Halloween 2011…I see her over and over again

morganhalloweenI see my sweet youngest daughter, over and over again every Halloween, just as you see her here in her mouse costume.  Did you notice the heart drawn on her shoulder?  She put hearts everywhere – it was a Morgan thing. 🙂  This was her last Halloween.  She was having fun with her friends after they all came over to carve pumpkins & roast the seeds.

I see Morgan’s sweet face and wish with all my heart that I could kiss and hug her again…I know until the day I die I will wish the same thing.  How could people live among us in this world that can take a life and not care?  I have been told over and over again that there are many people in this world that are sociopaths and for them other lives have no meaning.  But as a mother I want to scream, “Why my child?”  She did nothing wrong…she was a loving, giving soul.  Then I think back on all the children that have been taken over the years.  It doesn’t matter what they were like they were still loved and their parents are still fighting for justice.  You should hear some of their stories…it is just not right…no one has the right to end another’s life against their will.  It is not right, and never will be right.

It is really hard some days with all the holidays coming up.  I want my baby back, but I know I can’t have that one wish.  The pain never goes away and I am pretty sure it never will.  I am no longer the person I used to be because a piece of my heart called Morgan disappeared the day she died.  That missing piece will never be replaced.  But a funny thing happened tonight that made me want to write this blog.  I was lying in bed feeling very sad and all of a sudden I saw a “flash” picture of Morgan pop in front of my face, she was upside down smiling to surprise me.  It made me smile and disappeared just as fast as it came.  Maybe most of you think I must have been dreaming, but I wasn’t.  My eyes were closed, but I was wide awake and just sad – I can feel Morgan around me most of the time, but it is really a wonderful surprise when she pops in to cheer me up.  So now when I see her Halloween picture I am reminded of all the fun we all had and I am grateful for that.  Still sad because I can’t have future holidays with Morgan, but grateful for all the wonderful times we did have together…I feel blessed.

3 thoughts on “Halloween 2011…I see her over and over again

  1. I’m so very sorry for your loss. This blog was just shared in one of my FB groups and I couldn’t stop reading it. What has happened to your family is unimaginable. Your daughter was a beautiful person inside and out. I may have missed it in a previous blog, but I wondered if there was any way to try and bring your case to Dateline or 48 hours to gain more national attention and to out pressure on those involved in the coverup?

    • Thank you Christina for your support. No I have not spoken with anyone from Dateline or 48 hours – not sure how I would do that. So far people in the media have come to me. I was recently asked to have her case on a different show but decided to wait on that one. If you have any suggestions about who to reach out to on Dateline or 48 hours I would do so. Or if they want to reach out to me they could go through this website http://www.morgansstalking.com

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