  The same way that Morgan took most everything that was thrown her way.  I would always tell her to knock it off – no one was going to need to take care of us…ever!  The stalker she could have done without – that, she would not be shy in professing.

Today is November 1, 2012 – it was a busy day for me.  Steve and I met with a great investigator for three hours.  Everyone brings a new perspective to this case.  New advice, a new approach, another idea we had never thought of.

Morgan has left us with so many memories that we are learning to cherish with open arms, far more than we ever thought would be possible a year ago.  Steve and I look forward to the day that the things we have learned through Morgan will be more helpful and sharing, with more solutions for others than the solving of Morgan’s case that we visit so often now.  I know that Morgan would not care so much that we work to solve this mystery any more than we have.  But for the time being Steve and I agree that it is what we must do, and so we shall.  There are those that will not welcome our attempts to solve it.  They will want to stop it, or they will not even want to hear that it is really not us forwarding the solutions, but others far better than Steve or I will ever be will solve this crime.

So it begs to be said that two weeks before the end, a day is coming when most all the evidence that these brilliant minds have put forth, as their best opinion of what really happened to Morgan, is out for all to see.  How different it is from what we thought a year ago, and more importantly why would anyone else really have an issue with the truth about what happened to Morgan being known – because I can only think of one reason – can you?

Click here to read about the 110th & 111th days of Morgan’s stalking

24 thoughts on “November 18, 2011 – Day 109 of Morgan’s Stalking – Who Was Morgan?

  1. Those are 3 of my daughter’s favorite shows as well. They sound so much alike and realizing the similarities between my daughter and Morgan really hits home. It’s heartbreaking to think you lost your child in a tragedy that should have never even happened if people did their jobs right. I’m sorry this happened to you and your family and also thank you for all you’re doing to make sure this doesn’t happen again. You and your husband are truly amazing and I’m sure Morgan would be so proud of you for everything you’re doing for her and others that may be in a similar situation. I wish you all the best.

    • That was really nice of you to tell me – I never know when I say things like that about what Morgan liked to do, or watch if people get a better picture of what she was like or not, but you made me realize it is working, and I’m glad they are your daughter’s favorite shows as well.

  2. I can only think of one reason as well. It’s important to say that I go into few things “blindly”. I like facts. I do not like taking a side without having as much knowledge as possible to both sides. I’ve read both sides. Although, I must also say its hard to read discussion from the other side of this tragedy. It was hard to read though, as there is a lack of humanity that exists in the discussion on the opposing side.

    There’s a haphazard attempt for condolence but no real feeling behind it. If not guilty, then why not mourn and share the feeling of loss for Morgan? The facts, as adamently as the posts refer to them (speaking of other side) are so incredibly viewed with blinders…yet the belief is they see/know it all. There are ill-fated jabs at character, competence, and sadly some ill-conceived notions of mental illness (very poorly researched and stated…as if it was googled and content skimmed and therefore now it must be true??)

    My point (sorry so lengthy) is – the facts here are not of poorly written or summarized police reports, they’re not googled “facts”, they’re not based on matters of the heart or opinions on character or even notions that a crazed teen was driven to stalking because of some parental misconduct. The things I take notice of, and can stand behind, are those I can see with my eyes (cameras/video) and reason (as an adult who is logical) and say to myself…”one incident…a stalker does not make. But multiple incidents….reason that away? No, I cannot.” I dare you to give explanation for your stalking, openly and honestly…stop attacking, start explaining. Don’t act is if “nothing” happened!!!

    I cannot express how sad this makes me. For so many reasons. If only everyone knew the crimes that are swept under the rug by this Sheriff’s office (R.I.P. P.C.)…then you’d know. A lot of families hurt, a lot of conversations about “lack of police work” are had….not everyone has the courage and tenacity that Steve & Toni have. Enough said with a heavy heart.

    • I look at it like this Heather – the closer we get to exposing people the more they will fight back and we do expect that. Thank you for your deep reaching thoughts.

  3. As I sit and read each night, I wonder what I personally can do to help your quest for justice. The other night, I was filling out my mail-in ballot, and it occurred to me, VOTE! I’m not trying to inject politics into anything to do with Morgan, but the DA for Garfield County is up for reelection. VOTE to get a new DA in Garfield County. Perhaps some fresh eyes and a fresh attitude is in order. Also, sign the petition to Governor Hickenlooper. These are actions that all of us living in the area can do to help get justice for Morgan.

    • Thank you Ruth – it is so very true, we do have the power with our votes to put people that want transparency, people that have humanity, people that want to be in these public positions, into these elected positions, because they want to make a difference, just like when we vote to put them in those positions we are all making a huge difference. It really does help us with justice.

  4. Toni-I love the writing you are doing about what it was like to parent Morgan. You and Steve seem to have been so well matched w/ her as your daughter. It makes the loss seem even more significant, if that is even possible. I think so many of us who didn’t know her “get” her b/c you got her and you are able to describe her. The hope in your writing voice lately is giving me hope that you are nearer to justice than ever before, if justice exists here seeing as the only real justice would be for Morgan to be back on this earth. I just want to encourage you to keep on, which I know you will, and tell you again from one mother to another that I have such respect for the work you are doing and such heartache for you and for Steve at the loss of your insightful and beautiful daughter. xo

    • Emily that was such a beautiful thing to write to us – thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  5. I guess I don’t follow what Heather S is saying in her first paragraph about the “other sides discussions”. Where is this happening? I’m assuming she is closer to the cause and has seen other information not being shared for good reasons.

    I just know this post made me so sad. I just want to rewind the clock and bring Morgan back. I’m am excited that you have fresh eyes by the new investigator. I think Morgan would want you to solve this case so it doesn’t happen to someone else in your area since these people have not been caught. I know from the way you speak about her that she would want to help others as well. She is touching so many peoples lives right now who didn’t even know her.

    • Renee thank you so much for your kind words…I know that is what Morgan would want so that is exactly what we will continue to see happen. We are so happy that we are finding out so much information now, it hurts to know that we couldn’t ultimately protect Morgan but we want to be able to help others by solving her case and bringing awareness to as many people as possible.

  6. I found this blog through an internet forum and I see so much of my younger self in Morgan–I too was a bit of a hippie chick, wanting everyone to love one another, always finding the good in people. I feel like in a different place and time, Morgan and I could have been sisters or best friends. My heart breaks for the dozens of people who miss your daughter every day.

    I am so, so angry every time I read about another complete and utter failure at the hands of LE. They had a tiny repertoire of half-assed ways of catching the stalkers, and they either disregarded or thwarted every attempt you and Steve made yourselves. What really struck me was that they told you it wouldn’t do any good to force Morgan to stay with someone else for a while. I know Morgan didn’t want to leave herself, but why didn’t they encourage her to go? It was painfully obvious that this wasn’t just your normal basic stalker leaving notes and flowers–he/they didn’t fit the profile. If K was in fact responsible, would he have had the resources to follow Morgan where ever she went? I don’t want to believe the PD was “in” on this, but as many others have pointed out, they seemed to be protecting someone, and I’ll go a step further and say they were making life easier for the stalker as well.

    I have unfortunately come to the conclusion over the years that no one–not the police, not the government–cares more about protecting your life than you do. The law favors the aggressor, as you see in, for example, domestic violence situations in which the victim seeks help and still ends up dead. The police cannot protect us in every case, and the worst part is, sometimes they don’t even try.

    • I agree with you Allison, but Steve and I really want to make a change in those laws and in the way these things are perceived – there has to be big changes made to protect victims in all of these violent situations. People do seek help from law enforcement, because they do think they will help, and in every case that is law enforcements job – to protect the victim. I know it’s not always possible to save everyone, but they have to try with every fiber in their bodies, or get into another line of business, because that is the job they are sworn to uphold.

      • Oh, absolutely! I agree with you 100%. It is their job to do everything they can to protect the public. I think the awareness that you and Steve are bringing to this is very necessary, because there is no reason why in a case like Morgan’s, they couldn’t have done more. There is something so inherently wrong with the way things are run, and that’s what I mean about the worst part being that sometimes they don’t even try.

        I applaud the work that you are doing to change how these cases are handled.

  7. Something occurred to me today. We learned in a training that a hacker can find your location by photos taken by I-phones ,I-pads etc. iPhone’s and smart phones have built in gps, could the stalker have kept tabs on her that way? Maybe how he always seemed to know when she came home? (by the way it can be turned off in your Settings- Privacy or Location)
    I check in with this blog everyday. Hope you find answers someday.

    • I think what you are saying is a strong possibility and we are going to have someone look into that. Thank you so much for trying to help – I really do appreciate it.

  8. Sorry to comment again in the same day, but today I read the news articles you posted regarding this case. When I read this line, “The sheriff’s office says they visited the Ingrams’ neighborhood nearly 50 times in a four month span, and never found any signs of a stalker,” I became angry and confused. The fact that they said they never found any signs of A stalker, not any signs of THE stalker, seems to imply that they never believed there to be a stalker at all, not that they simply never caught him.

    During this period of stalking, did any of the detectives ever question whether you/Morgan were telling the truth? Did they spend a serious amount of time looking at the videos and photos that hundreds of thousands of strangers have now stared at over and over, trying to find something that could help? Or did they brush it off and say they couldn’t take that evidence, just like they couldn’t use your batteries or your video equipment?

    It’s just interesting that in your blog, it comes across like there were detectives assigned to this case who genuinely cared and wanted to help, but that they were ultimately ineffective, whereas the article says that the “sheriff’s office,” whomever that may be, can’t even say for sure that there WAS a stalker. I don’t understand why anyone from LE would string you and Morgan along like that, saying they believe you and want to catch the guy, but conveniently showing up with dead batteries, without dogs, an hour too late, etc., and then turning around and saying that as far as they’re concerned, there was never a stalker at all.

    The whole thing just screams of a cover-up. The more I read about it, the more upset I become. I am so glad that you are doing what you are doing, because I think it’s making all the difference. This case will not fade into the background or get swept under the rug. We all want answers for you and for Morgan.

    • During the 4 months of stalking and all the way up to the closure of Morgan’s felony stalking case in May the Sheriff’s never said they didn’t believe us, they never questioned that there was a stalker(s), even the times when it was quiet for a few days and we were trying to convince ourselves that it was over (yes, even 2 days before she was murdered) I would tell Detective Rob that maybe it was over, and he would say he did not believe it was over, in fact he was worried that it would escalate, so for them to take that stance, after Morgan was murdered, that they never saw a stalker is an easy out, because they definitely knew there was a stalker, and they definitely were trying to catch the stalker(s), but it is true that they never SAW the stalker(s), because there was never a hope or a prayer that they would in the way they were trying.

      And you are right – it does scream of a cover-up, but was it a cover-up or was it a cover “your you know what” in this case? Thanks for your support, and I pray that with what we are doing the truth will come out, and people will take a stand so things in the future will not be allowed to get swept under the rug any longer. Maybe I am a dreamer when I say that, but in my heart I truly believe evil can only exist when good people stand by and allow it to exist, I really believe there are more good people in this world than bad, and they will stand up and do something.

  9. I think that watching crime shows like Law and Order or the hundreds of others that have been on tv during our lifetime have given us all a very false sense of security.

    In real life they have hundreds of cases that they are working on. Some incredibly important, some benign. In real life, they don’t figure it out inside of an hour with 4 commercial breaks. In real life, police work is a business. Businesses are designed to make money. Police catch bad guys who are going to pay big bucks to their respective city. In real life, cops are doing a job. And much of that job is to make themselves look and feel important. In real life, they lie to cover their ass. Shock, horror, dismay! I know… It’s tough to hear. In real life a drug dealer is a better money maker for the city than a stalker or a murderer.

    Have any of you ever been the victim of a violent crime? Have any of you ever been arrested? House broken into? Am I really the only person with insight on this phenomenon? Allow me to share if so. I was mugged in broad daylight at gunpoint. (Gun to my head in case you want to go to the happy place and need gory details). Police came, got a report and the license plate # of the criminal who did this to me. Were they arrested? Nope. 2 months later I got a POST CARD that said the case had been closed and Atlanta police dept was sorry that they were unable to catch the guy.

    Next our house got broken into and the guy who did it was found by my husband. Hiding from the police who were chasing him to kill him. He had us call the FBI, whose # was in his pocket. Strange? I think so.. Shortened version of the story: drug deal with shady cops, judges, and a DA who this guy didn’t want to do business with anymore. He went to jail for 5 years. For burglary. Of our home that we refused to press charges about.

    Last, my husband was arrested for a DUI in front of our home. I was there. He was drinking a beer about 200 yards from our house and the cops were looking for someone else (we found out later..) My husband fit the description, they followed and then grabbed him. He lost his job and we paid nearly $10,000 in lawyer fees, court costs, bail bonds, city fines, probation fees, community service hours, time missed from work, etc. The police report is a public document and they are required to share it. We read it and were absolutely shocked by how twisted the truth was. They charged him with alluding the police IN OUR DRIVEWAY. He didn’t run, fight, or anything. Yes he argued but it was a crazy incident and 100% of people would have done the same.

    All of this is a tiny snap shot of what goes on in real life and happened in different cities for the record. I cannot believe how naive people are to say I read the police report and now I understand. Oh my God! No you don’t. Did none of you ever bs your way through a book report about something, you barely read or remember? That is their JOB. A police report is a memory jog of what you did that day- ALL day. I’m a hairstylist and there are days so long and so busy I couldn’t tell you who I saw in the am if I had 10 clients in a day. And I’m not stupid.. Just human.

    Don’t even get me started about losers with a badge and a gun. My dad was a police officer so I don’t think all of them are bad, I swear. But the ones who are bad, are really really dangerous.

    Toni, I’m sorry to be so long winded, but I read the report too. All of it. It couldn’t be anymore evident that these guys are covering their ass and nothing else. The other side (as another person mentioned) has their head in the clouds with rose colored glasses and is obviously convinced the world is perfect and nothing bad ever happens. Apparently they don’t watch the news. Or maybe they think that’s just a tv show too.

    Justice for Morgan will be found.

    • Thank you for commenting – I am so so sorry all of that happened to you – I think like everything else in life that is experienced there are good people and bad people, but what I also believe is that people should be accountable and if you have a job in a position of authority then do you job and do it well or else get another job. It’s not fair to the citizens that you are sworn to protect.

  10. Exactly. And that brings to mind one of my favorite quotes. “What is done in the dark, always comes to light. Eventually.”

    Please don’t feel sorry for me. I just wanted to paint a more realistic picture for people who think that the police are always right. They are overworked, underpaid, and can’t be expected to be 100% accurate. But when the mistakes are life threatening or worse – and it costs a life like Morgan’s? They have some explaining to do! We can’t let this case stay pushed under a rug.

    I’m thrilled to see how many people signed the petition I told you about!!! Are you at the goal yet? Haven’t checked it in the last few days. Justice is around the corner. I can feel it 🙂

    <3, a

  11. Law enforcement can be ineffective for many reasons; lack of training or equipment, corruption, poor leadership/low morale- the list goes on and on. What I notice though is when mistakes are made and the consequences are serious agencies get very paranoid about liability and do scramble to cover their backsides. I can’t really tell if there was a cover-up or blatant effort to NOT catch the stalker before Morgan’s death- but it seems pretty obvious there was a large broom used afterwards to sweep everything under the rug. Bless you for turning that rug back and exposing the mess. Your efforts may lead to the answers you need, and I am convinced other lives will be saved due to lessons learned.

  12. I just saw Morgan’s parents on Dr. Phil show. Very very disappointed in him. Question that was not ask, unbelievable!! I have never saw a story that made me sick as this one. I’m very Sorry for the Hell your family will always live with. Please keep the blog up. Just do not put out names. That can’t be against the law, can it? Shame on the police department. Lawsuit needs to be filed against them. Really parents called 50 times and has proof and nothing is done. Again this terrible story needs to Wake people up to what has happen here. Know that you local barney is not doing their jobs. I’m mad as Hell with the way this was handle. My heart hurt for you all. May you get the help your family deserves.

  13. I to watched the Dr. Phil show that you and your husband were on. I have to say I was extremely disappointed in the questioning and lack of questioning that Dr. Phil had done and not done. Im even more stunned after reading each of your daily blogs and accounts of the pure torture your sweet daughter had to endure and it clearly seems that Dr. Phil did not take the time to fully read and investigate your writings, facts and daily proof.
    What even stuns me more that when Dr. Phil brings out “?” and states what happened to Morgan (ie-gave her substances where it caused her brain to sieze, her heart to stop and her life to end etc) and then said to the Dad (ie-that you knew about it, or helped to cover it up etc), then turns back to ? and asks “What do you say”? and “?’s” immediate reply is “I say where’s the proof?” That really struck a cord with me because most so called falsely accused people’s reply would be “I didnt do it”! Not replying with asking a condescending question of “where’s the proof?”. Only people with something to hide, or that truly are guilty of what they are being accused of would remark with a comment/question like that. Just something to think about….

    I dont agree with taking down the blog I think that is Dr. Phil trying to appease both sides, which he tends to do quite often these days. Freedom of speech goes both ways, and you as a Momma Bear and as an American have a right to demand justice.

    May the Lord bless you and your family and may he continue to give you the strength you need to keep up the fight.

  14. I also watched Dr Phil and was extremely disappointed on how he did the show. ? & dad should not have been on the stage with Mr & Mrs Ingram. That show should have been all about Morgan and what happened the months leading up to her death.
    I have been reading this blog since the show aired and I keep getting angry at how things were handled by LE. THEY FAILED MORGAN!
    I also want to say to Toni, thank you for sharing so much of Morgan with the readers of this blog. I feel as if I knew and loved her too. God bless you all and I am praying that all this will bring the justice Morgan deserves.

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